Note: This is a prequel to my YA novel The White Lilac. As such the world is not explained as fully as if it were intended to stand alone. My hope is that it can still be understood and that you enjoy it! :) Please let me know what you think!
Alarms blared and the warning lights along the hallway flashed as Thirteenth Official Allia Washington pushed the stretcher into the sleeping quarters. Twelve-year-old Mattai Jokio lay flat on his back, his skin a dark, unhealthy shade of yellow and his eyes twitching back and forth as if they were trying to watch a hummingbird flit between two flowers. Just like the others had been, which was not good for Mattai. And she’d had such hopes that this time the serum would work.
“How long has he been like this?” Allia asked.
“About five minutes now,” the cleaning lady said. She stood in the back of the room where the shadows hid all but the bright blue of her skirt.
Two other officials enter the room, including Ninth Official Yama, who outranked Allia and immediately took over. They lifted Mattai onto the stretcher and rushed him out of the main house, across the Compound and into Science Lab 5. Allia watched from the back of the room as Dr. Vos and his team swarmed around the boy. He was unresponsive. Another bad sign. Hours passed and then it was over.
They covered Mattai in a sheet and transferred the body to the morgue. Tests would be run to discover why his body had shut down, but Allia knew the final conclusion would be the same. Some combination of the DNA splicing and treatments he had been given had done permanent damage until it was only a matter of time. The serum was supposed to stop this, but their current formula had to be missing something. Mattai lasted three months longer than the others and for a few weeks Allia had started to hope, but it had been too soon.
There was a slight resignation to Allia’s steps as she walked back to the main house. It had been a long day and it was only half done. In her 58 years there had been many days like today. It never got easier, but after Britta, her last charge, had died she was determined not to get too close. Even though she had only worked with Mattai for six months, it still hit her heart like a sledge hammer to see him collapsed on the floor.
She had overheard Ninth Official Yama once say that some of the female officials became emotionally attached to the children, especially if they had also carried future contestants. Over the last 30 years Allia had lost eight pregnancies and three infants because of genetic defects and complications with their DNA splicing. Each loss had taken its toll. She had trouble coping for years and then they promised her they wouldn’t be as experimental. Yet that wasn’t enough, it was only when they also promised that her child would not be placed in the program that she agreed. It was the program that killed almost as often as the genetic complications. The children were pushed too hard.
She entered the main house and took the elevator to the fifth floor, where the nursery was located. Large glass windows lined the hall and she picked a spot near the middle almost directly across from a dark haired four year old boy. He was building a tower with blocks. It was tall, thin and haphazardly twisted from the base up so that it almost looked like a strand of DNA. Allia allowed a small smile. He was a scientist already.
Four years ago she had Brian. Although he had not removed the painful loss of her previous tries, he had softened her heart and made life worth living again. He could not see her because the glass was tinted on his side and even if he did Allia knew he wouldn’t rush up to greet her. Although he was her son she was only allowed four hours a week to spend with him. It was not enough for him to bond with her, however, it was enough for her to feel more strongly about him than she had ever felt for her charges. And she could watch him whenever there was a lull in her duties.
Brian dumped a bucket of blocks onto the floor and began sorting them by color and size. One of the other children, a blonde haired girl around the age of two came over and squatted next to him. She seemed perfectly content to watch, her small hands resting on her knees. At first Brian held a hand out to protect his tower, but then he relaxed and went back to his building completely ignoring her.
“They are so young.”
Allia glanced behind her and saw First Official Foreman.
“Which one is yours?” he asked, his gaze shifting from her to the children playing.
“Brian, the boy building the tower.”
He nodded. “Mine is Caryn, the girl watching him.”
Neither said anything as Brian’s tower fell. Instantly Caryn jumped up and started picking up the blocks that rolled too far. Brian didn’t appear bothered by the destruction. Instead, he tilted his head to one side as if it helped him think of a better way to build the next time. He picked up blocks and started building again.
First Official Foreman cleared his throat. “I heard about your charge.”
“The treatment didn’t work.”
“I am moving you back to full time in Science Lab 2 starting in the morning. I saw some of the notes you were working on and we need to make the proper coding of this treatment a first priority. We can’t afford to lose anyone else. We’re behind schedule as it is.”
Allia closed her eyes a moment. She felt exhausted, but the prospect of being back in the lab sounded much better than meeting a new charge in the morning.
“I will turn in then so I will be properly rested,” she said and turned to leave.
“We have openings in the candidate program now.” First Official Foreman’s voice was so low she almost didn’t hear it, but it made her bones freeze inside of her.
“Not for my son. I have a signed contract,” she said. She turned back to see he wasn’t watching her, but his daughter.
“I know,” he said, with a sigh. “But if we don’t find a treatment that works we might need anyone we can get.”
Allia’s mind began to race. They were considering putting her son in the program, even after they promised her they wouldn’t. She felt a flash of anger and the ice of despair race up and down her limbs. She began to shake. How could they do this to her? Without even knowing when she started walking, Allia found herself outside on the long path that circled the Compound.
Images of all the candidates she’d worked with over the years flew through her mind. She’d seen them all writhing on the ground. She’d seen their wide eyes darting and then slowing and silently dimming. They promised her that her son would never have to go through that. It was the only reason she’d agreed to have him. He was her hope. The one who had lived, who would continue to live after she was gone. He was her reason for living. How could they go against their promise and take that away?
