"Cooks in ten minutes. Just add butter and seasoning packet. Hmm." Zayn mumbled as he read the back of a package that he'd taken out of one of the freezers.
He'd been looking for something good to cook since he became Zayn again. He noticed that most of the food at his place was quick and easy but not very healthy. Of course he remembered not cooking much before Veronica came into the equation and he remembered how most of his home cooked meals came via Harry. But he wanted to actually make things now. He wanted to do the things Veronica did and he wanted to make his own meals.
He never forgot how to cook any of the meals she made. Therefore, he figured he'd go shopping for food today. Currently, he was reading the back of a bag of frozen mixed vegetables which he might some day attempt to use as a side dish. It sounded pretty easy to cook while giving him all the stuff he needed to keep him healthy. So he tossed the bag in the basket and then reached in the freezer to grab another like it.
After putting the other bag in the basket with all the other items, he had already gotten he headed for the checkout line.
→→→→→
On Wednesday, Zayn went to work at the record shop. This was his third day back and he was already starting to get fed up with it. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see that this job was way less entertaining than the job Veronica had. Unlike Veronica, who saw a patient at least every twenty minutes or so, Zayn had been here five hours, and only two people had come in.
Two people? Really?
That made Zayn wonder how he could even afford to get paid every two weeks. How much longer could this place stay open with this amount of business? What if they suddenly closed and he lost his job? He could end up homeless.
That last part scared him and he nearly panicked. I've got to get out of here, right now. I've got to find something better. As soon as that thought dissipated, a bell dinged. It was the sound of the door to the shop opening. In walked an old man and he came right up to the counter.
"May I help you?"
"Yes, I was wondering if you had a specific Beatles album. I'm trying to collect all of them and I just need one more to complete the collection. I've been looking everywhere for it, but I can't find a place that has it. The ones on the internet are being sold by their owners and they are really expensive."
Zayn sighed because he definitely wasn't in the mood for a story. "I think we may have one or two different albums left. Which one are you looking for?"
"Yellow Submarine." He smiled and Zayn thought for a moment.
"I'm not sure we have that one. It was a pretty popular one and one of the first to go when this place opened up. But right this way." He scooted from behind the counter and started to lead him where any Beatles records would have been. When they got there, he found he was exactly right. They didn't have it.
"I'm really sorry." He apologized.
"No, it's okay. I'll probably just end up buying it online anyway."
"Well, you have a good day then." Zayn bid.
"You too, sir."
Even though the man smiled and thanked him before leaving, Zayn sighed when he returned to the counter. As he reached the stool again, he laughed to himself. I still have this job? It's been years and I never moved on to anything else? Am I kidding myself?
It would have been just fine if he enjoyed it. He wouldn't complain if he actually liked selling these records... But he didn't. He knew he wasn't going anywhere from here. He was forever going to be stuck in this same position. Was he really satisfied with this?
No. Veronica was never satisfied. She lived her life the way Zayn Malik never did. Sure, it all came with the help and motivation of Harry but still, she did it! Well now he was Zayn again. He had a second chance to try to make things better and it was time to start making the changes he should have made a long time ago. Putting an end to selling these records in this boring old record shop was the start of it.
Instead of actually sitting on the stool, he keep going past it and didn't stop until he reached an office door. This was the office of the owner and whenever he was here, he always stayed hemmed up in there all day long. So Zayn knew he was there. He went and knocked on the door.
"Come on in." He heard, so he opened it and went in.
"Hey, Jerry." And he saw him puffing away at a cigarette.
"What's up?"
"Uh, I need to take a few days off."
Jerry sat up. "What days are you wanting off?"
"All of next week."
"What? That's more than a few days and that's also very last minute." He softly smashed his cigarette into an ashtray on his desk.
"I know. I'm sorry. But I'll still work for the rest of this week."
"Malik, you're my best worker. Everyone else is lazy here. Imagine a whole week without you?"
Zayn shook his head, trying to figure out how he could even distinguish a lazy person from a hard working one in a businesses this slow. "I need a break, Jerry. I need time to myself. If I don't get it... I'm gonna lose it here. I can feel it."
