hey babies, I'm studying and listening to music while i write this so i thought i'd write down some of the songs that remind of the story? They're not perfectly fitting but hey.
I wanna get better - Bleachers
We'll be a dream - We the Kings
Spectacular rival - George Ezra
____________________________________________________
LIVVY'S POV
The short haired girl hands me my glass and I extend my arm to hand her a tenner, just to have my hand pushed back down.
"It's on me," Harry says to the girl and I roll my eyes taking my drink.
I really really want to get drunk, and since Zayn's here being an idiot, I want it more. I sip out my glass and lean back on one of the high stalls.
"Has he gone?" I ask Harry scanning the club behind him.
"No, he's sitting were he was before," he says while getting himself a drink.
I wipe my cheek with the back of my hand, making sure I get rid of any tear and not my make up.
"I can't believe he embarrassed me like this, it's just ridiculous, it's just him in this world, everything evolves around him," I grunt frustrated taking a sip out of my glass.
"He didn't know it was your boss Livvy..." Harry mumbles, leaning his arm on the bar to turn to me.
"Oh, so it would've been fine if it happened to be a friend or a cousin or anyone? Which is exactly what it'd been if he wasn't my boss!" I growl shaking my head. "I can't believe you're defending him."
"I know how his head works, Livvy," he tells me as if it were obvious. "He's trying to get his head round this whole dating thing again," he says in a quieter voice.
I frown and leave my drink on the bar, watching Zayn walk across the club and disappear between the people.
"Where's he going? Why's he walking like that?!" I turn to Harry furious.
I swear if he tried to fight Pep...
"I don't know, he must've bumped into something, he's a bit drunk," he brushes off and turns my stall so it faces him.
I'm staring into his emerald eyes wondering what is it that makes Harry stay by Zayn's side. Zayn treats everyone poorly, except for his family, but Harry isn't included there, he treats Harry so so so bad, yet here he is.
I wonder if he really cares how I am or if Zayn just forced him to keep an eye on me.
"What?" he asks confused.
I'm so pissed at him and everyone right now. Why doesn't anything go right?
I know I'm glaring at Harry but I can't stop, I feel if I squint my eyes enough everyone will disappear and leave me be.
I take my glass again and drink up, turning back towards the people, just so I don't have Harry's eyes digging into mine.
"Was he like this with Davina?" I ask lost in my own thoughts.
"No," Harry says with a confused voice. "I wouldn't mention Davina, Livvs," he turns my stall again and shakes his head. "Everything was worse with her, okay? Zayn was someone else back then," he's being really serious now, there's something stopping me from taking my eyes away from his.
"I thought she used him?" I ask confused, gripping my glass.
Was Zayn the one using her then?
"It was a toxic relationship, no one was better or worse, just don't think about that," he shakes his head and looks down at my hands. "The past is gone for a reason, you don't need to bring it back. Don't make Zayn talk about it too much,yeah?"
His voice gives me chills, I'm pretty sure he thinks Zayn as told me something at all. I only know of the existance of an ex girlfriend, but that's it. What's so bad about the past?
"Talking about the past isn't that bad?" I frown confused.
I'd hate to talk about Michael or when my parents passed away, but it's still something that's part of me and my story, you don't just ignore the past.
Why is he being so serious about Zayn's? Even his traumatic experience is worth telling me, I know he doesn't regret telling me about his childhood, so what is this about?
Doesn't sum up.
"You know how he is, I bet he wasn't dandy when he told you, huh?" He smiles with his usual dimples.
"No..." Why am I pretending I know what he's going on about?
Oh yes, cause I'm a nosey little shit hoping to find out what's so mysterious about Zayn.
"Did you get along with Davina?" I ask him out of the blue.
I can't think of any questions to make as if I know the story of this girl.
Fuck, I really despise the idea of Zayn being with someone else.
He shrugs and then thinks about it for a while. "She was a beautiful girl, angelic I'd say, like a porcelain doll," his eyes are all wandery and I can't help to feel a bit jealous. "She didn't speak much, but she didn't need to I guess," he whispers.
