I wanna sleep next to you,
But that's all I wanna do right now
And I wanna come home to you,
But home is just a room full of my safest sounds.
"TALK ME DOWN" || Troye Sivan
___
"Wow, Z. You literally just missed Ana and her big sis. And Jesse just took his lunch break. Also, Lou says Soo's sleeping over tonight so...yeah. Expect that. Oh, and you think you might wanna double date?"
Zayn shakes his head and shakes off his coat as he slides onto his typical stool in the bar.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, mate," he laughs, shaking his dyed head. "One thing atta time."
"Ana came in. With her sister."
Zayn nods, blowing into his cold hands as Zach begins to fix him his regular drink. "She told me. I had class," and he shakes his head, "and you can skip all that other stuff," he licks his lips, smile forming. "What about this date?"
Zach laughs. "What the fuck? You actually care?"
"Of course," Zayn laughs as the drink gets slid towards him. "Why shouldn't I?"
"I dunno," Zach rubs the back of his neck. "Sounds more like something Ana'd be invested in, y'know?"
Zayn nods, sipping from his glass. "It does," he nods. "Doesn't it?"
Zach laughs. "You met her big sis, yet?"
He shakes his head. "Had class all day, y'know?" And Zach nods as Zayn stares at him over his glass.
"Well," Zach continues rather quickly, "she came in here and I think you'd like her. Like, Dude, it's hilarious. She's just like Anais, and they were all French and shit, coming in here at fucking four and ordering champagne and getting fucking toasted."
Zayn's eyebrows raise. "Yeah?" He asks, amused.
Zach stares off, laughing at the memory. "Yeah. And Cara was with 'em, too. So was Soo," he chuckles harder. "Bet you could imagine how loud it got in here..." He snorts, "Y'know...with them all laughing and shit..."
And Zayn could see that picture very clearly, and it's almost making him upset to know that he'd missed that because of fucking classes... Not to mention, it wasn't often that Anais got drunk and he was pretty pissed Zach was even telling him this story now, because he'd definitely missed all the good stuff.
He shakes his head.
"'Ey," Zayn tips his glass towards him, "don't switch topics," he says.
"What're you talking about?"
Zayn scoffs. "Who's the lady, yeah? Who's it that's caught your eye?"
Zayn grins as Zach shakes his head and rolls his eyes.
"Don't roll your eyes at me," he smiles with only eyes. "Go on, then. Out with it."
Zach sighs. "Look man, I haven't even asked her out, yet."
He sighs again. "B'sides," Zach shakes his head, "it's like...I feel stupid, honestly. First you, then Jesse, then Niall, and shit?" He chuckles humorlessly. "Ana's friends're probably sick of us, aren't they?"
"Sounds like you're referring to someone specific, mate."
"I'm..." Zach ducks his head, hand on his neck. "I mean..."
And all of a sudden, Jesse's stuck his head back into the conversation and he's leaning beside Zayn, whispering loudly, "Sounds like this's a serious conversation."
Zach shakes his head as Zayn laughs behind his wrist. "Fuck off, Jess."
"What?" He exclaims, balancing on a stool to hop over the bar. "Zayn knows you like Jourdan, he's just humorin' you. Seriously, he's only fuckin' with ya."
Zach turns. "You do?"
"I mean..." Zayn shrugs, a slow smile spreading across his face. "She's the only girl you've been on about, really."
Jesse snorts. "She's the only girl you've been on about," he mimics, rolling his eyes and employing the fake British accent. "What the fuck's that even mean?"
"Ask the fuckin' Queen," Zayn retorts, flipping him off. "That's not what my accent even sounds like, ya prick."
"You both are really fucking unhelpful, y'know that?" Zach adds as Jesse laughs.
He sticks a toothpick between his teeth. "You gotta ask her out, first."
"Where'd we even go?" Zach exclaims. "Shit. Fuck," he stares incredulously between his friends. "What does she like? What's she gonna wanna do? Jesus Christ," he runs his hands across his face. "I feel so fucking stupid, like...Here's another one'a your friends trying to get with one'a Ana's."
"Hey, mate, don't think that way," Zayn says, because he's stopped laughing with Jesse because this is obviously a bit more serious than he'd thought.
"Yeah," Jesse adds. "B'sides, all Ana's friends are models. We probably honestly can't even imagine how many times a day they get hit on."
Zach looks up. "That's supposed to be helpful, Jess?"
"What I'm sayin' is," Jesse continues, as Zayn shakes his head, eyebrows raised because where the hell's this going, "that you shouldn't even worry about all that shit, 'cause you're her friend, right? Like, for some reason Anais and Magdalena and all their friends like us enough to wanna be friends with us, so you've already got a leg up on things, right?"
He claps him hard on the back.
Zach stares at Zayn.
