The amalgamated effect of two boys messing up the normal order of my life left me so troubled that I couldn't sleep until dawn today morning. It was deeply frustrating and annoying - not able to sleep although you're super tired.
However, what really bumps me out is the utterly horrible dream I wake up from. My mother always tells me that morning dreams tend to come true hence; this remembrance makes me even more upset. Things can never be easy for me!
I roll over and see the time from my mobile. It's half past noon and I jump up from my bed. My forehead in fact my whole body is drenched in sweat in fact, and I'm very thirsty. Somehow, my shaky hands grab the water bottle from the nightstand and I gulp down some water.
On getting off the bed, I quickly use the washroom and later brush my teeth. I feel a pit in my stomach due to skipping breakfast. I decide to make myself a cup of coffee and munch on some biscuits.
As I make coffee, I take several exasperated sighs realizing that I've to wash loads of clothes as well as my hair. Regardless, I sit on the couch and turn on the television to enjoy my coffee and chocolate biscuits.
Certainly my mind is not here. It keeps going back to Niall more than Steven for some strange reasons. I think of the "personal problem" he mentioned a few days ago as well as anticipate the reason why he thinks I might like him. Why would I ever like him? I wouldn't consider him even if I was on deathbed and he was the last man standing. He is a jerk, an asshole, and I hate him.
I feel a strange kind of tension and numbness rise and drop in my body, resulting in me throwing away the coffee. Disgusted, I look through the refrigerator and try to settle on what to make for lunch, or should I say brunch. The idea of making my first Sunday brunch excites me and I'm thankful for it because it shoves aside my dampened mood.
Jogging back to the sitting area, I flip to Vh1 and turn up the music. Rihanna's "We Found Love" comes on and I tap my feet a tad. I fetch some prawns from the freezer and settle on making prawn curry and steamed rice. Cool winds arrive inside my flat and totally lifts my mood and I engross myself in cooking the brunch.
When it's 1.30 Pm, I am done making my brunch and the smell of the prawns fill my apartment and overwhelm my sensory organs. It affects me to such a great extent that I feel hungry instantly. Therefore, I don't waste any more time and get inside the bathroom to take a nice bath.
The "nice" bath consumes more than 30 minutes, but I feel fresh and happy for some weird reason. I apply body lotion after coming back to my room and cream on my face before slipping into a pair of blue shorts and white camisole. I serve myself a plate full of hot and soft steamed rice and prawn curry, feeling proud to have cooked a whole meal all by myself. Sitting on the couch, I flip through the channels and settle on Romedy Now where "Remember Me" is on. I get excited with Robert Pattinson being one among the list of several men on whom I've a super soft corner.
I commence eating lunch and something about Robert Pattinson - maybe his pale complexion, British accent and lean physique reminds me of Steven. However, strangely I don't feel any rush run through my entirety when I remember him. In fact, I feel extremely ashamed that I became so clingy towards Steven, showed as if I've some right on him, reflected that I'm such a needy and desperate girl, and together lost my self-esteem completely.
The realization makes me even more thoughtful and I end up musing on the events that occurred between Steven and I through these few weeks. And my sense of guilt for causing someone problem rises in me, making me extremely uncomfortable. The next thing I know is grabbing my mobile and typing an apologetic message to Steven.
I type and retype words to form the message, but don't send anything. Suddenly, I remember today is Indian Independence Day and that can be used as a nice weapon to start a conversation with him. Therefore, I type "Hey, Happy Independence Day," and send.
I don't see if he sees the message or not, but simply concentrate on my lunch and the movie. Another 20 minutes pass, and I'm done eating and feel super saturated with food. On dumping the plates and cooking utensils in the sink, I walk inside the bathroom to rinse my mouth and wash my hands. Owing to standing for longer hours while cooking, I feel my legs ache a lot. I jog back to the couch and lie down, grabbing my mobile and fixing my eyes on the television screen.
