Lucille's POV
"Lucille... honey, are you okay?"
My mom had been banging on my door for a few minutes now. I had no energy to get up. After last night, my whole body felt numb. Ethan told me he never loved me. I was a loser... a slut. He could never love me, he said. I repeated his words in my head. Why did it hurt so much? I felt like I couldn't breathe. I thought it would be easier... for him to let me go. I never wanted this from the beginning anyways. It was he who forced me into his "unclaimed" relationship. I should be happy, but I felt like throwing up. I had a headache. The pit of my stomach whirled with pain. He told me he loved me... but now he hated me. We were never anything... and like he said, we would never be anything.
"Lucille!" my mom called again. I could not let my mom see me like this. I felt even worse to have done what I did with Ethan... and my mother knew nothing about it. I sucked my dried tears and took a deep breathe. I had to conceal it as much as I could.
"Lucille..."
"Coming!" I replied. I walked to open my bedroom door. My mom looked so worried.
"Honey, are you okay?"
I nodded with a weak smile.
"You don't look okay... are you sick?"
I shook my head. I felt the tears coming. I took a big breath to keep myself from falling apart in front of my mom.
"Are you sure?"
"Mhm," I said, biting my lip to keep the weeping in.
"Lucille..." She wasn't convinced. She gave a look of suspicion. She moved towards me with her arms open. I just continued shaking my head, but I couldn't cold it in anymore. I let the tears fall.
"Oh my baby girl." She moved closer to me to hug me. I then let it all out. Every sound of pain and every tear drop I hid.
"Tell me. I'm your mother. Oh God. What happened?" she asked, as she continued to rub my back. She pulled me in closer.
I shook my head. I couldn't tell her. I buried my head in her chest. I couldn't look her in the eyes.
"Lucille, tell me." She pulled me up so that I could see her face. I couldn't do it, however, so I buried my face back into her chest.
"Did they bully you at school again?"
I wish it was only bullying, I thought to myself.
I didn't answer. I just crawled into a ball while she held me.
"Okay... shh, shh, my beautiful baby. Let it out! Oh God, you must have been hurting so much last night. I'm so sorry I come home so late...everyday."
My mind went back to last night and the tears fell harder.
"Shh, shhh." She rocked me like a baby. "We'll talk about it later."
You wouldn't be too happy. I wish I had told you earlier, I thought.
Right now, I needed my mother. I didn't care if she had to go to work or not. I just needed her. I continued to hold onto her tighter and tighter.
Ethan's POV
I didn't see her at school. She wasn't in 1st period or 4th period. I didn't go to our secret pathway... because we weren't a secret anymore.
"Stop looking for that little loser," Heather whispered with aggravation.
"Calm down. Everyone thinks we're the happy couple. You don't have to worry," I said, annoyed.
"Good. That means you don't have to worry about your little scholarship getting stolen."
I shook my head in disagreement.
"I'm leaving." I walked away.
I was so angry at myself. I should have told Lucille the truth. Why did I say such mean things to her? Because I wanted to make sure she wouldn't get hurt even more. I pulled my hair in frustration. It was too late now. She must hate me.
At baseball practice
"You're up, Collins!"
I walked up to the mat. The pitcher threw the ball and I missed both. I stretched my neck. C'mon Ethan.
You're giving Lucille up for this. Just hit the damn ball, damn it.
I tried again.
"Strike!" Shit.
"E, get your head in the game!" Coach yelled.
"Well, maybe if Ryan had better aim I would!" I blurted, unexpectedly.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Coach yelled back. He gave a shocked expression.
"Nothing, coach!"
"Well, it better be nothing if you don't want to end what you worked for! Go home!" He pointed towards the lockers.
"Coach..."
"Did you not hear me? Go cool off that hot head of yours! Go home!"
I sighed in frustration.
"I will not have you disrespecting your own teammates! Don't come back to practice again until you learn that!" he screamed over.
I stormed off the field. What the hell was wrong with me today?
I got to the locker rooms. I took off my shirt and slammed it against the locker. Shit. I shook my head.
Lucille's POV
I did not go to school today. I stayed in bed with my eyes closed. I wasn't even sleeping. I just laid there. My mom did not go to work today. She called in and has been home all day with me. Occasionally, she would come in to check on me, but I told her I wanted to be alone. That was my life anyways.