Jerry sat back in his chair. "Alright, alright. I get it. No need to exaggerate. But I swear, Zayn. If you weren't the hardest worker, I wouldn't give you this."
"I know."
"I'm serious..."
"I know." He repeated.
There was a silence. "Alright, I'll treat them as vacation days so that I can still pay you for your time off. But I want you back front and center, two Mondays from now. Understood?"
"Yes sir." He smiled. "I can do that."
"Good. You can leave now."
After Jerry dismissed him, Zayn came out of the office and sat on the stool again.
He was still bored, but this time he was looking at things a little bit differently. He was a twenty seven year old man now and it was time to start thinking about what he wanted. He knew he wanted Harry, for sure. But what else? What else was there to want? Plenty. All he had to do, was take his time and figure it out.
→→→→→
On Friday, Zayn woke up with this weird urge. It was an urge to tell somebody something. He knew that "somebody" worked at the Dentist office where Veronica used to work, but he couldn't remember her face or what he was supposed to tell her. That really frustrated him because she was supposed to be Veronica's friend and he knew what he wanted to say, would help her.
One thing he could not figure out for the life of him was that he remembered a lot of things that he learned as Veronica. He remembered about Safaa and her boyfriend and how his father felt about her and how his family treated Veronica just because she hadn't had a boyfriend. He never did forget that. But anything outside of his family, Harry and himself, he forgot. It was the weirdest thing. But he knew Lady Fairy had a lot to do with that. So he wouldn't even bother with stressing himself over it.
When he arrived home from work that evening, he lay out on his bed and sighed. New thoughts about his future now swam around in his head and he briefly pictured what he could be doing in a couple years. He'd went by a few places yesterday and filled out a few applications and he talked with some of the employers at those places.
His most favorite of all was when he went to a daycare center. To his surprise, the center manager who met him really liked him right away and she appreciated his charming ways and how easy going he was. So she offered to set up an interview on Tuesday with him, to which Zayn did not hesitate to say yes.
If he were Veronica, she'd be in Harry's arms somewhere, explaining everything and how excited she was about it. Harry would definitely tell her how proud he was too and she'd just soak up all the attention he would give her. Zayn wanted that and truthfully, until now, he hadn't actually considered just how lonely he was without Harry being there for those things. He knew he still had him as his best friend and all, but he really missed the extra attention he used to get from him. The kind that came with the benefit of being more than friends with him. He missed Harry, period.
The thought of him made Zayn sit up on the bed and he looked at the clock longingly. It was a little after seven and it definitely wasn't too late to go by his house to see him. Right? And plus... he hadn't gotten to properly mess with Harry's head yet. Should he start now? Or should he just wait?
At first he just lay down and decided to stay in for the night. But then the way Yvette pat Harry's chest before she told him to go put on a shirt suddenly popped up in his mind again and he couldn't risk not making any kind of move before she came back around again, whenever that would be. So he got up and hopped in his car and went right over to Harry's. Twenty minutes later, he was pulling in his driveway. But he was more than disappointed when he saw that his truck wasn't there. He took out his phone to call him.
When Harry answered the phone, he sounded exasperated. "Hello?"
"Where are you?"
"At the gym. It's Friday, remember?"
"At the what?"
"Friday is one of my workout days, Zayn... in case you forgot. And this is important to me so I kinda don't want to stop right now. What do you want?"
"I'm at your house waiting for you to get here. When are you coming back?"
Suddenly, Zayn heard a hard thud and then rustling. Then Harry replied. "Sorry. I- I dropped the phone. You said you're... you're at my house?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes. Why is that so surprising?"
"Uh. Its not. I just... okay, I'm on my way. Don't go anywhere. I mean it. Stay right there. I've gotta go."
Zayn smiled smugly to himself as he hung up the phone. Harry was a nervous wreck on the other side of that phone and it was beautiful to listen to and to imagine. He just wished he was there to actually see his face.
