I stirred awake as I rolled over to the other side of the bed. It was warm, as if someone hadn't been gone from it too long. But from the imprint left in the pillow and sheets, it wasn't me.
I blinked the remaining sleep away from my eyes as I pushed myself into an upright position. My eyes adjusted to the dark room one more. No one seemed to be around.
I pushed myself out of bed and stumbled over towards the door I'd seen Kylo walk out of last night. It didn't open, even as I pushed against it. I sighed and walked back further into the room. I frowned as I caught a whiff of something...
Me. It was me. I was in desperate need of a shower, and fresh clothes as well seeing as the rags I called pants and a robe were stained and tearing at the seams. I sighed, deciding I'd ask about that whenever he returned.
I decided to entertain myself by looking around the room. There wasn't much too it, really simple actually with a place for clothes, a bed, a chair, and a small table. The only interesting thing in the room was the smashed, damaged helmet residing on that pedestal across from the chair. I walked over and began examining it without moving it.
It certainly looked familiar. I felt... Wrong, though. A strange sense of... Something radiated off of it.
At the sound of the door sliding open and footsteps walking in, I jumped nearly ten feet in the air. I looked towards the door where Kylo stood.
He froze as he saw me by the busted helmet.
"What are you doing?" he demanded.
I stammered, "I-I uh... I was just looking, I swear! There isn't much to do in here, and-"
He held his hand up to silence me, though he didn't use the force on me.
"I know being cooped up in here isn't exactly... One's idea of enjoyment. At least, probably not you. But this is the safest place for you."
I asked quickly, "Why? Why didn't you let me die with the others?"
He avoided the question, "You wanted to bathe and receive clean clothes. I'll get you fresh clothes, follow me please."
His voice was a strain, almost as if he were pleading with me to just go along with him. Ugh, was I really going to feel something along the lines of... What, sympathy?
Kylo Ren, the being responsible for the death of.... No, I couldn't even say it...
"Will you ever give me the answers I want?" I asked loudly in frustration, my own voice pleading. Within seconds he was inches from me, leaning down towards me. My eyes widened as I stared up, holding my breath.
"I have given you no reason to doubt me, have I? You can judge me by the things you think you know, or you can stop and think about what I'm doing for you. This isn't something I do, now is it? For once in your life, you need to trust someone. And I'm that person you need to trust."
I forced the words out of my mouth, though they came out in a pleading whisper, "Please, just tell me."
He reached his black leather gloved hand up, almost as if he wanted to touch my face, but slowly dropped it back down. "I promise you answers in time. Can you accept that?"
Did I have a choice?
I silently nodded and followed him as he led me to another room connected to his.
***
Sometime later I found myself clean and in a black long sleeved shirt and very comfortable form fitting black pants with black boots.
I piled my long, white hair atop of my head in a bun, uninterested in dealing with the mess.
When I reentered the room, I saw Kylo sitting in the chair, his back to me and his helmet off.
"Kylo?"
He didn't turn, but he raised his head up slightly. "Uh, you're done already?"
Back home we tried our best to conserve what little water we had, so I didn't waste water much, even if there was plenty to do so.
I mumbled a response as I stared down at my feet. He slipped his helmet back on before standing up and walking over to me. "You clean up nicely."
I snorted. I didn't expect him to say that, which I think was a compliment.
"Yeah, well... Thanks?"
He straightened. "You can't leave the room... Yet."
I sighed. "There isn't anything to do in here... If you spared me just to be miserable-"
"No no, I.... Look, we'll figure something out. Just please bear with me, hm?"
I stared up at his mask. I could feel eyes on me. And I found myself wondering what they looked like, what I'd see if I stared into them....
As he tilted his head to the side, my cheeks turned a fiery shade of red. Did he hear anything I thought just then?
He breathed deeply. "I have things I have to go do. We'll talk when I get back, okay? Please just..."
I looked down at my feet. "I'll behave, promise. Not real sure what you're worried I'd do.."
Nothing else was said as he left the room.
***
At some point I fell asleep, desperate to escape the overwhelming sense of tedium.
But it wasn't peaceful.
Fire engulfed my family's home. I heard faint screams, though the roar of the flames is all I could really hear. "Ma!"
