A/N: Hiiii!! Riley here. I'm so sorry, this took me like a month to write. You can't believe how much homework my school can actually give me in only one week. It should actually be illegal, it's like child abuse, no kidding.
Anyway, I finally finished this chapter, after a lot of request from my friend Ci (what would I do without you, honey. Probably never finish this fic). So yeah, you can thank them for the fact that I'm posting this now and not in 3 years from now. Like I said in that first author's note, I don't know how regularly I'll be updating, but those 17 of you who've read, be patient. It will come :)
I think you should know I didn't really bother to proof-read because I am lazy as fuck, so I'm going to trust my PET (English test) Results that it's well written and actually makes sense.
Also, I feel like I should warn you that there is a MILD-SMUT ALERT. It's not that big of a deal, really, because I can't seem to be able to write a good smut scene (which could be fueled by my paranoia of my fanfic being found by irl people who actually know me and think I'm a perv with a gay fetish), but that'll have to do. Sorryyy.
Well, I think that's it. A lot of swearing, blah blah blah, the usual. You were the ones who signed up for this shit. This chapter is a bit short, but I'll try to make the next one longer.
Okay I'll stop rambling now. I'm going to end up boring you. Be sure to vote and comment! And, of course, enjoy!!
~Riley
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The puddle of water next to my bedside table has already evaporated by the time Gerard and I get home. I found him in the park, sitting under the big pine tree that, for some reason, is always alone, unnoticed by other people. It's his favorite place to hide when he's feeling... well, when it's something to do with Frank. He had his knees up to his chest, and he was hugging them, staring into nothingness. I got there and sat next to him, and tried to stare at whatever he was seeing, but my brother's mind is such a complicated place, I could see nothing.
"Frank asks if you're okay," I said after a few minutes of silence. Gerard didn't look at me. "Look, Gee, I don't want to get between you two, but do you really think Frank meant what he said? I mean... I don't want to bring flashbacks or anything, but you are kind of blind." Still, nothing. I sighed, imitating his pose and resting my chin on my knees. We stayed like that for a while, before he rested his head on my shoulder, and we stared into nothingness together. Then, with unspoken words, we got up and got home.
So now, the puddle has evaporated and my wooden floor has a permanent stain of water. I text Frank, letting him know that Gerard is okay, and, when I make sure that Gerard isn't asleep, I go into his room (the basement) and stand by the stairs while he wraps up the song he's playing in the piano. It's actually a very pretty, very, very sad song. When he's done, he turns to look at me expressionless.
"What's up, Mikes?" he says plainly. I really hate when Gerard's in this mood; it makes me want to punch him in the face.
"Ray called" I say, walking up to his bed and sitting on the edge. "He said Patrick Stump called and asked to meet with us. I told Ray to tell him to be in that bar like a block away at nine. Is that okay?" I ask, uncertain. I mean, I probably should have asked him about it before setting a date and all, but he... probably wouldn't have appreciated it.
"At nine? Yeah, sure. Did he say what he wants?" Gerard asks, turning back to his piano, but not playing anything. Just staring. Always staring.
"Invite us to this huge trip or something like that". He nods and plays a chord, and I take that as my cue to leave.
~~~~
"Where the fuck is Gerard?" Ray asks, freaking out as the seconds pass and we don't see Gerard through the bar door. He's more nervous than I've ever seen him. You don't get this stressed for a field trip. However, my brother is late. Like, later than usual, and Frank is sinking down in his chair looking guiltier by the minute. It's not his fault that Gerard is late; at least, I don't think it is. Gerard had been acting weird even before their "fight".
I'm not worried about him being late, I know he's alright. But, him being late means I will have to make decisions for him, and I know he hates that.
"Okay, they're here" says Ray, looking like he's going to faint. I feel like there's something he's hiding from me, I feel like this meeting is more than just a field trip. I start to go through possible things Patrick would want to discuss, but I lose trace of thought when I see him coming through the door. Not Patrick. Pete. Fucking hell I had totally forgotten about him. I hadn't seen him since that day after the party, in that hotel. "Only fate will tell" he had said. I never actually thought I would see him again, I mean, fate's never been on my side before. But holy shit was it now.
