This thing is acting up! The things that are supposed to be in italics are encased in these little do-hickys (*) just incase they aren't like they're supposed to be. Sorry if it causes confusion. Now this is in italics! Tsk tsk.... technology. Here we go!
{Chapter 31}
Aubrey chose to ignore the smell and broke off her hug with Wade.
Perfume, was he really that careless?
Wade took off his coat and hung it on the back of a chair, along with his chaps and hat.
“Where’s Jay?” he asked.
As if he really cared about Jay.
“He went to spend the night with the boy in the bunkhouse,” Aubrey answered shortly, walking around him and not making eye contact.
She felt his gaze on her back.
“Guess that’s good for him. Did he take Sadie?” Wade asked.
“Yes” Aubrey answered shortly.
Wade was probably getting the idea that she wanted to be alone with him tonight. Well, that simply wasn’t so she wanted to be as far from him as humanly possible.
What did he think, cheating on her?
Why?
Why didn’t he just say that he wanted more from her?
Aubrey’s mind was such a jumbled up mess that she could hardly think straight.
“How’s work?” she asked.
“Fine” Wade answered.
Sure it was.
Aubrey pulled off a yawn after a few minutes of trying to conjure one up. “I’m tired. I think I’ll go to bed.”
She saw Wade nod out of the corner of her eye.
She changed quickly, glad that his back was turned, and slipped under the covers, wishing that she could put up the pillow wall again without him knowing that she was catching on. She didn’t know why, but she just couldn’t let on about the things she knew now, the pain that was in her, threatening to burst into rage.
Wade came to bed a few minutes later, slipping his arms around her as he normally did. She stiffened, but didn’t move to stop him. She couldn’t believe that he would do this. It just wasn’t like his personality. He was sweet, kind, and caring. He would never dream of hurting her.
No.
She couldn’t be having these thoughts. The proof was right before her eyes, and she couldn’t put that aside.
She had to get out of here.
Her last thoughts were of her heartbreak with hot tears streaming down her cheeks.
**********
She quietly shut the lid to her suitcase and looked around the little shack she had come to view as home, still dark from the absent sun in the wee hours of the morning. She fingered the curtains and breathed a deep sigh. Looking down at her Stetson, she decided that she needed the ever-painful reminder so she didn’t get herself in this situation ever again. She should have been more willing to him, she should have voiced her feelings so he wouldn’t have done this to her. She blamed herself for everything.
*Wade,
I can’t stay here and you know why. I can see that you’re not happy with me here so I’ll just go home. Have a good, happy life and take care of Jay, whatever you do.*
Pausing a moment, Aubrey looked down at her own writing.
*All my love,
Aubrey.*
Looking over to where Wade slept, she took a deep breath and walked to his side.
“You’ve got to understand that I can’t stay, Wade,” she whispered. “Every fiber in me wants to stay here and wants to believe that this is some terrible mistake. I love you so much, yet I hate what you’ve done. Someday you’ll understand me.”
She didn’t feel the confidence in her words she was hoping for. She would never forget Wade or what they had shared. As if her insecurity about her own feelings wasn’t enough, he had gone and disproved what she thought he meant when he said “I love you”.
She leaned down and kissed his forehead, feeling her heart shatter into pieces.
“Goodbye, Wade.”
Tears pooled at the corners of her eyes and threatened to spill over. She turned on her heel and walked away before she changed her mind.
She desperately wanted to tell the others good-bye, but didn’t want to risk Wade catching up with her and convincing her to stay. He made her go out of her head and she would likely forget how serious the situation was.
She walked out to the barn and saddled Cookie.
*I hope I’m making the right decision here.*
**********
Wade rubbed his eyes and woke up, blinking as he stared at the ceiling. He smiled. Today, all of his work would pay off. Today, his marriage would get ten times better.
Then he noticed the bed was cold beside him and his arms felt empty.
The door flung open.
“Hey, Pa” Jay’s voice said, carrying Sadie inside.
“Did you have a good time?” Wade asked groggily, still processing his surroundings.
Aubrey’s hat was gone, and so was her robe.
Strange.
“Tiny snores too loud. Then Ms. Toni started screamin’ in the middle of the night and woke us all up. Mr. Erik said that she’s kinda cranky sometimes,” Jay explained, setting Sadie on the floor.
Wade smiled. “So not that good, huh?”
He looked around. Her dresses and nightgown were gone, too.
He sat up and looked around again.
“Have you seen Ms Aubrey?” he asked Jay.
“Nope” Jay said.
