Leah woke to the same disorientation that was becoming far too familiar for her liking.
There was no Kieran waiting for her this time, only one of the white-haired guards standing outside the sunlight-flooded room. Their head turned as Leah stirred, the cold still inside her bones. They continued to watch her, impassive as she struggled to sit up.
A piece of hard Light fell out of her fingers, rolling off the bed. Leah heard it hit the floor as her fingers crawled to her shoulder, finding smooth skin. Whatever was causing her injuries to crystalise was clearly doing it to heal her. The only question now was why.
"How long was I out this time?" she asked the guard. Why she had a guard she wasn't sure, but she could at least try to get information out of them.
"Three days," answered the guard in an undoubtedly female voice.
Leah absorbed that information as the rest of her memories settled inside her head. "And what about Kieran?"
"The Lightless has been cured."
That took Leah by surprise. "Cured? What do you mean cured?"
"I understand that you have been unconscious for an extended period of time, but this is not a hard concept," said the guard. "The Lightless has been cured. He is no longer Lightless. He is Radiant once again."
The insult wasn't enough to stop the flicker in Leah's heart. "Can I see him?"
"No."
"Why not?" said Leah. "If he's cured, then--"
The guard looked away. "I suggest you remain on that bed until Asriel or someone else of importance has the time to answer your questions."
Leah knew she'd been dismissed. She was tempted to ignore the fact, but the edge to the guard's voice warned her off. There was something else to this situation. She wasn't free to go--the guard's presence alone indicated that. So then, why?
She didn't have the answer, and she didn't know enough to guess. She'd made that mistake before, rushing in to Kieran's defense without evidence to back up her facts, and it'd only made the situation worse. Good intentions were one thing. Resolve to act on them was another. Neither mattered if she didn't know why things were happening, if she didn't understand the situation before she tried to change it.
For an hour, Leah sat in the corner of her bed. The strength slowly came back to her muscles as they woke up with her brain. When they stopped trembling, she started playing with her orb.
It acted a lot like her Light, which it liked, flashing each time she drew Light around it. It reacted to her requests. Sort of. It seemed to be learning with her. At first, it was reluctant to be touched, but eventually she coaxed it into her hand. Her skin burned where it rested, but it wasn't painful. Rather it was like the jolt that ran down her arm when she used a Displacer, only amplified several times over.
She'd just figured out how to make it flash when Asriel arrived.
The guard inclined her head as Asriel passed and approached Leah's bed.
"I'm glad to see you're awake, Leah," said Asriel. "I've been checking on you where possible. I assume you're healed?"
Leah didn't see the point of asking the question. Her shoulder was in plain sight. "I think so. Can I see Kieran?"
Asriel touched the side of a curled finger to his lips before answering. "That is a possibility, yes. But as I assume Iyarin mentioned, we have performed the Enlightening ritual on Kieran as means of a cure for the parasite, and he may still be recovering. It is a great ordeal to have the parasite removed from your body after three years."
"I understand," said Leah, tentatively accepting Asriel's hand to stand off the bed. "Can I ask why Iyarin was posted outside my room? I'm not sure I feel entirely safe."
"Iyarin is a here under Emrys's orders," said Asriel quietly. "And believe me, there is no one else you'd be safer with. Iyarin is one of the five Slayers, warriors of the League who possess an extraordinary command over Light. They are dedicated to exterminating the Lightless forever."
Slayers. Leah committed that term to mind while noting how unhappy Iyarin seemed to be about finding herself on guard duty.
Iyarin followed Leah and Asriel through the League. Surprisingly, Asriel didn't lead her to the military wing, nor somewhere else in the medical wing. It was the research lab she soon found herself in, changing into the strange, shimmering research suits and entering the shadowless room.
"We believe the cure was successful," said Asriel as they moved through the research lab. "But as a precaution, we are keeping a twenty-four hour watch on Kieran until we are sure the parasite has been removed in its entirety. So far, it looks promising. The ritual you uncovered was truly the final piece we needed, even if the process is far from efficient. It'll be something that we work on streamlining once we're confident in our method."
Leah glanced around the room. She recognised Emrys, Illiya and a few others among the thirty or so Radiants, but none of them seemed to have an orb. "Did you manage to find a way to dismiss the orb after you'd used it?"
"The orb was not a necessary part of the ritual, as it turns out," said Asriel. "It was the layout and particular positioning of crystals and other instruments to refract the Light of the Spire that was key to it all. We believe the orb has another purpose, one Emrys is keen to discover."
The uneasy feeling twisted a little deeper into Leah's stomach.
It tightened as soon as she saw Kieran.
He was on the other side of a transparent crystalite wall, sitting on some cushions in the corner, completely absorbed with a book. His face was the same, the research robes he wore irrelevant, and Leah's eyes kept settling back on his hair. No longer was it a dark brown tipped in blues. Every drop of colour had been bleached from it leaving it a pure, snowy white.
Leah blanched.
Asriel, after a quick word with Emrys, moved to open the door. With the crystal lit, the door slid aside, and at the noise, Kieran glanced up.