She wanted to crumble into a ball and stay like that, but she had done that before and it didn’t change anything. It could not bring back those she had lost. And she was tired of being helpless, of letting things happen to her instead of taking control. But how could she take control of this? The Compound would never let her take Brian.
In their eyes he belonged to them, he was a product of their scientific minds and experiments. He was also one of the few who survived and they needed him, if not for the program then for maintaining the staff. She wouldn’t be able to just steal him away. They would come looking for him and they wouldn’t stop as long as they thought he was alive. Even if Allia managed to get a ride on one of the ships going to Earth or Deltan or some newly colonized planet, they would find her eventually. She had worked in the Compound long enough to know just how far and how deep their influence flowed.
Allia felt exhausted. Her head hurt and her heart ached. She wanted to do something drastic and she had never felt that way before. If only they would keep her contract intact. Then she remembered First Official Foreman had used that word too. If the treatment would work they wouldn’t need more candidates.
Slowly Allia stood taller and straightened her shoulders. She was going to fix the treatment if it was the last thing she did. The weight she had been carrying and the weariness in her eyes flew away. With long steps she strode past the Main House to Science Lab 2. Her old station was dark, but she soon had her computer running.
The first thing she did was look up Brian’s profile. It listed all the information they had on him from his weight to his DNA. In the top corner the box for the candidate program was colored yellow for under consideration. This would last for two weeks while he was tested to see if he would survive and at the end of the two weeks the decision would be final. If he was in, there would be nothing she could do about it. But this gave her two weeks to fix the treatment. Two weeks to save her son. It would work. She would make it work.
All night Allia stayed in her station and didn’t feel a bit tired when the others arrived to start the day. The treatment was composed of three parts: One to boost the immune system, one to increase the candidate’s abilities and one to stabilize the candidate’s DNA. First she looked up all the notes on the different parts to isolate where the treatment was failing. Much of this she remembered from the last time she’d worked in the labs. Still she had to go through all their past formulas and double check the results. It was possible they had missed something.
Allia kept going through the second day too, but the different formulas were becoming impossible. Her head had started to buzz and she reluctantly went back to her room that night. The sleep had revitalized her and the third day she started to make real progress. The part of the treatment that was failing was the last part that had to stabilize the candidate’s DNA. She tried tweaking various elements, but the chemicals used should have been working. She studied all the notes the other scientists were making and the results of their experiments.
Days blurred together as Allia devoted every second she could to testing the different formulas. She didn’t spend as much time talking with the other scientists as she had in the past, but they seemed to understand her drive and left her alone unless it was related to the testing or formulas.
Then, three days before the two weeks were up she found it. It was so obvious and yet also complex. The problem with the children was that their DNA had been spliced with DNA from animals to produce the right mix of speed, agility, retention of oxygen and any other trait the scientists thought could be useful. And every child’s mix was different. Of course one single cure wouldn’t work, even though the current belief was that one of the first shots every child had was supposed to add a marker that would make every child receptive to the same medicine, but this wasn’t working.
Each cure had to be specifically doctored to fit that child’s mix of DNA. Allia ran several models based on the children living and then she also ran a model based on Mattai’s collection of DNA. When both models came back positive she thought her lack of sleep was clouding her mind. She had to read it five times before she convinced herself to get up and show it to one of her co-workers. They were skeptical at first and had to go back and read her notes from the last two days, but at last Ninth Official Yama came over and reviewed her work. They would start creating the formula and try it.
Allia was sent to get some rest and as she walked out of the lab she felt tired, but happy. Her hands ached with early signs of arthritis or from all the hours she spent typing and writing she wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter. She had saved her son. And as her head touched her pillow she wondered if the officials would let her take Brian on a small trip somewhere, just the two of them. Perhaps they would go to the lake and he could skip rocks. If the formula worked, and she was sure it would, then they would want to reward her and she decided that a short trip with her son would be perfect.
She fell into a deep sleep and dreamed of Brian laughing and running into her arms.
It was the afternoon of the next day when Allia woke. She wondered why no one had come to wake her and then she was instantly worried that the formula didn’t work. Whipping on a new uniform, she rushed back to the lab. There were more scientists in the rooms than would normally be there, even the room she used. Everyone from labs 2 to 5 if Allia was right. Her heart beat faster when she saw Ninth Official Yama holding up a vial of milky yellow liquid that was then passed to First Official Foreman.
Was that it?
Then everyone parted as First Official Foreman walked out into the hallway. He saw her and nodded at the vial.
“It looks like you might have done it. We are going to try it now and because of your hard work it would be fitting for you to also be present,” First Official Foreman said.
Allia murmured a thank you and waited for the other officials to pass before joining the back of the line. They all filed into one of the patient rooms and there was barely enough space for all of them to fit.
Heather, the oldest candidate at six years old, was sitting patiently on the table, her caretaker standing at the table’s head. First Official Foreman handed the vial to Dr. Vos, who then drew the liquid into a syringe and injected it into Heather. Everyone took a step closer as Dr. Vos began running scans and checking vitals. Allia wasn’t sure what everyone expected. They weren’t really able to tell if it was working until the next day, but then again, those past formulas were not going to work anyway.
“Good,” Dr. Vos said. “Now we’ll just have to wait and see.”
The collective room seemed to sigh either from relief or disappointment and Allia was the first one out the door followed by others.