Twenty minutes later, Harry's truck was finally pulling up in the driveway. They both got out of their separate vehicles and met up at the front door. After Harry found the key, he unlocked it. Like a true gentleman, he let Zayn come in first and for a moment, Zayn almost forgot he wasn't Veronica anymore.
"So... I guess you're here for your Xbox?" Harry asked.
Zayn shrugged as he followed him into the living room because really, he'd forgotten all about that thing. "Hmm. Sure."
"Oh. Well it's already in the bag for you when you want it. Liam was nice enough to pack it all back in there for you."
Zayn hummed. "That's nice."
"Yep."
When they reached the living room, Harry sat a small backpack down on the couch. "Is that it?"
Zayn was going to answer but it seemed like as soon as he blinked, Harry was removing his shirt over his head. Zayn just kind of froze in place. What is with him wanting to be shirtless all the time?! He felt like he was doing it on purpose or something.
"Z." He said calmly because Zayn was unknowingly scowling at him.
"Huh?"
"Are you alright? Did I do something wrong?"
Zayn came to. "No. I'm sorry. S'just been a long day. A long week actually. What did you ask?"
Harry held tightly to the shirt. "Is that all you came for? The Xbox?"
Zayn shrugged. "Not really. I thought maybe we could talk and stuff too... I was a getting a little bit lonely at home too, I admit. Can I stay over? Do you mind?"
He noticed how Harry seemed to relax then. "Of course not. That's why I've given you the guestroom. Stay over whenever you like, Z. You don't have to ask."
Ah, so I can have a whole guestroom, but Yvette doesn't even get a drawer here. Take that Yvette! The score was one to zero and Zayn was loving the competition. Because he was winning. "Okay."
"Uhm. If you don't mind, I'm all hot and sweaty..."
Oh, I don't mind you hot and sweaty.
"...so I'm going to have a quick shower, put on my PJs and then we can talk." Harry finished.
"Okay. That's fine."
Harry flashed a smile before grabbing the bag he sat down on the couch earlier and he went up the stairs.
Zayn decided that while Harry was showering, he'd sort of get ready for bed too, so he used the guest bathroom in the hall like he used to. It was so weird when he stepped in the shower there but at the same time, it was very welcoming because he knew he was at Harry's and it just felt really good to be there again. And he wasn't including when Harry had guests over, like Saturday. He was only talking about when it was just the two of them. That was what made this so nice.
Their showers ended pretty much simultaneously but Zayn ended up spending a bit of time looking at himself in the mirror again.
He knew that Harry had liked him in his present form even before he was Veronica, but he couldn't help but feel a little bit insecure right now. Sure, he liked him, but what if he could never love him like he did her. What if one day down the road, he suddenly realized that Zayn couldn't give him children of his own flesh and blood and he changed his mind? What if he suddenly thought that any woman was better than Zayn just for that reason? That would break Zayn's heart. He would never recover from that.
He poked his stomach and grazed his fingertips over it. He knew there was a such thing as magic now, so maybe one day, Lady Fairy could pop up along the way and make it possible for him to have babies. How amazing would that be?
He smiled as he pictured himself carrying Harry's children. It wouldn't be so bad. And he wouldn't mind giving Harry the family they'd pictured themselves having in Veronica's world. But then he thought about the reaction he, Harry and their children would probably get from the public. It more than likely wouldn't be a good one. So maybe, being a pregnant man wasn't such a good idea after all.
He sighed then turned off the light before leaving the bathroom. He was going to throw on a shirt to cover himself. But then he remembered how much Harry had frustrated him without one. So he thought two could play at that game and he elected to go without one.
As he made his way downstairs, he heard Harry in the kitchen clashing and scraping stuff. Something smelled really good. He pushed his hands in the pockets of his pajama pants as he reached the bottom. Turning the corner, he saw Harry there, looking dreamy as ever in his own pajamas. Only it disappointed Zayn that this would be the time that he would actually wear a shirt, seeing as he wanted to secretly admire the guise of his back the way Veronica used to.