Pete is looking hot. Like, that time we'd both been drunk and I didn't quite remember how he looked before the smudged eyeliner and the sex hair. Now, though...
I feel an elbow going deep into my ribs.
"What the f--"
"Mikey. Patrick said hi..." Ray looks at me with a forced smile that says "get your shit together or I will kill you as soon as we're out of hearing range."
Fuck.
I look up at Patrick, a heavy blush covering my face. I glance at Pete, who noticed, and is smirking at me. I look back at Patrick.
"I'm sorry." I say, standing up, shaking Patrick's hand. "Hey, Patrick, it's nice to see you again."
Patrick smiles kindly, as if nothing had happened. "Same thing, Mikey. Thanks for agreeing to meet us here. Pete was gonna make me crazy if I didn't set this meeting up."
"Oh, was I, now?" Pete intervenes, probably before Patrick lets out more. I look at him, an amused smile on my lips, wondering what it is that excites him about a meeting. A tiny voice in the back of my mind is begging it to be me, but another, much louder voice is saying yeah, right.
Pete walks past Patrick to shake everyone's hand, starting with Frank, who has recovered a little bit from his initial guilt. When he gets to me, he not only shakes my hand, but he pulls me against him, as if he wants to hug me, and whispers in my ear "I told you fate would bring us back together." I take in a sharp breath when he runs his knuckles down my cheek, out of everyone's view, but I think my shiver is visible for the people across the bar. So is my blush.
He lets go and pats me in the back, as if it was nothing but a manly hug, and sits down beside me. Like, really close. Fuck, I should've worn less tight pants. Patrick and the other two guys, who introduced themselves as Joe and Andy, sit on the empty chairs and empty spots on the sofa.
"Well," Ray says, "I don't think Gerard is going to make it on time, so why don't you tell us what you have in mind?"
Pete's knees is pressed against my leg, and half of his hand is on top of my thigh, the warmth spreading like ants up to my crotch. I have to try really hard to focus on the conversation before us.
"Sure!" Patrick says. He takes off his fedora, running a hand through his hair, combing it back. "Okay, so here's the thing. We are... bored. Like, really, we literally have nothing to do, since none of us is currently studying. I know Mikey and Frank are still finishing school" he looks at me, then at Frank, "but I also know that you don't really mind skipping last year, do you?" Everyone turns to look at me and Frank. Ugh, I hate this kind of attention.
"Uh, I guess I--" I clear my throat, feeling Pete's intent stare on the side of my head. "I guess I don't." I turn at Frank. "Do you?" Frank shakes his head.
"Oh, phew. Well, anyway, besides Mikey and Frank, we all already finished school, so we thought, 'Why don't we all go around the country, take a few months or something, have some fun' and well, we thought it wouldn't be too much fun just the four of us, so we thought of inviting you guys, and some other guys Pete's friends with." He finishes talking and looks at our blank faces. It's not that it isn't a good idea, but Pete's hand has started to go up my thigh and I have a hard time forming any thought that doesn't involve the two of us naked in the same bed.
"So..." Patrick says after a few minutes of silence. "What do you think?"
Ray comes in to save the day.
"I think it's fantastic! I don't know about you, guys, but I really need a vacation."
"Yeah, I don't see why not" Frank shrugs. "I'll have to ask my mom, but I'm sure she'll be okay with it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to... uh... pee." He gets up in a hurry with his head down and goes to the back of the bar, where the bathrooms are. This clears my head from any thought of Pete's hand on my thigh and I look at the door, through which I see Gerard coming. Of course Frank would run away.
And of course it should make Pete run away, so I quickly shove his hand off my leg and move closer to Ray. He looks at me confused for a minute, but when he sees Gerard sit in Frank's empty chair, he quickly sits up straighter and moves an inch away from me.
"What did I miss?" Gerard says. He's still in that "I really couldn't care less" mood. I wanna throw him against a dance pole or something.