The next day Heather’s results were responsive and Allia heard that Dr. Vos gave Brian the injections tailored to his DNA as well with similar results. The overall feel in the Compound was one of hope. Allia nearly burst with it. She wondered if she could petition the Officials for more time off to spend with her son. Perhaps she could show him the lab she worked in and let him help with some simple experiments. With that in mind, she waited outside of First Official Foreman’s office waiting for him to return.
After twenty minutes of waiting, First Official Foreman turned the corner to his office’s waiting area. His stride halted as he saw her and then he walked past to his office door.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “There is nothing I can do.”
Allia stood to her feet. “It would only be an extra hour a week--What do you mean?”
First Official Foreman sighed. “I thought you knew. The paperwork placing Brian in the Candidate Program is finalized.”
“But the injections--You said, you lied....” Her voice nearly trailed up into a shrilled gasp and she could see First Official Foreman’s eyes narrow. He would have her removed from the Compound if she made a scene. She would never see Brian again.
“There is nothing I can do. We need all the candidates we can get.”
“But a candidate cannot be entered without the parent’s permission.”
“Or unless the board deems it necessary and overrules the parent’s right.”
“The board? You head the board.” Allia wanted to scream. She pinched her lips together and looked down at the floor. Her heart pounded so hard it was difficult to breath, but Allia forced two deep inhales before she said, “I thought if I found the answer to why the candidates were dying that my son would not be put into the program. He was never supposed to be on the list. The contract I signed before he was born--”
“States that we have the right to determine final placement according to any needs that may arise. I can send you the copy on file.”
“No, that’s all right.” Allia would look at her own copy later, although she felt certain that First Official Foreman was right. The Compound would never leave out a clause that would give them final say. She was a fool to not remember it or think that they would never use it. When she spoke again her voice came out softer than she wanted. “When will Brian start his training?”
“On the 12th of January.”
Three weeks away. Everything was happening so fast and Allia was powerless to stop it. He could not enter the program. She would not allow it and yet there was nothing she could do. Or was there?
“We do appreciate the sacrifice you are making as a parent, but since he is not in the program he can no longer have distractions.”
That meant no more parent visits. Allia could barely make herself nod.
“I also wanted to pass along to you how valuable your work has been. The cure you created has shown more potential than anything we’ve seen. You’ve saved the candidate program and the decades of research that we’ve put into the candidates.”
“I do my best, sir.” Allia paused. “The past few days have been rough for me. Might I take the rest of the day off? I’d like to have a change in scenery, clear my head, maybe go shopping in the city.”
First Official Foreman paused, his head tilted. “That might be good for you. Take two days. You’ve been working hard.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Allia could hardly keep one foot ahead of the other as she left the waiting area and turned down the hall. The farther she got the easier it was and the more determined she became to figure out how she could save her son. A whole list of possibilities ticked through her mind. Like the ancient slide shows that would show a picture and then click to the next one, she considered her options.
The only way she could ensure that Brian was safe was if she removed him from the Compound’s care. The Officials had goals to meet, candidates to train, a world-wide disease to cure. They wouldn’t--couldn’t--put the needs or wants of one person above all the others. Allia knew this too well.
She had walked candidates to the doctor’s office where they received the shot that would one day end their lives. She’d believed it was the right thing to do too. It wasn’t until she started to have children of her own that she realized how conflicted the parents of her charges must feel. This was why officials and scientists were never allowed to work with their own children. It was a conflict of interest. Brian could not remain in the Compound because his needs would never be first. For the good of all a few must die, but Brian did not have to be one of those few.
Allia grabbed her blue id, access and credit card from her room and placed it in her left palm where it attached to her skin. She also took the handheld, her personal computer, and started running cleaner apps that would hide her browsing history. Then she took one of the Compound’s speeders to Highton City a two minute flight.
It was an old model and probably came out the year she was born, if not before. The older models were the trickiest to fly. If the timing of the duel engines from each other were off by a fraction of a second and then the pilot flooded them with gas they could explode. It had something to do with the chemical instability of the natural gas on Beta Earth and how different it was from Earth gas, which was pretty much used up besides being extremely expensive to import. But she’d been raised on the old models. Her father taught her to fly in them and had her work on duel engines enough to know how far she could push them. It was what made her interested in science in the first place. The knowing of how things were made. How to make them work and come alive. Although she doubted she could fix an engine now, she still remembered the way perfectly synchronized engines felt under her fingertips and to never, ever flood them if they weren’t.
Once in the city she took a room in a motel and started searching for ways to get Brian off the planet. On Beta Earth, the Compound had the reign of all planet-wide surveillance. If she stayed there they would find her within a matter of days. Even Earth and Deltan were too close. Her best option was to take Brian as far away as she could. Perhaps she could join a ship’s crew or a new far off colony. Somewhere far away out of the Compound’s reach.
She located the docking stations and looked up the departures in the next three weeks. There were two. The first was a ship called the Galaxy V. It was a commercial ship that carried tourists and business people between the three main planets and was scheduled to leave in a week. The second was called Rosebud’s Revenge and was a cargo ship. It was scheduled to leave in three weeks.
Allia figured she would check both ships out and set off for the docking stations. The streets were pretty quiet, but as she drew nearer to the docking stations more and more people rushed about. There were vehicles with cargo, fuel and other materials backing up and landing all around her. She could make out the Galaxy V from a whole street away. It was huge. White panels and silvery accents covered the parts that she could see rising above the buildings and warehouse.
