That next morning when Emaia woke up, she had no idea what to do or expect. She didn't know who to start with; Aide or Dashel. Had Dash told everyone about what he saw? Would they all stare weirdly at her, as she walked through the village? Would they disapprove? Emaia couldn't see anything wrong with loving an elf. It was no different than a brown man loving a pale woman. They looked different from each other too, but when it came down to it, what was the difference really? Looks shouldn't matter. The heart didn't have eyes. It just had love.
And Emaia loved Aide. At first it was a little scary to admit, but that was the truth. She hadn't just fallen for him, she had fallen in love with him. And she knew he had feelings for her too – they might not be love yet, but there was something. Every time she kissed him, he always caved and kissed back. And last night he was the one who kissed her. Granted it could've been the alcohol doing that, but that didn't change things; He had wanted to kiss her, and the alcohol just helped him do that. Much like it had helped her back in Markon. It had given her courage, and it had done that for him too.
But even as much as they had to talk about, Emaia had to find Dashel first. He needed to know that what he saw wasn't exactly what he thought. He probably thought they were secret lovers, or that Aide had corrupted her or something like that. It was easy to jump to the wrong conclusion based on what he saw last night.
So Emaia left her hut that morning with a knot in her stomach. She glanced around to the people of the village who were already up. Some smiled, others simply just glanced at her. She couldn't tell if they knew. She hoped Dashel hadn't told everybody. She just wasn't ready to deal with all their judgmental stares.
She searched around the village, until finally, she found Dashel practicing his knife throwing skills behind a hut. He had even set up a bullseye and everything. But the look on his face was clouded. And of course she knew why.
"Dashel?"
He directed his eyes to her, just as he was about to throw. He paused midair, and looked surprised at her. Then he frowned. "What do you want?"
"Can we please talk about last night?" Emaia nervously asked. She hated having her friend look at her like that, like she had offended him or called him every dirty name in the book. She wanted her cheerful, smiling, goofy friend back. The one who always supported her, even when she said she wanted to buy breeches.
"Last night?" He snorted, and aimed at the bullseye. "You mean how you and Aide were about to get it on? How that creature was trying to lure you into his love shack?" He threw the small dagger with more force than needed and it hit the second ring of the bullseye.
Emaia gulped. Okay, he was mad. But it wasn't fair, he had no right to be. "Dash, that's not what was happening!"
"Is this the part where you try to convince me that what I saw was just him comforting you?" Dashel replied and sent her a flat stare. "I wasn't born yesterday. I know what was happening."
"No, you don't," Emaia said and walked up to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "It wasn't Aide who was trying to do anything. It was me."
"You?" Dashel snapped and glared at her. "I don't believe that. Forgive me, Emaia, but you're just too innocent to do—to want something like that."
That irritated her. He looked at her like she was a kid and had no idea what the word 'intercourse' meant. Sure, she didn't know the how's of it, but she knew how children were made.
She had had enough with all their 'innocent' accusations. Emaia angrily grabbed the dagger from his hand, aimed it at the bullseye and threw. The dagger hit close to his, just within the second ring. Needless to say, it was one of the best shots she had made yet.
Dashel gaped. "Holy-- How did you-- I mean, wha—"
"Aide's been teaching me, remember?" Emaia reminded him. "I'm not some little girl, Dashel. I've grown up very much since I started this trip. I might have been innocent when I left Rochess, but I'm not anymore. I've killed a man," She said and felt her throat tightening. "And I've been looking at Aide for a long time now. I've been... falling in love with him."
Dashel looked like he had swallowed an onion. "I just don't get it, Emaia. Him? He's an elf, for crying out loud! Have you lost your mind? That's—"
"That's what?"
"That's..." Dash seemed to struggle for words. "It's against nature! It's weird! Elves and humans together, it's like..."
"Why?" Emaia snapped. "Just because he has longer ears, I'm not allowed to love him?"
"It's not just the ears, it's everything about them!" Dashel argued, but then frowned. "And you love him?!"
"Yes. I do. I love him, and there's nothing you can do that will change it. I love him."
The more she said those three little words, the more her stomach tightened. She really did love him, and it scared her a little. She had never felt this way about anyone, the way she felt about Aide. To know that someone had such a strong grip on her heart, it scared her. But it also strangely made her feel safe. Aide would always protect it.
Dashel mumbled something incoherent. "For God sake, Emaia. I just can't believe it. How long has this been going on?"
Emaia thought about it a little. "I don't know. It just sort of happened. I didn't expect to fall in love, it just sort of snug up on me."
Dashel sighed and went up to the bullseye. He pulled out the knives. "I just don't know what to think. It weird. Elves and humans, together, that way. It turns my stomach."
"It shouldn't," Emaia argued. "It's no different from how two men can fall in love up here, and—"
"God, Emaia, you're not helping," Dashel said and turned around with a queasy look on his face. "I've been with women before, and I could never imagine being with a guy that way. It's just wrong!"
