I sit on the guest bed putting on my makeup.
"Are you okay? It bothers me that I can't tell." Spencer softly speaks through my phone. I have him on speaker as I'm getting ready.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just weird is all, it feels like I'm back in my old life."
"Is that a good or bad thing?" My room door swings open and Jesse runs in.
"Hey Jess." I smile at my overly excited nephew.
"We're going to the park, do you want to come?" Jason appears in the doorway.
"Sure, just give me a minute. Oh, and say hi to your Uncle. " I toss him my phone only to have him run away with it.
"J, go downstairs and get your shoes on, help Bo get his on too." Jason calls out to him then turns to face me.
"That wasn't a great idea, I'm pretty sure you're not going to get that phone back." I slightly hang my head.
"Well I haven't been full of great ideas lately." He comes over and sits next to me on the bed.
"You don't have to come. If you want I can drop you off at Adam's on the way?" I shake my head.
"No, I want to go with you guys. Just give me like ten minutes and we can go?" He stands up.
"Sounds good, Mar." He leaves the room.
"She's busy!" Both of my nephews run past my room with my phone. I laugh at the faint sound of Spencer trying to get back to me.
-
"Oh shit." I awe at my nephews as they run towards the playscape.
"This is a few hours of pent up energy." Jason and I walk into the park and sit on a bench facing his kids.
"So, how're you and Spencer?" I think back to a few nights ago.
"We're okay, I think we both just have our own stuff right now, but we're alright."
"How does it feel to have another one on the way? I can't imagine this being my life. Frequent park visits, and parenting. Yikes.
"It can't be put into words really. I mean I created another life with my best friend, it kind of feels like there's nothing better than that."
"It's like you to get sappy." I shove his shoulder.
"And it's like you to make fun of me for it. You never know, one day you might turn into me." I frown at the thought. It's not that I'd hate to be Jason, but we certainly lead different lives.
-
After the park we head back to the house to have lunch.
Avery has food ready by the time we get to the house, and by that I mean she went and picked up In n Out.
"How was the park?" I think about the conversations I had with Jason. I'm honestly so thankful for him, he's more of my dad than he is my brother.
"Cool, we found a dead squirrel in the slide." I nearly choke on my face after seeing Avery's face.
"That's not good... After you guys eat why don't you have a shower."
After we all finish eating I clean up the kitchen while Jason gives the kids a bath.
"So what's new with you? I miss living ten minutes away." Avery frowns at the dining table.
"There's nothing new really." I shrug, even though my mind immediately goes to Spencer and his abuse.
"Babe, somethings off." I put the last plate in the dishwasher and turn to face her.
"I know, I'm sorry. Honestly Spencer and I are kind of going through a hard time. Well not really our relationship, but he has some personal things he's dealing with and it's hard." I wash my hands before moving to sit with her at the table.
"Is it his mom?"
"Substance abuse," I say without being able to look her in the eyes. I stare down at the table and bite the inside of my check.
"Shit, Mar. Is he okay? Is there anything we can do?" When I look back up Avery's eyes are watering too.
"I don't know. I think it's going to have to be something he does on his own. The only way I can help is if he lets me. I've only told you this, sorry to just spring this on you but is there anyway we can just keep this between us?" I trust my sister in law, enough to tell her our situation.
"Yeah, of course. Just let me know if I can help in some way."
-
After talking with Avery I head up to bed. This trip has surprisingly exhausted me.
I walk into my room after getting ready to see my phone vibrating on my bed. I answer Adam's call. It honestly hurts to hear his voice, just in one sentence my whole past floods back.