11:10 AM Research Question: Is there a warm and fuzzy way to dump a boyfriend?
Madison and I were supposed to go swimming at the lake. We'd made plans for it days ago, when we were at the mall. Of course, that was before I gave up on finding a new bathing suit. And before I gave up on resisting Dave. It was before Madison gave up on resisting Dave too.
I didn't know what to say when she suggested inviting him along. I wanted to see him. Sure. But did I want to see him pretend to be with her? Would he still pretend to be with her? And what if he was not pretending?
He was. He had to be. But that road led directly to another problem. Because, you see, in the process of realizing that I want to be with Dave Brown, that I need to be with Dave Brown, I had been less than honest with my best friend. I had even, perhaps, led her into a situation which might cause her pain.
P.S. What kind of monster am I?
Dave declined Madison's invitation. At first I was relieved. But then I started thinking. (Trust me, not a good idea.) Brady was coming home. Wouldn't Dave want to see me while he still had a chance? Did he really intend to not talk to me until/unless I broke up with Brady? Was I really going to do it?
4:38 PM Here's what you had to say:
From the GRRRLS~
ittybittykitty: She could go the buddy route. You know, have her friend tell his friend. It seems kind of middle school-ish when I type it, but at least she wouldn't have to look at him when she does it.
paperkut_cutie: How about a letter? A guy did that for me once. In it, he told me how cool I was and what an idiot he must be for breaking up with me. It still hurt but when I think about it now, it wasn't so bad.
pandamaniac: I give my ex's a gift when I dump 'em. The last guy got a video game. He was so excited about it that he barely hung around for the tearful good-bye scene.
flowrgrrl: Wow. Are you really going to do this?
herbestfriend: I can't believe you won't tell me who this is. I could help if you'd just give me DETAILS. C'mon, Summer, what are best friends for?
I responded:
dear itty, Employing a buddy is very tempting but don't you think the boyfriend deserves a face to face?
dear paperkut_cutie, I like the idea of a letter but again, I think the girl owes it to the guy to let him see her squirm. Don't you?
dear pandamaniac, I think you're on to something with the gift idea. lmao.
dear flowrgrrl: Who are you?
dear her(my)bestfriend, I wish I could tell you, Madison. P.S. I'd never do anything to hurt you on purpose.
And the BOYZ:
murderator writes: Sometimes the end of a relationship isn't anybody's fault. She should tell him that -- in person. Phone/text/buddy break ups suck.
sergio writes: Short and sweet.
SK84U writes: Just rip his heart right out and hand it to him. That's the way girls usually do it, isn't it?
I responded:
dear murderator, Is this really you? It's so adorable. I promise, no phone/no text/no buddy.
dear sergio, Easier said than done.
dear SK84U, Yes. That is the way we usually do it. In this case, the girl is willing to make an exception.
An icon flashed at the bottom of the computer screen. CRAIG!
craig: Jeez, Summer, I've only been gone a few days and the whole world falls apart. Do you miss me?
me: More than words can say.
craig: It's nice here. Brady would love it. All fishing/all the time gets dull though. Even the parents are squirmy. My mom still won't let us have our phones but at least she finally drove us to a town. I'm at a library and I only have 15 minutes on the computer. I spent most of it reading your blog -- or are you still trying to call it a *smirk* website?
me: What am I going to do?
craig: Simple. Put together a real website before your mother figures out you've been blogging all summer.
me: Not about that ...
craig: Arrgh. Time's up. Be home soon. Pinky swear.
dear, dear cheddarbob, Soon can't come quick enough.
Swimming was okay. Madison and I ran into a few boys we know. Andrew was there. He asked me if the rumors were true – if Brady and I were really breaking up?
I didn't know how to answer, so I just stammered and changed the subject. I mean, how does this stuff get around so fast? Even I'm not sure what will happen when Brady comes home. How can our demise already be front page news?
I hung back after that, soaking in the sun and watching Madison shine in the reflection of all those guys. The best thing to do might be nothing. Go back to the Secret Plan = get Madison away from Jacob. Like my dad says: let the pieces fall where they may between her and Dave. Retreat to my so-called-life with Brady.
Andrew ran up to give me his number as we were leaving. Imagine that. Note to Self: The very last thing you need is another boy to consider so DO NOT imagine that.
I still hadn't heard from Dave. He wasn't at the coffee shop or the Burger Barn. Ditto the library. There were a few kids hanging out at the park, a few more still down on the beach. Just not him. If only Lily and her group of gossip geese weren't out in full force, that might have been okay. But everywhere I went, a buzz followed -- > Dave and Summer -- > bzzz bzzzzzzz -- > Summer and Dave. How's a girl supposed to let the pieces fall where they may with all that going on?
Maybe I could call him. I scrolled down the list of numbers on my cell phone. Madison, Mom, Brady, Mom, Mom, Madison, Tim. Why oh why did I delete his number? Madison would know how to get a hold of him; I was sure of that. But I couldn't exactly go there either, could I? It would only make things worse when the truth finally came out. And what was the truth anyway?
Truth: A month ago Dave Brown was an annoyance, a person to be avoided at all costs. So why did I feel so lost without him now?
I decided to stroll over to Madison's. Once I got there I could either: A. Admit to being a horrible friend, confess my indiscretions with Dave and beg for her forgiveness. Or B. Sneak a peek at her personal phone book, call Dave, spend the evening digging myself a deeper but far more delectable grave.
To be determined upon arrival.
Except, when I got to Madison's, Craig's dog, Daisy, was tied to the tree in her front yard. Except, her door was open and I could hear giggling of both the male and female variety inside. Except, for the first time in days, my heart did that thing where my blood rushed to my ears and I knew that if I didn't run away, right then, I might die right on my possibly former best friend's front porch.
6:15 PM Ugh. I am an idiot. What was I thinking?
6:22 PM I know what I was thinking. I was thinking that maybe there was something ... more ... to love than having a boy you could point to and say, "See that cutie over there? He's mine." I was thinking maybe a relationship could go deeper. That two people might actually be interested in what each other had to say. That maybe there was some truth in that whole stupid soul mate theory.
That maybe I was meant for him and he was meant for me.
Yeah. Right.
And then he knocked on my door.
<3