We started to walk in wolf form, with my bag in my mouth. I started to notice thing that I wouldn't have noticed if I were in my human form. The way a leaf fell, the scouring of a small rabbit trying to get away from me. I could see a lot further now too, the small ants crawling up a tree, I could count the number of legs on a centipede. My sense of smell has increased, to the point that I could smell a deer about 150 meters from were I stood.
The sun has started to set, painting the forest in colours of yellow, red, and gold. I realized that I really liked the sun set, the way it lit everything up, and all the day animals crawling back to bed. The sounds of the birds singing their last song of the day.
I tilted my head up, trying to catch any sound of a river. Very faintly to my right could hear a light gushing sound. Making my way over, I saw that it was in fact a small river. Walking to the edge I let my front paws dip into the cool water. Leaning down I drink my fill of water.
“Angelina? Do you think we could shift back to human form so that I could get some rest in a tree?” I asked, not really caring about the response. I loved being in wolf form, I could stay this way for a few more hours watching the sun set. I finally felt free.
Yes, I think that is a good idea. I need to rest. Angelina tiredly spoke. I figured we both need a good long rest.
Angelina had asked me earlier why I had picked that name for her, and I told her that I choose that name because she saved me, to me she is an angel. She's my angel. Angelina had said that she loved her name.
I haven't talked to her about James. I don't think either one of us could have handled that right now. Talking about it made it seem more real. I think she has finally figured out what has happened and is grieving in her own way.
Angelina did warn me that the shift back would hurt almost as much as it did going into wolf form. The first time shifting was always the hardest. I think that knowing-even a small part-of what the pain will feel like is going to be difficult.
Deal with it Chloe. I said to myself, as I started the shift back to human form.
It was just as bad as it was before. I whimpered. It felt like someone was stabbing at me. I tossed and turned trying to find a way to stop the pain. It did nothing. I moaned and whimpered, trying my best to keep the scream that was building in my throat in. I wont scream, I wont scream, I wont scream. I chanted in my head.
Shh, I know it hurts. Just hold on a little bit longer. Angelina’s worried voice whispered in my mind. It soothed me a bit. Just to know that I wasn’t going through this completely alone.
What felt like a small eternity to me , I was back in human form. Naked as the day I was born. I shredded my clothes I was wearing before and had to look in my bag for a new change of clothes. Finding a pair of black shorts and a purple short sleeve top, I quickly put them on. I felt sore and I knew that I really needed to sleep and heal.
Thinking about sleeping in a forest brought up some old memories. When Alex and I were younger, our parents would let us go into the woods and camp out in trees, for a night or two. I know what you're thinking. Letting your kids be all by themselves in the woods? We were really good kids, and Alex would never have let anyone hurt me.
We would spent the day fishing or walking deeper into the woods. It felt like a home, out in those woods. The birds singing, and the water cool against your hot skin. In the afternoon we would walk as far as we could, trying to find the best tree to camp for the night.
We use to always pick a willow tree to camp at. It was an unspoken rule that we shared. I think we picked that type of tree because it would hide us from the world, and we could finally be ourselves.
We would talk way into the night. I would tell him about some bullies at school. and when we got back the bullies never said anything bad to me again. That's how good of a brother he was too me. And in return I would give him my complete and utter attention. He would tell me about his goofy friends and what troubles they all got into. I would laugh at their stupidity. He would laugh with me. Alex would hold me tightly and whisper in my ear “ I love you Chlo Bear.” just before I fell asleep.
That brought tears to my eyes. I let them fall down my face. I really missed my older brother, the way he use to be. I missed telling him that I loved him and him saying it back to me.
I walked until I found a willow tree to camp in for the night. Letting the wind dry my free falling tears, I feel asleep to happy memories. And a peaceful fantasy.
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