Zayn shrugs, "He's right."
"You agree with him?"
"I mean..." Zayn nods. "Yeah."
"That's 'cause I know my shit," Jesse shrugs. "If Jourdan's dumb enough to like you, then you've got a pretty good chance that she's dumb enough to say 'yes' to a date. She's Mags' friend. This is scientific, man."
"Alright, c'mon, Jesse," Zach groans. "She's not dumb and you're making this seem way easier than it fucking is."
"But..." Jesse begins, high-pitched and drawn-out, "Am I?"
Zayn laughs. "Honestly, like..." He shakes his head, "If you need help, ask Ana. She's been trying to set you up like, for ages."
"Aww," Zach smiles. "That's so fuckin' awesome, man. Can we switch? How 'bout I date Ana for a day?"
Zayn shakes his head, because even though he knows Zach is kidding, he still doesn't find the joke all that funny.
___
Zayn is overprotective.
He realizes this about himself. It's no lie; he'll admit it. And no, it's not like he's selfish, or that he's greedy, it's that he is fiercely protective over the things he cares deeply about.
Call him loyal.
And maybe all things really do happen for a reason, because had Zayn not popped off at Soo's puppy party and had he not let Lucky's instigation drive him to pushing his own girlfriend away, well, then he probably wouldn't have made this self-discovery-like revelation of his as he sits and hears Zach go on about how great his girlfriend is.
He's also -- another realization -- at a point in his life where he just doesn't quite care what other people thinks about him, or the things he does; now more so than ever.
If it makes him happy, and no one's died, why should it matter whether he does it or not?
Which is why Zayn agrees to this double date and tells Zach to stop being chicken and ask Jourdan out, already, because it's been too long since he's gone out with Anais and kicked her ass at bowling.
"Lucky Strikes? You really think that's a good idea?"
"Who the fuck doesn't doesn't like to bowl?"
And, this is also why he gets up from his typical stool and bids his friends farewell and shakes on his jacket and slips out from the bar and into the chilly air because he hasn't seen Anais all day and feels kind of like just chilling.
Before Zayn just shows up at Anais' though, he texts her first.
I'm coming over. :) xx
And on his walk over to her place, he realizes that he probably should have texted her a bit sooner, rather than later, because it takes him literally six and a half minutes to get from the bar to her flat since everything is all relatively on campus.
He doesn't receive a response.
But, Zayn's thinking that all has to do with this quick walk, and maybe Anais is busy, and maybe she's with her sister, and maybe all that has to do with why she hasn't responded to his text.
When he reaches her apartment building, he pulls out his phone to make sure he hasn't received anything in response, and realizes that not only has his text sent, but Anais still hasn't texted him back and she hasn't even read his message.
He's more than fairly sure she's home.
Or, maybe she's still out with Cat?
But, she'd told him earlier that day that Cat had her own thing -- that she was visiting friends, somewhere -- and so he could come over that night.
He brushes off all thoughts of uncertainty and begins to climb the steps to her floor.
Maybe she was just...busy?
Yeah, right.
Maybe she was...studying?
Maybe she had a paper to write, or something.
And the thought of Anais writing papers never fails to make him laugh, so he's got a half-smile on his face when he comes to stand in front of her front door.
And Zayn lifts his hand to knock when, actually, it swings open.
It's Soo.
Her eyes instantly widen as she sees him, and she stumbles forward, tripping over her feet and falling into him for a hug.
She giggles, "Whoa, Life Alert, I'm goin' down..."
He catches her in his arms. "God, Soo--"
"Zayn..." And Soo laughs, eyes closed as he rights her on her feet. "I'm yellin' timber..."
Everything clicks at once.
Zayn is smiling smugly. "Champagne was good, eh?"
Soo nods. "You'd better move, Zayn. You'd better dance."
"You'd better stop singing," he laughs, as he walks into the apartment. "Where're you going? Lou's?"
"AKA your place," Soo giggles. "Yep."
He frowns. "But, you're drunk."
She pouts. "Am not."
Zayn ignores this. "You're like, not gonna walk like this, yeah?"
Soo rolls her eyes, tucking her platinum hair behind her ear. "Jeez, Dad. I'm gonna take a car, okay?"
"Wonderful," and he reaches to pinch her cheek. "Aren't you just a cute little baby, Soo Joo?"
She swats his hand away, swaying unsteadily in her boots. "Hush, Zayn."
"What?" He grins. "You're just so cute when you're drunk. Matter of fact..." He runs his fingers over his chin, "I think I oughtta record for some future time we all need a laugh."
"Don't..." She hiccups. "Just 'cause I'm drunk doesn't mean--"
"Where's Ana?" He asks, knowing good and well that he could spend all night going back and forth with a drunk Soo.
She wobbles around, grabbing her keys again. "Bedroom," she says. "Where else?"