I check messenger and see that Steven checked my message, but didn't reply. I feel my heart fall on the ground because I'm sure that he mind my over clingy approach towards him. The fact that I've to now face him every day in office makes me sadder. I don't know if my anticipations are correct, I don't know what he is thinking, what is going on in his mind, I don't know anything. But, I want to know, I want to know so bad. I want to apologize to him and undo the wrongdoings. This is so not me, and at this moment I can actually realize how right Sirin, Amrita and even Niall were before. I had dug up my own grave and now I was simply being lied down.
I take my mobile and type another message, "Hey, what happen?" and send again, trying to sound normal.
He sees my message readily, but still doesn't reply.
I go crazy. "Hey, are you angry on me?" I send the third time.
He sees my message again, and ignores again.
"Heyyyy, what's wrong Steven? You're seeing my message, but not replying? Is everything alright? I apologize if I said something wrong," I send for the fourth time.
I've lost my mind and I can only feel my heartbeats accelerate to an abnormal rate. In normal situations, I wouldn't have bothered to send him a second message after he ignored my simple "Independence Day" one. However, something from inside me was craving to get some form of reciprocation from Steven - whatever it is, I was done with him and I was done feeling this jittery all the time.
I fold my legs and keep a hand on my chest. And just then, my phone buzzes and I ask God to give me strength to accept whatever Steven's reply is. I unlock the screen and open his message. He has sent me five messages.
"Relax," the first message reads.
"I'm not going to be somebody who messages you every 2 seconds," the second message reads.
"I have very low interest in knowing how everything is with everyone. You do not seem to realize that so I'm saying it."
"If you can please tone down and not message every 10 seconds."
"I'm not going to be able to respond. And you don't like that, so do not create a situation like that in the first place," his last message reads.
As we see in movies, I should either drop the mobile from my hand or throw it away and break it. But this is real life and I behave normally - I keep my mobile beside me and lean against the couch. I absolutely feel numb in my entirety and strangely find myself smiling at the situation.
This is actually what I was looking for. I needed closure to understand my road ahead, to get a hint of how and what I should feel and finally move on from Steven's chapter of my life. I don't even try to make myself think let alone realize that some guy, who just caught my attention because of his good looks ruthlessly, blasted me for no good reason - without even giving me an opportunity.
It's not that I'm desperate to have a boyfriend, or too ashamed to know that every time I get rejected I lose my self-esteem to a great deal. It's that I'm too optimistic to lose hope, and every time I meet a new guy, I feel that maybe this time my optimism will turn into reality. And when I get rejected I promise myself that I won't commit this mistake henceforth, but besides being optimistic I'm extremely sensitive as well.
Importantly, for the first time I don't feel any immediate regret after facing another episode of rejection. I look at my mobile and learn that it's exactly 5 pm. I turn my eyes at the television and find some other movie is on, whose name I don't even have energy to read at the top right corner.
Therefore, in the hope to feel something and figure out what that feeling is I get out of my apartment and walk to the common corridor. I don't see if Liam and Niall's apartment's door is locked or unlocked - something least of my concern at the moment. Cool winds blow and hit against my skin, provoking me to wrap my arms around my body. My eyes shift up in the sky and I see how beautifully it is painted white. I remember the dense clouds our flight passed through when me, mom and dad came from Calcutta to Bangalore this time. And as I reminisce about Calcutta I could finally feel my eyes well up.
I didn't want to cry hence, I start to call up my friends who are based in Bangalore also. All of them sounds busy and turns me down when I ask them if they want to go out for a movie. Dejected and now annoyed, I commence crying.
I turn around and glance at Liam and Niall's apartment and see that it's unlocked only. I could really talk to Liam right now and feel a little less stressed, but his irritating cousin stands between us and I've no interest in communicating with him et al.
Talk about the devil and he appears. The door opens and there comes out Niall in a red striped shirt and blue skinny jeans. Our eyes lock instantly and I detest him seeing me crying. The last thing I want right now is dealing with him. I hope and even pray that he leaves without bothering me.
