"So, this is going to be your home until your parents turn up or you remember something." Derek said, opening the door to his apartment and beckoning for Matthew to follow him in. He took a few steps in and looked around.
"It looks like a nice place, Officer Derek Dawson." Matthew smiled.
"Please, call me Derek."
"Okay, Derek."
"Sit down; I want to talk to you." Derek said, collapsing into an old green sofa. Matthew sat next to him, and looked at his new guardian.
"What would you like to know?" The child said.
"Where do you live?" He had the notepad from earlier in his hand now, but a different pen.
"I am not sure. The first thing I remember is Darren, and his beard." Matthew decided that memory was a strange thing, and as he remembered Darren, it was almost as if he were living through the experience again.
"Excuse me, excuse me, are you okay? Are you hurt?"
"Right. We've got ourselves into a sticky situation haven't we?"
"I don't think I was here before then." Matthew suddenly frowned and this caught Derek off guard. He leant forward from where he was reclining.
"I don't understand what you are saying."
"Everything on this planet seems very new to me, as if it wasn't part of my life before." Matthew answered, and Derek wrote on his notepad.
Worse case of amnesia than previously anticipated.
Possible dissociation?
"Please may I go to bed? I am very tired."
"Sure" Derek said, leading him into the spare room which was to be Matthew's room for next however long he was here.
Matthew lay awake that night thinking about everything that had happened to him that day. Where was he, where had he come from and most importantly, who was he? He didn't have any recollection of anything before the crash; he didn't even remember being on the plane in the first place. Where had he been coming from? Where was he going? What was going to happen to him now? Derek seemed like a nice person, but he didn't know whether he was actually nice enough to be trusted. He felt very alone, and he was worried, but before he could think about which way to go, he fell asleep with a single tear in each eye.
What woke Matthew the next morning, was the sound of birds singing outside his bedroom window. He slid out of bed and went to the windows, peeking through the curtains at the small but neatly laid out garden that Derek owned. He didn't see any birds but he saw cars driving up the main road beyond the back fence of the garden. They were all different colours and Matthew found
that very exciting for some reason. He turned around to see the police officer standing in his doorway.
"Did you sleep well last night?" Matthew was asked.
"Yes, I did thank you." He replied, and left the windowsill to face Derek.
"What do you want for breakfast?" The adult asked. Matthew shrugged, and merely followed his guardian into the kitchen to eat whatever he was given.
"What is going to happen today?"
"Well today, I'm going to take you to see someone who might be able to help you remember who you are and where you came from."
"That sounds good." Matthew said, looking at the clock. It wasn't round like he expected it to be, it was triangular and didn't have numbers on it, and it was missing a hand.
"We have to go soon, are you ready? I know you haven't brushed your teeth yet but they still haven't found your luggage from the plane so you'll have to go without brushing your teeth this morning.
"Okay. I am ready." Matthew said, moving his gaze down to the clothes he was wearing. As his luggage hadn't turned up, he was forced to sleep in his clothes and now they were scrunched up from sleep and they felt strange on his skin.
"Good boy."
They got to the hospital and Derek spoke to the receptionist, telling her that he had booked an emergency appointment with a 'child psychiatrist' for a boy named Matthew, and she smiled at them both and told them to take a seat.
"What is the 'psychiatrist' going to do to me?" Matthew asked.
"She won't hurt you; she's going to ask you some questions."
"But I do not know anything. Is it like a test? Was I supposed to revise for this?" Matthew became nervous and he began to shake slightly in his chair. Derek frowned in concern but didn't know whether touching this boy would be the best move to make.
"There's no right or wrong answer. Just be completely honest with her. She's just trying to help you remember." Then, a woman wearing a white dress with blue bird patterns sewed elegantly at the bottom and on the sleeves entered the waiting room and looked down at Matthew sitting in the chair.
"Matthew? Do you want to come into my room now? Do you want your dad to come with you?" She asked, looking at Derek. Derek cringed but didn't say anything.
"I do not mind. Derek, do you want to come with me?" Matthew looked at Derek and wondered why the woman had called him his dad. Derek shook his head and said something about buying potatoes for tonight's dinner. He had been given special leave from work for Matthew's case so he was not required in. He nodded at the psychiatrist and told her he would be back in an hour.
"Take a seat Matthew." The psychiatrist said, pointing to a well-cushioned seat. He noticed that it was not unlike Derek's old green sofa.
"Thank you." He said.
"So Matthew, do you know why you are here?" She said, but he did not answer her question.
"Who are you?" He said instead, staring at her eyebrows that looked to him like they were definitely not natural.