"Are you in love or something?" I frown annoyed at the description.
"No," he chuckles and shakes his head. "If you'd seen her you'd know what I'm going on about." He shrugs.
"Why are you talking in the past?" I frown crossing my arms over my chest.
"Don't know really," he shrugs again and sips out of his glass. "She changed, her personality and managed to change how everyone sees her," he tells me and I nod slowly.
Ugly personality usually makes people worse physically.
I still don't get what's so bad about talking about this girl with Zayn.
I hadn't given it much thought when he told me about her the first time. I'd obviously wanted to hear more about their relationship and how it ended, definitely when I realised that girl is the odd reason why Doniya hates me, but now that Harry's tiptoeing around the subject I need to know what went on back then.
Harry hinted it has something to do with how Zayn is with me, and that's why I believe I have the right to know, right? Or maybe not, I don't know.
I don't care.
I finish my drink and clash it against the bar behind me.
"You're going a bit too quick there, aren't you?" Harry snickers next to me and I glare at him.
"Definitely not, and I want to dance, so join me or stay here," I warn him before getting up my stall and walking towards the crowd.
I automatically feel the warmth of bodies around me and hear in my ear Harry's voice singing the words to the song that's playing. I turn around and he starts dancing like a madman with his eyes closed. I can't help the chuckle and I join him allowing the alcohol to take control of me.
*
Dancing with Harry was exhausting. It wasn't just dancing, I had to fight against people by pushing them away with my arse or elbows.
It started with a couple girls, one after the other, they were both desperate for Harry's attention. The first girl literally pushed me out the way to start rubbing herself against him, which he didn't seem bothered by. I was too aware of everything to do anything about it, I just stood there astonished. As far as she knew I could've been his girlfriend. A while after, Harry got fed up of her and took my hand to move us to somewhere else. This other girl appeared, and I wasn't willing to stand alone again, so when she tried and casually step between me and Harry, I casually pushed her away with my bum.
I could feel another girl doing the same from behind me, but she actually hurt me, so I went to a dancing elbow near her ribs, which she didn't enjoy too much, but Harry's 'Sorry babe', was enough to keep her quiet.
I saw a big hand on Harry's waist and he suddenly turned his back to me. I frowned leaning my hands on my hips and saw a tall blonde guy standing opposite him, approaching his body to Harry's. He was big, his shoulders were so wide I'd want to join them, so I thought there was no way I could push this guy away and I could see Harry wasn't doing anything to stop it either.
I looked around and walked towards the bar, leaning on one of the tall stalls and sighing.
I never realise how much my heels hurt when I'm drunk until I get to sit down for a bit.
"You have to be the only pretty girl here with no bodyguards around her," a unknown boy says from my side. He's probably my age, just has a young face.
I'm pretty sure I could get a free drink out of this one. I smile to myself and turn in my stall to face him in the one he's just sat on.
"I can take care of myself," I tell him in a low voice.
I really can't, but people say that. I've seen films were they do anyway.
"So you're obviously not a daddy's girl, right?" He smiles drinking out of his glass.
My cheeks blush and I stare at him completely frozen. What on earth did he just say?
"I'm here with my dad, so don't feel ashamed if you are too, I just assumed you wouldn't because of the lack of security," he shrugs leaning on the bar.
I shake my head, understanding what he was getting at and slightly laugh at the ridiculousness of this.
I honestly thought he was talking about Zayn there. Him and his kinkiness... I really don't like the daddy either that much anymore, it's kinda worn off.
"Nope, I'm here with..." I frown concentrating on the crowd and point at a bunch of hair next to the blonde tall guy I saw before. "Him."
"Styles?" He asks surprised, recognising him straight away.
I nod and sigh watching Harry dance.
"Did he leave you alone to dance with that guy?" He asks raising his eyebrow. "I mean I've never found a guy to fall for, but I doubt I'd choose one over you," he says shaking his head.
I laugh stupidly, like a drunk teenager, all blushed an pushing my hair to one side.
