Yes, even talking is hard!:
"Hey. I'm Kate." She reaches out her hand. With hands shaking I reach out and shake it back. Was that too hard? Were my palms sweaty. Oh shit, messed up already.
She talks and I laugh whenever she makes a joke, but I'm nervous as all hell. Heart pounding. Legs shaking. Palms sweating. I want to leave. I want to run away.
You are going to mess up. You just messed up. You shouldn't have said that. What should I say? Was it right to laugh. Should i laugh? What does she think of me? Is this a good first impression? She probably thinks I'm weird. I'm a freak. She thinks I'm stupid and ugly. I bet she's talking because I'm still here. What should I say. Did I just interrupt? God I'm stupid. You're better off dead.
I can't stop these thoughts that run through my head. This is a normal conversation. It's not like I'm shaking her family or anything, why do I feel like this. Is it getting hot or is it just me?
After a few minutes she says she has to go and waves goodbye after giving me her number so we can text.
Was I alright? I probably looked idiotic. I should stop trying. She'll never want to be friends with you.
All the mistakes I made. All of the stuttered words and mess ups replay in my mind throughout the day and night. I tell myself I'm stupid for saying those things. The conversation replays in my mind all night. I wave of anxiety floods over me over everything that I said that might've been weird.
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As you can see, many of these thoughts are irrational. They don't make sense because nothing is going wrong. What I forgot to include was the possibilities that run through my head. All the things that can go wrong flood my brain. Remember, if I start a conversation with you, it takes a lot of courage and that goes for many people with social anxiety.
During these random conversations I also seem to freeze. I'm like holy shit there is a person and I have to talk to them oh shit oh shit.
And with the big italicized section you can see how it escalates from "You idiot." To "Kill yourself."
These short descriptions can't fully describe what it's like but it gives you an idea.
If you know someone with social anxiety and you see they had a conversation or started one, it wouldn't hurt to tell them that you're proud of them. Sometimes that's all we need to hear, that we are doing good even when we feel like we are failing.
P.S. The name Kate means nothing. I just came up with it randomly as an example