I break our gaze and turn around again, wiping away my tears and sniffing. I hear footsteps closing on to me and soon Niall stands beside me. His legs are crossed, arms also crossed before his chest, but eyes are unusually on the streets ahead.
Nobody speaks for a few seconds before Niall breaks the silence.
"I'm sorry," he hums, voice deeper than ever.
I don't respond.
"I mean it," he adds. "I know I've not been in my best behavior since we met, and I feel bad for that."
I still don't respond.
"I hope you can wipe off the hard feelings and accept my apology," he says in a soft tone and turns around to leave.
I don't know if I've forgiven him or maybe I need someone to share my present feelings with, but I call after him.
"Steven insulted me," I retort, a tear rolling down my cheek.
I hear his footsteps cease and I know he will come back to me.
"He showed me his real colors. He finally did what everyone has been alerting me of. I was too dumb to notice that there wasn't ever any chance. I was too immature to understand that he never really liked me. I was too lost in my own world. You were right, these fascinations and imaginations I hold onto so dearly are utter bullshit. Only if I could've realized it a little earlier, only if," I bend my head down and sob.
I don't hear any commotion for split seconds. And the next thing I know is that I'm in Niall's arms. He has embraced me close to his body and I can clearly hear his heartbeats, which are beating really fast and loud.
It's weird for me, extremely weird. I can't process my mind as to how to react. Therefore, I don't even hug him back at least until he pulls away a little and puts my arms around his hips.
And strangely, I laugh a tad at this deed of his.
"This is the best help I can provide to people," Niall whispers in my ears and I smile. "You can get as warm as you need and stay here as long as you want."
I smile harder.
However, our hug doesn't last more than a few minutes and I take the initiative to pull away. My hair gets stuck in his shirt button and both of us laugh mildly. He carefully takes the strand of hair out of the button so; we're looking at each other now.
He keeps finding something in my face or expressions to be more precise and somehow that makes me shy and I look away.
"Thank you," I say in a cracked voice, sniffing and looking at the ground.
For some reason, Niall still keeps his hands on the sides of my waist and I don't push him away. I must tell this is the most unusual moment of my life until now.
"I know what you're thinking," Niall smirks and leans back, so he can take a glimpse of my face.
"What?" I furrow my brows, looking in his eyes now.
"You're confirming yourself that I'm indeed an asshole, right?"
I laugh. "Well, not that I would mind doing that, but sadly I'm not."
"Good," he finally moves his hands off my waist and sticks them in his pockets, moving a few steps behind. "Before you start doing, I better ask you."
"Ask me what?" I furrow my brows harder.
"I've grown tired of refusing to accept your moves now, so I'll take a shot and ask you out on dinner, would you like to go, Noddy?" he raises one brow.
I widen my eyes and move back. "What? Moves? I made moves on you? What a huge load of utter crap is that!" I shake my head and cross my arms before my chest.
"It's okay, Noddy. Now, don't be embarrassed, I'm used to girls giving me attention," he shrugs. "Although you're the first boring one, but a little variety is always good, right?" he puts his lips in between his teeth, stifling laugh.
I open my mouth and widen my eyes harder before slapping hard on his arm. He breaks into mad laughter and grabs my hand. Somehow his touch sends chills down my system and I feel the temperature around me escalate rapidly. He holds my hand properly and looks back in my eyes.
"I know a great restaurant near the gas station. Stay ready at 8.30 Pm, okay?" he closes my mouth and smiles from his cheeks.
"I don't wanna go anywhere with you," I retort.
He laughs again. "Alright, I'm sorry now, okay? Please let me take you out to dinner," he makes a baby face and almost involuntarily, I laugh as well.
"Is that a yes?" he asks again.
"Okay," I nod, smiling now.
"Good," he leaves my hand and turns on his heels to enter his apartment.
I keep looking at his trail and when I also make steps to walk to my apartment, Niall says something.
