I am distraught. My life is a train wreck right now. I don't know how I will go on. A part of me wants to end it just like Hykeem did, but the other part of me, the optimistic part, sees hope in my future. I don't know which part of me to believe at this point. I sit alone, in my bedroom, about 32 hours after the suicide. The detectives, and investigators were finally wrapping things up, and leaving. My mother went to the Marriott, to spend the night. I couldn't go visit TJ in his room at Grady Memorial, because I would be forced to cry even more. I needed to be alone.
I wave off the last of the crew, and close and lock the crystal doors of the King Estate. Walking around this empty house brought so many memories, of when Zeph and I were little. I remember when we first moved in here with Isadore, we both would sneak downstairs, during their parties, and house events for the growing of the company. Christmas parties, anniversaries. We were never allowed down when guests were here. Mom and Isadore would shove us in the highest floor of the place, with a room full of toys and junkfood, and Gladys to watch our every move. She was so young and vibrant back then. We'd wrestle, and play with her just like she was one of us. Zeph and I were clever little tikes. We'd run Gladys, until she was out of gas, and as soon as she was sleepy from all of the running around and jumping we did, Zeph and I would put on our little suits and ties, and parade around every party pretending to be grown ups. We even pick-pocketed a few rich white women, by smiling and showing our dimples. A seven year old set of twins is the cutest thing to rich white women. And we sat on plenty of laps too. I stand alone in the hallway laughing at these moments. I continue walking around, and then I walk up the flight of stairs leading to the master bedroom. Right across form the door, was Isadore's wine case. I hovered over it a moment, knowing that I'd instantly be relieved from all the pain I was feeling, and contemplated on whether I should or not.
I felt a tear roll, and I turned the other way and kept walking. I came across Isadore's study. We were never allowed in there as kids, even as teenagers. Well he's gone now, so fuck it. I walked in and did what most of all people do in a private office. I sat my ass down in his big spinning, leather chair and had myself a whirl. I examined all of the room. He had about fifty five model cars, all different types. From retro, to metro, to modern. I enjoyed myself for a few seconds until I looked down at his desk, where the drawer was halfway opened. As if the cause of some emergency, he ran out of the study without closing his drawer all the way.
I opened the drawer slowly and several files were closed inside, along with a roll of scotch tape, scissors, and pens. One of the files read "Emory Records" on the top right-hand corner of it. I rubbed the black folder gently before opening what seemed to be medical records from Emory Hospital. When I opened it, the top said Isadore's name, and it seemed to be a chart of some sort, with several numbers and letters leading all the way down the page, his finger print, and his social security number. I flipped the page over, and there was a cotton swab inside a small ziploc bag, and it was stapled to another paper that said "HIV Test Form".
I closed my eyes and prayed what I was about to read didn't change my life traumatically. My eyes scored the paper and it said "Configuration IB, Positive."
I found the nearest trashcan and threw the fuck up! What is wrong with this man? He has HIV? Oh my god I have to tell my mom. No I have to tell Zeph! What is going on here? I walked back to his desk and reread the paper over and over again. I flipped open his laptop, and clicked on his email. He had all the money in the world, so I understood why he left his old computer in here. I was gonna find out more about this. I had to. I clicked his inbox, and it was a message from someone named Aldridge Peterson. I clicked his name and a website advertising a Law Firm in L.A popped up. Why was Isadore emailing a lawyer from California? I mean, we have branches for the company there, but the base is here, he almost never handles outside business. That was my mom's job. I clicked back, and went to his email again and read the message from Aldridge Peterson; the message was at least a few months old.
"Isadore, I enjoyed the time we shared in D.C last weekend. You are truly the freak you make yourself out to be. I miss you, and don't forget our arrangements for New Years in a couple of months. I'm looking forward to spending the whole weekend with you in Paris. I love you, xoxo -AJ"
I felt sick. After all the crap he gave me about my sexuality, and the way he embarrassed Donyelle about being a transgirl, and he was DL this whole time?? I can't believe this! He disrespected this whole family, especially my mom. I hope she didn't get caught in all of this mess...