"So you work out?" Zayn asked.
Harry turned around and stole a glance. "Yeah... I thought I told you that."
"Did you?"
He nodded. "Yeah. I did. A couple months back."
Zayn folded his arms and finally walked in there, toward him. "Really? I don't remember that."
"Well, I'm quite sure I did."
Zayn finally saw that he was cooking something with sauce and vegetables and rice. Obviously it was once frozen but now it was completely thawed. It looked like it was going to taste delicious. "What made you want to go to a gym?"
Harry stopped stirring only for a second, but Zayn noticed it. "Yvette convinced me." He said quietly.
Ugh. "And you actually did it?"
"Well yeah. She's into fitness and I like that she's happy that I show a bit of interest in what she likes."
Shit. Score is one to one now. "Oh, yeah. I guess that makes sense... so you've been going for two months."
"Yep. A couple days out of the week, Tuesdays and Fridays."
"Do you always go that late?"
"Not really, no. I usually go right after work. It takes me ten minutes to get there, so I arrive about four fifteen, work out for an hour or an hour and a half and then I go home. Sometimes, I just have a hard time motivating myself to go for some reason, so I come back home first and I end up going late."
Zayn frowned. "Well... If you're not motivated to do it, that means you're not truly enjoying it as much as you think you are. You know that, right?"
Harry sat the wooden spoon he was using down on the counter, then reached up in a cabinet for two ceramic bowls. He didn't say anything as he turned off the burner and used a bigger spoon to fill up the bowls. "You're probably going to want some water with this, Zayn. It's a fajita stir fry kinda thing and it's spicy."
Zayn knew that Harry was avoiding saying anything in reply to what he'd said but he was too distracted by what Harry did to push any further. He liked how he'd automatically gotten out two bowls and assumed Zayn was eating whatever he made. Kind of like how husbands do for their mates. Kind of like how Harry did for Veronica.
"Is it going to be so spicy that I can't enjoy it?"
He shook his head. "Nope. It's really good. I promise. Do me a favor and grab us both a bottle of water out of there, please."
Zayn raised his eyebrow but went over to the refrigerator and did it anyway.
By the time he did it and turned back around, Harry had put a spoon in each of the bowls and he was carrying both bowls in his hands. "Come on." He smiled in his direction and started to walk past him.
Zayn furrowed his brow and looked down at the water bottles as he slowly followed him. It wasn't until they started to go up the stairs that he realized what was happening. They were about to go upstairs and eat in Harry's room together. How romantic-- well... at least it would have been romantic if they were actually dating.
"You can pull the covers back if you want." Harry said, gesturing toward the bed. "Unless you want to eat on top of them."
"Oh, okay." Zayn sat the bottles down on one of Harry's nightstands and then pulled back the covers. He let out a happy sigh as he sat in Harry's bed again. It felt so good to be here in it. The last time he was in it, Harry was snuggled up close to Veronica just because she asked him to. He wondered what it would be like to snuggle up to him now.
Harry got in and held out one of the bowls to him. He gladly took it before giving Harry one of the bottles of water. The next thing he knew, they were sitting cross legged and they were sat beside each other, shoulder to shoulder.
"So you wanted to talk, right?"
Zayn's heart started to beat fast and he realized he did say that. The thing is though, he never actually had anything in mind. His main reason was that he wanted to physically see Harry. That was all. "Uh, yeah."
"What about?"
Zayn thought for a moment, then perked up. "I have a job interview on Tuesday." He said excitedly.
Harry was taken by surprise. "You're leaving the record shop?"
"Yep."
"To do what?" He ate a bite of food.
"I don't know for sure but I need something better, Harry. I've been in the same old routine for far too long. I want to be happy and working there does not make me happy. At all."
Harry nodded. "So what job are you going to be interviewed for, then?"
"It's for a teacher's assistant job at a daycare. Apparently, there's a need right now and the best part is that it does not require a degree to be hired. Just a highschool education. So I'm already qualified."
"Hmm. So you want to work with children. Interesting. But why? And what made you think to go to a daycare?"