As she entered the main hanger she searched for the first person in uniform. A woman with her blonde hair pulled into a tight bun.
“Excuse me,” Allia said. “I’m looking for passage.”
“See the ticket desk,” the woman said without looking up and she jerked a thumb at the left side of the building.
Allia turned and made her way over to the glass doors leading to a brightly lit room with counters. She hesitated just a moment before crossing under the scanner. It would mean the Compound would know she was there if they were tracking her. They would also be able to respond faster once they knew Brian was missing. She might not make it off the ground.
It took fifteen minutes of awkward waiting outside the door, before one of the blue shirted employees came out from behind the counter and exited the door. Allia wondered if she should leave more than once, but she refused to let her feet walk away without talking to one person.
“Excuse me,” Allia said hurrying after the young man. “What would I have to do to get passage on this ship?”
“You need to check inside.”
“I know, but I just want to know about the process, not to actually buy one.” Yet.
The man stopped and turned around, a tired look on his face. His eyes glanced down at her blue card in her palm.
“You’d need exit permits from Beta Earth and entrance permits to your destination. Galaxy V is going to Deltan and then back to Beta Earth. Unless you already have entrance permits to Deltan that process will take five months. And the ticket would be about 20k.”
Five months? Allia muttered a quick thanks although the man was already walking away. She slowly followed him out of the docking area and then looked up to see where Rosebud’s Revenge might be located. Unlike Galaxy V which she could see streets away, the only indication of Rosebud’s Revenge were the few people walking to and from the eighth hanger.
She was relieved to see that there were no scanners on the doorway of the eighth hanger, but the men inside wore clothes that hadn’t been washed and automatically cast wary, angry eyes at her when she stepped inside. It took several tries to get someone to talk to her, but she finally found a young man not more than 19 who didn’t look quite as hardened as the others. He gave her directions to the loading dock where she could find a Captain T.J. Harrell and then he quickly stalked away.
The first thing Allia noticed as she entered the loading dock was the sharp stench of manure and then her ears were assaulted with the rumble of a deep engine and the riot of cows and chickens all crying to be free. Large wooden crates, some completely covered and others with open slats were stacked so thickly in the room there was only a small path. Allia strode through them with care making sure her clothes did not touch the splintered wood and tear.
A group of men stood in the center of the loading area. They were circled around two handheld devices and the men were arguing and jabbing their oily fingers at the screens and the crates. Allia waited for a few minutes until two of the men stomped off. A broad shouldered man with a trimmed goatee and baseball cap with a sports logo Allia didn’t recognize. Probably because the team was from a different planet, although it could have been on Beta Earth since she couldn’t remember the last time she’d watched a game.
“Captain Harrell?” Allia asked.
The man’s eyes hardened as soon as he saw her. “I told the last guy I have no comment.”
“What?” Allia blinked. “No, I’m not a reporter... My name is Allia Washington. I wanted to ask about purchasing a ticket.”
Captain Harrell’s expression didn’t change much, but it softened just enough that Allia felt it was okay to keep talking.
“I mean. I actually need two tickets. One adult and one child.”
“This isn’t a passenger ship,” Captain Harrell stated. He eyed her from the soles of her shoes to the top of her graying hair. She was glad she wasn’t wearing the traditional Compound uniform.
“I know.”
“Our flight path doesn’t take us to Deltan or Earth and the space stations we visit are not child friendly.”
“But you are departing in the next three weeks and I can find another passage from a space station.”
The Captain shrugged his shoulders. “All passengers need certified travel documents including entrance and exit permits presented a week in advance. If you have that then there shouldn’t be a problem.”
Again she would need travel documents. “Is there a way to travel without all the permits?”
“Are you talking about a bribe?” The Captian’s tone grew dark.
Allia shook her head. “No, I was just looking for other options.” Her voice faded a bit at each word until she couldn’t hear herself over the noise of the engine and animals. Her skin grew hot and she knew her face was turning red. This man would not help her. He’d insinuated that she wanted him to break the law. And it was with a start that she realized she did.
A cow kicked a nearby crate and Allia’s arm jerked at the sound. Her heart was sinking fast. There was no way to get an exit permit. Not without alerting the Compound that she intended to take her son and run.
She was walking down an abandoned street before she realized she’d even left the dock. The buildings and street names were unfamiliar to her. One of the suns had already set leaving the other to cast deep shadows although it was still the early afternoon.
For a moment she paused wondering which way to turn.
In the silence there was a dry squeak like rusted metal on rusted metal. She followed her ears and saw a surveillance camera turning from pointing down another street to face Allia’s position. The rusted mounting made the camera jerk and pause as it tried to obey a command to move with parts that didn’t have the capacity to do so. For the next few seconds she was still out of the camera’s view. There was no way to know if this was a routine change of position or if someone was watching her, but the reminder that she was not alone was enough to send her scurrying around the next corner and the next until she was certain the city’s surveillance could not see her.
At her next turn she found herself facing an alley with a dead end. The concrete grew cold under her feet as the scent of rotting meat and urine curled around her nose. A young boy the same age as Brian froze in the midst of reaching into a dumpster. His blue eyes watched her with the weary alertness of a raccoon. Then he went back to his search, yet she knew he was still very much aware of her.
