Merida couldn't quite come to terms with what she'd just done. She'd threatened people at the point of a sword before but she'd never actually killed someone. Seeing the light vanish from his eyes and the strangled cry that emitted from his throat, she couldn't forget something like that.
Drago's body was pushed into the sea by the assembled Vikings who cheered delightedly, treating Merida as a hero. The bad guy turned good. While everyone celebrated and cheered, she slipped away, finding the dragon that used to belong to Stoick and giving him a small pat on the snout.
"How about you give me a ride out of here, yeah?" she asked him quietly. "Neither of us really fit in here, do we?" He nuzzled her hand in reply and she turned back one more time. No one seemed to be following her. Merida sighed and climbed onto the reptile's back, but just as she was ready to take off, she was distracted. Someone was running towards her, someone who had a distinctive style of running they must have had to adapt to due to a prosthetic leg.
"What're you doing?" Hiccup asked. His eyes were wide and his brow was furrowed. Merida didn't look at him.
"What does it look like?" She twiddled her thumbs between her fingers. "I can't stay here. I'm not like you. I don't have a family or a home to go to, without trapping I'm nothing. Now that's gone; I'm not complaining, but I don't have anything else credible about me."
"You're a good shot," Hiccup mumbled nervously but when he saw her eyes fill with tears he realised it was obviously the wrong thing to say. "What? What did I say?"
"I killed someone," she whispered, her head in her hands. "I did it and it, oh Gods, it was so easy, you just had to loose the arrow and it wasn't like it was anything different from shooting at a target but the heart is the bullseye and you had to do it or you'd die instead and it's whether you'd want to live with the guilt or die and I'm so selfish!" She broke down and slipped off Skullcrusher's back, sitting on the ground, crying. "I swear - he'd have killed everyone else and that was the only reason I did it! He'd - he'd have killed you..."
She couldn't speak anymore. Hiccup knelt beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder, looking at her with a gaze that seemed to flicker.
"I'd have done the same for you," he whispered. "I'd have done everything I could to save you. I'd have lived with the guilt for years after to save you. You are amazing Merida. You're one of the bravest people I know and please, please, don't leave Berk now. I don't think I - we - are ready to let you go. We can't lose you. Everyone here cares about you, so much."
"Except Astrid," she replied, looking at the ground. "She hates me. I swear, she'd see me banished for what I did to her dragon back when I met you."
"You didn't know what you were doing," Hiccup said gently. "Everyone on this island used to hate dragons as much as you did when they didn't know what a dragon's loyalty really means, her most of all. You should have seen her in training!" Merida smiled very weakly and Hiccup continued, spurred on, "I swear, she hated me too. She pretty much attacked me when she saw I was doing better than her."
"No," Merida whispered, shocked. Hiccup nodded.
"She threatened me at the point of an axe, dropped said axe on my head, kicked me in the face and punched me before kissing me."
"Kissing you?"
"Yes. I thought it was on the spur of the moment. Turns out it was really. She'd never really felt many feelings for me and we've been friends but I think she thought more of it than I dad. I guess that's why I've stayed single."
"Really?" Merida asked. "I'd have thought half the village would be after you, the famous dragon rider."
"Not exactly," Hiccup sighed. "I'm not exactly someone's idea of an ideal husband. Who'd want a man who's constantly talking about his pet dragon, riding off every hour of the day and night because they need the adrenaline rush so bad and the only thing they can offer them is home made trinkets they've made in the smithy?"
"You know," Merida said quietly, "that doesn't sound all bad." Hiccup's eyes snapped up to meet her gaze and she grew nervous. "I mean - you're not a bad person, as, you know, I've seen how good and kind you are, and you could offer so much - you're the most loyal and - courageous and - you - well..."
She didn't speak anymore. Hiccup had knelt down, right next to her, and placed a tentative hand on her cheek, tracing it with his thumb gently. The callouses there were rough but his hand was warm and Merida felt her eyelids fluttering gently, her heart rate getting faster and faster without her being conscious of it. His eyes were closing too, very slowly, and then there was no space between them at all as their lips met for the first time and it felt like the world was ending but it wasn't and everything was fire and flame and smoke and as he drew away he only whispered two words, breathless and ragged.
