"So, when do I get my Mickey Mouse toy present?" Matt asked after we finished both pizzas. We were lying on the floor, atop a mountain of cushions and blankets, my head resting on Matt's stomach while he tangled his fingers through my hair. "Just for you to know, if it's not an actual Mickey Mouse toy, I'll be slightly disappointed."
I laugh, struggling to get up having eaten way too much. After my third attempt to sit up, I sigh and give up. "It's over there," I said, vaguely pointing towards a corner of the studio. "It's the one that's wrapped and has your name splattered on the front."
Matt loves gifts. Like, seriously, I've never seen a puppy get that excited over anything, and puppies are the most excitable creatures ever. Getting up quicker than a strike of lightning, Matt rushes over to where I put his gift and grabs a hold of it before rushing back over and placing it in front of him. She starts tearing at the wrapping, and I roll my eyes at how he's missed the message I'd written on the front. It only said, Love You, Monkey, but still.
"Wait, what is it?" Matt asked just before the wrapping came undone entirely. "No, wait, don't tell me." A second later, he says, "No, tell me. No, don't."
The internal debate goes on forever, until eventually, Matt smiles and takes off the last layer of wrapping. The paper falls like snow around us as Matt finally sees the painting I made for him. From the way he stayed silent, I felt a pang of worry spread through my body.
"Oh, God, you don't like it!" I shrieked, looking over at him. "I knew I'd mess up. Look, I can get you something else, I swear. Name it and I'll get it for you because I know I totally suck at buying gifts and well, you know better than anyone that romance is not my thing, but I thought I nailed it this time."
The painting was oil on canvas, and it was one based on a photograph that Matt took of me in a bar in London over summer vacation. He kept raving about the photo for months after and I knew he carried it around in his wallet, proudly showing it to everyone that asked him if he had a girlfriend. I thought it would be a nice gesture to have the photo made into a painting, that way it would be with him forever.
"Matt, seriously, I can get you-"
"Anah," his voice was barely above a whisper and it was incredibly shaky, making me worry even more. Matt spun his head to look at me, his face etched with awe and a wide smile. "It's perfect. Now I feel bad for just getting you that ring."
Slightly offended, I pulled the hand that wore ring up to my chest, clutching it to my heart. "Don't ever say that. You're not getting the ring back, mister," I tell him sternly. "This is your promise to me."
"And this," Matt looks at the painting once more. "Anah, you really do know how to do romance. This means more than any ring ever possibly could."
"Not to me," I say, leaning over at him and nestling into his arms. He draped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me tightly to his side. "Does that mean you like the painting? I spent months getting it perfect."
Truly, I had. My roommate got annoyed of coming back to the dorms and smelling paint. She threatened to have me kicked out of the room if I didn't quit my art work. Eventually, the super took pity on my and told me that there was an old utility shed up on the roof of our door building that was no longer in use and he gave me the key to turn it into my temporary studio. I worked on the painting whenever I was free, usually into the early hours of the morning, and between tests and such. Plus, much to my annoyance, I couldn't get my hands right. It bugged me big time and I still wasn't entirely happy with the outcome.
"You look beautiful in the picture," Matt said.
"I had a good photographer," I mused, nudging him slightly with my hip.
"No," Matt turned to look at me directly in the eye. His stare was intense and hungry, and I knew exactly how this was going to end up if he kept the stare going long enough. "You are so damned beautiful, Anah. Truly, you're just so... I am a very lucky man."
Settling the paining aside, Matt leaned in and kissed me in a way that left no room for doubt about how much he really did love me. Kisses like this were my favorite because they connected us on another level that was hard to describe. It was like he and I were no longer two separate beings, but one. In sync. Without words, he and I knew exactly what the other was thinking, what the other wanted, what the other needed. It was, for me, the purest form of our love and I never wanted it to end.
Ever.
"Hey, Anah," I heard my father's voice call my name just before the door to the studio opened, killing the mood instantly. Dad stalled at the door and gaped at us. "Awkward."
"You don't say?" Matt grumbled, dropping his head against my shoulder.
My father and Matt got along really well, to the point that my boyfriend could answer back to my dad like that. Dad rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"We figured you might be out here," Mom said as she came to stand at my father's side.
"It's the whole nut house," Matt mumbled against my skin. He rolled away and lay on his back before reaching up a hand and waving towards the door. "Audrey. David."
"Hello, Matthew," Mom chimed at my boyfriend. "We brought you some early Christmas gifts."
I'm not entirely sure who threw them at us, but a small wrapped box landed between Matt and I. I stared at it, narrowing my eyes at the size and shape.
"You didn't buy us condoms again, did you?" I asked, remembering the joke gift Matt received from my parents last year. Mom and Dad laughed before they shut the door on us. "I hate my parents."
Matt picked up the box and unwrapped it, revealing exactly what I'd expected. "Good timing, though," Matt said, opening the box and peering inside. "I left my wallet in your room."
We both laughed at the audacity of my parents. Ever since Christmas Eve last year when I brought Matt home to meet my family- officially- my parents have fallen in love with him. Dad even says that, if Matt and I ever break up, he's taking Matt's side over mine. Loyalty. Mom, too, adored Matt. Some days I'd hear her say, 'If only I were a few years younger.' Honestly, she swoons over everything he does.