Wade looked to the corner. Her suitcases were gone.
What was happening?
Jumping up and pulling on his shirt, he jerked on his boots with rising panic.
“Where’s she at?” Jay asked.
Wade walked to the door and saw something on the table that resembled a note. He picked it up and read the contents with haste.
This couldn‘t be real. This was just a joke someone was playing on him. She couldn‘t leave. Not now.
“Where‘s she at?” Jay repeated.
“I have no idea” Wade squeezed the boy’s shoulder before sprinting toward the barn. Looking inside, his worst fear was confirmed.
His knees went weak with dread, but he forced himself to think.
“Okay, so if she was just going to a ride, her things would be gone. She had to have left. I figure the time to be about six, so that means she probably will catch the nine thirty train if she’s leaving” he spoke to himself.
Why would she leave? Something must be wrong.
She said that he knew why she was leaving, but she had it all wrong. Wade didn’t have the slightest idea. Sure, she was a little cranky last night, but that was a regular occurrence with any person, right? He’d figured that she had just had a bad day. He guessed that he had been wrong.
Wade saddled Abe and Jay came into the barn.
“Where ya goin’?” he asked.
“To find Aubrey. Go back down to the ranch and wait for me” Wade told him, putting his dusty boot in Abe’s stirrup.
“When will you be back?” Jay asked.
“I’m not sure. Tell Ms. Toni that Aubrey’s gone and I have to find her” Wade mounted and looked down at Jay.
“Is she gonna come back?” Jay asked.
Wade looked up at the barn ceiling.
*God, please don’t let her leave before I get there.*
“I’ll be back as quick as I can” Wade spurred Abe into a run.
“Come on, Abe. You’ve gotta get me to town before that train leaves” Wade tried to convey the urgency to his horse.
Abe picked up speed, and Wade prayed that it would be enough.
***********
Aubrey twisted a handkerchief between her fingers and wiped tears from her eyes. The train would leave any minute taking her far away from Desperado and even further from Sundance, but furthest from the MC Ranch. She didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to never see any of them ever again. She wanted to believe that there was no chance that Wade would ever be unfaithful. Her insecurities about her own feelings had driven him to it, she was sure of that. Yet when she envisioned him with another woman, it made her blood boil.
He had been her man, no one else’s, and yet some snooty, flighty female had taken him. Aubrey could picture her now, blonde hair, baby blue eyes, and a perfect figure. Aubrey fisted her hands and tried not to think of that any longer. Suddenly feeling stuffy, Aubrey opened her window on the train, embracing the cold December air. It hit her that Christmas was just around the corner, and yet she wouldn’t spend it with the one she loved most. Her heart was shattering into a million pieces.
“Aubrey!” A voice called.
Aubrey looked out of the window, sure she had heard wrong.
Yet there he stood, in the flesh, Wade Dylan.
“What are you doing here?” She asked, sticking her head out of the window.
“What’s wrong here, Aubrey? Why are you leaving?” Wade asked, breathing heavy.
So now he was going to play dumb?
“You know exactly why I’m leaving! I’m onto you. I had my suspicions, but that perfume I smelled on you last night just confirmed it.
“Let me explain. Can we just talk about this?” Wade asked.
“I don’t want to hear any weak excuses” Aubrey tried to sound tough and hardened like Toni McBride, but the tears flowed anyway.
“Please, honey. I’m begging you not to leave” It seemed like Wade’s dark sapphire eyes turned into a baby blue color in a split second with fear, but Aubrey knew she was imagining things.
Yet hadn’t his eyes always given away his emotions?
The train started moving and the whistle blew. Aubrey knew it was too late now.
“Please” Wade sounded like he would get on his knees at any moment and beg her to return home.
The train started moving, and Wade walked along with it, faster and faster.
“Talk to me” he pleaded.
Aubrey wanted to jump off the train and forget that this ever happened, to just pretend that this was all a bad dream. But it was too late.
“I’m sorry” she heard herself say before Wade ran out of platform and stood at the edge, watching her leave.
Aubrey could have sworn that she saw tears behind those pleading eyes.
Just like that, he was gone.
Aubrey leaned back against her seat and took a deep breath. This couldn’t be happening.
She felt hot tears stroll down her cheeks one by one until they all broke loose. She hated the fact that she had doubted Wade in the first place. Everything in her wanted to hear what he had to say, but feared that she wouldn’t believe him.
*You’ve got yourself into this mess, now you follow through with it, missy.*
********************************************************
Ta-da!