The boy was so small and frail. She wondered where his parents were or if he had a place to stay. He found a half-eaten sandwich and immediately began stuffing it in his mouth. Allia was horrified and stepped forward to stop him, but the boy sensed her movement and jumped down from the dumpster. He ran to the end of the alley, pulled up a rusty grate and slipped down into the water drain under the street.
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell the boy to wait, but what would be the point. She wouldn’t be able to give him a lift home and all of her money was invested in the broken dream of leaving the planet. She could have taken the boy to social services or an orphanage. She paused. Even an orphanage would be better for Brian than the Compound was. Suddenly her feet found purpose and she navigated the streets with the aid of a map on her handheld until she found the nearest orphanage.
It was in the heart of the poor section of the city, but Allia liked that. The surveillance was ancient and some of the street cameras she saw had frayed and rusted wires connecting to them. It meant that her son would have less of a chance to be spotted by the Compound. The orphanage itself was not much better though. There were three cracked windows and one window on the third floor was completely boarded up. Long dried grass grew in the places where there was grass and not powdered dirt. Paint peeled and cracked on the walls like spider webs and before she stepped on the sidewalk to the front door she could hear shouts and screams from inside.
As she made her way to the main door, she noticed there were several children playing quietly in the yard almost hiding behind the tall grass. Without knocking she entered the orphanage and stopped the first adult she saw, a round woman with a red face and her gray hair pulled back.
“Who should I talk to about placing a child here?” Allia asked.
“Father Merrick’s in charge. Down the hall.” The woman pointed to the right.
Allia followed the hall pressing herself against the wall when four boys ran by. The only open door had the word ‘office’ painted in white block letters, but Allia still felt the need to know for sure. An older woman said, “Come in.” She had her back to the door and her small wiry frame was stretched as far as it would go trying to put a book back on the top shelf.
“I’m here to see Father Merrick,” Allia said.
“Name?”
“Allia Washington.”
“Do you have an appointment?”
“No.”
“Wait here.” The woman rapped twice on the door inside the room and then opened the door without waiting. “Father, there’s a woman here to see you. An Allia Washington.”
She could see the Father look up and see her as he said, “Show her in.”
The secretary waved her hand and Allia squeezed past her to enter the room. Wood paneling covered the walls and a flag in the corner next to a painting of a gentleman that reminded Allia of her grandfather, a strict man who always expected the truth. Everything had a small coating of dust, except the desk and the chairs, and musty air filled her nose making her want to sneeze.
“Please be seated.” Father Merrick pointed an opened hand at an empty chair. “How can I help you?”
“I heard you take in orphans and care for them,” Allia said.
“I do.”
“I have a boy, four years old, who needs a place to live.” Her fingers caught and twisted at the fabric of her pants.
“I’m sorry. Perhaps you did not understand. We don’t take in children with living parents.”
Allia nodded. “I do understand, but I cannot care for him where I live. He is not safe.”
“There are many government programs I am sure you could apply for that will give you food, shelter and clothes. I can help you find the ones right for you--”
“I can’t go to the government.” Allia stood up, as if by that single act she could rise higher than the threat she feared. “You are my last hope.”
“But I cannot take in a child who is not an orphan. Our resources are limited enough as it is.”
“They will kill him.” Allia placed her hands on his desk and leaned over it. Then she spun around and began to pace across the room. There had to be a way she could make him understand. “I had a young charge for thirteen years and when she died they promised me that my son would never have to endure what she did. They--they tortured her, with their new experimental treatments and the training they put her through. But she died before they got what they wanted from her. I found a release form for my son to enter into the candidate program and if he does they will push him until he dies or they kill him. I have to get him out before that happens. You must help me.”
Father Merrick dropped his gaze to the desk, his fingers straightened papers. “I can’t. Even if I could make an exception for your son, to go against the Compound is more than I am prepared to do. I’m sorry.”
“Please.” Allia caught the Father’s eye, but then he looked away.
“I am sorry, truly I am.”
There was no way she could convince him. She could see that in his eyes, kind though they were. He was just too overwhelmed to take on the Compound as well. But this was the life of her son and he was slipping away. She rushed out of the room, through the main door and into the street and she kept going until she found her way back to the motel. Once her room door was closed behind her she collapsed on her bed with thoughts and disappointments swirling around her. Unable to change the bend in her neck to work around a lump in the pillow she lay there. At first tears came, but then they slowed to a stop. A maid entered the room and checked her pulse before cleaning and leaving again. Still Allia didn’t feel like moving.
She kept going over all the encounters she had. No one was going to help her. No one was going to help her son. The more she thought about Brian the worse she felt. How could she see him again knowing that she couldn’t save him? Those thoughts tormented her again and again until she curled up inside and screamed. Yet when she did that Brian’s face appeared. His dark brown eyes and baby teeth smile. She couldn’t give up. Not as long as he was alive. Slowly she sat up in bed. The knob was jiggled and the maid entered again.
“Oh good, you are up,” she said.
“What time is it?” Allia asked. Her mouth was dry and her voice cracked.
“It’s 5pm. On Tuesday.” The maid handed her a glass of water and Allia sipped it. Her whole body seemed to awaken at the meager liquid and started to remind her of aches. Her neck in particular was stiff and protested at every movement.
Allia tried hard to remember. “What day did I come here?”
“Last Tuesday,” the maid said. “I was afraid you died.”
With a shake of her head Allia tried to remember a whole week going by, but she couldn’t. The Compound would be wondering where she was. They had only given her two days off and she’d taken a whole week.