There were at least fifty unread messages from this 'AJ' person. I clicked on the ones that were closest to recent.
"New years was amazing, I can't believe we did that. I hope this year brings you blessings and happiness."
This is disgusting. I am still in denial about this whole situation, even though it's sitting right in my face. I scroll down about five more, and click one that seemed urgent.
"Izzy, call me ASAP! We need to talk about some things."
I clicked the next one.
"Please reply to me. I don't know how long I can go without talking to you. It's really important."
The more I read, the angrier I got, and the more disgusted. I click the next one.
"Isadore, I'm HIV positive. I am so sorry. Please go get yourself checked out, I hope I didn't hurt you. Please forgive me. I hope we can still work some things out."
So this is where he got it from. That's what his lying ass gets, for dissing my mom like that. But I see, Isadore didn't ever click these messages, so how did he figure out that he needed to take the tests? Maybe someone else told him... Or AJ wasn't the one who gave it to him. Maybe Isadore gave it to AJ. Ugh! I can't even imagine what could've happened. I hear a sudden 'ding' noise come from the computer. I open it and its from AJ.
"I'm done with being ignored. Your well being is the least of my worries now. I'm telling your wife that you gave it to me. I looked back at my schedule, and yes I keep a schedule, and the last man I slept with before you, didn't have it. Neither did the man after, so the only solution was that you gave it to me. You're a disgusting slimey bastard and I hope you burn in hell!"
I copied the link to his email, and sent it to myself. Then, I slammed the computer shut, grabbed the files, and immediately ran for my keys and shoes and was out of the door in seconds. I called my brother, and it went straight to voicemail. Then, I called his girlfriend, and the same happened. I thought that was kinda weird, and gross considering they were supposed to be in the same place at the same time, meaning if they couldn't answer the phone, they had to be... Ew... I called my mom, and she answered in a relaxed but stressed voice.
"Hello, my darling. What are you up to?" She asks, in a sweet voice that sounds like Loretta Devine.
"I'm on my way to you. I have some important news to tell you." I said.
"Hold on, baby, someone's calling me. And I don't know who this person is. It's a 925 number. Where is that?" She asks, ignoring my statement, as FUCKING USUAL.
"... California." I said. It had to be AJ. My mom put me on hold and I cursed and punched the steering wheel. After driving fifteen minutes into downtown, I made it to the Marriott. The valet took gladly hopped into my car, and parked it. Files in hand, and phone in the other, I walked in the hotel, looking as ratchet as I ever had, in a five-star facility. The concierge asked me who I was looking for, with her hand firmly hovering over the security button.
"I am Cedric King, my mother is staying here, I'd like to know what room she's in please?" I asked politely.
"Oh, welcome Mr. King." She says, phoning my mother's room. "I'm sorry, it's no answer. May I offer you a magazine, or something while you wait?" She says, insinuating the fact that my mother is "Unavailable".
I ignored her soul, and began walking towards the elevator. As soon as it opened, my mother, standing with hands on her hips strutted out of the elevator and gave me a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.
"Meet me at King's Motors and Industries in an hour. Get your brother ASAP." She says, as we both subtly walk towards the front entrance. "I'll personally go get Donyelle."
"Why Donyelle? And the company? What's going on mom?" I say, handing her the files to read, answering my own question.
"Do as I say, son. Tell him to meet us in the underground parking lot. Level 6." She ordered, kissing me goodbye. I sprinted to the valet and requested my car. They brought it back around, and I jumped in, and blew Zeph's phone up.
"Hello?" He finally answered as I got off my exit, heading back home to change.
"Nigga answer the phone sometime! Where are you? And where is your girl?" I ask, avoiding traffic at all costs.
"I was asleep, and I'm at the Ritz Carlton in BuckHead, Donyelle is gone Ced, what's up anyway?"