"Honey..." I hear my mom knock on my door. "Can I come in again?"
I was silent. I was too weak to get up. She opened the door without my response.
"Honey, you have to wake up. You can't lay in bed all day like this."
I didn't respond. I stayed silent.
"Lucille, sweetie..."
I ignored her calling. I heard a sigh.
"This is it! I'm going to your school tomorrow. I'm going to report this--"
As soon as I heard her say "going to your school", I pulled my blanket away from my face.
"No, mom. You can't."
"What do you mean I can't? Bullying should be illegal. I can and I will... Tomorrow morning we will have a talk with the principal." She turned away towards the door. I quickly got up from the bed and yelled, "No, Mom!"
She turned back around.
I was scared. I wanted to tell her the truth.
"No one bullied me, mom."
"Honey, you don't have to lie..."
"It's Ethan..."
Her eyes widened and the wrinkles on her forehead scrunched up.
"What?"
"It's Ethan..."
"What do you mean 'Ethan'?"
I looked down to the floor.
"Ethan, who you're tutoring and who I invited to breakfast last time?"
I nodded without looking at her. Tears drizzled down my face again.
"Luce, what does he have to do with you? "
I shook my head.
"Luce..."
"I'm sorry, mom. I'm so sorry!" I cried out. I told her everything. From almost getting killed to our "deal" to being a secret to falling for him to him breaking my heart. She suddenly slapped me hard in the cheeks.
I looked up in shock with my hand on my cheek. She began to cry.
"I'm so disappointed in you!"
"Mom..."
"I didn't raise you to do this. To give your body so easily like this. This is not like you!"
I cried harder. Suddenly, she wrapped her arms hard around me.
"Why didn't you tell me?! I'm your mother for goodness sake's! Why didn't you tell me?" she yelled.
I felt the wetness on my shirt from her tears now. She was crying just as hard as I was.
"I was scared! I was just so scared, okay? You were already stressed out with enough to deal with. I didn't want you to worry...but things just got so carried away."
"I'm so sorry," she said. "I'm the worst mother ever!"
I shook my head quickly.
"No, no, you're not!"
"Yes, I am! I should have been here. I got so caught up in my job, I forgot my most important job, being your mother. Nothing matters more than you, you should know that, right?" she pulled me away so we were face to face.
I nodded. She pulled me back into her chest. I held onto her tight.
"Oh goodness..." I felt her say as she lifted her chin from my head, then back to my head.
"Ethan, huh? That boy seemed so sweet. This was my fault, wasn't it? I was the one who let him in our house... I can't believe he did that... I'm going to have to talk to his parents."
"No, mom!" I looked up.
"Why not?"
"I..." I hesitated.
"You what?"
"I... let him"
"What?!"
"I just...I just...fell in love.. I liked him so much, I didn't mind being with him. He was so different with me..."
"He took advantage of you!"
"At first... but he became so warm...so sweet... it was like he needed me to accompany him.. he felt even lonelier than me, mom. I know there was a part of him that felt the same... he's just scared."
She shook her head skeptically.
"This is so wrong!"
"I know..."
She sighed.
"So what? You don't want me to do anything?"
"Please..."
She pulled me in close again.
"What kind of mother supports a crime turned into love? What is this?"
I closed my eyes. I didn't want to think about it anymore.
My heart was broken. Ethan hurt me with his words yesterday... yet I still felt the need to protect him. He had a life that needed to be protected and I... I'm just here crying. I was dumb.. so dumb because no matter how much he hurt me, I couldn't let him get hurt. I would gain nothing back, but more tears...
"We're still going to school tomorrow," my mom said.
I looked up at her in surprise.
"I'm not letting you tutor Ethan anymore. I can't. I would fail even more as a mother. I don't want him anywhere near you. I don't want you near him, either. Got it?"
I nodded
"I'm going to spend less time at work also now. I don't want to leave you alone again. Emotionally or physically, I don't want to see my daughter hurt again."
I was relieved by her promise, yet I was worried.
The next day
"You ready?"
I nodded.