“I need....” Allia tried to stand up but her head began to buzz and her knees buckled. She plopped down on the bed.
“I’ll have some dinner brought up and start you a warm bath.” Then the maid was gone.
After eating and taking a bath she almost felt normal. When her muscles shook she only had to remind herself that she was doing this for Brian and they would shudder to a stop. She settled her tab and took a speeder back to the Compound. No one really noticed her when she came into the main house. A gardener looked through the landing area window, but then went back to raking.
She felt old. Her inspection in the motel bathroom had shown her a few more white hairs than she’d had last week and several more wrinkles around her mouth. Although she knew she should report straight to Ninth Official Yama she had to stop by the nursery first. In the hall looking through the glass at the children playing was Eighteenth Official Anderson, a man she had seen around, but never spoke to. She paused near the glass and saw Brian coloring on paper, surrounded on either side by one-year-old girls. She glanced over at Eighteenth Official Anderson and realized that he’d been promoted. His uniform now had a seven stitched on the sleeve in gold thread. He’d moved up since the last time she saw him and she wondered what he’d done to jump that high. Or what Seventh Official Kochowski had done to be moved. She didn’t feel like talking so she muttered a quick, “Congratulations, sir,” and left the moment he acknowledged it with a curt nod.
The days slipped by somehow. There was a stern talk and then Allia was reinstated into the daily routine of the science lab. She visited the nursery every chance she had and it was while she was on her way there with two days left before Brian officially began training that her handheld chirped with a video message.
“Hello?” she answered after pressing her thumb to the screen. It was Captain Harrell.
He cleared his throat and glanced at something off screen. “It seems as though I have an opening, if you are still interested.”
Allia’s heart stopped.
“Are you?”
She nodded.
“It’s going to be expensive.”
“I have money,” Allia said. The words rushed out of her quickly. She would spend every cent she had.
“Be at the dock by tomorrow night 12 at the latest. If you’re not there we’ll leave without you.” His eyes shifted to the screen and then away.
“I’ll be there.” She could barely get the words out around the excitement in her mouth. Hope flooded her mind and clouded her vision as she felt for the button that would turn off the call. Instantly her mind began to run through when the best time to take Brian would be and how to get to the city with him. Tomorrow after the children had gone to bed was when they had the least security. The caretakers would have rotating night shifts so most would be off.
Instead of going on to see Brian she turned back to the Science Labs and worked on some of her paperwork. She waited until the middle of the night when everyone else was gone and then checked the supply closet for chloroform to drug the nursery workers and Brian. He might not be comfortable coming with her. They hadn’t spent much time together and even though she often watched him from behind the glass, he did not see her. They didn’t really interact often and she was more of a stranger. She hated the thought of drugging him but she could not take the risk that he would scream or cry at the wrong moment.
Next to the supply closet was the refrigerator where all the candidate samples were kept. She slipped inside and scanned all the candidate numbers until she found Brian’s. Not only did they have the usual emergency supply of blood, marrow and stem-cells that she needed in case Brian was injured, but they also had vials marked for Science Lab 1, where the DNA splicing too place. The insides of her veins quivered. They were not going to use her son’s DNA to make others with his same abilities. She would not let them. Brian was unique and he would stay unique. The Compound would rue the day they broke their promise to her. They would gain nothing from him.
She stashed all the vials, Brian’s emergency fluids and the chloroform in a refrigerated carrying case and then placed that in a vinyl bag which she then kept under her desk where her toes could keep track of it at any moment. All night long she watched the cameras in the nursery to get an idea of how often the nursery workers moved. Then she waited like a bird with an empty nest as the hours and minutes of the day slipped by. She didn’t care that she hadn’t slept. The excitement of what she was about to do filled her with adrenaline.
As both suns set and the world turned dark Allia’s heart beat faster. She claimed fatigue and left work after dinnertime with her bag clinging tightly to her shoulder. Once she was alone in her room she transferred the vials into a bigger bag, added several changes of clothes along with the few keepsakes she’d kept from her family, like the digital video log of the past 50 Christmases and family reunions her mom would always ask if she still had and would probably replace if she said she didn’t. It might be fun to show them to Brian one day when he asked about their family. In addition she packed every item of value that she could possible use to barter with and stuffed them all in the bag. A rather large amount of space remained, but she would need to pack some things for Brian too. When the staff brought her dinner she took what food she thought Brian would like and stored it in the refrigerated bag next to the vials.
After finding a suitable hand towel from her bathroom, she placed it on her dresser with the chloroform and then she waited. All of her packing and prep had given her an hour to watch slip by. She sat for five minutes and then jumped up to check her closet. Most of her clothes she could do without, but when her hand touched her tan overcoat she knew she would have to take it. Who knew what kind of weather they would be going into? It was too bulky to fit in her bag, so she slipped it on and then returned to sitting on her bed.
By 11:20 she convinced herself that she needed to make the speeder ready. She grabbed all her stuff and tiptoed out into the hall. With her handheld connected to the Compound surveillance, something her position as a trainer had given her since they had to know the condition of their candidates at all times, she checked the cameras of each hall before walking in it.
Once in the speeder bay she found the same speeder she had used before and put the bag inside it. Then she checked the GPS locator and disabled it. Secretly she was proud that she still remembered where they were located. A glance at the clock on her handheld showed that it was 11:32. It was close enough, especially if she counted how long it would take her to sneak into the nursery area.