"Because I wanted something that will make me happy. Plus I want kids, so... so this is a good way to be around them and learn how to deal with them even if I can't have them."
Harry turned his head sideways and watched Zayn eat a spoonful of rice. "You can. You just have to find someone... someone who's willing to get married and do that with you."
But I want you and we can't have kids together. "I know. Its just... never mind."
"You're saying never mind but somehow I think it's deeper than that. There is no sense in hiding anymore. Ever since you broke up with Perrie, you haven't been the same person I once knew. And I'm really trying to understand why."
Zayn raised his eyebrow. "I haven't been the same? Why do you say that?"
"I don't know. You just sorta... distanced yourself after that."
"From you?"
Harry didn't look at him as he exhaled heavily. "The Zayn Malik actually wanting kids... that's... wow. Who would've thought?"
That was the second time Harry had outright avoided Zayn's question tonight, but it was also the second time Zayn was distracted by him. This time it wasn't because of his actions though. It was because of what he'd just said. Was Harry saying that because he never thought he would ever want to something like that? Or was it because he was afraid Zayn finally wanted to settle down with someone else who wasn't him?
"I know it's quite different coming from me. But I had a lot of time to think over this past week. It's been weird for sure. But it's mostly been... it's been very eye opening for me in more ways than one. And right now, I'm just trying to put it all together." He ate a bite of food again.
Awkwardly enough, he was actually able to eat two more bites before Harry finally said anything.
"Well, I'm still really proud of you, Z. And I hope you get the job too. Because you've always deserved to be happy."
"Thanks Hazza. That's really a sweet thing to say."
Now Zayn was just looking down at his bowl with a huge smile plastered on his face and he couldn't resist just bumping his shoulder against Harry's. Harry immediately returned the act, but it was more tender and softer, causing Zayn to look at him. His eyes weren't meeting Zayn's, but he saw the way Harry looked. So perplexed and confounded and he knew Harry was confused. So he reached over and pat his leg for assurance.
He didn't say anything but Zayn understood the reason was because he couldn't bring himself to. He understood that he didn't want to tell him how that little touch immediately calmed him of his worries or that right now, he wished Zayn could give him a whole lot more than that. But he didn't need to. Harry's body language was like an open book so he could see it written all over him. And for the moment, it really saddened Zayn to know that Harry had been miserable and unsatisfied for two long years as a result of his failure to pay attention to him.
They finished eating in silence after that and though it was a little unnerving, it was also highly appreciated. When Harry was collecting their dishes so that he could take them downstairs to be washed, he told Zayn to stay in his bed for the night. Zayn really did try to tell him he could go back to the guestroom and sleep there, multiple times. But Harry insisted he lay down and try to go to sleep while he went downstairs to wash dishes and get a couple other things done. So to please Harry-- and himself because it wasn't like he was so upset about it-- he agreed to stay in his bed.
While Harry was downstairs clashing stuff again, Zayn was trying to clear his mind of anything. Just pretend like you're in your own bed at home or in the guestroom. He told himself as he closed his eyes. That eventually worked as he was able to block out everything around him. And soon after he'd pulled the covers up to his neck, he fell into a calm and deep sleep.
*
*
*
Sometime in the middle of the night, Zayn was awaken by the harsh snoring of Harry. So he lightly pushed him. "Harry." He said lightly in an effort to wake him up but he wasn't waking up.
"Harry." Another nudge. Yet again he was ignored.
This time, Zayn huffed, then hit him. "Harry, please shut up. I'm trying to sleep over here."
Harry answered him with a 'huh'. But he never actually became totally conscious, even when he rolled over from his back to his stomach.
Zayn would have been okay with him doing that, except for three things. One, when Harry rolled over, he rolled toward the middle, so now he was right next to him and touching his side. Two, he moved his legs to get more comfortable and his cold feet touched Zayn's feet, making Zayn jump and pull his own back. And three, right when Zayn finally ignored everything and tried to go to sleep, Harry started to snore again.
