“I’m sorry, miss, but you can’t go through!” the security guard tells me for the twentieth time, blocking not only my entrance but also my view of the backstage door.
Vita’s words ‘anything and everything’ are driving me now, stuck replaying themselves in my head like a broken record. Its like I’m possessed with determination to do literally, anything and everything.
I guess you could say I’ve got the anything part covered. I’m outside the arena on the last day of the X Factor tour, and to even be allowed to come here took A LOT of convincing my parents. I’ve promised them I’ll do the housework for a month – so, I suppose I’ve ticked the anything box.
The everything bit is proving exceptionally hard to complete, though. To be fair, the only thing I’ve tried so far is convincing bouncers to let me past, and it’s failing hugely. Still, it’s all I have right now.
“But I need to see Harry Styles!” I scream at the security guard by the door. “I’m his girlfriend, he knows me!” not technically true, but I claim the title without thinking, “I’m not just some crazy fan!”
“That’s what they all say…” the bouncer sighs, not showing any signs of weakening.
“Yes and I’m telling the truth! Look, I have his number in my phone, that’s got to mean something!” I plead, thrusting my phone at him so he can clearly see Harry’s name and a bunch of numbers on the screen. He pushes it back, shaking his head amusedly.
He chuckles, “Heh, why don’t you call him then, have him pick you up?”
I confess, everything doesn’t extend just that far. I know I couldn’t call him because he probably wouldn’t answer me. Plus, I’d probably ruin Raya’s dream that this does play out like a fairytale.
You see, I ran straight back to her after my meeting with Vita. I explained everything to Raya in the middle of Covent Garden whilst she was having a break from shopping, and her jaw literally dropped. She was treating my story like an actual fairytale, planning what should happen to make it ‘so romantic’. I zoned out when Raya began to retell the story about hers and Liam’s first official date…
Suddenly, I get an idea.
Liam. He and Raya are still together! Surely he’d be able to let me backstage?! I scroll down my contact list and find Liam’s number.
“Hello? Issy?” Liam whispers down the phone when he answers.
“Liam! What’s wrong…are you with Harry?” I ask as I hear crackling from the other side of the phone.
“Well, I was, but I’m in the hall now,” he says a bit louder, “What’s up, Iss?”
I sigh, “Could you do me a favour and get these bouncers at the back to let me backstage? I…erm…need to sort some stuff out…”
“I’m on my way,” Liam assures me, ending our phone conversation immediately. Did I do something wrong?
Two minutes later, the backstage doors open and Liam appears. The bouncers push a couple of over-excited Aiden fans out of the way and finally let me pass. I run straight over to Liam, who doesn’t look as pleased as I do.
“Hey,” I say, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I guess. What are you doing here?”
“Are you annoyed with me, Liam?” I ask, avoiding his question for a moment.
“I…You…No, Issy, I’m not annoyed with you. Louis on the other hand…” He looks down the corridor, as if checking Louis isn’t on Issy-Lookout. “What are you doing here, though?”
I take a long breath, “I want to sort things out between me and Harry, because I miss him and what he did for me just before and just after the accident was so sweet and…and…I just want him back,” I babble away, using only one breath. Without being able to stop myself, tears leak from the corners of my eyes.
Liam notices and sighs, “Anything I can do to help?”
-
I’m panicking.
What if this doesn’t work out? What if Harry doesn’t want to see me? Maybe he’ll start shouting at me…I hope he doesn’t, or I’ll burst into tears…
What the hell was that noise?
Nothing. It was nothing. I’m just being paranoid. Nobody would come into this dark room at the end of the corridor, anyway. Liam’s knowledge of the whole arena after spending only two days here was brilliant, and came in handy.
The plan is that I have to wait here whilst Liam goes to fetch Harry so I can talk to him. I have to wait a while; they have to perform first. However, this gives me plenty of time to think about exactly what I’ll say to Harry.
…So far, I have no ideas.
I’m about to drift off into a fantasy where everything works out perfectly, when the door opens just a crack.
