Alex's POV
The crowd was chanting and whistling as we finished up our second last song of the night. I smiled and looked to my left to see my friend Zack Merrick smiling back at me, holding onto his brightly coloured bass guitar. I turned around and grabbed my water bottle. I looked up as I drank to see my other friend Rian Dawson, sitting behind his drum kit and gazing out at the crowd in awe. I smiled to myself as I screwed the cap back on the bottle before turning back to the stage. I looked over to my right to see my best friend Jack Barakat, making stupid faces at the crowd in front of him while waving his guitar in the air.
It was amazing having this life. It was amazing touring the world with my best friends. It was amazing to do the one thing you loved, and it was amazing to have people like what you did. Being a part of All Time Low was amazing and I wouldn't change it for the world. I also wouldn't change my friends for the world. They had by back through thick and thin, even when I came out to them as gay they still had my back.
Yes, I Alexander William Gaskarth am gay. And I had the biggest crush on my best friend. I had since high school. Only now it wasn't so much as a crush. I was head over heels in love with my best friend, Jack Barakat. There was just a few little problems... One: he didn't know, and two: he wasn't gay or remotely interested in me. He wouldn't stop talking about boobs for god's sake!
I looked over to Jack and smiled. He turned his head from the crowd and smiled back at me before making some joke in his mic about us being in a relationship, playing up to what the fans called 'Jalex'. I couldn't lie, him talking about us as a couple made my heart flutter. I walked up to him and kissed his cheek causing the crowd to erupting into squeals and shrieks. I stood back chuckling as I threw my arm around Jack's shoulders before addressing the crowd.
"Give it up for my skunk haired lover, Jack Barakat!" I yelled into my microphone.
I looked over to Jack to see he wasn't smiling anymore; in fact he looked like he was in a lot of pain by just standing there breathing. I pulled my mic away from my face and turned to him with a concerned look plastered on my face.
"Jack, are you okay?" I asked worriedly.
Jack turned to me and silently nodded before taking a deep breath. "Yeah, yeah I'm good. Just my stomach again."
I sighed. He'd been like that for a while now. We were all constantly telling him he should see someone about it but he refused to go. I looked Jack up and down in the glow of the stage lights. Even in this light he still looked ghostly pale, another thing that had me worded about him. Jack usually has a sun kissed tan from our adventures across the globe and it worried me that he was paler than the plain white t-shirt I was currently wearing. He was drenched in sweat head to toe, but that was expected when playing on stage for over an hour. And his hair was in it's usually messy style that showed off his eyes. Oh, his beautiful dark brown eye... Enough daydreaming Gaskarth!
I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. "You know, I really thing you should see a doctor. You're not supposed to be in pain." I spoke.
Jack rolled his eyes. "Okay, mom." He joked, picking up another pick of his stand ready to play our final song.
I sighed and walked back over to my mic stand, placing the mic back in its place. What is the point? He never listens to me anyway. I smiled at the audience before speaking into my microphone.
"Thank you so much for coming out. We're All Time Low. We'll see you next time"
I looked over to Zack before glancing back at Jack. He still had that pained look in his eyes but I knew he wouldn't leave the stage this early to go take it easy. I grabbed my guitar pick and began to strum the opening chords of our last song of the night, 'Dear Maria, Count Me In'.
"I got your picture
I'm coming with you
Dear Maria count me in
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle
And I'm the pen..."
I sang into the microphone as the crowd chanted and screamed along to the song. I put my heart and soul into our final song, singing it with all I had left in me. Zack was jumping up and down on the spot. Rian was thrashing away at the drums, and Jack was running around like a crazy person.
It hit halfway through the song and I started to get a bad feeling. Whatever, I'm probably just over thinking. I turned around and chucked my guitar to one of our crew members just as Jack threw his guitar the opposite way, to another crew member. I pulled the mic off the stand and started singing out the bridge.
"Take a breath
Don't it sound so easy?
