"Have a good day at school, love," I kissed the top of Eddie's head and hugged him once more.
"Mu-um, Harry's looking," Eddie whined, causing me to laugh at his expression.
Just to annoy him even more, I smothered his face with kisses causing him to groan. Once I decided that he had had enough embarrassment for one day, I pulled away and smiled at him.
"Be good," I shouted after him as he raced away to his new friend, Harry.
The two began to move their hands in a weird synchronisation which I'm assuming is the handshake that Eddie was talking about. It felt good to know that he was fitting in easily. That just gave me one less thing to worry about.
After dropping Eddie off to school, which was thankfully only a ten minute walk away from our apartment complex, I took a bus to my university and braced myself for my second day there. Unlike yesterday, I made it on time to my first lecture of the day, and I was glad because I didn't want to have a round two of awkwardness. Lauren wasn't in my lecture this morning, and I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
Once my lecture was over, I walked out of the building and stuffed my notebook in my satchel. When I looked up, I bumped into someone, only for them to hold me in place.
"You should really watch where you walk," Lauren laughed. "Wouldn't want you to trip over would we?"
I smiled awkwardly. "Thanks... and, um, sorry about that. But um, how did you know where I was?"
She settled on a smile and said, "I saw you walking in this morning when I was walking to the library. I actually wanted to ask you something..."
I nodded. "Oh, okay. Well, shoot. I'm all ears."
She closed her eyes momentarily, and I noticed her take a small breath before opening them again. "Do you maybe want to come to my apartment tonight? You know, to catch up?"
I bit my lip, trying to think of a polite way to decline. "I'm not too sure about that, Lauren..."
Her eyes widened and she shook her head. "Not like that. I mean, I just want to catch up. You know, as friends. Nothing more, I swear."
I pondered her offer and wondered if I should take it or not. She did say it was only as friends, and I would honestly love to catch up properly, too. The pleading look in her murky green eyes was enough to convince me.
I nodded and slowly smiled. "I would love to."
She grinned immediately, but I could see her trying to dial it down a little, for my sake. "Okay, I guess I'll see you tonight then. I'll text you where later."
I nodded, beginning to feel excited about it. "Okay, thanks. I'm going to the library now but I'll see you later, I guess."
She nodded and her smile never left her lips. "I'll see you later."
I smiled at her shortly before walking away and to the library. I could have either made the best decision of my life, or the biggest mistake of my life. Only time would tell.
***
I told Y/BF/N that I would be a little late tonight and if she could still babysit. If she couldn't, I would cancel with Lauren in a heartbeat because Eddie always came first, but thankfully, she could, claiming that I had to get out more, so the plan to go to Lauren's was still on. I actually received a text from her during one of my lectures. It turned out that she lived in the exact same apartment building that I did, and was only down the hall from me. How I hadn't noticed her was beyond me, but it made my life a lot easier. And harder at the same time. Easier because it meant that I wouldn't have to take several modes of transport to get there and back, but harder because it meant I had to be more careful with her and Eddie.
I think that due to me only recently moving in to that apartment complex, and having to leave early every morning for Eddie's school, Lauren and I had never crossed paths before. If we didn't meet at university, then we probably would have met at home somehow anyway. It was as if this was all a sign that I was supposed to meet Lauren now, and I didn't know whether to take it as a good sign or a bad sign.
After finishing all my lectures for the day, I met Lauren at her car and she voluntarily drove me to her place. When she found out that we lived literally a few doors down from each other, I don't think I had ever seen her look so happy. Probably because she could see me a lot more often than she thought she could. I don't know, okay? I had absolutely no idea what was going on in that beautiful mind of hers.
"Here we are," she smiled after opening the door to her place. "Welcome to the Jauregui residence."
I stepped inside and noticed that her apartment had a similar layout to mine. Except, it was reversed, so her living room and kitchen were on the right instead of the left. The colour scheme of black and white, and the decorations present, perfectly fitted her personality and I automatically knew that she chose it all.
"Sorry if it's a little messy," she apologised after shutting her front door and picking up a stray jacket from the floor.
"It's okay," I shook my head. "This is practically spotless compared to my place."