Eden, having known Matt for years through Jake, accepted him instantly, but Noah was slightly harder to win over. Eventually, my brother came around and now he and Matt are like two peas in a pod. Honestly, their bromance is sickening. Noah, Jake and Matt are like the Three Musketeers. Or, they were. Right now, I'm not so sure what they are.
"Is Jake okay?" I ask, turning to gauge Matt's reaction. I know my question is a mood killer, but now that his name had popped into my mind, I had to know. "I get that he doesn't really want to see me, but he's my friend and I care about him."
Matt shrugged. "He's as well as he can be, I suppose," he answered vaguely, looking away from me. I reach my hand up to Matt's chin and force him to look at me. With a long sigh, Matt runs his hand through his hair. "He's broken, Anah. He's usually happy-go-lucky and nothing can bring him down, but your sister really did a number on him. I haven't seen him like this since him and Kat... It's just really sad to see him so down, that's all."
I nod. Jake Preston has always been the life of the party so I can well imagine how weird it is for Matt to see his best friend like this. Matt told me all about Jake and Kat's relationship after we started dating and I'll admit it changed my opinion of Jake. At first, I hated how he used Kat and Eden, going back and forth between the two, but then I started to see the bigger picture. Jake had truly loved Kat in his own way, but they were too young to know what that meant. It's like tow ships passing through the night; timing wasn't on their side that time.
"Do you think had and Kat would ever get together?" I asked, sounding out an idea.
"I haven't thought about it," Matt admitted. "I mean, they're talking a lot at the moment but I don't know what's going on. He's messed up and the last time he was messed up like this, he and Kat made bad decisions. I think Jake just needs time to get over what Eden did. Speaking of your sister, how is she holding up?"
"Not good," I say through gritted teeth. "I know she's my sister- my twin- and I'm supposed to love and support her through everything, but I'm finding this so tough. I mean, Asa! Of all people, she cheated with him? He was like a brother to us and I just can't get my head around why she'd ruin that. I mean, if she ended her relationship with Jake and then got with Asa, it wouldn't have been so bad, but this... I just hope everyone can move on and be as happy as we are."
Matt scoffed. "No one can ever be as happy as we are. We're the ultimate couple. The Forever Couple. You can't deny that, by the way, it's forever written in our Year Book. You and I, Anah, we're the exception to every rule. Want to know why?"
"Why?" I ask. Matt grins at me and moves to stand, offering his hand for me. Wondering where this was going, I let him pull me up and wrap his arms around my waist. Slowly, he starts swaying us to the beat of the song playing. Hold Me In Your Arms by Ray LaMontagne. "Are we dancing, Mr. Sutter?"
He nods. "Of course. Now, my theory about why we're so different to every other couple we know. It's really quite simple. I will never, ever, love someone as much as I love you and until the day I die, you're always going to be the girl I compare other girls to. At Amherst, girls throw themselves at me," he notes, sending me a wink when I swat his arm away. "I don't reciprocate because they don't smile like you. They don't laugh like you. They certainly don't get my temperature rising like you. No one compares to you, Anah. Everything about you is perfect for me. You're the only girl I have ever needed and ever wanted and ever loved. That's why no one can ever be as happy as us, because they don't have you and they don't have me. We have each other. That's what makes us the best couple, ever."
Somewhere in the middle of his speech, tears began to flow from my eyes. For the second time this evening, Matt had delivered the most amazing speech I've ever heard and driven me to tears. Happy tears, of course. I wiped them away and stared up at Matt, noticing how his eyes were filled with love and sincerity and adoration. His feelings for me were complete and pure, just like they'd been on this day last year.
A year had passed, but we still loved each other as much now as we'd loved before. If possible, maybe the love had increased. All I knew is that this, being with Matt, hearing him say those things, being in his arms... this is where I belong and nothing compared to him either.
"I know I'm not romantic like you, Matt," I say, my voice quivering through the emotions. "But, I'm going to give it a try. Ever since seventh grade English when I caught you staring at me, I've been in love with you. I didn't plan on it happening and for the longest time, when I though you didn't like me back, I prayed that I could switch off those feelings I held for you.
"I tried to tell myself that I was being stupid," I continue, looking directly into Matt's eyes. "I tried to tell myself that Sutter would never look at me the way I look at him. My feelings were one sided, I though. Still, even if that was the case, I loved you from the first day I saw you. Years passed by, and that love I felt for you then, it intensified. Yes, we both made stupid mistakes and we took the long road to get to where we are, but I'm so glad that we finally found each other.
"I'm sorry that I'm not the best with words," I say, taking a deep breath. "I'm sure this doesn't make much sense and I'm pretty sure I'm rambling, but... Matthew, no one had ever meant as much to me as you do. I might not be able to tell you every day that I love you, but when I look at you, when I touch you, when I hold your hand and kiss you, that's me loving you. None of that will ever stop, because my love for you will never end. The only way you and I are ever going to be over is when we're ninety-nine and on our death beds, because no one ever compares to you either. Quite frankly, I don't want anyone that does compare to you. If I can't have you, then I don't want anyone because I. Love. You. Only. You. Always."
Matt smiled at me, reaching down to kiss me. It was desperate, greedy, passionate, hungry, wanting... it was everything, and more. "And you said that you weren't romantic. I love you, Anah. So much. Now, about that Christmas present you parents gave us..."