He grins and winks an eye at me, but his face stops automatically and he stands to his feet, extending his hand to my side. I frown watching his strange behaviour and move to the side, hoping he won't touch me in his robotic mode.
He nods his head. "Good evening, Sir," he says making sure he's heard over the music.
His hand is held by someone else and I stand up, recognizing the silver rings against the tanned skin.
"I wasn't expecting you somewhere like this, Styles never said," the boy tells Zayn and I stand between them, the bar stopping me from walking further back.
"He didn't know I'd drop by, Olivia here is better company than me," he tells the boy in a monotone voice.
He doesn't mean it as a compliment, he's just reminding the boy of his power. The power he has over everything and everyone.
"Olivia, huh?" The boy smiles at me playfully, instantly forgetting Zayn's in front of him.
I offer him my hand and take the chance to push Zayn back with my elbow. The young boy takes it and kisses my skin, his lips softer than I expected.
"Can I get you a drink, Olivia?" he asks me, slightly moving his head.
"I'll take care of that," Zayn says. No, he warns, I can hear it in his deep voice.
The boy's eyes look up at Zayn, he squints them and I can tell he's biting his tongue to say something.
"Go on," Zayn pats the boy's back, making him stand up immediately and leaving me alone with the dark shadow I sleep.
I turn on the stall and cross my arms over the surface in front of me. I can feel Zayn taking the boy's seat next to me which just makes me want to sit a few stalls away.
"I'm sorry for overreacting," he tells me softly.
Well, that was easy. We haven't even had another argument or spent three days without speaking to each other and he's saying sorry, impressive.
I just sit there, watching the barman making some kind of fancy cocktail. I should get a taxi to Johanna's, I can't see myself staying for much longer.
"Can you forgive me, Olivia?" He insists and I turn to look at him.
"No," I tell him with no emotion at all.
I just wanted to have a good time and get extra drunk tonight.
"We need to talk about this," he tells me, turning my stall towards him and nearing it towards his.
"No we don't, not now anyway," I say harshly, pushing my stall back with my foot on the floor.
I feel his warm hand with the cold of his rings touch the skin on my thigh and I close my eyes taking a deep breath. When I open them again, he's looking right into my soul, trying to tell me something with those big brown eyes of his. Fuck.
"Please, Olivia," he says softly.
"I'm not talking about it here," I murmur and push his hand off me. "Let's go outside," I order hoping it sounds like when he talks.
I stand up and start walking through the club, trying to remember the way out. Zayn's hand finds it way to my waist and I push it off without stopping.
When I'm out the first thing I notice is the cold winter air on my skin, freezing my chest and legs. I turn back to find Zayn exchanging a few words with a tall woman at the entrance of the club. I breathe out and take a few steps, leaning against a brick wall, trying to control my anger before he gets here.
"Well, well, haven't seen you before," I hear a raspy drunk voice say from the other side of the road.
I don't want to judge but he looks homeless... Or dirty at least, his clothes aren't ripped but old, as if disintegrated. I feel a shiver up my spine and can't help my disgusted face.
I turn around to find Zayn and watch him walk down the road to my spot, he's holding his stomach and I'd guess his grunting by the faces he's pulling.
I take a few quick steps towards him and hold on to his shirt, getting another shiver.
"What's the matter? Why are you so pale?" He asks paling himself and lifting my chin up.
I turn my head again to the homeless guy with the disgusting lustful eyes and turn my face quickly. Zayn puts his arm over me and makes me stand slightly ahead of him when we walk to the other end of the road.
I let go as soon as I feel I'm safe enough and stand in front of him, ignoring his confused face.
"You could've got me fired, actually I could be already and not even know it," I start, leaning my back against a wall.
"I'd never allow him to fire you, Olivia," he says shaking his head with a very straight face.
"You don't get it Zayn, you just don't get it!" I shout slapping one of my hands against my other palm.
He looks down at the floor and sighs.
"You can't decide if he fires me or not, doesn't matter if you have the money for it, you just can't," I say shaking my head. "Forget it, that's not what this is about."