"Gone? What you mean gone? And mom said meet her at the company in about 45 minutes, you need to put some clothes on, and get there fast!" I ordered.
"What? Why?"
"I know, but then again, I don't know. I think it has something to do with Isadore."
"I'm on my way." He said, and hung up.
***************************
Ten minutes later, I pulled up at home, raced upstairs and washed up, put on a nice blazer with blue jeans and topsiders. I threw some water in my hair and shook it around, causing curls to form. I grabbed my phone and called TJ to make sure he was okay before I went out again.
"Baby." He said, sounding normal as ever.
"TJ? You alright? Did they patch you up?" I ask, heading out the door I get back in the car and look at the time. It was 7:30 and I was guessing my mom wanted us there by 8.
"Yeah, this shit still hurt though. I'm at home. When you coming back?" He asks, in that deep, raspy voice that was sex to me.
"I got some stuff to handle babe. I'll see you tomorrow, so we can pick out my suit for graduation." I said. "One more week."
"Whatever you choose, will be perfect so I don't even care. I just want my baby back."
"Believe me, if I could, I would." I say, driving back towards downtown, wasting my gas once again, for some drama. I was low key excited to see all of this blow up in Isadore's face.
"Well, I guess I gotta spend one last night, dreaming about you." He said, making me blush. "Call me when you go to bed aight?"
"Will do. Love you."
"Love you too."
As soon as I hung up on TJ, Zeph called right back.
"Zeph, are you getting ready?" I asked, turning into the underground parking lot of the company.
"Yeah I'm on my way. Stay on the line though, I'm pulling up."
"Me too." I say, as I turn into Level 6.
"I see you." He says, honking the horn behind me. I hang up the phone and park. He parks right beside me and we both step out. We walk around our cars and dap each other up. Side by side, we walk through the empty dark parking lot, in search of our mother.
"Call her." I tell him. He gets his phone out, and dials our mom up.
"Boys." She says, before the phone even rings, we both jump and turn around and see mom, and Donyelle standing in front of us.
"Hello Zephyrus." Donyelle says.
"Evening."
"Hey Donyelle." I say. She waves and flips her hair.
"Hello, sons." Mom says, pulling us both into a motherly hug. I didn't even notice that Zeph was wearing a nice button down polo shirt with black slacks, and dress shoes.
"You two look very nice." Donyelle says.
"Thanks." Zeph and I say in unison.
"Don't they." Mom says. "Follow me." She adds, with the HIV files still in her hand.
We all follow behind our mom in a group, with our game faces on. I was almost certain that Zeph, and Donyelle both knew about Isadore's secrets. But for some reason, the proof I have of his gay affair with a lawyer from California, was a part of the story only I possessed.
We made it to the front entrance and walked in, one by one. Mom waved off all of the employees that were in her way. King Motors and Industries, was a very nice facility. Almost the entire building was made of glass, even the desks were a diamond-like clear.
"Elijah!" My mother alerted one of the salesmen, who was walking past us in a hurrying manner with his phone in his hand. He was a pleasantly plump black man, with a bald head and mustache.
"Yes, Mrs. King?" He says, holding the phone by his side.
"Where is my husband?" Mom asks him, snatching the phone. She began to read his most recent texts. "Isadore, your wife is here. I think something is wrong." She said.
"He's in a meeting, he's about to close a big deal." Elijah said, clearing his throat.
"There!" Donyelle said, pointing up to a visible conference room, where Isadore was standing before a bunch of businessmen, discussing a "big deal".
My mom hands Elijah back his phone, and he scurried away like an animal. We walk to a huge glass elevator, and step inside. As we go up, I begin to get nervous, as to what my mom is about to do. We step out of the elevator, and Donyelle leads us to the conference room, and my mom busts in through the door, with her hands on her hips, and so does Donyelle. Zeph and I sort of, ease our ways in.
"Umm. Sherrece? Kids? What are you doing here?" He asks, looking puzzled. "Uhh, Mr. Williams, this is my family. My two sons, Cedric, and Zephyrus and his girlfriend, Donyelle. And of course my wife, Sherrece." He introduces us, to the people at the large oval shaped table.