"Please, stay." His forehead was resting upon hers and his eyes were so green they hurt. "For me. I know it's selfish, I know it is, but ..."
"I can't." Merida's voice faltered as she spoke. "I want to, dear gods I want to -"
"Then why?"
"I don't belong here. I will never belong here. This is a life you must lead, as the new chief. You deserve better than an ex dragon trapper, Hiccup. Surely you understand that."
"I don't want to be a chief!" Hiccup stood, rubbing his eyes with his hands and wringing them together in anguish. "I can't do what my dad did! I want to be free, to fly, to have adventures! I want to find new species of dragons and catalogue them so I can leave a lasting legacy! I just want to be in control of my life!"
"Then bestow your duties upon someone who can do it."
A voice spoke up from behind him. It was Gobber, limping towards them.
"I know you're not ready for this, Hiccup," he sighed, "and leadership like that was never your strong point as such. Who do you know who'd be good at leadership? Who's been born to do this all their lives, who trained so hard they were prepared to put the chief's son out of the way in dragon training?"
"Astrid," Hiccup muttered, then his face broke into smile. "Gobber, you're a genius! She's born to do this!"
"You can't just do that to her Hiccup," Merida stood up too, stopping him walking off by holding onto his arm. "It's a huge responsibility and she won't like you running away from responsibility because I showed up."
Hiccup sighed, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His lungs filled slowly and he exhaled gently, as though thinking deeply, or making a decision. He stepped forward, taking her hands in his.
"Rule with me."
"What?"
"Rule with me!"
"Hiccup - I can't. I can't stay here. I told you."
"Merida -"
"Hiccup, I have to get away from here. From rules and responsibility. I can't be tied to land like an anchor."
"Then I'll come with you."
"You have a duty to your people."
Eyes closed and head hung, a tear ran from Hiccup's eye and he ran his fingers through his fringe. She wiped it away gently with her thumb, her leather bracer tickling his cheek ever so slightly. His eyes opened to meet her and the gap between them closed. Their lips moulded together softly and the dragon rider held onto her as though she would disappear.
"I've lost my father," he whispered. "I can't lose you too."
"Hiccup," she breathed, "I promised that I would never let myself fall for anyone. I ran away from home because my parents wanted to marry me to a rich lord. I was a princess of Scotland, lost forever. They thought I was dead. I don't know what they know now, but I can't go back on my word."
"You don't feel - anything?"
"Who said I didn't feel anything? Why do you think I'm so scared?"
"Stay with me," he implored her, "so you don't have to be. Please."
"I will come back," she promised. "I will come back, when I've thought it through. I will come back, when I can and I'll come back if you still want me."
"I will wait for you," he pledged. "I will wait."
*~*~*
He waited.
She never came back.
Her body was found, still in Skullcrusher's saddle. She had engaged in a battle with some unfriendly people in an unfamiliar territory and taken a blow to the head. Realising she was dying, she told Skullcrusher to head for Berk, so she might see Hiccup one last time.
When he saw her still-warm body, he didn't speak; he took her into his arms and carried her into the town, his eyes filling more and more with countless tears that didn't stop for days.
The chief buried her with all the honours normally bestowed upon a queen.
It was said that he didn't smile again.
Some say that if you visit where she is buried today, you can still see a shadowy figure kneel beside the grave, kiss the cold earth and rest his head on the old and worn gravestone, whispering to her.
"I should have come with you."
*~*~*
A/N BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING. Sorry for all who thought this would be a happy go lucky Mericcup extravaganza - that's not the way I operate most of the time. Don't blame me - John Green did it too. If you enjoyed this book (bar this chapter) it'd be great if you visited my other book The Big Four - One Life. I've been working on it for a while and it should be good when it gets going. Thanks for taking the time to read this :)