She smiled and motioned for me to sit on the couch, so I did. She headed to the kitchen and I waited patiently on her couch, wondering how she had got on these past five years. Obviously well if she was at university and living by herself. But I was still curious to know more about her. She hadn't changed much from what I knew so far, but I wanted to know more.
"Here," she said, breaking me from my thoughts. I looked up and saw her sitting beside me, setting a can of Dr. Pepper on the coffee table before us. "It's still your favourite, right?"
I nodded slowly and couldn't stop myself from smiling no matter how hard I tried. "You remembered?"
After sipping from her own Pepsi can and setting it on the coffee table, she shook her head. "I never forgot."
Not knowing how to react to this, I looked away from her enticing green eyes and grabbed the can, opening it with a 'pop'. As I took a few sips, I heard her speak.
"So what have you been up to these past five years, Y/N? You know about me and Fifth Harmony, but I don't know anything about you."
I shrugged, though I knew that a lot had happened in the past five years. "Not as much as you. I finished school, helped my parents with some things, then came here."
I really hoped that she wouldn't press me any further because I had no idea how I could lie about my life in the past five years. It had changed so much and I couldn't even explain it.
"How are your parents doing? The last time I spoke to them, they were yelling at me for not coming to theirs for dinner," she laughed gently at the memory.
I smiled thinly at the memory of how much my parents loved Lauren. They thought that she was the perfect girlfriend, despite being famous. They probably loved her more than I did, and always wanted to invite her over to our house, but she tended to be too busy. She was always busy back then. Hence the breakup...
"Sorry," she apologised, noticing my momentary absence. "I didn't mean to bring up the past."
I shook my head and looked at her. She was frowning and seemed genuinely sorry for bringing up the wrong thing. "It's okay. And my parents are good. They're doing well. How about yours? How're Chris and Taylor?"
She smiled at the mention of her family, and I remembered how family-orientated she was. I was guessing she still was judging from her sudden change of mannerism. "My parents are doing fine. Chris? He's at university, and Taylor is still in high school. They grew up too fast, Y/N, you don't even know."
I smiled, remembering the other two Jauregui's. I used to love hanging with them when Lauren was on tour. We always used to pull pranks on each other and basically act like siblings ourselves. I had to admit, I missed them, too. And to hear that they had grown up was a little heartbreaking.
"They may have grown up, but they'll always be our little nuggets, right?" I tried to lighten the mood, smiling and nudging Lauren gently in the side.
"Definitely," she smiled, too, and looked exceptionally happy for some odd reason. Not that I'm complaining. When she was happy, it made me happy. Always had, always would.
I sipped my drink and relaxed more into the couch. "So how are the other girls? You said they were doing their own thing now, but do you guys still keep in contact?"
She pulled her legs onto the couch and got comfortable as she spoke. "Well we were in a band together for five, six years, so yeah, we still keep in contact. Since we're all doing our own thing, it's hard to keep up, but we always make time to visit each other every so often. I don't think we'll ever drift apart, to be honest. We're still a family. Just distanced, that's all."
I nodded, believing her. I could tell by the glint in her eyes that she still loved the girls as she always did, and I could also tell that she missed them a lot. But as she said, they were doing their own thing and so learnt to accept the distance and live their life. They couldn't exactly stay together forever, could they?
"Would you like their numbers or something? I'm sure they would love to hear from you again," she offered hopefully.
My eyes widened and I laughed awkwardly. "I don't think so, Lauren. That would be way too awkward. Maybe another time. I mean, I'm still getting used to seeing you again. I'll just take it one step at a time."
She nodded, accepting my word. "As you wish. But if you ever feel ready, just let me know and I'll give them to you."
I nodded and looked away, focusing on the can in my hands. A silence enveloped us for the first time, but surprisingly, it wasn't awkward. It was quite comforting.
"So, are you single?"
I looked up to see her face and she watched me curiously, adding, "I'm not flirting or anything. I just wanted to know..."
I could see that she was telling the truth, so I nodded slowly. "Oh, well, yeah, I'm single."
I saw a glimpse of hope sparkle in her eyes, but she managed to hide it well as she nodded. "Okay..."
Silence filled the air once again, and I couldn't stop thinking about her question. My mouth decided to speak for itself, though, as I blurted out something I probably shouldn't have.