My mother and I were in the car. She took me to school today. She was really going to talk to the counselors about taking me off the tutor list. She was even really serious about Ethan not being near me. She repeated about a thousand times this morning.
I myself was afraid to see Ethan. I knew as soon as I saw him, I would probably break. I still have not recovered from his words, but I was still Lucille, the good student. I couldn't miss more than a day of school in a week. I took a big breath and got ready to embrace this dreadful day.
We got out of the car and walked to the counselor's office.
"Hello, Ms. James and Lucille. I was told this was urgent, therefore, you needed to see me right away. What can I do for you?"
"I would like to take my daughter off as Ethan Collin's tutor," my mother spoke bluntly.
"I'm sorry?" Mr. Railey responded in surprise.
"I said I would like for you to take my daughter off as Ethan Collin's tutor."
In disbelief, he asked, "Is there a reason why...?"
"It's for personal reasons. I just do not feel good as a mother for her to continue tutoring someone like Ethan Collins."
"Ms. James, I'm sorry to say this, but Ethan Collins is an exceptional student to our school. Whatever it is--"
"I know that, but again, like I said I don't feel good as a mother to let my daughter tutor him, therefore, please, take my daughter off!"
He sighed and nodded.
"Okay, I will take her off as soon as I find a new tutor for him."
"No, I want her off right now."
I turned to my mother in shock. I had never seen my mother so aggressive with her tone.
"Okay, okay..." Mr. Railey said warily. "I will send an email out as soon as possible today."
"Thank you." mMy mother nodded. She shook his hand and we walked out.
"Mom...thank you," I said.
She softly smiled. "Of course. I'm here now. I will protect you."
I smiled back until my eyes caught Ethan's figure. I quickly turned back to my mother. She saw my change of expression. She then turned around. I tried to stop her, but it didn't work. She saw Ethan also...She was about to walk towards him, but I held tight onto her arm.
"Mom...you promised."
She turned back to me.
"Fine...but you stay away from him, okay? If he gets close to you, you just walk away. Do I make my words clear?"
I nodded. There was no chance of us talking, therefore, my mother's command was easy.
My mom kissed my forehead and said goodbye before she left to work. I took one more glance and I saw Ethan look at me. I quickly looked down and walked away.
Ethan's POV
I saw Lucille with her mother. I wanted to run to her and apologize. I just wanted to take back all my words and hope that she forgave me, but I knew all of that was just lost hope.
I messed up so bad. As soon as her mother left, I saw her looking at me and quickly look away. I sighed.
Lucille's POV/ At Lunch
"Hey, where were you yesterday?"
I looked up to see Theo.
"Umm... at home," I said.
"Oh, you ditched school. Rebel alert," he teased.
I softly smiled back at him, however, I had too much on my mind to laugh at his comment.
"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.
"Yeah, of course!"
He gave doubtful look.
"Its nothing, really." I tried to reassure him.
"I haven't known you for that long, but trust me, I've dated enough girls to know a nothing means something in girl language."
"Enough girls?" I looked to him.
"Yes... a ladies' man, you could say."
This time, I really giggled.
"Okay... ladies' man... I think player suits more."
"Woah, woah, "player" is a little harsh, don't you think? I actually date my women for at least a month," he argued.
I shook my head. He smiled at me. I smiled back.
"So tell me.. is it your "complicated" relationship?"
I was surprised.
"It is!" he rejoiced happily. "Sorry... got a little excited."
"No... its okay," I responded.
"What did the douche do?"
I gave a glance to Ethan who sat next to Heather from across the room.
"Exactly what I didn't want..." I sighed.
"And what was that....?"
"Nothing." I gave a tight-lipped smile.
"It hurt, didn't it?" he gave a sad look.
"What...?" I asked, astonished.
"I could tell... I'm a "player" remember?" he smiled.
I looked down at my hands.
"By the way, you were approved to be my tutor. Congrats!" he said.
He showed me the paper.
"Told them you agreed," he said.
"Wait, but..."
"Thanks, Luce!" he said before he took off.
I shook my head, but laughed it off. Maybe this would take my mind off of Ethan. I could just focus on tutoring and work because there would be no Ethan in either.
I felt a deep stare and looked up. My eyes met with Ethan, but I quickly looked away.
Stop Lucille, it's over.