panting i get out of bed and walk towards the door, quietly to see if i had woken mike,
i hadent, he had gotten used to me wakeing up screaming every morning. it wasnt as bad
now, i can stop myself screaming, usually as soon as i wake up, but when it started i
couldnt stop, i would sit in bed screaming and screaming, haveing to wait for it to pas.
the problem is though, i dont know what is causing this, i dont even know whay i am
screaming or what it is about. my fathers answer is 'go see a shrink' but i know how to
the screaming to stop, i can feel it, i have to work out what is causeing it and fight, i can
sense in the very pit of my heart there will be a fight before the screaming stops, and i
know i lose something important to me, not family or friends, but something really
important. i get back into bed but instead of trying to go back to sleep i pull out my diary
and flick through, when i find an empty page i cant help but notice that the last time i had
writen in my diary was three weeks ago, about the same time i moved here, the same time i
i started all the screaming. but no, moveing here was nothing to de with it, i had been her
for weeks at a time before, im the holidays i normally spend my whold summer holidays
here but now, why now? why did i move? well, i know gthe answer top that, i moved
because i could feel a fight brimming in the pit of my heart just like i do now, but that
wasnt my excuse to mum, i told her i needed some adventuse and time with dad, so here i
am and here i will star until the day where all is lost but all is gained. i wish i woulsd stop
thinking crappy litlle things about THE fight and all being lost and all being gained, but i
cant help it, it isnt me thinking theses things, it is like someone is putting the thoughts
into my mind.