It could only be Liam, I think as I panic more. Standing, I walk around boxes I was hiding behind and slowly walk to the door. It’s not moved at all since it opened, but I can see Liam’s shadow in the light. I can hear voices, too.
“Um, it’s nothing, Louis, I just think…er, I might have…left something in here when I was…practicing, earlier,” I hear Liam bluff, talking down the corridor to Louis. I stop moving entirely – I bet Louis hates me. He can’t know I’m here.
Mumbles follow Liam’s lie, to which Liam replies a final time with, “Yeah, sure, I’ll be with you in a sec.” Immediately after, he’s in the storage room, the door shut and the lights flicked on.
“How is he?” I demand to know of Harry.
“Issy he’s a wreck,” Liam says, as if it were obvious, “Obviously he puts on a brave face for the cameras and when we go out on stage, but the rest of us see right through it. It’s horrible to watch.”
I clasp a hand over my mouth in shock; tears begin to fall down my cheeks and I have to quickly gather myself together. “Liam I’m so sorry-” I say, removing the hand from my face.
“-He’s not the one you should be apologising to,” a voice says from behind me. I freeze completely, horror spreading through my whole body. I can practically feel my plan shatter into pieces within my befuddled mind.
It’s Louis. He pushes the door open a little more and struts in, standing right in front of me, Liam stood protectively between us.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” he scoffs, then raises his voice more, “After all you’ve done…If you’d have seen the damage you’d caused to Harry, you wouldn’t dare come see him. What are you even doing here?!”
“Why do you think I’m here, Louis?” I shout.
“Oh, I don’t know, perhaps you’re gonna depress him even more than he already is?” he yells back.
“Louis, you know what happened between us. It’s not been great for me either,” I voice calmly. I don’t want the shouting to continue, Harry may only be down the corridor.
Louis doesn’t have the same concern. He doesn’t shout, but I know you’d be able to hear him on the other side of these four walls, “Issy you haven’t been with him these past few weeks. When you stopped talking to him, he was heartbroken; when you turned him down after he sang to you, he couldn’t believe it; and when you were in hospital he felt so guilty. He’s acting brave for everyone else, but to us who knows the truth, it’s torture.”
“Why do you think I’m here, Louis?” I repeat but in a whisper, “I know I was wrong, I was horrible, and I want to set things right!” I squeak.
“I bet you do,” Louis whispers angrily. He folds his arms and prepares to speak again, shaking his head at me.
“What’s going on?” a voice suddenly calls from the doorway. Neither of us noticed that the door had swung fully open, revealing an exhausted-looking Harry. His eyes, darting between Louis and me, were full of pain.
I nearly broke down in tears just looking at him.
I snapped my head around once, then straight back again. Unable to move from the spot any more, even to turn my body around to face him, I allowed Louis to express his opinion. I would have expected more screaming and accusations, but there were none.
“Harry, are you OK? C’mon, let’s get you a drink,” he said softly, walking towards Harry with a smile, avoiding looking at me completely.
“No,” Harry began, looking past Louis and right at me. I could see through the corner of my eye. “What does she want?” he addresses Louis.
Tears roll down my cheeks. He doesn’t want to know me any more. He won’t even use my name, let alone talk to me! I may as well leave now.
No, I can’t do that. Anything and everything. Here’s my chance.
“I want my boyfriend back,” I say quickly, before Louis can scoff a response to Harry. I still haven’t moved properly, and I’m talking to the corner of the room.
From the silence, I guess that something in Harry’s expression shut Louis up. I hear muttering, and through watery eyes I see Louis leaving Harry by the door alone. He slowly walks forward so he’s in front of me.
The door slowly closes, and it’s just Harry and me in the room.
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There's just one chapter left now!
I've had lots of lovely comments on this story so far (THANK YOU!) and I'd love even more on this chapter and ESPECIALLY the final one! :)
Pretty pretty please? :)
The final chapter will be up tomorrow...
Unless I've died after watching One Direction's music video ;)