"So you've had a busy few months since you were here last, haven't you?," Anne asked as we sipped tea in her garden.
My eyes widened and I unintentionally inhaled a sip into my throat. I managed to recover with just a quick cough or two, but it still didn't buy me enough time to figure out how to answer a question about having sex with her son.
"Um...," I stalled.
"Oh!," Anne said embarrassed. "I didn't mean it like that." She patted my knee and chuckled to herself. "I just meant a lot going on in general. Seems the attention always comes after dating rumors are confirmed. It's never easy." Anne gave me a sympathetic look and I imagined she had seen many girls come and go over the years.
"Yeah, it's been a bit nuts at times, but we've managed," I said while my mind played through some of the crazier moments. It stopped and festered on Rhiannon for longer than I would've liked. It had been just over a month since she sold the story about me and I had completely cut her out of my life. I considered giving her a piece of my mind, but I wouldn't dare give her anything she could use to sell another story and profit off being a back-stabbing bitch. I swallowed down the rising hurt and anger to make way for more words to Anne. "It's been eye-opening for sure. I've seen some people's true colors. That's been tough to deal with."
Anne's expression fell and her lips landed in a straight line. I could see her scan the surroundings for the words she wanted to say. I had found Anne to be insightful in her advice and thoughtful with her words, I assumed she was about to display both characteristics.
"Sometimes it's not people's true colors that you're seeing, it's that people don't know what they want."
I took in Anne's comment and couldn't make the connection on how Rhiannon's blatant betrayal could be seen as her not knowing what she wanted. Suddenly I realized Anne must've thought I had been talking about Harry. She had been there to see things unfold the other day when Harry so openly declared he didn't want to get married. Although that still didn't sit well with me, I didn't want Anne to get the wrong idea about my thoughts on her son. Before I had a chance to set her straight on what I meant, she continued.
"A person's actions will show you who they are much more than their words will. I think you and Harry have dealt with all the challenges you've faced quite well," Anne added with a soft smile and a sip of her tea.
"Thank you. I know he and I will be alright. I've just learned who my true friends were along the way," I clarified.
"Ahh, I see. It's better to find out now than before more damage is done. Toxic people like that need to be removed from your life before they spread like mold." My mind visualized Anne's words literally and I pictured physically removing Rhiannon from a tiny bathroom with a sledgehammer while wearing a plastic suit and mask. I chuckled to myself before returning my attention to Anne. "Anyways, how are you feeling? How is your pregnancy going so far?"
"I've been feeling just fine, well except for when I fainted the other day," I paused and continued on with symptoms I was just now realizing, "and really hungry, and kinda tired."
"And emotional," Harry added as he stepped out into view with a grin on his face. Anne glanced his way with a turned up brow that I appreciated.
"And all of that is to be expected," Anne said. Harry took a seat at the foot of my lounge chair and lightly rubbed the front of my shin with his left hand. He gave me a sweet closed-mouth smile that let me know there was no ill intent with his latest comment, just a relapse of idiot perhaps. "And things seem to be progressing well," Anne added with a smile.
"Yeah. Everything looked great at the checkup," Harry answered enthusiastically. His excitement over our pregnancy was always endearing.
Harry was actively interested in what I would be going through over the next nine months and he even bought me a book for the plane, particularly to help control my need to google. Pregnancy was something I felt in the dark about. I didn't have much experience with it, obviously never being pregnant before, and none of my close friends had taken that step in their lives. I didn't realize how little I knew until I got lost in a downward google spiral of "pregnancy worst case scenarios." Terrible search idea. Terrible.
We just needed to get through these nine months, then we'd be fine. I was good with kids. I had babysat quite a bit growing up in Green Bay and if you counted all the kids my cousins back home had it was enough to build an offensive line for the Packers. The idea of parenthood didn't frighten me as much as it probably should have, because I kind of liked kids more than adults at times. They were honest and full of so much wonder and creativity, which was inspiring. Knowing Harry had a natural way with children was comforting as well. I often found myself daydreaming about how he'd be with our son or daughter, and crying tears of joy. Okay, maybe I was emotional.
The three of us chatted a while longer. Anne shared stories of both her pregnancies, thankfully no horror stories. She said she was happy to answer any questions I had, though she was certain things had changed in the past 21 years.
Today was our last day at Anne and Robin's. We were driving back to London tonight because we had a meeting scheduled with Modest Monday morning– the meeting. I had done my best to not think about it and stress these past three days. It was easier to push to the back of my mind than I thought. Ever since Thursday night when we, well Harry, had broken the news of my pregnancy the mood had been that of celebration. Friday night's dinner at La Popoté was full of champagne toasts, my glass filled with sparkling water. Harry had been affectionate with his arm draped across my shoulder or around my waist for most of dinner. His family was genuinely excited and Gemma would randomly giggle and say "I'm going to be auntie Gemma" to herself. They were so willing to accept me into their family, like there had been a spot waiting for me. I was a piece to their puzzle and Harry and I would soon be adding our own puzzle piece to this family as well.