His head moves up again, his eyes searching for something in mine.
"I'm sorry I embarrassed you, I wasn't thinking straight," he tells me in a very low voice.
"How long have you been thinking I'm cheating on you Zayn? Is it because of what Doniya said?" I ask him folding my arms over my chest.
He shakes his head and fiddles with his fingers, studying them. "I've never thought that," he whispers.
He's making me feel bad, and I don't want to feel bad when he was being so damn unfair in there. He was so fucking violent and disrespectful. He acted like a hormone teenager, I swear.
"You obviously did back there," I remind him and stomp my heel down on the floor.
It's so ridiculously cold out here, damn.
"It was only for a few minutes... I didn't think it through, it just crossed my mind and... yeah," he concludes looking down again.
"Why would you think I date someone else?!" I exclaim getting frustrated.
He shrugs and balls his fists. "He called you his girl."
I roll my eyes right to the back of my head, they've probably fallen out actually. I can't believe this.
"For heaven's sake, Zayn" I sigh exasperated and lean my head in my hand.
I know we have issues, but for crying out loud, why does something like this have to add up?
"You're not his girl..." he whispers to himself, his eyes fixed on the wall behind him.
I shake my head and sigh not knowing what to do. "No Zayn, I'm not, I'm no one's girl," I say.
"Yes, you're mine," he tells me, his eyes alive again, piercing into mine.
I stand straighter and shake my head. "No, I'm not. Which means you can't tell me what to wear or what your thoughts are on my attire if I don't ask you. You can't control every single bit of my life, or decide what's going to happen with my job, or who will approach me. Nothing, it's my life, I'm my own girl Zayn." I tell him pushing my finger into his chest.
His face drops, his hand holding up his stomach. "You don't want to be with me?" he asks incredulous, like if he was out of breath from running.
I smack my head against my palm and exhale. "Jesus fucking Christ, Zayn!" I exclaim shaking my head. I take a deep breath and hold his face in my hands, nearing my nose to his. "Yes, I want to be with you for as long as you allow it, which has nothing to do with everything I just said to you." I whisper watching his lips.
His tongue runs over his bottom lip, damping it and I bite my own.
"I'm trying to stop being like that..." he whispers to me defeated.
"I know, I know you are, but it's just so tiring Zayn... I'm not against you, so don't be against me," I explain caressing his jaw. "We're a little team of two here, okay? We've got to work out together without eclipsing each other..." I sigh letting my forehead fall against his.
"I can do that..." he tells me, his arms hanging on the sides of his body.
"Good, cause I don't want to change you, I just don't want you to try and change me, okay?"
He nods slowly and I lean into his lips, taking a slow kiss form them.
I frown and bite his lip slightly. "What's wrong now?" I ask confused. He's too cold, even for Zayn.
"Nothing," he says just standing there as I lean on his chest.
"Why aren't you touching me at all?" I ask him not trying to sound needy.
"I didn't know if... You were pushing me off before," he mutters carefully and I smile hugging his torso.
I lean into him and instantly hear him grunt in pain, pushing my shoulders away from him.
"What's the matter?" I ask confused and he shakes his head. "Tell me, Zayn."
"My stomach, it's just a bit bruised," he brushes it off and lays his hands on my hips.
"Why?" I keep the distance frowning slightly.
"Harry punched me," he says really low and I push his chin up.
"Excuse me?"
"Harry, he was angry, he punched me, and it hurts," he mumbles embarrassed looking down to the floor.
"Why was he so angry?!"
I never thought Harry was agressive... I guess anyone can be with a drink and anger.
"Cause I shouted about your dress..." He whispers dragging his eyes up my dress.
I smile at the thought of Harry taking care of me. He does care then? Zayn didn't force him to entertain me and he even hit Zayn for being nasty...
"I'm sorry I said those things... You look lovely, Olivia," he mutters softly, his hands slipping off my body.
I hold them up and smile leaning into him, careful not to press his stomach again. I attach my lips to his and let them mold as perfectly as they always do.