"-How would you know if you've never tried it?" A new voice suddenly chimed behind them. They both turned and saw Kai coming up to them with a smirk on his face. "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear that last bit."
"Oh, great," Dashel mumbled and rolled his eyes. "Here comes the speech."
"I'm not much of a speaker," Kai scoffed. "I prefer doing other things with my mouth, so I'll just leave you with this; Who you fall for, or who you love, has nothing to do with genders. I don't look at my mate and think 'oh, he's a guy'. I look at him and see the love of my life," Kai walked up to him and looked soberly at Dash. "When it comes to love, nothing matters. You either love them unconditionally, or you don't love them at all. Period."
Dashel frowned up at Kai, but he had a thoughtful look in his eyes. "Right, okay. I'll keep that in mind."
"Good," Kai said and nodded. "I think you'll find open mindedness will help you everywhere around the world. And who knows, it could happen to you, too," He winked and smirked. "Like I said; how do you know, if you haven't tried it?"
Dashel grimaced, as Kai turned to leave. Before he did, he winked at Emaia. She smiled back gratefully. She really did like Kai. He was awesome.
"Can you see what I mean?" Emaia said and turned to look at Dash. "Love isn't something you choose. It just happens. No matter who it is."
Dash finally sighed. "I guess the guy-lover had a point. But that still doesn't mean I'm fine with this thing between you and Aide!" He bickered and shot her a look.
"You haven't told anyone, have you?" She nervously asked.
Dashel looked at the ground and fiddled with his daggers a little. "No, I haven't. I didn't want to believe it. I can't even believe that he would even allow it!" He snapped and looked up. "I mean after everything he's sprouted about being all private and mysterious, you would think that he'd have a little more self control when it comes to—"
"He's been more than self-controlled," Emaia interrupted. She didn't want to go into the whole story, so she just kept it simple. "Aide is... complicated. I'm trying to convince him it doesn't have to be, but he keeps telling me I shouldn't want him."
"He's right," Dashel agreed.
Emaia pursed her lips irritatedly. "I was trying to convince him last night when he was drunk."
"Would it have worked if I hadn't stopped it?" Dashel asked warily.
Emaia sighed slowly. She had a feeling it might have, but it wouldn't have been right. It wasn't how it was supposed to happen. "I don't know. But that's why I have to go talk to him. I just wanted to make sure you didn't... hate me."
"Hate you?" Dashel exclaimed shocked. He dropped the knives to the ground and came up to her. "Emaia, I could never hate you. You're like... a little-sister to me. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. I was mad at him, because I thought he was trying to take advantage of—"
Emaia threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. Dashel wheezed surprised, but then hesitantly hugged her back.
She couldn't believe it. He felt the same way. He was like a brother to her too, and the fact that he felt like she was family too, was... well, it felt more like home than Rochess ever did.
"Thank you, Dashel," Emaia murmured and slowly pulled away.
"Uhh... For what?" He asked confused.
"For everything. If it wasn't for you, I never would've joined the rebellion," She said and smiled gratefully. "You were the one who invited me, who believed in me first. You're the reason why I'm here, fighting and stronger than ever. I owe you everything."
Dashel blushed into a deep red color, and right then she knew she had her friend back. He awkwardly started scratching his neck, while looking everywhere but her. "Uh, right. Don't mention it."
Emaia gave him one last big hug, before she released him and walked away. She woke up that morning so nervous about how today would go. The knot in her stomach was gone and she was positive nothing could spoil her mood.
Except she had to go find Aide. She hadn't seen him today yet, and couldn't spot his characteristic silver hair anywhere. Where could he be?
When she couldn't find him, she realized she would just have to wait, and for once, she didn't mind. Her mood was so high, the sun was out and it was a blue sky day. The trees outside the villages were glinting with snow, and that made her want to go out there. She had only seen snow one other time in her life, and it was only from a window, through a moving carriage. Her father had taken her to Tryon City for bear hunting season, but they had left before they even got started, since it started to snow. She remembered it as being the most beautiful thing ever.
So of course, she wanted to explore the place were Aide lived for a couple of years. She wanted to see the frosty ground and fir trees, coated in fluffy snow, where she imagined he had played as younger. She wanted to see everything.
She walked out the gates of the village and started going around the village wall. She followed a small creek up to some beautiful pine trees, which were glinting in the snow. This part of the Arranhade Woods was bright, with lots of sunshine, even despite the many trees. Emaia jumped through the snow, kicked it and watched it fly. She was just about to drop down to make a snow angel when suddenly, something caught her eye. A flicker of silver.
At first she didn't really believe it, since she was surrounded by glinting white, but after another glance she was certain. It was him.
Emaia snug closer, when the sight of his silver hair moved. She wondered if he was just out walking, or if he was doing his secret stuff – she really hoped he wasn't bathing again. A third time walking in on him wouldn't look accidental anymore.
But as she snug closer and found his silver hair again, she confirmed that he was indeed not bathing.