Carefully she exited the bay and crept up five levels to the nursery floor. The hall was dark with blue floor lights every three feet. Allia soaked the hand towel with the chloroform, wrinkling her nose and holding her breath against the sweet scent. It was definitely strong enough.
The room Brian slept in was the fifth door on the left and the room where the nursery worker’s kept a nightly vigil was the first on the right, a room that lit up the hall with the glare from several computer monitors. Allia paused outside the door frame and tried to breathe. She would just slip in as if she belonged, ask the worker when the relief was coming and then inch close enough to throw the towel over the person’s mouth and nose. Her hands shook and she tightened them into fists. With every fiber in her being she wanted to be somewhere else. Horrible images of a violent struggle, of chairs knocking over and monitors smashing on the floor, of the police dragging her away while Brian clung to a nurse filled her mouth with fear and clouded her eyes so that she could see nothing and only hear the rapid pounding of her heart.
With three quick gasps she gathered her courage, closed her eyes and stepped into the doorway.
No one screamed.
No chair creaked.
No one even said, “What are you doing here?”
Her eyes flew open. When the spots cleared from her eyes she saw that there was a nurse sitting in the chair in front of the monitors, but her head was arched back on the chair and her mouth open in the silent pause of a snore. The nurse breathed out a sound like elephants stampeding. Allia paused only a moment before she gently held the chloroform to the nurse’s mouth and nose. There was no struggle but after a few moments the snoring quieted into a relaxed, deep sleep.
A thrill shot through Allia’s fingers traveling around her whole body. She’d done it. With a spring in her step like she hadn’t felt in years she walked down the hall and opened the door to her son’s room. There he was sleeping peacefully in his bed, his dark hair tangled about his face. The light from the hall didn’t make him stir. His soft breathing was like the sound of angels singing and she wanted to watch him like this forever.
But time would not let her. The sooner she left the bigger head start she would have. So she crept up to Brian and placed the hand towel over his nose and mouth. A pain shot through her chest as she did it. How could she do this to her son? Her stomach twisted and then turned inside out when Brian whimpered through the muffled fabric. She quickly pulled it away and Brian was still breathing, still sleeping. Convincing herself that it worked she scooped him up into her arms and rushed out of the room.
He was heavier than he looked and his body was long and wiry so his legs flopped at her knees. She managed to balance both him and her handheld to check the halls. Only once did she have to stop and lean him against the wall for a brief break. As she entered the speeder bay her hand slipped and Brian’s arm sagged onto her handheld. The extra weight made it too heavy and the handheld slipped from her fingers and skittered across the floor. The noise shattered the silence of the speeder bay and Allia’s breath stopped.
She rushed to the speeder practically dumped Brian in the passenger seat and scooped up the handheld slipping it into her pocket on her way to the driver’s side. Then she was in her seat and starting the engines. The bay doors were already opened and she punched the gas making the speeder jerk up into the night sky. She glanced down at Brian and realized she hadn’t grabbed any clothes for him. She wanted to curse. How had she forgotten that? But there was no going back now.
The clock on the dashboard read 11:52. Just eight minutes to get to the loading bay. Her blood pumped as fast as the gas pumped to the duel engines and she threw everything she could into the speed. The skyline of Highton rose before her one second and she was weaving through the giant buildings the next. Each one seemed dark and forbidding as if warning this plan would never work and she should turn back while she had the chance.
She spotted the loading bay of the eighth hanger and even though dropping speeders onto streets that weren’t designated safe for speeders was illegal, she did it anyway drifting to a stop right in front of the main door. A man by a side door glared at her and gave her a rude gesture, but she had five minutes left. She leaped out of the driver’s door and hurried over to the passenger side. Grabbing the bag first, she hoisted it onto her shoulder before she gently scooped Brian up and clutched him to her chest. With her feet going as fast as she could she rushed through the main doors.
Unlike the Compound the loading dock was full of men and machinery moving everywhere. Loud shouts and rumbles clogged the air and yet Brian stayed fast asleep. She double checked for her handheld, but it was still in her pocket. With it she would be able to transfer all her funds wherever they needed her to. Recognizing the path to the ship from her last visit, she speed walked across the open area to get away from all the busyness.
A man with a large box on his shoulder blocked her way and she had to wait until he passed before she could continue. In the loading bay everything looked different. There were no crates or chickens or cows. Not even a hint that they had existed on the concrete floor. Everything was gone and the room felt much bigger and a tad more ominous somehow. It could have been the magnitude of the ship itself or the fact that it had dim flames hissing and popping every so often.
“You’re right on time,” a voice said behind her.
Allia turned to find Captain Harrell standing at her shoulder. He wasn’t looking at her, but stared up at his ship.
“Did you bring the money?”
She nodded and switched Brian to her left arm to reach into her pocket with her right. There had been no talk of the amount so she wasn’t sure if she would have anything left when the transaction was done.
“Not here.” Captain Harrell glanced behind him.
“When will the ship leave? Tonight?” she asked.
“This way,” the Captain said walking across the large bay toward the office doors. “We wouldn’t want your friends at the Compound seeing us.”
Instantly her eyes flew up to the corners of the ceiling, but she couldn’t find the cameras. Not that the visible absence of them meant anything. She had gone ten steps before she realized what the Captain had said.
