(A/N: Another long chapter, almost 2000 words. I swear if you don't have tissues you'll need them. Please don't kill me and happy reading!
~ECL)
We're back in Los Angeles now, and it's one in the morning. Dylan sleeps on my chest, unaware of what is happening. I make Joey, Tyler, and Shane vlog. It's something different for two of them, and I want the fans to see me before I go. They've already promised to cut out when I actually let go, and just leave behind a little message at the end.
My heart rate is 90, and I seem to be holding on well for now. My body knows it can just let go now. I feel myself slowly worsening.
Allison's hand never leaves mine, she's spent the past two hours crying at my bedside. I would comfort her, but I could only move enough to put my hand on Dylan's hair and give my other one to Allison.
I saw Kate again, and she's given me an IV. I said I didn't want anything to slow down the process in there. She only set me up on some fluids and painkillers to make me comfortable.
Joey's trying to vlog in a chair near the corner, but he always just ends up breaking in the middle of his sentence, dropping his head of his hand and either crying or tying hella hard not to. Then Daniel would drape his arm around Joey's back and rub small circles there until Joey composes himself enough to go again. Joey's eyes are brimmed with tears constantly. Traces of bloodshot lines are there, but not too many. His hair is everywhere and he's flushed to the tip of his ears and down to the base of his neck. Daniel has a constant stream of tears down his cheeks and a never ending string of shaky breaths leave his mouth. His hair isn't quiffed, it's flat against his forehead. He's white as a ghost, yet continues to comfort Joey.
Tyler is directly above me, his hand on my shoulder and voice constantly breaking. He completely broke down once or twice and sobbed for a good few minutes. During this time, the camera level would drop and all the watching fans would see me, Allison, and Dylan wallowing in my final time. Tyler's crying, and the fans will be able to obviously see that, but otherwise he looks fine.
Shane vlogs from the edge of my bed where he sits. The view is mostly on me and I talk all the time, as well as Allison. Shane tries to keep the camera away from his face: the sleepless bloodshot eyes, red cheeks, glassed over gaze, bleeding bottom lip, hair matted to his forehead. He's a wreck.
Dylan's hair is a like a little thicket now, a cluster of brown hair against his tannish baby skin he inherited from Allison. His eyelids stay closed, his beautiful eyes behind them. His fists are curled up underneath him, lips pursed.
And Allison, well. She's paler than Daniel, and her green eyes are fogged over. They've officially lost their vibrance. Her hair is half matted to her forehead, half hanging over her shoulder. Dark bags hang under her eyes and she doesn't do much but sob. Her hand in mine holds the sapphire ring I got her for our first anniversary on the ring finger. The tinge against my hand makes me shiver whenever she moves. She still looks beautiful.
And me. Well, I look like shit.
My eyes are threatening to close and never open again, and I hear my heart rate slow to a 83. Though I promised I wouldn't fight, there are still words that need to be said.
"Daniel" I weakly call out, the first word I've said since my heart rate dropped below 110.
"Yeah, baby girl?" He asks once he's at my side, a comforting hand on my shoulder. I can feel all cameras and eyes on me.
"I love you, Daniel. I do. You've done so much for me since day one. Never- Never- Never did I think I'd be adopted. You flipped my world upside-down. You helped me through my ongoing panic attacks, and you ch-ch-changed my depression. I love you so much Daniel"
"I love you, too, baby girl. Everything I did for you was an honor. You made me realize that big decisions do have to be made, but even the bad ones can have positive outcomes. I love you" Daniel presses a kiss to my cheek and backs off, taking Joey's camera as I call him over next.
"We've had a fun journey, Joey" I say as I look down at Joey's resting hand on my forearm. "We didn't always get along, I know. But I alwa-ays loved you. I-I feel like I never said that enough. I do, and always have, truly loved you. I know it was you who g-got me out of the orph-anage. It was you who let me d-dye my ha-air. You accepted A-Allison, my girlfriend, last minute. And you a-accepted my kid, Dy-ylan. You've really helped me through this. Tha-ank you. I l-love you, Joey"
"Wow, Cassie" Joey says, voice quiet and tears coming right onto my arm. "I don't know what to say. I love you, too, Cassie. And everything I did, everything we did together, I loved every second of it" He sniffles. "You made my life perfect, beyond perfect Cassie. Y-You were the best thing that's ever happened to me. I never told you that. But I'd never take back a single thing we did, I wouldn't change a thing. I love you, Cass" Joey wraps his arms around my shoulders and hugs me the best he can. His sobbing results in shaky breaths to leave his mouth. A sole kiss is placed to my shoulder before I call Tyler over. Daniel takes his camera, Joey vlogging the two of us and off camera leaning agaisnt Daniel's shoulder.