"Right," he snorts, and he follows behind Soo as she grabs an umbrella from beside the door. "Tell Lou I said--"
"You love him?" She laughs aloud. "Sure will."
"Not what I was gonna say, but..." He shrugs. "S'fine, really. You're drunk."
And Soo pokes him with the umbrella. "Bye, Zayn."
He chuckles, closing the door behind her. "Bye, Soo."
And like that, there's quiet.
Zayn locks the door behind him and turns.
"Ana?" He calls into the little apartment. "S'me."
There's no answer.
"Ana?"
There's still no answer.
"Anais?"
Zayn shakes his head -- because what the hell could she possibly be doing?-- and shakes out of his coat before he walks down the hall.
"Ana?"
The light's on in her bedroom, door cracked.
He slowly pushes it open.
"Hey babe, I..."
But, her room is empty, too.
Clothes are strewn across her bed along with the contents of her school work that's been emptied from her bag.
Anais' phone is atop her pillows, sitting amidst the mess upon her comforter.
Her computer's upon her desk, and it's playing Ed Sheeran's '+' album on shuffle. The music is just soft enough for 'Kiss Me' to be soothing and just loud enough to muffle the sounds of the running water.
He can hear her humming softly.
So Zayn quietly changes the song, playing 'Pyramids' by Frank Ocean, before he walks to the cracked door of her bathroom, pushing the door slowly to stand and lean against the doorframe.
"Found you."
"Shit--" Anais jumps, dropping the soap in her hands as it falls heavily to the bottom of the tub. "Fuck me, Zayn," she exclaims, throwing her head back. "God, you scared the life outta me, I swear..."
"Should I check your pulse, love?"
"Ha," she replies, feeling around the tub for the bar of soap. "Hilarious."
"You didn't hear me change the music?"
"Why'd you change my music?"
Zayn only laughs, shrugging. "I thought it was funny."
"Lemme be the first to tell you, it's not."
He grins, watching as she feels for the soap and retrieves it, sitting it upon the dish in the wall.
Anais' hair is pulled into a bun, and she wipes at her forehead with a soapy hand as she sits in the water, bubbles and soap piled high in the basin, steam rising around her.
She's taking a bubble bath.
She turns her head, watching him as she relaxes in all of the bubbles and water and steam. "Having fun over there?"
Zayn blinks. "You didn't answer my text."
"You texted?"
He nods.
She lifts her hands from the water. "Honestly," she hiccups, "I don't think I could've answered, anyway."
Zayn grins as she smiles. "Saw Soo on her way out."
"Yeah?"
"She's so fuckin' drunk."
Anais hiccups. "Still?"
He lifts a brow. "Are you?"
She blinks slowly, and Zayn is starting to realize that he didn't even need to ask that question to receive an answer. "That's kinda why I'm in here."
He lifts a brow. "Oh, really?"
She hums. "I almost don't remember getting home. I dropped Cat off at her hotel and came back here with Soo and passed out," she chuckles, hiccuping again. "It was kind of rough."
Zayn nods, chewing the inside of his lip. "Zach told me."
Anais groans. "Zach needs to learn to not share my business with the world."
Zayn laughs, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. "He tell you that he wants to go on a date, then?"
"With you?" Anais hiccups. " I always knew you two were close, but not that close, y'know?"
He pulls a face. "Funny, love."
"What?" She cocks her head. "Could be fun. Can I come? Am I invited?"
"Um, only if you promise to come home with me at the end of the night."
She stifles a groan.
"Yeah? You say something, Ana?"
She shoots him a quick glare. "Well, I was gonna say that I could get with that plan," she shrugs, sinking deeper into the water. "But," she hiccups, "not so sure, now."
He laughs aloud because she hiccups again. "Sounds like the champagne was good, huh?"
"Don't laugh," she pouts. "I've been hiccuping all day."
"S'all the bubbles," he grins, crossing his arms and lazily running the backs of his knuckles across his beard.
She cups her hands, actual bubbles piling on top of her closed fingers. "Like these?" She laughs, mostly to herself.
She hiccups, body shaking as she blows bubbles into the air.
"You ever take baths with your sisters?"
He nods, staring as her heavily lidded eyes slowly follow the bubbles floating in the air. "Random," he nods, "but yes. Unfortunately," he says.
And Anais laughs, "Same."
Small wisps of hair fallen from her bun are plastered against her forehead, the steam and heat causing small droplets of sweat to bead at her hairline. And Zayn's tongue darts along the corner of his mouth, wetting his lips as he watches her shift in the tub, placing the weight on her hip as she leans her face on her arm, resting on the side of the tub. He catches a glimpse of brown skin as her thigh breaks momentarily through the soap and water, and Zayn's eyes run from her bent knee to her hip. It takes a moment, but he eventually realizes that he's staring.
