I went on a short jog in the morning to relieve the stress that was built up last night. Kyle and I weren't talking and things got a little awkward with Luke because of what happened. Kyle was literally getting in my way when it came to everything; I can't do my school work because we share all of our projects together, I can't be home because he is there and I don't want to deal with him anymore, and I can't even talk to Luke because Kyle left this awkwardness and tension between us. Running was the only thing I could do without him interfering or ruining it.
I couldn't run forever though, at some point I have to go back to the house and do my reading for to school before I have to go to bed later on tonight. The sun was already setting and I didn't have much time to get everything done before bedtime.
My heart jumped out of my chest at the sight of Kyle sitting on the staircase as I entered the house. He had his crutches leaning against staircase wall while sitting on the 4th steps with his elbows rested on his thighs and tapping his other leg rapidly against the step.
"Jesus, Kyle" I said holding my hand over my racing heart "What the fuck?"
"Right back at you" he said "You left you phone here. I was trying to get a hold of you for hours"
"I didn't want any distractions" I told him "I have enough on my plate for now"
"But that doesn't mean that you can just leave your phone here and leave. God knows what could've happened" he said.
"I'm fine, Kyle. Save me the lecture, I'm not really in the mood for it right now"
"So what now? You have a boyfriend and now you don't care if other people around you worry? As long as you're with him everything else doesn't matter?" He said.
"Not that you're my parent and I have to justify anything to you, but I wasn't with Luke. I was running only own to clear my head" I said.
He reached out and took my hands in his then pulled me to the staircase, making me sit beside him in the narrow step. He intertwined his fingers and started shaking his leg again.
"I'm sorry" he said.
"How long is this apology is going to last for this time?" I asked as I rolled my eyes.
"Could you stop being a jerk for a minute and listen?" He said annoyed.
"Would you stop being one all the time?" I fired back.
"I'm not"
I held his eye gaze for minute before he turned away in surrender.
"Okay, fine. I was acting like a jerk yesterday and a few other times time too" he said.
I cleaned my throat with a raised eyebrow.
"Okay, I've been a jerk a lot lately" he said before dropping his eyes to the floor "I can't help it. I really really care about you and like you. It annoys the shit out of me that you're trusting a complete stranger with your heart rather than me. Kim, We've not each other our whole life"
"Exactly, I knew you my whole life. Doing this will ruin us" I told him "You are too important to lose over a relationship that will not last because of those habits of yours that I witnessed growing up with you"
I then lean my head against the wall beside me "Relationships are hard and you frankly have not been in one ever" I reminder him "I am looking for something serious, Kyle, and you can't do serious. Think about it, do you really want to risk our friendship over feelings that you're not even sure of?"
He looked back down then shook his head.
"I'm sorry" he said.
"So now what?" I asked.
He placed his hand over mine and intertwined our fingers "I promise that I will try harder to stop acting like a jerk"
"And?" I said, encouraging him to go on.
"I will stop taking you for granted. I need you... in everything; without you, I am lost"
"And?"
"Don't push your luck" he rolled his eyes then turned to me with a serious expression "Promise me something?"
"Depends"
"You can't push me into meeting him again, and that you won't make me worried by staying out all night with him and turn your phone off. I worry about you a lot"
"Home at 3" I joked.
He let out a small chuckle "Try 10"
"12" I tell him "Last offer"
He nodded "Okay, that works too"
He leaned his head against the wooden rail as he steered out to nothing.
I squeezed his hands tighter as I answer the question and fear that was running through his head "I'm replacing you with any of them" I assured him "No-one can replace you, Kyle"
"Same goes to you Kimberly" he said.
I smiled before leaning my head against his shoulder "So we're good?" I asked.
He nodded.
"Stay with for tonight?"
I looked up at him confused.
"I have come to the conclusion that Dan is a loud sleeper. He can have my bed for tonight, I'll stay in my mum's room" he said "But you know how much I hate sleeping in her room alone. It's so creepy"
I nudged him with my shoulder "What happened to your cuddle buddies" I jokingly asked him.
"I don't know. I haven't had cuddled with anyone for a while" he said using air quotes for 'Cuddles'.
"Since when" I chuckled in surprise.
"Since I kissed you" he said. Before things could full into silence, he started talking again "Dan is having a party in a few days so hopefully that would change"
I felt my heart flatter in my chest then sink in at his words. I gave him a smile then nudged him with my should again playfully.
We sat there for a bit longer just talking. By right time, we already had an early dinner, then the three of us sat on the table as Dan taught us how to play poker before we went to bed.
It was cold and quiet in Kyle's mum's bed were we both slept on opposite sides of the bed. It was past 12 and I couldn't bring myself to sleep at all.
"What about you?" I heard Kyle say.
I turned to him confused "I'm sorry?"
He was laying on his side facing me "Did you think about having sex with Luke yet?"
He himself seems too uncomfortable with the question itself. It didn't matter though, he was looking for a true answer and I wasn't about to lie to him.
I turn on my side to face him and I cuddle a pillow to maintain the distance between us "I don't know. We haven't had that conversation yet or made an initiatives to do so" I told him "Luke is nice and all, but I'm not ready to lose my virginity this soon in a relationship. I want to be in love first"
He smiled before turning on his back and looking at the ceiling "I taught you well"
"You taught me shit" I giggled.