“How did you know I have connections at the Compound?”
“I make it a point to know about my passengers.” He threw the comment over his shoulder, but there was a distant tone in his voice as if he were trying too hard to sound casual.
“When will the ship depart?” Allia asked again, but Captain Harrell didn’t answer. She knew they would need to leave soon if they were to escape from the Compound’s reach and she had been under the impression that they were leaving at 12, but the Captain sauntered across the bay as if he had time to spare.
She glanced up at the rafters again and then back at the door. It wouldn’t have surprised her to see Officials walking through it to get her, a vision that would be true sooner than later. She wasn’t sure when they would realize that Brian was missing. It could have been five minutes after she left or not until first dawn, but either way they would be coming for her. Hoisting Brian higher on her shoulder she walked faster and hoped this transaction would be over soon so that the ship could leave.
“Captain.” Three men approached from the back of the bay behind the ship. The one who spoke was in the middle and held a paper-sized handheld that was nearly translucent. Allia could see numbers and lines, but could not read them since they were backwards and not layered for her eyes.
“Not now Eph.” A slight warning flitted in the man’s name and the Captain didn’t stop walking.
Eph’s eyes were glued to the handheld as he slid information back and forth. He continued to say, “The ship’s departure has been rescheduled for next Friday, like you requested.”
The words hit Allia’s ears one by one and her feet stopped.
“Take your ear buds out, Eph. I said not now.”
“Sorry, sir. But they need a final signature from you on the contents of our cargo as of five minutes ago. Here.” Eph tapped a button making the handheld legible to all and offered it to the Captain.
Allia didn’t wait to see what happened next. She wheeled around and sped toward the exit. She couldn’t wait until next Friday. It was not possible.
Inside she felt like a fool. The Captain was obviously only interested in getting her money and if the Compound arrested her so much the better. One less hassle to deal with on a long space voyage. Her mind went over all the strange looks and tones the Captain had when he called and in the last five minutes. She should have known better and now it was too late to wait. Something had to be done to save Brian now or they would only catch her and take him back. He would never even know her or how she’d tried to save his life.
She weaved through the men and was on the other side of the building when she heard the Captain’s voice yelling for her to stop and let him explain. What could he say? Nothing he did would help her now unless he knew how to get her off the planet in the next five minutes and even if he said he did, she wouldn’t be able to trust him.
He must not have cared enough to come after her because she had time to strap in her son and wipe away a stray tear before starting the engines and he never appeared. The speeder didn’t move. Where would she go? All her planning wasted--worse--ruined. There was no where she could go. She would be parted from Brian forever. All she wanted was for him to live. If she went to prison or worse spent the rest of her life in a mental institute everyday would be a reminder that he was helpless and alone. And he probably wouldn’t even realize it because the Compound had a way of getting under your skin and convincing you that you are doing the right thing.
In that moment she knew where to go and what to do. She might never have the chance to watch Brian grow up, but she could make sure the Compound would miss that too. Brian was all that mattered. She hopped out of the speeder and ran to the nearby public phone station. It was at the end of the building and out of the view of all cameras. She made a quick call and rushed back. The speeder controls leaped to life and the speeder rose into the sky. She’d have to find a good, visible spot on the street with the rusty camera. It took one slow pass to figure out which way the camera was facing and then she landed the speeder, careful not to seem like she was trying to center it in the camera’s field of vision.
Then she waited. Brian was still fast asleep. So peaceful. So perfect. It occurred to Allia that this might be the best memory she had of him. She brushed back his hair and sighed. Without another thought she exited the speeder, strapped on the bag and wrapped Brian under her coat letting his face appear a moment before covering it up. Then she walked out of the camera range, her head high.
True to his word Father Merrick had rushed out of his bed and grabbed a taxi to drive him to the alley. And it was empty. She told him to wait by the nearest bar and for the driver to go with him. Opening the back door she placed Brian on the seat.
A thought hit her that he would have all sorts of questions and might even discover his connection to the Compound one day. A connection the Compound would insist remained and need to be continued. She picked up a scrap piece of paper sticking out from under the floor mat and wrote, Never tell him the truth. Anything more than that would contain a clue and Brian must never know where he came from.
Before she could change her mind or hesitate, she kissed his forehead and took off the bag wrapping it in her coat, like Brian had been. It was a good thing she had thought to take those vials. There would be DNA evidence to prove Brian was with her. The Compound would no longer be looking for a living boy and would chalk this up to the tragic actions of an unstable woman.
With slow, firm steps she walked back to the speeder. A small mist hovered inches above the street and the sound of her heels clicking echoed against the buildings. Every breath felt fresh with clean air. The overheated trash and tired concrete scents were gone. Even the dark sky seemed to signal that a new life was possible, one that was as free and deep as the universe itself.
The camera called for her to notice it but she stared at the speeder door like her life depended on it. With one hand clutching at the bag she opened the door and slipped into the driver’s seat. She fiddled with the ignition wires and faked three starts, enough to place the duel engines out of sync.
Down the street out of the camera’s range Father Merrick ran into view, his head revolving up and down the street until he saw her sitting in the speeder. His eyes connected with her. The engines grinded as they dropped out of sync and his eyebrows rose. He must have been around older models too.
Without a word he just nodded. He would take care of Brian and keep him out of the Compound’s grasp. She smiled at him, a sad, weary smile. She was still smiling when she punched the gas and started the speeder for the last time.