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom" I say, getting up. I can't stand Gerard's attitude, and to be honest I'm more worried about Frank. I squeeze my way between the table and Pete, and, of course, with my luck, I lose my balance and fall on his lap. He chuckles softly and I get up quickly when I feel my brother's eyes burning their way into my soul.
"Sorry" I mutter, and make my way towards the back of the bar with my head down.
~~~~~
"You have to stop running away like that, Frank" I say, my legs dangling from the edge of the sink, the tips brushing the floor. Frank's standing next to me, leaning against the same sink, lighting up a cigarette. He doesn't answer for a moment.
"I know." He says, blowing out a puff of smoke. He takes the cigarette between his fingers and examines it. "I'm just... I don't know, Mikey, I'm pathetic, okay, but I just can't look at him, not right now. You don't know how much it actually hurts me to know I've hurt him. To hurt him knowingly, because let's be honest, I knew my answer would be like a stab in the back. I wish I could say something..." He shakes his head, sighs, and uses his free hand to wipe his eyes discreetly. I look at him worriedly; I've never seen Frank cry so much, so often, in our 5 years of friendship.
"C'mere, Frank" I say, motioning him with my hand to come closer. He wipes his eyes once more, takes a deep, shaky breath, and turns towards me, letting me pull him into a hug. He rests his forehead on my shoulder, and I feel his body shake with sobs. I run a hand through his hair soothingly, not saying a word.
Now, I know this seems romantic as fuck and all, but I just want you to know I have absolutely no romantic feelings towards Frank. I swear to God he's like my little brother (now, I said like because if he were actually my brother, he'd be Gerard's brother, and that would be weird. Let's say he's kind of my brother-in-law, yes? Good). We hear the bathroom door open, but Frank doesn't pull away. For a moment I'm scared it's Gerard or something, but it's just Pete.
Just Pete. You're a funny guy, Mikey, my brain says. You know what I mean.
"Is everything okay?" He mouths when he sees Frank, who is still shaking, and me, holding him. I shake my head, not really giving an answer. Pete looks kind of uncomfortable, like he doesn't know if it'd be rude to pee or not. I let him know with a look that it's okay. I, of course, look away as soon he starts zipping down his jeans. No need to have a boner with Frank still in my arms.
After an awkward silence in which we can only hear Pete's basic needs being carried away, Frank has managed to calm himself down a little and he pulls away from my embrace, wiping his eyes furiously.
"I'm sorry I'm making this a sort of habit, Mikes" he says, laughing dryly. I shake my head, letting him know I don't mind. He takes my hand and looks at me. "You're a great friend, Mikey. You know that right?" I smile, and he kisses my cheek briefly. "Thanks."
He starts to leave, and when he's up to the door, I say, "Frankie. You should really talk to him, though. Let him know you didn't mean what you said, that there's a chance. You'll only be unhappy if you don't. The both of you."
Frank sighs. "I will, Mikes. Thanks." And he leaves.
I stay on the sink, swinging my legs, thinking about when things got so shitty. Gerard, Ray, Frank and I had been friends since middle school, always the four of us (plus some guys that sometimes came, sometimes went, but basically just us), always us against the world. Despite the age difference, it was always us and there was nothing that could come between us. We told eachother everything. When Frank came out as gay, the first thing Gerard did was tell us he was pansexual. And, believe me when I tell you, it didn't take Frank that long to come out to us after he figured it out himself. We all expected it anyway. I think we even knew about it before Frank himself did. As for my brother, it wasn't such a surprise, either. Wherever Frank went, Gerard went, even if it meant going in both directions. It was not that Gerard changed for Frank, but more like there was this... connection between the two of them that made them perfect for each other, like it was always meant to be. We were all okay with that. I mean, nothing ever happened between them, because they were both blind--despite Frank saying it was only Gerard--until now. And look where that got them.