*****
My stomach fluttered and this time I was certain it was not baby related. My leg bounced on the bluish-grey carpet of the Modest office. Harry tried to slow its rhythm by placing a hand on his spot on my thigh, but my nerves weren't easily calmed. I knew this was our decision to make and we had the power in this situation by coming to them, but I had woken up with an uneasy feeling. My intuition was telling me that today was not going to be an easy one.
"It's okay babe," Harry said as we waited in the empty office. The receptionist had assured us Hannah would be in shortly. "Hannah is the most reasonable out of these guys. That's why I scheduled the meeting with her. That, and I think Greg is too scared to meet with me after the earful I gave him for calling you. I'll do most of the talking. You can just answer the questions she asks you."
I nodded and took a sip from my water bottle. Maybe if I drank enough water I could use a bathroom break as an excuse to make my exit. I only entertained the idea for a moment before realizing I should just suck it up and get through the next hour. It couldn't be that bad.
When Hannah walked in a minute later my nerves settled a bit at the sight of the tiny woman. She was likely in her late forties, just shy of five feet tall, and had a blonde pixie cut that made her look both unassuming and like she was qualified to do her job. Harry and I both rose to our feet to shake her hand and exchange proper introductions. She smiled and looked me in the eyes. Part of me wondered if that was kindness or a tactic to disarm me and let my guard down. Once we were all settled back in our seats and Hannah was behind her mahogany desk, she was the first to speak.
"I'm glad you finally called this meeting Harry. We've been trying to manage your relationship for sometime. You know we don't like to be in the dark about things." She was Harry's choice for the meeting and she was starting off passive aggressive. I would hate to meet anyone else from Modest.
"I know you don't. But you also know how I feel about having my love life managed," Harry said back with a smirk. Hannah chuckled.
"I do know, and so does Greg now," she laughed again. I wondered just how harsh Harry had been after Greg left me a voicemail against Harry's wishes. "So, should we get started with my end of it with the NDA, or did you have other matters you wanted to address? I've actually gotten a few requests from restaurants and shops that are interested in the two of you being papped at their establishment. We can go over those too."
"I don't think we need to go over any of that Hannah," Harry said. I suddenly felt guilty that he was handling everything while I sat there in silence.
"I've got no problem signing a non-disclosure," I chimed in. I had already told Harry that I was on board with an NDA when he brought it up after our ultrasound. I tapped Harry's knee to let him know I was fine with it and he curled the corner of his mouth up in appreciation.
"Well that's good to hear," Hannah said raising her eyebrow and giving a closed mouth smile. "Now you were saying Harry," Hannah turned her attention from me back to him.
"I was saying that's the rest of it isn't necessary. I'm not big on scheduled outings. We've gotten enough attention as it is." Harry cleared his throat and looked over at me with a nervous smile. I knew what was coming next. "What I wanted to talk to you about is avoiding attention becaus–"
"Harry, you know how this business works," Hannah cut him off. "You will get attention with everything you do, and with Olivia being in the spotlight as well it's really unavoidable. It's almost to your benefit to give the media what they want with stories and arranged sightings." Harry looked annoyed and gnawed on the back of his knuckle. He hated being interrupted and Hannah's suggestion was surely aggravating him more.
"Okay, but what I was trying to say is the reason we want to avoid all that is because we're having a baby. Liv is pregnant." Harry took my hand in his to show Hannah that it wasn't an issue of contention between us, hopefully encouraging her to react accordingly. I watched him smile and let out a breath from his nose. I assumed he felt relieved to say it and somewhat satisfied to shut Hannah up after her interruption.
Hannah left out a small nervous laugh at first, almost as if she thought he was joking. Within a second she realized it was indeed true and her face shifted to panic. I watched her eyes widen just before she tried to regain her composure. She failed.
"Harry! We cannot go through this again. Haven't you learned from Louis' situation? I'm disappointed, honestly. You've always been careful and responsible." Hannah said shaking her head.
I didn't need to look at Harry to know what Hannah had said had made him angry. I could feel the anger rising in his grip on my hand. It had slowly been tightening like a blood pressure cuff. I could only assume his own blood pressure was rising at the same rate.
"You don't choose what decisions I make in my personal life. Not that this is any of your business, but Liv and I made the choice to try and have a baby. As far as I'm concerned we are the only two people needed to make that choice. Your opinion on any of this is irrelevant. Your expertise on quieting these sorts of things is why we came here. I suggest you focus on that for the remainder of the meeting." Harry leaned back in his chair and finally released my hand to push his hair back. He licked his lips and sighed, still agitated.