"I haven't been with anyone since you left."
This caught her attention as she looked up from her can and stared at me blankly. "Oh..." I don't think she knew how to respond to that. Eventually though, she spoke. "What do you mean by 'I left'? Last time I checked, it was you who broke up with me and made me leave."
I shrugged it off nonchalantly, though I felt like crap internally. The memory of that night was crystal clear and I already felt the need to cry because of how terrible it was. "It doesn't matter who did what, all I know is that you never came back for me."
She sat up straight and frowned, probably remembering that night, too. "You didn't want me to come back, Y/N."
"How do you know that?" I questioned, feeling my throat close up. "I loved you so much, Lauren. So much. I felt all this pressure because everything was going wrong between us and I thought that ending things would make it right. Maybe if you turned around and came back for me, then I would have known you loved me, too."
By now, a tear had slipped out and I couldn't stop the horrible memories from invading my mind. Not even giving her chance to respond, I shot up from my seat and placed my can on the coffee table.
"This was a terrible mistake," I croaked out. "I want to go."
She stood up and frowned when she saw my expression. "Please don't– I'm sorry, Y/N. I shouldn't have brought it up."
I shook my head and ignored everything she was saying. I pushed past her and ignored her protests, making my way to the door. I shouldn't have come. I only upset myself and was reminded of everything that went wrong in my life. Not saying another word, I let myself out and went to the other end of the hall, where my apartment was. As I searched for my key, I glanced in the direction of Lauren's apartment and saw her door still closed. Of course she wouldn't come after me. It's not like she did it before, so why would she do it now?
I opened my door and stepped inside, immediately shutting the door behind me. As soon as I walked in, I saw Y/BF/N and Eddie sat together on the couch, watching TV. They hadn't noticed me yet, so I did my best to wipe away any tears from my face, and headed towards them. At the sight of me seeing me for the first time since returning from school, Eddie raced towards me and hugged my legs. I couldn't help but smile for real as I kneeled down and pulled him in for a proper hug.
"How was school, love?" I asked him, pulling away from the hug and planting a gentle kiss on his forehead.
He grinned and nodded, about to say something, but his smile soon turned into a frown. "Mummy, what's wrong?"
He placed his small hands on my cheeks and kissed both of them gently, before putting his head in my chest and hugging me again. I hugged him back and closed my eyes, kissing the top of his head.
"Nothing, baby, I'm fine," I lied. I didn't want him to worry or feel bad.
He shook his head and pulled away from my hug, facing me with his big blue eyes. "Please tell me what's wrong. Did someone be mean to you?"
I smiled at his manners. At least I know I raised him well. "I just fell over, Teddy. I'll be fine, don't you worry." I kissed his nose and slowly began to tickle his stomach, causing him to laugh loudly and squirm out of my arms.
"M-mummy, s-stop!" he shouted through his laughter.
I eventually stopped and kissed his cheek. "There I've stopped. Now, what do you say to having Chinese takeaway for dinner, eh?"
He nodded frantically and I couldn't help but laugh. I definitely taught him well if he gets excited about takeaway.
"I'm going to get changed and I'll be back in a bit, okay?" I told him, standing up and holding his hand.
He nodded and I led him to the couch and beside Y/BF/N. The latter accepted him onto the couch and looked up to me with concern.
'You okay?' she mouthed to me, and I nodded, faking a smile.
"I returned a little early because there was a change of plan," I lied. "But, do you want to join us for dinner, or...?"
She nodded, keeping a firm grip on Eddie's waist as he watched the television. "Sure. I'll order the food now if you want."
"Thanks," I nodded, already walking to my bedroom. I couldn't be any more grateful to Y/BF/N, I swear.
When I reached my room, I shut my door and finally felt free to cry. I was alone and so let all the tears escape my eyes. Tonight had failed epically, and only made me realise how much my life had not gone to plan after leaving Lauren. If I never left, where would I be now? Would we still be together? Would Eddie even exist?
I didn't know, and I didn't want to think about it. All I wanted to do was go to sleep, but I couldn't because my son was counting on me and I couldn't let him down. Even if it was Lauren's fault.
//
A bit of tensionnnnnnnnn