•Meadow•
The job was finished in time for dinner, a hot soup made from dried rabbit meat and Nolan's hot cider. I went unnoticed, not speaking, just watching; hearing their laughter and seeing the brightness of their smiles, but a sadness overtook me. Why have I never felt this way?
On many occasions, I enjoyed hearing the laughter of others, but as Chase said, I have never fit in. If he could tell, surely the others could sense it as well. I longed for the joy that the others had, was that so selfish?
I had put on my grey sleeveless top and hung my sweater to dry, wrapping myself in Peter's cloak to stay warm. His was heavier than my own, with more intricate detail along the edge and the inside was lined with fur and secretly, I loved the scent of it. It wasn't a pleasant smell, like peppermint or flowers, it was just him and that alone was comforting.
I considered that this would be one of the last times watching the boys and their happy faces and conversation, that is if I decided to leave, and if Peter granted me my request.
After the hullabaloo had died and everyone retreated outside for a fire under the stars, Peter called my name as I started out of the tent.
"Meadow."
I turned to him, spotting him in the darkness beside the tent walls, almost ashamedly peering up into his eyes as the fire from the pit reflected off of them. "Yes, Peter?"
"Walk with me." he said simply.
I approached him slowly, glancing back at the boys to see if anyone would notice my absence. No one even bothered to glance in my direction.
I started walking beside Peter, recognizing the path as the one I had first taken the night I arrived. Not a word was spoken between us as we walked, but I stopped, grabbing his hand.
"Peter, there's something I should've done before and I didn't. You were right, I was buried so deeply in my pride that I couldn't see the pain I'd caused you and I.. I'm so sorry." I explained, hoping that he would notice my sincerity.
"I should've listened to you when you Chase the first time. I was just so angry that you sided with James that I didn't want to believe you." he drew my closer by my hands and held me against his chest, the sound of his heartbeat steady against my head. "There's something I want to show you."
He lead me down the path where the bed of flowers lie in the clearing. This is where it all began.
"This is what you wanted to show me?" I questioned, but he didn't answer. Instead, he stood in the center of the flowers, beckoning me to mirror his actions.
I followed him to where he stood and he bent to pick a dandelion from the array of wildflowers. He ran it between his fingers and palm, all of the seeds falling off of the stem. He held it in his hand, standing close to me and only opening his hand large enough for the soft white sprouts show without the wind carrying them away. He glanced between my eyes, a playful smirk dancing across his face. "Close your eyes." he said, before blowing the handful of delicate seeds in front of me. I did as told, closing my eyes.
"Count to ten."
One..
Two..
Three..
The wind grew stronger, whipping my hair around my face..
Four..
Five..
Six..
I could feel his fingers lace in mine...
Seven..
Eight..
Nine..
"Ten." he said, an echoing ringing sound buzzing in my ears. "Open your eyes."
I opened my eyes, only to find that we were no longer in the bed of flowers, but in a room. A real room with real walls.
A nursery.
"What is this?" I asked Peter, his hand still holding onto mine.
"You'll find out."
An eerie feeling blanketed the room, stars painted across the light walls and an empty crib in the middle of the room along with a dresser and rocking chair on either side of it. A stuffed bear sat in the rocking chair and dust covered the furniture, but in the center of the room was a broken glass figure; its pieces scattered across the floor. "What happened?" I whispered as though speaking would cause something else to break.
"There was a couple that had been trying for a baby for a very long time. Time and again, people beat them down and told them they couldn't have a child; that it wasn't possible, but the couple was determined to finally have a child." Peter spoke softly and slowly as if trying to remember, "Against all odds, the mother found out she was pregnant with a baby boy." he smiled looking at me, but swallowed and glanced back at the darkness filled room. "But after the baby was born, death swept him away from his parents during the night without warning and that is why there is broken glass and everything is covered in dust. The nursery was never used." his voice lowered. "But every day for a year, his mother would rock in that chair weeping for her lost child."
"Why are we here?" I asked, walking across the room and noticing a stack of story books, and a music box resting on top of the dresser.
"The baby was-"
"Peter." I spoke, a hush falling over the room.