But, he can stare.
"Zayn?"
She's staring at him through brown eyes brightened beneath the lights of the bathroom.
His eyes snap to hers. "Yeah?"
Anais lets out a deep breath, and Zayn watches bubbles pop on her skin as she dips deeper into the water.
"Tomorrow, when you get out of classes, wanna meet me at the gallery?"
He frowns. "Mine?"
She giggles. "Yeah, yours. I want you to meet my sister, silly."
"There?"
"Yes, there," she laughs, sinking below the foam. Zayn watches water and bubbles run from the tip of her left knee and back into the soapy water.
And Zayn's eyes snap back to hers as she lays her head back against the rim of the tub, laughing.
She narrows her eyes at him. "There is a method to all my madness."
Zayn grabs the hem of his shirt. "Is there?"
"Completely," Anais replies slowly, eyeing Zayn as he lifts the shirt over his head.
She pauses. "What're you doing...?"
"Water's still hot, yeah?"
"Yeah..." Anais says, although now, she's sitting up again, shifting bubbles in the tub because she watches him slip out of his shoes and socks and it's when he reaches for his belt that Anais shakes her head of hair that's been clouded by all of the champagne she'd consumed starting around four-thirty.
"There's not enough room."
Zayn pauses, fingers linked in the pockets of his jeans.
He opens his mouth, but says nothing.
For a moment, he hesitates.
Everything about Anais and Soo's place was just so damn small.
He shrugs. "We'll figure it out."
And Anais sucks in a quick breath because shit, and Zayn steps out of his pants.
Anais doesn't take her eyes from him as he walks her way, pulling off his rings and ruffling his hair before standing before the tub.
He shakes his head, "Like, Ana, move."
She laughs aloud, hiccuping again and sliding over in the tub.
And he steps inside.
She pulls a face. "Happy, now?"
"Shit," he pulls back a bit, dropping into the water. "This like, really is hot..."
"You asked."
"Wait. How fucking small is this thing?"
"Oh my god, Zayn."
"What? I'm like...its like, so tight in here; holy fuck..."
Anais is laughing, now.
"Move your leg," she says.
"This one?"
"Yeah, and...not so fast! I don't want water on the floor!"
He rolls his eyes. "We can clean it up."
"Tell that to the lady with six cats living downstairs."
"Six? That's like, that's got to be wrong."
"You're right, actually. One of 'em had kittens. There's like, twelve, now."
"Anais."
"True story."
"Anais."
"Zayn, I swear to you this is real. Can't you hear the meowing some nights? I'll take you downst--" she hiccups again, "Damn it!"
And Zayn laughs loudly.
She scoops a handful of bubbles across his beard.
He splashes her.
"Hey," she whines. "Why'd you have to go there?"
He only smirks. "Wait," and he lifts his arms from the bubbles and motions for her to slide near him. "Stand up."
"Me?"
"No. Soo."
She chokes on another laugh. "Stop making me laugh, I can't stop hiccuping."
"Stand up then, Ana."
"Okay, okay," and she rises from the bubbles, nearly slipping.
He chokes.
"Shut up."
He doesn't even attempt to hide this laugh as he peers up at her. "Now, turn around..."
"Y'know," she says as she begins to do so, steadying herself with a hand on the adjacent wall, "this was supposed to be relaxing."
"Still can be," he replies, watching as she turns opposite him. "...Now, sit back down."
"Bossy," she replies, despite complying and sitting again in the tub.
He pulls her against his body and kisses her wet shoulder.
He runs his fingertips up her slick arms.
"Better?" He asks.
Anais closes her eyes. "Better."
And every once and a while, Zayn feels her shake against him, a tiny gasp escaping her lips.
"Ana," he says as she leans against him.
She pulls her knees against her. "Yeah?"
"Hold your breath," he says, dipping his hands into the water and running his hands along the curvature of her hips and thighs.
"Hold my breath?"
"And swallow," he kisses the back of her neck. "You taste like soap."
"You don't say?" She laughs. "And why?"
"Like...because of the bubbles, yeah?"
"Not that," she laughs. "The 'hold my breath and swallow' thing," she says. "What's that for? To shut me up?"
He laughs, hands gripping at her moist body. "To stop the hiccups, love."
"Really? That works?"
"Go on. Try it."
___
shout out to @Awkwrd_turtle for the translations last chapter and also thank you to @zainsbeard for helping me with the frenchhh.
sorry this took me a sec. i'm really trying to finish all my stories so over the break (if you're reading them you knew) i was trying to get along with polarize and wistful and charming so now here i am back updating nebula!
can't tell you how many chapters are left, but in total, i'm thinking there's gonna be around fifty-ish.
missed cute zanais so i was glad i got to write this chapter. :)