"Life isn't always the way we want," he says. "We don't always end up with a happy ending we'd like rather an ending we've to be happy with. But, life is only one and you only get to live once. Don't give up on it, for people or things that should have zero significance to you."
He looks at me a little longer than normal and enters his apartment, leaving me behind in a train of thoughts.
As I see him shut the door behind him, I finally walk to my apartment. The door is kept ajar from before when I hastily left and after going in, I sit perched on the couch. The television is also on, but my mind is only filled with Niall's words.
Firstly, I can't believe that he asked me out and secondly, I can't believe that he hugged me. How complicated and complex is he? It would've been so easy if he just goes back to being an asshole and I stay here hating him. Furthermore, I don't know why I even accepted his offer; I should've just dodged him.
I can't figure out how long I sit there, pondering, but when I hear my mobile ringing loud I get dragged out from my thoughts. I find my mother calling me. After picking up the call, I turn off the television and jog back to my room.
"Did you have dinner? What did you make? Are you taking your calcium tablets properly? Don't stay awake till late night, okay?" my mother rambles all her questions at once.
I sigh. "Mom, I'm fine and please quit worrying so much."
"What will you have for dinner?"
"I'm.... I'm going out with my neighbor friend," I say.
"Liam?"
I try to correct her, but then I decide not to engage into another few minutes of intense conversation with her.
"Yeah, Liam," I smile, nodding.
"He's a nice guy, kind," I could sense that she's smiling too.
"Yeah," I smile harder. "He is kind."
"Anyway, you have fun. And don't drink too much, okay?" she warns me.
"I'm just going for dinner, mom. I'm not going to drink, chill."
"I know how good you're in keeping your promise."
I laugh now. "I won't drink."
"Good, bye, goodnight," she says.
"Goodnight," I retort and hang up.
I keep the mobile away and anticipate my mother's reaction had she known I'm going out with Niall. Although neither of my parents met him when they were living with me for a week, but from what they heard from Liam, I know they don't like Niall much.
I drag myself out of my thoughts, which come and go every ten seconds when I realize it's already 8.00 Pm. I pull myself up off the couch and jog to my room. Still shocked at being asked out by Niall, I fetch red colored full sleeved top and dark skinny jeans from the wardrobe. I plan to dress very simple because more than decking up, I was interested in seeing how the night goes with Niall.
When I enter the bathroom and stand under the shower, my mind goes back to Friday when I slapped Niall and told him to stay away from me. And today, I'm going out on dinner with him? What in the earth's name is wrong with me?
I sigh and cringe my face. I don't know why he always bumps into me and we always end up meeting with each other.
After coming out from the bathroom, I dry myself up with the towel and slip into the top and jeans. I apply a little eye liner and mascara before dabbing some lip gloss over my lips. I know I haven't got much time, but I hurriedly put the body spray around me anyway and grab my purse to run out of the room. On grabbing my mobile and turning the television, lights and fan off I leave my apartment. I lock the door and put the key back inside my purse.
While I walk towards Niall's apartment, I don't hear any commotion, but strangely I'm very excited. I settle my dress constantly and finally reach his apartment, noticing Niall. Our eyes lock almost instantly and I feel my heart stop beating for a second. I don't notice right away what he's wearing, but his looks are what make me shiver inside. My entirety starts to numb down and I feel I'm getting intoxicated in the depth of the blue pigment of his eyes.
After awhile, I finally acquire the sense to break our gaze and I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. I also notice that he is locking his apartment, bending down and really concentrating on the lock and key. I lean against the wall beside him and cross my arms before my chest, sighing audibly.
"Let's go," Niall smiles at me once he straightens up.
It's such a rare image to see him behaving normally that I get lost in his eyes for a few seconds.
"Yeah, let's go," I smile back, nodding.
We walk down the stairs, silently and hit the road. We still keep quiet and I look around, trying to find some topic to have a conversation about.