Zayn was trying to remember ever hearing a night when Harry snored this loud before. But he couldn't. Harry never snored like this. This was absolutely ridiculous and he would be sure to tell Harry that when he finally woke up.
*
*
*
Zayn was awaken by somebody plopping down on the bed beside him. He slowly opened his eyes to see Harry but his hair was covering his face.
"Good morning, sleepy head." He giggled.
"You goof." Zayn said, and he smiled back. "What's the time?"
"It's after twelve o'clock. I think you slept for twelve hours."
"No, I did not. You snored for four of them. And you snored loud. Took me forever to get back to sleep."
"Oh..."
"Yeah, oh. Plus you kept putting your cold feet on mine. You are the worst sleeper ever, Harry."
"No. I'm not, really. I only sleep like that when I work out. Yvette has been here a couple nights after I've worked out and she told me she realized that. So Tuesday nights and Friday nights are the only nights you'll ever see or hear me sleep like that. I promise."
Zayn ignored her name. "Well next time, remind me not to let you talk me into sleeping here with you on a Tuesday or Friday, ever again."
"Or I could just stop working out. That's an option too."
Zayn laughed quietly but he had a feeling Harry was dead serious about it. So he reached over to push his hair out of the way. That way he could properly see his face. His hair was partially wet, and that told him Harry had already taken a shower earlier.
Oh shit. Harry took a shower with me sleeping in the room! Wait... Is that a point for me?
"I'll make breakfast. What do you want?" Harry offered once Zayn tucked his hair behind his ear.
"Whatever you make. I'm not picky."
"Eggs. You like eggs?"
"Sure."
"What about oatmeal?"
"Yes, but it doesn't matter what I like. Whatever you cook will be fine."
"And you're sure."
"Positive."
Harry smiled. "I'll go start it then."
"Okay." Zayn closed his eyes for a moment, but realized Harry was still there and not making an effort to move. So he reopened them. "You're still here."
"Because you're still here."
"Were you watching me?"
"Yes."
"Please don't watch me."
"Why not?"
"Because it's weird. Stop."
That only made Harry snicker, so Zayn took his hair from behind his ear and put it over his face again.
Harry reached out and lightly pinched his side, similarly the way he had done it to Yvette last week. Only he didn't take his hand away from his bare skin. He left it there and right away, Zayn felt the electricity shoot through him. "Careful Hazza," he said, and he was sure to make sure Harry could hear the teasing in his voice though he purposely bat his eyes. "You let me eat in your bed, sleep in your bed and now you're putting your naughty hands all over me. I don't think your girlfriend is going to like that very much."
Harry chuckled before getting up and out of the bed. "Probably not, but you're welcome to use my bathroom too, if you want to."
Now Zayn sat up. "Are you serious?" He questioned just as Harry got to his bedroom door.
"Yeah."
"Why? You've never let me use it."
Harry only stared at him. "Better hurry up, Z. Eggs and oatmeal don't stay warm for long." He said before leaving the room.
Zayn held his arms out and huffed as he fell backwards on the bed. Harry was so frustrating! This marked the third time he blatantly changed the subject. Why does he not want to open up? Was it because he thought he was the same old Zayn? He frowned at that idea. He was not the same old Zayn. He was hopelessly head over heels for Harry now. If only he could just see that and dump that stupid girlfriend of his!
He shuffled out of bed and went out of the room to his own bedroom to choose something to wear. He knew the score was only tied one to one, but he still felt like he was loosing by a landslide. How could he be loosing at his own game? Was he not playing it properly? Maybe not. Maybe he needed to take things to another level.
Yeah, that's what I need to do. I need to kick things up a notch.
But to what notch? How far was he really willing to go to get Harry back? That's when he got another idea.
He couldn't believe he was saying this, and honestly he wanted to vomit all over the carpets at the thought of possibly seeing that girl touch all over Harry again. But he needed Yvette back here in order for it to work. He needed her there along side Harry doing everything she normally did with him. And once that happened, only then would he be able to clearly see exactly how to play his cards.