I never thought that it was possible to feel like dying when you're still breathing and alive. Ilan araw din akong namuhay sa kahihiyan, takot at pangamba. It's nearly been a week, I was waiting for them to fire me. Paano ba naman kumonti ang pinapagawa saakin, it only meant they were not trusting me anymore. Kaya kahit si Romeo at Rose ay natakot din sa nangyari. They said it wasn't normal, the bosses here would be quick to remove someone if they made a mistake or been caught of disrespectfulness. Kaya habang hindi pa sigurado, iniwasan muna namin mag-usap about work related kapag lunch break.
Tumawid na ako sa pedestrian lane nang mag-green ang stop light. Nauuna kasi ako palaging bumalik sa dalawa, one thing I'd learned about working, ayoko na may napupuna saakin kahit tama naman ang ginagawa ko. Unless it was really something to be change of.
I was about to run to the huge building when a hand stopped me from running. "Ay, Mr. Esqueza!"
Someone laughed. "Seryoso, Mr. Esqueza?"
It was the guy who helped me during my first day. He was wearing a black pants and a white t-shirt while holding a magazine. Pinagtitinginan siya ng mga taong papasok nadin sa opisina.
Tinanggal ko iyong kamay niya sa balikat ko. "Kinabahan naman ako sayo! Muntikan na ako magka-heart attack!"
He was giggling. "Mr. Esqueza? Crush na crush mo ba iyong boss mo? Wala kapa atang isang linggo dyan iba na nababanggit natin ah," sabi nito at nilagay ang kamay sa bulsa ng pantalon.
"Feeling close! Bakit ka nandito? Sinusundan mo ba ako?" I asked, trying to ignore what he just said.
"Ikaw lang ba may karapatan magtrabaho? Nasaktuhan kong may naglalakad na duwende."
Nanlaki ang mata ko. "Kapal mo sa duwendeng part, average itong height ko!"
Ipinangtakip niya iyong magazine sa sinag ng araw na tumatama sa mukha nito. "Oo na, papaliwanag natin iyan sa baranggay."
Inirapan ko siya, medyo naiinis sa mga sinasabi niya. "Pahiram muna niyan!" Hablot ko sa magazine sabay takbo papalayo sakanya.
"Oy, h'wag iyan!"
Tumatawa akong pabalik sa building at hindi na siya binigyan ng pansin. Pagkapasok ko, marahan kong itinaas iyong magazine sa mukha ko. Para akong kriminal na nagtatago dahil baka may makakilala saakin at ipahuli sa pulis.
Wala pang ibang tao dahil maaga akong bumalik. Nanigas ang buong katawan ko nang may narinig ako na nag-uusap, it was Mr. Esqueza! Shit. May kasunod siya na ibang businessmen and his bodyguards were beside him and also his assitant.
I almost broke my neck while shying my head away and hid behind the magazine I was holding. Their voices were close to where I'm standing, I didn't bother to move or even look. Hindi naman sila gagamit ng ordinaryong elevator na ito, kaya alam kong maliit ang tyansa na mapansin niya ako.
"We have to set a high marketing strategy upon releasing this product, a strategy that's never been done before. Where we can catch the people's attention, leaving them remembering it," boses ni Mr. Esqueza ang nagsasalita.
"I agree, we can also hire more people to promote this product through their social medias. It's one of the most powerful tools nowadays," aniya naman ng kausap.
"Indeed," maikling tugon ni Mr. Esqueza.
They were talking robotically while I was still hiding behind this magazine. I got paralized when I inhaled a familiar scent near me. Dahan-dahan kong ibinaba ang magazine sa bibig ko at sumilip, Mr. Esqueza was standing infront of me pushing the elevator button.
"Is your lunch break over?" he asked, raising a brow.
I smiled awkwardly. "Yes, sir. Katatapos ko lang po."
He looked at his watch. "You still have ten minutes, are you going to start this early?"
I didn't answer. Dapat isipin ko muna iyong mga sasabihin ko bago ako magsalita. Mahirap na magkamali, alam kong pinag-iisipan na nila ang pagtanggal saakin. Ngayon pa na nakita niya ako! I'm sure he remembered what happen last time. He maybe would ask his assistant now to kick me!
"Unless you smoke," he spoke again. "Do you?"