"You may enter," said Asriel. "We'll keep a close eye on things, don't worry."
Leah almost didn't have the courage to step forward. Flashbacks of Sef kept playing through her head. If she heard that same silky, strange voice that'd come from Sef's mouth come out of Kieran's, she didn't know what she'd do.
But as Kieran dropped the book and got to his feet with those graceful movements she'd come to expect from him, Leah couldn't stop herself. She ran through the door, nearly falling in those final few steps trying to slow herself enough to not crash into him.
"Leah," he said, one word that made her heart sing. It was the same, the same as it'd been in the darkness of the chamber or the training grounds, yet it had a... calmer edge to it. Like he'd found peace. "You're awake."
"Um, yea," said Leah. What did she say? How long did they leave you in the dark? What did they mean by a cure? Are you still you? "How... how are you feeling?"
His smile was unrestrained, stretching across his face. It was almost enough to make her forget about his hair. "I feel amazing. I've never felt like this, Leah--not even before I turned Lightless. It's like the ritual completely cleansed my being."
Leah couldn't help her own smile. Maybe she was overreacting about the colour of his hair. It wasn't unheard of for Radiants with an extraordinary mastery over Light to have white hair. Perhaps the ritual worked in a similar way. "That's good to hear."
Boldly, Kieran stepped forward, narrowing the distance between them. Leah's chest fluttered. "I feel like I'm clean now. Before..." He exhaled, taking her hand gently between his. She let him. "Before, I was tainted. Even if I didn't think it mattered consciously, it did. As a Lightless, I wasn't worthy of you, but now--now I'd like to do this."
And with that, Kieran leaned in and kissed her.
He seemed oblivious to the fact that the others were watching. When Leah hesitated, he drew her in, holding her against him, one hand on her hip, the other curled around her fingers. Warmth spread across her skin everywhere his fingers brushed. Her thoughts were in chaos when he pulled away an eternity later.
Leah was... she didn't know what she was. She was warm. She felt alive. Her nerves were prickling, her stomach twisting and aching for him to lean in again because she wasn't brave enough to do it herself.
But as Kieran pressed his lips to her forehead, one thought, one question kept surfacing.
Why did this feel... wrong?
"Leah," he murmured against her hairline. Everything that had come with the shock of Kieran's kiss froze over as her skin prickled and her bones went cold. "Some might say that you're a gift from the spirits themselves."
That sentence was strange enough for her to break out of her trance and look him straight in the eyes. "Kieran, I--"
The slightest frown crossed his face, like it was a great effort just to speak. "The spirits. Just remember. Sometimes spirits are what we should be remembering, even if you go back to Teridia."
With a final squeeze of her hand, he let her go.
Kieran's frown disappeared as he rubbed his forehead and gave her a tired smile. "You'll come back, won't you?"
"Of course," she said softly. Carefully.
Kieran nodded. Leah stood there, watching as Kieran returned to his corner and sank down against the wall. He left the book where it was, and after one final glance in her direction, closed his eyes.
Asriel called her, but Leah couldn't make herself move. Her chill was gone, but there was something tickling the back of her mind, some vague memory that made sense of Kieran's words. Something she'd forgotten.
"Come on, Leah," said Illiya gently, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to lead her off. "His body is still recovering from what the parasite did to it, so he burns out pretty quickly." Then, in a whisper, "He'll get his stamina back though, don't you worry."
Leah gave her a look as the door closed behind them, once again sealing Kieran inside. She kept going back to the kiss, wondering if that's what it was supposed to be like. It wasn't like she had any prior experience. None of the Teridian boys had an interest in a Radiant back home, and she'd never really got past the scales.
"Well," said Asriel, an odd note in his voice. "That was definitely unexpected. I didn't realise you two were so attached."
Leah blushed. "I, um--"
Asriel held up a hand. "It's quite all right, Leah. What we've learned from the Lightless is that, despite the parasite, much of their Radiant personality is still dominant while they are infected. Though he may have been influenced by the parasite, Kieran has a strong will. He may seem a little different in a few ways, but much of what you know of him will remain true now that he's cured."
Illiya gave Leah a knowing grin. "He might have been a jerk before, but given the circumstances, I feel that's excusable. Especially now he's Radiant again--he's really not hard on the eyes, is he, Leah?"
Leah's cheeks were burning by the time Emrys approached. Instinctively, Leah found herself drawing away from him, hoping desperately that he hadn't seen the kiss. If he had, he acted no different for it.
"Leah," he said, inclining his head. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine," said Leah quickly.
Emrys nodded. "Would you feel up to the task of beginning the study of your orb? As I assume Asriel told you, it was not necessary in the ritual, and I am most interested in finding out its purpose."
"As you wish, Emrys."
Leah was led to a corner where Emrys began his questions. They were the same as before--if she remembered anything more about its appearance, if she'd discovered anything else about it, but Leah couldn't stop glancing at Kieran. She found herself flinching from Emrys every time he reached out, knowing that he'd risked letting her Shatter to get at Kieran. Whether it'd worked out or not in the end, any trust in Emrys, the idolisation--it was all gone.
