My phone buzzed in my jeans pocket as I jotted down the equations that our Chemistry professor wrote on the black board.
Ray : We need to give you a name.
Not again!
It had been a week since my birthday. A week since Raymond started dating Abigail.
Since he was always busy with her, we decided to stay in touch through texts. Texting him had become my routine. He was the first person I texted after I woke up and he was also the last person I texted before I slept.
We grew closer to each other this way. With words, I started knowing him better. I also came to know that he worked in a café on weekdays since he didn't use his dad's money for himself. He was an amazing person. For the first time in two years I felt so good talking to someone.
Someway, I trusted him.
So he has been on this spree for a couple of days. He says he gives a name to people he likes the most. A name that only he can call them with.
I quickly typed a reply.
Me : Not again, Ray!
Ray : C'mon Ashley. Peach?
Me : No.
Ray : Strawberry?
Ray : Muffin?
Ray : Marshmallow?
Ray : Pumpkin?
Ray : Buttercup?
Ray : Lollypop?
His text came one by one and I giggled as I read them.
Me : Done with all the eatables?
Ray : Angel?
Ray : Princess?
Ray : Sunshine?
Me : Ray, I don't like any of the names. Ashley's fine.
Ray : Got it! SNOW?
As soon as I read that, I had a strange jittery feeling inside of me and I smiled. I liked it. Snow.
Me : Okay. :)
Ray : You like it?
Me : Yes, Ray!
Ray : Aw yeah you love it! Woohoo! :D
I shook my head with laughter and realised the class had finished. I now always chose to sit at the back of the class since Raymond would text me to an annoying extent. I got up to leave the class when I heard someone call my name.
"Ashley! Did you note down the ketone group chain of reactions. I uh, missed it." Finley said.
I didn't know he was in my class.
"Here." I pulled out my notebook and gave it to him.
"Thanks." He flipped through the pages and remarked, "You've got a hell of a handwriting, girl!"
"Yeah." I smiled before turning around and exiting the class.
"Ashie!" Stacey squealed as I approached my locker.
"Stace!" I tried to give it back to her with the equal excitement.
"I like it!" She said nodding her head.
"Like what?" I rummaged through my pile of books and finally found my Social Psychology text book.
"I like it that you're happy now-a-days."
"You mean I was sad before?" I raised a brow and questioned her.
"No. I mean it's good to see you interact with us without sulking." She smirked.
"Basically, my best friend's happy because I'm happy. Sounds legit." I said as I placed my hand around her shoulder and we walked to our next class.
"Raymond's the reason, I guess?" She smiled at me.
"Maybe. Maybe not." I answered in a sing song manner.
The class went on slow. Real slow.
After class, we were heading to the cafeteria when I spotted Raymond snogging Abigail. I looked away but my best friend had other plans.
"That's Raymond? I thought he didn't come to school today." Stacey said.
"Yeah. Stace I'm really hungry! Let's go eat something."
"What? You're hungry? You're hungry after eating a whole burger and loads of fries!" She exclaimed.
"Er, yeah." I muttered looking down at my feet.
"Don't you lie to me Ashley Summers! I am well aware of your eating habits. You won't be hungry for the next six hours! I know you!" Her voiced boomed as she accused me of lying while I just sheepishly looked at her and played with the loose strands of my hair.
"C'mon!" She grabbed my arm and dragged me towards where Raymond and Abigail were busy exploring the insides of each other's mouths.
Once there, Stacey coughed and immediately caught their attention.
"Hi!" She said in an all too cheery tone.
"Er, hi!" Raymond scratched the back of his neck as I looked at him.
Abigail just rolled her eyes at us and placed a wet kiss on Raymond's lips before saying, "I'll see you later baby!" and leaving.
"What are you doing here?" Stacey asked Raymond as she placed her hands on her hips to look dominating.
"Abi had cheerleading practices so I brought her here."
Hearing this I walked away. This was so stupid. I didn't know why but I was mad at him. We hadn't met since three days and I liked attending classes with him. When I asked him to please come to school today he denied. But I was still okay with him. And now he shows up out of nowhere that too for a stupid practice!
Un-freaking-believable!
"Snow! Wait!" I heard him call after me and at the same time Stacey said, "Snow?"
I bolted past the students in the corridor and went out of the school building but he was fast. He caught me by the arm and swung me around before pulling me into a tight hug.
"Hey..." he whispered as he stroked my hair, "what's wrong?"
I couldn't answer him.
I was on the verge of crying.
Crying?
What the hell was wrong with me?
He pulled apart and cupped my cheeks, "Are you okay?" He said as he stared into my glistening eyes.
I nodded and swallowed hard before speaking.
"I don't want to talk to you." My words came out hoarse and I withdrew and turned on my heels towards my car.
"It's Monday today, Snow. I'll be waiting for you at the park. Same time." He shouted and I didn't give him any answer.
I drove faster than usual. I didn't know where I was going but I wanted to be alone for a while. I needed to sort my thoughts. I stopped when I reached the back side of Raymond's farmhouse. I climbed the gate. I strode past the orchids that led to a lake. Raymond had shown me this when we came here the second time. The lake wasn't a part of the farmhouse but it was left undisturbed leaving that side of the farmhouse with no boundary fence. I sat down on the soft damp grass and picked a few pebbles and threw one into the pond. I looked at the circles forming on the surface of the water as the pebble came in contact with it.
And I thought about Raymond.
I saw myself as the lake and him as the pebble.
I knew he was danger.
I knew I will have to bear with the invisible marks I will have on my skin where his worlds would touch me.
And still I let him come into my life. Invade my space.
What was wrong with me?
What was I up to?
I sighed as I threw another pebble in the water. I looked at the circles forming on the surface of the water as the pebble came in contact with it.
Again.
I noticed the bigger circles and how they faded away sooner that the smaller ones.
Was it always like this?
That the effect diminishes later?
Will it be the same for me?
Maybe now I was getting used to him.
Maybe now I was starting to like the fact that he affected me.
Maybe now I wanted him to be in my life.
Maybe now I agreed that he was important.
Maybe now I started liking him?
I quickly pushed my last thought aside and shook my head. He had a girlfriend. He was happy with her. Moreover, he saw me as a good friend. A person he felt nice talking to.
That's all.
I threw another pebble.
Then another.
And another.
I still wasn't able to collect my thoughts.
What should I do now?
I got up dusting my jeans. For now, I would act normal. Like nothing was wrong with me or my thoughts.
I needed to give myself some time.
One thing was clear though. I wasn't mad at him anymore.
So I was certainly going to the park.