Flames licked at my flesh, searing me. I screamed in pain and fear as sweat poured down my face. I was scared, and couldn't see what was where.
But before the flames engulf me entirely, a tall figure in black storms into my room, the fire dancing away from him, creating a path as he walks towards me. He picks me up with ease, rescuing me from my certain death.
***
I awoke to someone shouting my name and shaking me. My eyes snapped open wide as my heart raced. I reached out for the person nearest to me and curled against their chest as I snapped my eyes shut once more, trying to calm myself down. That dream was an altered memory...
Rough hands softly smoothed my now fallen hair and rubbed my back gently. "You're okay. It was just a dream."
I slowly opened my eyes as I realized it was Kylo holding me. The same Kylo I dreamed of rescuing me from the fire that took my family so long ago...
I wanted to pull away from him desperately, but for now he was all that anchored me to the realm of the awakened. "It was a memory," I whispered hoarsely.
After a moment I pulled away from him and forced myself to look at him. "You promised we would talk when you returned."
He nodded his head slowly. "I did promise that."
He takes a seat in the chair, turning it to face the bed where I sit with my back pressed against the wall, my knees pulled tightly against my chest.
"Give me at least one reason why I'm here. Please."
"I gave you a reason before. I admired how easily you bravely accepted what your fate was. You didn't plead or beg... You just accepted it. And I would like to know why you accepted it?"
I countered, "Couldn't you simply take that from my mind?"
He chuckled. "Sure. But that's not the way I want things to go with you. When I do that sort of thing... It isn't pleasant for the person I do it to. I do not wish to inflict pain upon you, Maiya."
My eyes widened slightly. I was taken aback. "Why?" I whispered.
He leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees. "I... I feel a connection to you. I felt it when I rescued you. I can't explain it, and I know you don't want a connection with me. I know you see me as an evil monster, capable of betraying his family in some awful ways and just accepting it, wanting it... I didn't ask for this life, Maiya. I didn't ask for this connection, with anyone I mean. I only wanted to connect with the path I've chosen to take, whether it be right or wrong. It's mine. You just happened to be... Part of it, I guess."
I blinked as I remained silent. That wasn't quite what I expected from him.
"I don't want you to be some awful monster. I really don't. I want... I don't know what I want. But I know I desperately want to be wrong about you. Why can't I be wrong?"
He clasps his gloveless hands together. "You can't be wrong because this was the choice I made for myself. And for you to be right, would mean I was wrong... And it's better for us if I'm..."
I surprise myself as I scoot closer towards him. This surprises him too as he looked up suddenly.
"Take the helmet off." I don't ask.
He doesn't move for a moment, so I tilt my head down slightly as I watch him, waiting for him to do it. Finally, he slowly reaches up and begins to remove his helmet. Something grasps at my chest- anxiety. I need to know who I'm talking to. I need to know him.
Slowly as he moves the helmet off and places it down on the floor, he slowly looks up at me. I straighten up as I take in a deep breath.
I certainly didn't expect him to be this handsome.
His curly black hair wasn't too messy after taking the helmet off, the length reaching the nape of his neck.
His dark brown eyes bored into my blue ones. I stare back into them, searching them for something. I find myself lost instantly.
My eyes travel down to his full lips. Oh, wow...
He has a huge scar across his face undoubtedly from a battle. It doesn't make him any less handsome.
"Not what you expected, huh?"
I look back at his eyes. "No. Not even close."
He looks away as if fear and uneasiness takes over him suddenly. And then I do something unlike myself- I reach out and place my hand on his cheek. He stiffens for a moment, but finally looks up at me.
"You're awfully human for someone I imagined as a monster."
He smiles slightly. I nervously began to pull my hand away, but his bare hand reaches up and places it back. "Would you hate me for whatever it is I feel towards you?"
I smile softly. "I can't hate you for something neither of us seem to control or understand."
"I thought you hated me? Feared me?"
I say quietly, "I did. Maybe I still do. I don't know. But... Well, I'm alone in this world. My family is gone, I have no one... Would it be too terribly awful of me if I wanted to actually stay here... With you?"
He smiles more. "I don't think so."