Then it was my turn. I don't even know how the hell I figured out I was gay. I mean, I had dated girls and they were okay and all... until they weren't anymore. I know it's hard to believe, but I just woke up one day, and suddenly I just didn't like girls in that way anymore. I had always liked guys, that's true, and there was a time I thought I was actually bisexual, but then I liked only guys. It was so weird. I actually thought I was going nuts, so of course I went straight (ha, straight) to Gerard. I think I've never in my life seen him happier. He was telling me that was completely normal and shit and he said he was so happy I-- sort of-- understood the way he felt, etc, etc, etc. The next day I told the guys, they were like "nice!" like it had been with all of us.
Ray was completely, indisputably straight, but he never felt neither awkward nor left out with us. He was probably the most supportive straight friend ever, but he was very clear, from the beginning, that he liked girls and that was it. We were, as always, all okay with it.
I realize shit started to go down as soon as Frank and Gerard started to realize their feelings for each other. For Ray and I it had always been kind of obvious, but, like I said, they were both blind as fuck. As soon as they stopped being so blind (2 weeks ago), everything got fucked up. I don't want to end up like them, ever; falling in love with someone and practically handing them my emotions in a silver tray.
"Is he okay?" I'm dragged back to reality by Pete's voice, who has left his spot in the urinals and is now standing in front of the sink beside my spot, washing his hands. I watch them as the water runs through the fingers, which are moving quite seductively. Or maybe they aren't, and I'm just losing my mind.
"He'll be fine. You know, boy issues." Pete laughs briefly at my poor attempt of a joke, and shakes the water out of his hands when he's done washing them, then wipes them on his jeans. I look at them the whole time. I think I might be developing a Pete's-hands fetish.
"Should I be jealous?" he asks, raising his eyebrows mockingly. I laugh and shake my head.
"Nah, Frankie's like my brother. Sort of. I don't know." I say, recalling my early thoughts about it being weird because of Gerard. "The point is, it's nothing like that."
I don't even know why I'm trying to assure him there's nothing going on; it's not like I owe him an explanation or anything. He smiles contently and walks up to where I am, pushing me a bit farther on the sink so the whole of my butt is on top of it, and placing himself between my legs, taking me by the waist. He gets really close to me, and for a moment I think he's going to kiss me, his scent clouding my head with desire. I stare at his brown eyes and he smirks, running his knuckles over my cheeks, just like he did when he arrived at the bar. Again, the contact makes me shiver, and he smiles.
"I've missed you, Mikey," he whispers in my ear, and fuck I think he can notice my boner since it's practically pressed against his own, and I think he understands it's my way of answering I missed you, too without the words coming out of my mouth. He runs his lips along my jawline, and I can't help but throw my head backwards. Shit, this man makes me think so pathetically. I sound like Anastasia from Fifty Shades of Grey or something, thank goodness he isn't a mind-reader or anything. That'd be awkward.
When he's ran his mouth over every place possible on my face, he finally reaches my mouth but hovers over it, his nose pressed against mine. His eyes are closed, and he's quite obviously enjoying this moment. Can't say I'm not, to be honest. We stay like that for a while, just our foreheads and noses touching, his hands still on my waist, his warm breath against my lips.
Ah, fuck this shit. If he won't make his move, I will.
I smash my lips against his, desire taking over my every other sense, and I grab him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer. I can't get enough of him, it's like his body is a drug my body didn't know it needed until it was there, right on my lips. Fuck, I needed this. His hands move from my waist to the zipper of my pants, which he expertly starts to pull down without taking his mouth off mine, brushing my crotch, making me pull closer to him. It's quite embarrassing, to be honest, that I can't control my body when I'm with him. Quite embarrassing, but to be honest I couldn't give less of a shit.
"Get down" he breathes out, pulling away from me and taking a step back while he fumbles with his own zipper in a rush. I get down from the sink and push my pants down to my knees, watching as Pete does the same. I can't stop staring at the increasing bulge between his legs. Pete, of course, notices this and grins at me, taking a step closer and kissing me, eventually pushing me against the wall.
"What if someone comes in?" I ask in ragged breaths as he kisses my neck. I can't think straight at all, I don't even know where that came from. I couldn't care less if someone entered the bathroom.
"I made sure to lock the door" he answers simply, and presses his hand to my dick. "Now, be quiet. I'm going to enjoy this."