"Oh, how rude of me, I didn't introduce myself. My apologies, my name is Dr McColl, I'm a child psychiatrist."
"Hello, Dr McColl." Matthew said, resting his hands on his laps.
"Do you know why you are sitting here with me today?" She asked, and the meeting began.
"Not really. Apparently I forgot everything, but I feel like everything is new to me. It's like a
completely new sheet has been pulled out of a pack of brand new white paper and I've fallen onto it." Matthew watched as the psychiatrist made notes on her clipboard.
"How do you feel? Tell me a little more about yourself." Dr McColl said, leaning forward to her patient.
"I feel fresh, but I also feel empty, as though nothing's ever been through me before. I am as much of a stranger to myself as I am to anyone else. I do not know anything about myself, I am ready to explore."
"I have a plan; do you want to give it a go?" Dr McColl said, and Matthew nodded enthusiastically. She left the room and came back a few moments later holding three pencils and 5 pieces of plain paper. She put them down on the coffee table in front of Matthew.
"Draw me the first thing that comes into your head."
"Will you draw something too? I'd like to see a drawing."
"Okay, I will draw something too." Dr McColl said, picking up a brown pencil and carefully placing a smile on her face for Matthew to see. He beamed back and looked at the two remaining pencils. The pencils were named Red and Blue. The first thing that came into his head was Darren. He picked up the blue pencil and drew the outline of Darren's face and his concerned eyes and his arm stretched out to help him. For the next half an hour or so, the two drew together in silence, and Dr McColl occasionally lifted her head to take a peep at Matthew's drawing. He picked up the red pencil and looked at its sharp edge.
"This could be dangerous. Why are pencils sharp?" He asked, but he wasn't expecting an answer. As soon as the question was out in the open, he lowered his head and began drawing the bush on Darren's face.
"Darren has a beard." Matthew said to himself.
"Who's Darren?" Dr McColl asked him.
"He's the first thing that ever came into my head. He was there when I first woke up." He finished his drawing and turned the sheet around for Dr McColl to see it. She picked it up and brought it closer to her face. She immediately noticed that his drawing skills were outstanding, she had never seen a 12 year –old draw something so accurately.
"This is very interesting. Thank you for drawing it for me." Dr McColl said, leaning back in her chair.
"Can I see your drawing now?" Matthew asked, sucking his lips innocently.
"Oh yes of course, here you go. See if you can guess what it is." She handed him the piece of paper and leaned back again in her chair to observe his drawing. He must have had a very vivid memory of the first thing he saw when he woke up; otherwise he wouldn't have been able to go into so much detail. The event must have struck him quite hard.
"It's an angel, isn't it Dr McColl, because I haven't seen any humans with wings yet. Why do they all have pale skin? She's watching over a town isn't she? She's making sure that nothing comes to harm. They're in a graveyard." Matthew said, looking up at the doctor, who made a mental note to ask him who 'they' were.
"They're in a graveyard and they're mourning over the loss of someone, someone new. It was a baby wasn't it doctor? Why did you draw a picture of an angel watching over a town and a graveyard with a dead baby?" Matthew set the picture down on the table and looked at the adult as if it were he who was trying to help her, and not the other way around.
"I didn't, Matthew, there is only an angel and the town she is guarding." She said, trying to stay calm.
"You're angry with the angel aren't you? She didn't protect the baby, so it died. What happened to the baby?" Matthew stood up and took a few extra steps closer to the lady.
"Sit down please Matthew." She said, holding back a feeling that flickered between anger and fear.
"I'm right am I not?" Matthew said. Dr McColl took a deep breath and looked through the window. How did he know the true meaning of the picture that was intended? Any normal human would have looked at it and seen hope and protection, but Matthew saw the other side. She held a lump in her throat from trying not to remember her daughter, and she smiled.
"It was very nice of you to draw that picture for me. Can I keep it?" She asked.
"Yes, you may keep it." Matthew said, and as he scanned her facial expression he knew he was right. He saw yearning and sorrow, but he didn't know how to help her, so he went along with the change in topic.
"How are you feeling now Matthew?" She asked, placing her hands lightly into her laps.
"I am feeling well." He replied.
"Is there anything you want to tell me?"
"No. I have nothing to say that is of importance." He blinked once.
"Very well then Matthew, I shall see you again soon." She opened the door for him and led him back into the waiting area, where Derek was waiting for him with a small sack of potatoes. He blushed when they approached.
"Are you ready to go home little fellow?" He smiled, trying to hide his embarrassment.
"Yes. Let us go home." Matthew replied.