Never had a doubt
Now I'm going crazy
Watching from the floor
Take a breath
And let the rest come easy
Never settle down
'Cause the cash flow leaves me
Always wanting more"
That was the last part of the song that went smoothly. The last time we all had genuine smiles on our faces. The last time he was okay. The last time we performed as a band. Luckily, at some point during the song, one of my in-ear-monitors had fallen out. If it hadn't I wouldn't have heard the blood curdling scream that came out of my best friends mouth as he doubled over in pain, clutching his stomach. I looked to my right to see Jack was holding himself up by his mic stand with one arm wrapped around his waist as tears flooded from his eyes.
I looked over at Zack to see him giving Jack the same concerned look as me. I turned back around to catch eyes with our tour manager, Matt Flyzik who mouthed at me "What's going on?" to which I shrugged my shoulders at him. I looked over at my friend to see him swaying from side to side. I took a step towards Jack and that's when all our life's changed.
It was like I was watching everything in slow motion. Jack's body moved from side to side like a blade of grass in the summer breeze. His knees shook from beneath him before he collapsed to the floor in a lifeless heap. I felt the microphone slip from my already shaking hands as I let out a scream.
"JACK!" I yelled, causing the whole venue to go silent.
I ran towards the unconscious boy and dropped down on my knees, pulling him into my lap.
"MATT! RIAN! ZACK! SOMEONE, CALL AN AMBULANCE!" I yelled out to anyone that was listening.
By now tears were pouring down my face as my body shook with sobs. Before I knew it Zack, Rian, Matt and the rest of our crew were on stage surrounding Jack and I. Matt had his phone pressed to his ear, shouting down the line at the operator while Rian dropped down beside me, placing his hand on my shoulder.
"Alex! Alex, listen to me. You need to breathe. I know Jack's the only one that was ever good at calming you down from your episodes but you really need to breathe. Jack wouldn't want you to be like this over him." Rian said soothingly as he attempted to calm me down.
"Stop talking as if he's dead! He isn't dead, Rian. He's... oh my God what if he's dead! Rian, I can't lose him! I c-can't! He can't l-leave me! He can't fucking leave m-me!" I shouted, starting to panic more.
My breaths were coming out shallow and uneven as my body trembled all over. I felt someone tightly grip onto my arms but my mind didn't comprehend on who it was until they spoke, rather shouted at me.
"Alex, listen to me! Breathe. Okay?! Look at me and breathe! We don't need two people passing out now, just breathe!" It was Zack.
I could tell by the look in his eye that Zack was just as shaken up and scared as me. I shakily nodded and started to focus on my breathing. Breathing in and out and in and out. By the time the ambulance arrived my breathing was back to normal, well, as normal as someone crying their eyes out would be. I still clung to Jack's frail body for dear life. Afraid that if I let go, I'd lose him forever.
"Sir, you're going to have to let him go." One of the uniformed men instructed.
I shook my head like a toddler throwing a tantrum, causing the paramedics to sigh. "Sir, we can't help him if you won't let him go. Please just let your friend go." The other one asked me as they took a step closer.
"No!" I cried but I wasn't given the option as Zack wound his arms around my waist, pulling me away from Jack's limp body.
"Let me go! Zack let me go! Jack! No, no don't leave me! Jack! Don't You Go! Please!" I cried out as I thrashed around in Zack's arms.
"Calm down, Alex, please!" Zack begged as he held back his own tears for his lifeless friend. "If you calm down enough I can try talking them into letting you ride in the ambulance. But you need to calm down." He whispered in my ear.
I instantly began to calm down and eventually Zack let me go. We all walked outside to the ambulance and Zack began talking to Flyzik and one of the paramedics in a hushed tone, glancing back at me every so often.
I looked down at my beaten up converse. I knew there was something wrong with him! Why did he need to be so stubborn? What if he dies? What will I do then? Is this a nightmare? Please tell me this is some sick joke and Jack will jump out screaming 'surprise'. Telling me how stupid I am and how funny my face looked. Please, if there is a God, do something! I felt tears begin to reform in my eye as I watched Zack turned around and jogged over to me.
"Hurry up and get in the ambulance, they're leaving." He said, shoving me in the direction of the vehicle.
I didn't hesitate. I ran and jumped in, sitting down beside Jack's body and taking a hold of one of his cold hands.
"It's gonna be okay buddy. You're gonna be okay." I whispered to him but at this point I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince, him or me?