Umiling ako at mas lalong naging pilit ang tawa. Para akong naiihi sa pwesto ko at biglang pinasukan ng lamig ang tiyan ko. "No, sir. I don't. May nakalimutan po kasi ako sa desk ko na kailangan kunin."
"Sir, the VIP's are waiting," singit ng assistant niya.
"Use it with them. I'll use this one," he told his assistant and pointed his hand toward the elevator. "Ladies first?" he told me.
His assitant mouth fell open but managed to hide her emotion. She walked back and joined the businessmen and Mr. Esqueza's bodyguards then assisted them.
"What are you waiting for?" he asked impatiently this time.
Mabilis akong pumasok sa elevator. My heels were clicking on the floor, tila ba bumigat ng ilong kilo ang timbang ko sa presensya niya. I was about to stand on the side nang bigla akong ma-out of balance. It all happened too fast, nabitawan ko iyong magazine and the next thing I knew his hand was on my waist already, stopping my body from falling.
"Are you alright? Do you feel sick?" he asked a bit concern.
He helped me stand up slowly and I froze into place when I felt him on my back. His lips were almost on my hair so I inhaled a huge air. Tumaas ang kamay niya sa bandang tiyan ko, helping me stand still. Para akong napaso sa apoy at mabilis na lumayo sakanya.
There was silence for a bit. "Have you eaten?" seryosong tanong nito. Hindi ako makasagot dahil ayaw kumalma ng sistema ko. "Have you lost your voice? Are you okay?"
"Sorry, sir!" Natataranta kong sagot. "Yes, I did it. Okay lang po ako, hindi pa kasi ako sanay magsuot ng ganitong heels araw-araw," pagpapaliwanag ko nang hindi tumitingin sakanya.
"You can wear anything you want, you know," he stated.
"I don't want to break this company's dress code," nahihiyang sagot ko.
"I'll give you an exemption as long as it is not revealing, I can allow that."
Napanganga ako sa sinabi niya. I looked at him, still trying to process what he told me. My cheeks were probably blushing because I suddenly felt sick, my stomach was aching as if gazillion of butterflies were uproaring inside.
"Safety is also our top priority here," he continued when I didn't answer. "My team and I are talking about dresscode a few days ago. It's not totally approve yet, just letting you know that you can wear what makes you feel comfortable if you want to."
I showed my teeth, giving my best effort not look dumb. "Thank you for that, sir. I appreciate your concern." I was proud when my voice didn't stutter.
Tumunog ang elevator button sa floor ko. Mabuti nalang at mabilis itong bumukas. I bowed down to him and walked out hurriedly.
"Ms. Villafuente?"
I stopped walking. Lumingon ako sakanya na kinakabahan. "Yes, sir? You need something?"
"I believe this magazine is yours."
He bented to pick up the magazine on the floor. Nagmamadali akong makipag-unahan sakanya para damputin iyon pero mabilis siyang tumayo at inabot saakin ang magazine.
Mas lalo akong nahiya sa ginawa niya. Hindi siya iyong lalaki na pwede mong utusan pag may ipapakuha ka. He was the type of guy who would ask someone to pick up for him when he dropped something.
Niyakap ko ang magazine nang maiabot na niya ng tuluyan saakin. "Sorry, sir! Thank you for helping me." My head was overthinking. "Hindi na po mauulit!"
His face was confused. "I don't mind at all," he said holding the open button. "But why are you holding an adult magazine?"
I gasped in horror. Mabilis kong tiningnan ang magazine na niyayakap ko. I was stunned when I saw an almost naked body of a woman in the front page! Damn that guy! Bakit siya nagdadala ng ganitong magazine?!
"Ah... Eh... Actually, it's for my brother! Yes, that's right. Inutusan niya ako bumili nito kasi fan daw siya ni Arci Muñoz," pagsisinungaling ko.
Confusion flooded his face once again as if he knew I was lying. I don't have a brother pero hindi naman niya siguro titingnan kung ilan kami sa pamilya, 'di ba? Punong-puno na ako ng kahihiyan dito. Gusto ko agad maglaho ng parang bula.
Ngumisi saakin si Mr. Esqueza. "Well then, tell your brother to enjoy reading that magazine. And also tell him I'm looking forward to meet him one day."
Then the elevator door closed. Leaving me breathless, as if I was slapped by the lie I just told him. May mas ilalala pa ba ang sitwasyon na nararanasan ko?