Her mind drifted back to the darkness. Her freezing bones. Kieran pulling her in, his arms around her. She'd felt so safe inside of them, completely at ease. Maybe it was the fact that she'd been effectively dying. Maybe it was her memory playing tricks on her--but that kiss hadn't been the same. It didn't feel like Kieran.
Emrys kept asking questions, but it felt like an interrogation. He constantly re-phrased, like he was trying to catch her out on the details. With nothing to hide, Leah wasn't worried about being caught. Even so, she couldn't work out his angle.
Eventually, Emrys closed his notebook. "I can see that you're still tired, so we'll call it a day." He sighed. "I apologise for any stress or otherwise ill feelings my decision at the trial may have caused you. I saw that Kieran cared enough for you to risk his own safety. In the case of a Lightless, many have attachments or emotions stronger than anything the parasite can overcome, and we can use that to establish co-operation with them. You cared enough for Kieran to speak up for him at the trial, even if it was with the misguided logic you'd reasoned his actions with, and I thought that, despite not having discussed it prior, you would have agreed with my course of action. I fear now that is not the case, and I apologise for that."
Leah's fingers curled into her palm. So she had been a trap.
"I have the phobia," she managed to get out after a few, steadying breaths. She needed him to know, even if it was just so he didn't seem so damned pitying, like she was some breakable thing to sit on a shelf. "I don't know if you experience it yourself, but I ask that you take that into consideration next time."
Emrys gave her a strange look. "It's a common phobia, Leah. Nothing to be ashamed of. I have it myself."
Leah stood up, wiping her eyes with the heel of her hand. "Then you will excuse me if it takes me a few days to forget that you placed me in a nightmare. If you'll excuse me, Emrys."
She walked away before he could stop her, though he seemed to have no intention of doing so. Leah made it to the change rooms, changing back into the white robe before knowing she needed to change out of it as soon as possible. It was clinging to her sides just tight enough to have her gasping for air.
She knew it was her mind, but it was dragging her down. Back into the cesspit of memories where the shadows closed in on her and the walls were shrinking back into the chamber where this time, she was alone. Where she didn't have Kieran. Didn't have Shade. Didn't have a lifeline to pull her back out.
The Slayer, Iyarin, was waiting for her outside. "Where are--"
Leah tugged the robe away from her throat, keeping her eyes fixed on the puddles of afternoon sunlight stretched across the floor. "I need to get out of this thing."
She made it to her room. She closed the door. She stripped off the robe in record time and stood there in her undergarments for a long minute, allowing herself to breathe before she pulled on her oldest pair of leggings and its matching tunic. The same ones her father had given her three years ago. She found a quiet comfort in their well-worn softness, sitting on her bed and hugging her arms around her.
She should have been happy. She'd found the ritual room. The League had used it to cure a Lightless--Kieran, nonetheless. The taste of him still lingered on her lips. Leah brushed her fingers against them, re-living it over and over again, always getting stuck on the strange thing he'd said after. What had he called her? A gift from the spirits? She was pretty sure she'd never heard Kieran use that word ever in her time with him, not even if she included his time as Shade.
Wait--no.
That wasn't right. She'd heard him use it before as Shade. When they'd found the Spire room for the first time. When he'd gone on ahead to check for danger, and he'd told her--oh, sunlight.
Spirits was the code word.
Remember, he'd said today. He'd been trying to tell her to run. To leave him behind, to go back to Teridia.
Kieran was warning her.
Leah bolted upright, practically falling on her desk as she opened one notebook after another, desperately hoping that Emrys's people had left the one she needed right now. One after another, they opened up empty. Empty. Empty. Empty. Anything with something of substance inside it was gone, including the one with her notes and various theories on the parasite.
She planted her palms on the desk, trying to think.
They claimed the parasite was gone. So if Kieran was warning her in code, then what did that mean? That one of them was lying? That there was something else in play? She pushed the parasite out of her mind. That was all theory. She only had one piece of evidence that she could rely on.
Sef's hair had turned white right before that voice had Shattered him.
She had so many questions. So many questions and not enough information to answer them with. She didn't know who she could trust. For all she knew, Emrys was working with the voice. Emrys could be the voice. It might explain his interest in her orb. Maybe it'd protected her from it, somehow.
It didn't matter. Orb or no orb, she wasn't going to run. Whatever the reason the voice had wanted her to find the room, it'd picked the wrong Radiant if it thought it could have Kieran straight after Sef.
Leah sat down and started writing the thoughts out of her head, starting from a random place in the middle of the notebook.
Parasites, rituals, Emrys and Light itself be damned.
She was going to figure this out if it killed her.
*+*+*+*
A/N - Happy new years, guys! Hope 2016 turns out to be amazing for you all <3
Also as a side note, from this point on, I have 95% of the ending planned out. Hopefully it works. There might be minor inconsistencies with details up to this point, but I think most of the stuff will line up. If there's a huge plothole or something that doesn't make sense when things get revealed, pleeeeease point it out because I might have missed it >_<
But yup! Please vote and comment, see if we can break the #20 ranking to start off 2016? ^_~