Hannah sat in her fancy ergonomic office chair with the same face she had after Harry first delivered the news. She was stunned. The times I had seen Harry angry were few and far between. Even now, he had kept his composure and his voice never rose into a shout. He was stern, serious, and got his point across, but never threatening. Even this shift in his usually accommodating and pleasant demeanor was enough to startle those who knew him.
"Okay. Well congratulations on your pregnancy both of you," Hannah finally said after a drawn out period of silence. Her voice was high and breathy as she tried to fake excitement. "Give me a minute and I'm going to just pull up some paperwork. Luckily we just did this with Louis a few months back so it shouldn't be too long." Her tone made it clear she was not pleased to be doing this again.
Hannah was trying her best to be pleasant, but I could see her cracking and her nerves were causing her hand to shake as she maneuvered the mouse on her computer screen. She clicked a few times, typed a few strokes on the keyboard and then leaned backed as her printer hummed and spat out freshly inked pages.
"So, while those print up we can discuss how to handle this publicly. First and foremost do not tell anyone. Ideally I'd just like it to between us and your doctors," Hannah instructed. "People talk and that talk turns to tabloids."
"We're telling our families. We've already told mine," Harry responded. "And I'm telling the guys."
"Okay, but no one else. This needs to stay under wraps until we can't hide it anymore. When are you due?," Hannah asked clicking a pen and grabbing a stack of post-its.
"March 31st," I answered.
"Oh good, so it's early. We've got some time before you show. Here's what you need to do Liv. You need to get papped two times in a row wearing flowy tops that hide your figure. Think unflattering silhouettes," Hannah began to explain. "That might be enough to spark pregnancy rumors."
"Wait, isn't that what we are trying to avoid?," I asked confused.
"Just let me finish. You asked for my expertise, remember?," Hannah said before continuing with her plan. "Then the next outing, preferably with Harry, wear something skin tight showing no bump. Use spanx if you have to, just don't look pregnant. I suggest we arrange this soon before you start showing. This will put doubt in any future stories suggesting you're pregnant." I had to give it to her, that was clever.
"What happens when it's not something we can hide any longer?," Harry asked.
"Then you have two options. Deny deny deny, even though it's obvious or do a cover story about it and we'll prepare a statement for media inquiries. I recommend the second option," Hannah said as she gathered the stack of papers that had now finished printing.
"Well we've got time to decide on that," Harry said with a slow blink.
"A little, but it's best to get these things sorted before the bun is out of the oven," Hannah joked, but we didn't laugh. "As soon as you decide how you want to publicly share the news let me know and I'll draft up the forms. Here's the paperwork we need now. First is the NDA for you Olivia," she slid a stack of papers in front of me and I began to scan them over. It all looked pretty standard and I wasn't concerned about signing it. I wouldn't sell anything to the press about Harry. "The next states that neither of you will speak to the press regarding this situation without first alerting Modest. We need to be prepared to handle the fallout. It needs both of your signatures." Hannah passed the papers to Harry first, he would read and sign, then pass them over to me. "After that is info regarding additional security measures should that become necessary," Harry reviewed and initialed, then slid it to his right to me, "the paternity test agreement stating the baby will be tested for paternity at the time of birth along with the financial cost to you Olivia should it be determined Harry is not the father. Harry, you need to sign the financial statement as well because only you have the option to wave that clause."
"Oh, we don't need the paternity agreement," I said, knowing there was no question that I was carrying Harry's baby.
Hannah paused and looked at me, then to Harry, who began to speak. I was glad he had been assertive throughout the meeting and was sticking up for both of us.
"It's standard paperwork babe," Harry said as he scanned the form and inked it with his signature. He glided it over the mahogany towards me.
"Harry, you really want me to sign a paternity agreement?," I said shocked that he had no objections.
"Yeah, I don't see the big deal babe," Harry said with shrug.
I felt my cheeks warm as my shock turned to anger and hurt. Harry was the one who asked me to have a baby. It wasn't like I had pressured him. He had to know without a doubt that this was his child. He was there for the whole process; the pregnancy tests, both negative and positive, the excitement, the heartbeat, and the tears that we'd already shared just in these few weeks of pregnancy.
"Really Harry? You don't see the big deal in having me sign something that implies I'm carrying another man's baby?," I said with a shaky voice. I wasn't sure if I was going to scream or cry.
"Liv, why are you so upset about this? It's just a piece of paper. It doesn't matter anyways. Just sign it and we can go," Harry pleaded.
Hannah's eyes were darting back and forth like she was watching a tennis match. I felt a rush of tears threatening to make their appearance and that's the last thing I wanted in this meeting. Well the last thing I wanted was to be humiliated and completely unsupported by Harry, but here I was.
"Yeah, I think it's time I go," I warbled. I quickly signed the papers and tossed the pen across the desk. I grabbed my purse and I was out the door before the ink dried leaving Harry and Hannah behind.