I picked up the silver box between my hands, reading the words engraved on it again and again 'For my dearest, Peter..'
My heart stopped for a second and adrenaline raced through me.
"I am not what you believe me to be, Meadow." he said, his eyes full of sorrow.
"But how?" I questioned, my voice giving out.
"There is no explanation. In this world, I am but a distant memory, yet somehow I was spared of truly dying. Neverland is the place between life and death, and that's where I've been for my whole life and that is why I cannot leave."
He walked over to a lamp, flipping it on and letting the dim light illuminate the room just well enough to cast shadows across the floor. "I watched my mother fall apart every night while she rocked in that chair." he stared blankly at it for a moment. "No child should have to watch their mother grieve for their own death and because of that I grew angry. I couldn't speak to her or tell her that I was not truly dead. It was like being in a cage and not being able to leave."
And then I suddenly realized why Peter was the way he was. He had lived a life of grief and brokenness.
"The other boys, they died too?" I questioned. "And me? You brought me to Neverland because I was between life and death?"
Peter shook his head. "No. After my mother stopped coming to this room, the light stayed off and that's when I realized she had given up on her baby boy; moved on." he didn't dare look at me as his eyes glazed over. "So when I would visit this world, I noticed the joy that other families had being together and I longed for that. I brought the others to live with me; boys that felt lost just as I had. I also found I had the ability to take away their memories so that they would not want to return to their previous lives."
I didn't know how to respond.
"I know. It sounds quite morbid, doesn't it? But is it selfish for a dead boy to want a family?" he smiled pitifully, his eyes filled with tears.
Chills ran down my spine at the words that fell from his lips. They haunted me and left me feeling empty and cold.
"And this." he said, wiping his eyes and walking over to the dresser, winding up the small brass music box, letting the tune fill the room.
It was familiar; the song Peter played on his pipe many times. "It sounds like heartache." I said, listening to the sorrowful melody.
"My mother played it for me every night, again and again." he held the small box in hands, staring intently at its detail engraved in the surface.
"I was hoping that showing you who I was, would prove to you that I trust you.. and then you'd want to stay with me."
He knew. My heart broke knowing that he discovered my desire to leave and I knew he felt betrayed, because of what he'd heard in the woods.
"But it has only reminded me what it is to have a home and people that love you even if it is for a brief lifetime." he explained, his voice laced with a sincerity I had never heard before.
"My biggest regret is not letting Hope leave Neverland when she had asked me to, because I was angry toward her. I wanted to her to stay, believing that someday she would realize how I felt for her." he stopped, his eyes shifting to mine. "But that day never came."
"Peter, what are you saying?" I asked.
He swallowed, closing the music box and shutting off the haunting tune. "I cannot hold onto you until you are nothing, Meadow. There is a flame deep inside you that I know I will one day eventually squander." he placed his hand against my face, his whispers so intimate as he grew closer to me, running his thumb along my cheek. "I want to be better for you and I know.." he stopped, noticing the tears starting to fall down my cheeks. "That means letting go."
"But what about you? I can't leave you behind, Peter. It would break both of them us and you know it." I said, holding onto him and not wanting to release the grip I had on him for fear of him disappearing if I did.
"I have never felt so deeply moved by anyone in my entire life. You have loved me when I was unloveable, and for that I am thankful. That alone is enough for me. You are more than enough for me."
It was serene.
This moment that we lived in; I would remember it always. The sound of my sobs against his chest as my sweaty palms latched onto him with everything I had, but I knew that he loved me and that I loved him and for a quiet moment, that was all that we needed..
•••
A/N
Oh my gosh guys
Wow.
So the song that Peter's music box played is Liliam by Elfen Lied, music box so look that up if you want to know what they heard when Peter played his music box.
I'm honestly getting a lil sad because it's coming to an end. One. More. Chapter. Before the last one.
But the last chapter ending is gonna be good, I think.
So last chapter, I listened to Berlin by Ry X and ITS SO GOOD LOOK IT UP!
Anyways, I love you guys a lot and I hope you are disappointed with these last few chapters.
Thanks boobies
Love love love