"Hey, Chika" Tyler sighs as he bends down next to me.
"Hey, Bom Bika" I smile weakly. 78. "Listen Tyler. I-I know you've felt out of place here since day one. I've been around the others longer, y-yes. But you and I bonded quicker than any o-other. You're a crazy ass motherfu-ucker, Ty. I-I love you. Y-You're my crazy a-ass mother-rfucker. I'm never going to forget y-you, T-Ty. We had something spec-cial. I love you. I-I love you, T-Ty"
"Chicka, please don't cry" Tyler dries my tears as he adds to the pool on the bed underneath my arm. "I could never, ever forgive you. You've been such a huge, amazing part of my life. I'm homered to have been a part of the amazing almost 16 years you gathered. Even though I wasn't here for a big portion of it. I learned alot from you. I didn't know what love was until you came. I love you, Cassie. I really do" Tyler kisses my head before taking his camera back from Daniel, who then takes Shane's.
"Hey, look who's back" I smile. 72. "I'm gonna keep this short and sweet, I don't have a t-ton of time left. Thank you, Shane and S-Shanaynay, for a-all the laughs. Thank you Shane f-for the c-co-mfort. Thank you for the p-protection. Thanks for it a-all. I l-love you"
Shane hugs me tight and says "I love you, too, Cassie. And your welcome for everything. It was my honor. Now get over there and kiss your girlfriend"
I turn to Allison. 67.
"I guess I gotta go quick" I say with a small voice. "J-Just...thank y-you for eve-erything, Allis-on. Thanks for staying w-with me t-through T-The Bir-rmingham Trial. St-aying through T-The Gr-reat Explo-osion. The Gay w-walk. M-My ado-option. Through i-it all, Alli-ison-n, y-you stayed. I-I never knew w-why. I-I'm so l-lucky to ha-ave you. T-Take care of Dy-ylan for me. S-Stay stro-ong. I kn-now you can d-do it. I-I lo-ove yo-ou"
Allison leaves forward, pressing her lips to mine for a considerable amount of time before pulling back.
"That's why I stayed" She says in a whisper. "The sparks just wouldn't let me go. I promise to take care of Dylan. I promise I'll stay strong. I love you, my perfect little angel. You're my everything, my world. And you've gotten me through those tough times. Not everyone can always be strong. Just like now. You can't be strong. So I have to. Attempt to, at least. I love you, so so much baby. I love you" She holds another tender kiss to my lips. She's sobbing after that speech.
"I guess that l-leaves you" I say, turning back to Dylan, who's innocent blue eyes are now staring back at me. I cry harder. He has no idea. I sit him up on my chest. 59. "B-Baby Dylan, t-thank you for be-eing a pa-art of my li-ife for fo-our mo-nths. I-I will al-al-always remem-mber you, D-Dylan. Mu-umy has t-to go s-soon, but-t she'll a-always l-love you" 52. I press a quick kiss to Dylan's forehead before taking real action as a good mum. "Alli-ison, can you t-take the ba-aby?" She nods and takes little Dylan, who looks expectantly up at me, as if expecting me to hold him. I let out a loud sob. 47.
I lay back in my bed, staring up at Tyler, Shane, Joey, and Daniel, Allison's hand still in mine.
"I love y-you guys" I whisper. 38.
"We love you, too, Cassie. We love you, too" Joey sobs, Daniel manning his camera as Joey clings to his waist, head on his shoulder, just watching me.
I feel it. It's almost time.
28.
19.
"D-Don't forget me, I love you" A thick darkness captivates me before a white light takes over.
I didn't even get to hear their responses.
Cassie, you fought your hardest. You exceeded in the life that was once yours. Now it's time for a new journey.