The blood ran cold in her body and her breath stilled, when what she saw nearly killed her.
Aide wasn't alone. He was in a heated liplock with a black-haired elven woman, who he had pinned up against a tree – much like he had done with her, back when she had first kissed him.
He kissed her passionately, roaming his hands all over her body. The elven woman seemed to love it – she was moaning loudly and tugging at his tunic, ripping it apart in the front. He wasn't stopping her.
Emaia felt her insides turn into a heavy, yet empty lump of nothing. She couldn't believe this. Who was this woman? And why was Aide kissing her?
She didn't want to believe her eyes. He was kissing her – after they had just kissed last night. Was that why he was fighting her? Was he in love with someone else?
This couldn't be happening. She didn't want to look at them, but she couldn't force her eyes away.
The woman ripped the tunic off his shoulders and let it fall to the ground. Her nails clawed down the hard plains of his bare chest, leaving small red scratch marks where she touched him. And Aide didn't do anything to suggest he didn't like it – in fact he started untying the top that covered her breasts. It was just a flimsy, brownish leather top, tied together on the back. She wore iron jewelry up and down her arms and had feathers braided into her black hair.
White, cold jealousy and rage spiked in Emaia's stomach. How could he do this? He kept telling her he couldn't get involved, but apparently he didn't mind kissing this woman. What was so special about her?
Aide broke apart from the elven woman's lips and whispered something to her in their elven tongue. Emaia wished right then she could understand them. Whatever he said made her smirk and run a thin finger along his jawline, before she replied. Aide cocked a brow in return.
She had seen enough. She wasn't going to stand there and watch while Aide and this woman explored each other's bodies. She stepped back from the tree she was hiding behind, but then immediately regretted it.
The frozen ground cracked beneath her foot, and made both Aide and the black-haired elven woman snap their heads to the sound. For a brief second, Aide's eyes met with Emaia's. His eyes pierced hers with those shining crystal orbs. They searched her soul for a respond.
And that's what she did; she responded by turning away, and running. She ran and ran, wanting to forget all about what she had just seen. Her heart hurt, her lungs burned and her body felt empty and numb. Yet she was shaking from anger.
"Emaia!" She heard Aide's voice and footsteps behind her.
No, she thought. She didn't want to hear him out, to even look at him. This wasn't like what Dashel had seen between her and him; This was unmistakable. They had both been kissing, and he had been taking her clothes off.
Emaia picked up her pace, to try and run away from him. She knew her odds were bleak, but maybe he'd catch the hint.
"Emaia!" His voice was right behind her. Suddenly she felt him grasp around her wrist to stop her, only to pull his hand away with a hiss.
Emaia stopped and turned around, when she heard Aide curse loudly – something he never did. It was in elven, but she was positive they were curses, just by going from the tone.
She then realized why; she looked down at her wrist and saw the gold bracelet she had unwittingly put on this morning. It was one of the last items she had left in her bag, and out of pure nostalgia and a little home sickness, she had put it on. The gold and the blood red rubies glinted up at her. What a stupid thing to wear it, considering she knew that elves were allergic – thought at this particular moment, she didn't mind. Seeing Aide in pain brought her some kind of sick joy, knowing what he had just done.
Aide clenched his hand in pain and hissed. "Fuck!"
"That's what you get for being a hypocritical bastard!" Emaia shouted at him, and felt the anger explode in her stomach like thunder. "How can you make out with another woman, but refuse to do the same with me?"
"Emaia, please remember what I've told you," Aide hissed, while still cupping his hand. It looked like he had gotten a severe burn mark. "This is what I do."
Emaia scoffed humorlessly. "Oh, right. You play women, is that it? And I suppose this woman could give you what I can't, because she's not 'innocent'?"
"What?" Aide said and glared angrily at her. "Emaia, you don't understand—"
"Yes, I do," She snapped and walked up to him. "You can make out with women, as long as they're not me. You give me all this crap about how you don't want to hurt me, or break my heart because you respect me, but yet somehow it's okay to do it to other women? Why them, and not me, huh?"
Aide looked at her. "Emaia, please. Try to let me explain—"
She slapped him. Right across his stupidly defined cheekbone, so hard it made his head whip. Her hand burned with the sensation afterwards.
Aide slowly turned his head back and looked at her. "Emaia..."
"Don't," She growled. "You're an asshole!"
She stormed back to the village and left Aide standing in the snow.
It was bullshit. How could he say he respected her, but then not respect other women? He said he didn't have feelings for her, so his respect didn't stem from that. So then why did he have a problem with kissing her?
It didn't matter anymore now. He was a bastard. She could see through his façade, but he wouldn't admit to it. Instead he hurt her. He could manipulate her, he could try to justify his actions with some excuse, but she was done now. She was finished chasing him, hoping he would let down his guards.
As she walked back to her hut, she promised herself this was it. There was nothing that could change her decision now, in fact she swore on top of her other vow, it would have to take a miracle to change her mind.