"Hello gentlemen, I was just coming here, to tell my husband that I want a fucking divorce. From his lying, sneaking, cheating, HIV infected ASS!"
"Excuse me?" The fat white guy, named Mr. Williams gasped.
"What? That's insane. Who told you this?" Isadore, asked, looking directly at Donyelle, and then the files in my mom's hand. "Where did you get that??" He yells, reaching for the files. Donyelle blocked his reach and stared him in the eyes. "Donyelle, you bitch!" He raised his hand to slap her.
"Don't you dare touch me!" Donyelle yells. Zeph steps in front of all three of them.
"I dare you." He whispered.
"Cut the crap Isadore, we all know." I said, waving my phone in the air.
"Does the name Aldridge Peterson mean anything to you? Because your little boyfriend told me everything! About all the labor days, and Christmases you spent getting fucked in the ass by another man! And coming home, trying to kiss me with the same lips that were on another man's penis?" She screams, Isadore looks sick, like he's about to throw up.
There are whispers and gasps floating around the conference table.
"Don't you think it's sad, how it didn't take me telling your wife about you, for the truth to come out?" Donyelle began.
"What?" Mom asks.
"I have HIV as well. But don't get me wrong. I did nothing with that pig!" She points at Isadore. "But when I found out I was sick, I went to several workshops and seminars for HIV awareness, and just so happened to run into Isadore at one of them. He made me promise not to say anything, and held my secret against my relationship with Zephyrus." She says, shaking her head.
"You are unbelievable." I say, to Isadore.
"Y'all aren't gonna come up in here and insult me, you don't even know the full story!" Isadore screamed. "Leave at once! I'm in the middle of a meeting.
"And that poor Aldridge man, thought that he infected you, and he had pity for you. He tried to get in touch with you for months and you ignored him! You never said sorry for giving him HIV or nothing! And he loved you. Who does that?" I say, raising my voice.
"You watch your mouth little boy. Or-
"Or what?" I say, breaking through the crowd, and facing him. "Do something."
"Cedric, stand down." He says to me. I brush past him and plug my phone into his computer, that was showing a powerpoint on car developments, and pulled up the emails. "You see, people? All these ignored emails, from a sad guy who only wanted love. But did this freak, you see standing here give a damn? Clearly not! Because he gave up a gorgeous woman and his family for a one night stand that turned into a regular ongoing thing. And from what I've investigated, you have been messing around with men since college, and got the HIV virus three years ago, right before-"
"Right before your mom and I stopped having sex. I was trying to protect her! From catching it from me. That's why we haven't done anything! I did that for you." He says, cutting me off.
"I don't wanna hear that pity party shit! You are insane, and I don't ever wanna see you again Isadore King! I hope you burn in hell! I want you to take all your antibiotics at once with a gallon of vodka and DIE! Kill yourself!" She says, storming out of the room. Donyelle shakes her head and follows her.
I look over at Zeph, who was looking down shaking his head as well. Then to the twenty people sitting at the table, staring at our family drama. Isadore sat down in his chair and unplugged my phone and tossed it to me.
"You happy now?" He asks. "You've finally done it... Thirteen years of hating me, and never calling me dad paid off huh? I'm ruined. Let yourselves out." He says, waving us off, and popping open a bottle of BudLite, he pulled from under his desk.
Zeph and I turn and leave the room. When we made it outside, we were sure that Donyelle and my mom were gone. We walked back to our cars, and stood in front of his, looking at Atlanta swirl at our feet
"One more week. And all of this will be behind us." He says.
"Yeah. I don't know if I can take it even that long." I confess.
"We're Kings. We can take anything that comes our way. It's the repairing of our lives that's what gets us every time." He replies, looking at me. I look over to him and smile.
"That's the smartest thing I've heard you say in a long time." I laugh.
"Fuck you!" We both burst out laughing and sigh, staring at the city.