"Ahhmm...." I hear Niall hum. As I look at him, he continues, "You're looking beautiful." He runs his eyes all over me and smiles a tad.
I instantly turn scarlet and scan him as well. And it is now that I see how handsome Niall actually is. He wears a simple white tee, paired with a brown jacket and a pair of blue denims. His luscious blonde hair is brushed onto his head, some falling over his forehead - giving a little messy look. His lips are painted with a grin that is even more beautiful than an angelic smile and reflecting that he actually might be a good person. However, of all his features his pair of sapphire blue eyes makes my knees wobble. It's so pretty that I wonder how can this boy be so rude and a total asshole most of the times.
When I hear a dog bark near us, I realize I've been staring at Niall for a long time now.
I shift my eyes, still blushing. "Thank you."
"The sky looks amazing," Niall says and I immediately look at the sky, noticing him from the corner of my eyes, pointing at it as well.
I look away and feel very different. It's close to 9.00 Pm, and while in normal situations I would much prefer to stay at home and read a book, I'm out in a starry night with Niall. This is the most unusual behavior I have shown in my 22 years of life. Generally, I wouldn't even look at the person I've got so irritated with that I even slapped him. Going out that too just a couple of days later, is insane in every sense of the word. I try to think of the possible reason, and neither Niall's apology nor him asking me out sounds grand. Internally, I smack myself for breaking my promise and forgiving Niall so easily. I guess, that's one of my biggest vulnerabilities - being gullible.
I don't even realize when Niall and I hit the main road. The calm and quite sight of it, without the familiar hustle and bustle that traffic brings along startles me. I look at Niall from the corner of my eyes and find him rubbing his palms on one another. The weather is absolutely lovely - Bangalore at its best.
"So, what exactly happened with Steven?" Niall finally breaks the silence between us.
I look at the ground for a few seconds. I don't really feel like talking about it to anyone, but Niall almost knows everything. And as much as I detest it the reality is that he has always been right when it came to judging Steven, and I have been badly wrong. Telling him would give me a confirmation that I'm finally moving on for good.
"He insulted me like anything," I reply in a very soft tone.
"Why?"
I laugh and look at him. "You really don't wanna know why."
"I think I really do," he nods his head.
I take a loud sigh, nodding an "okay," before starting to narrate to him whatever happened between Steven and I since morning.
I finish quite soon, surprisingly, and my voice is still very soft and somewhat sounds gloomy. I guess, I was so in shock with Niall's apology and asking me out that I kind of forgot that Steven insulted me.
Niall pockets his hands and slows down his pace a tad. I look at him, waiting for another of his banter-filled remark to just piss me off.
But he doesn't, in fact what he says completely astounds me.
"It's okay, that's life," he smiles. "You trip over, get up, and move on."
I'm so stunned that I don't blink my eyes readily after his reply. This makes Niall laugh out loud.
"What's with the stare?" he asks, running a hand through his hair.
"Ahhmm...." I mumble. "That's it? You won't humiliate and insult me?" I ask, shamelessly.
He laughs harder. "You really are one of a kind, Noddy."
And somehow, him calling me Noddy tells that we're in normal situation and this isn't anyone, but Niall. Somehow the nickname he has given me makes me feel relaxed inside, although I don't why.
We walk for some more time as the weather gets colder. Niall cracks joke on almost everything he sees and I can't help, but feel my stomach burst in laughter. I discover this new side of Niall, and it actually makes me like him a teeny-tiny bit.
"By the way, where exactly are we going?" I ask, when I realize that we've walked at least a kilometer.
"Did you spot any gas station?" Niall asks me instead.
"No," I shrug, and look around.
"Then we've to walk more, Noddy," he retorts and I look at him, angry. "Now, it would be good if you could use some of the gray matter I'm sure God has given you, wouldn't it?" he resumes, stifling a laugh.
I slap on his arm quite hard, and he breaks into laughter.
"Why? Huh? Why do you always talk like this to me?" I ask, crossing my arms before my chest.
"What can I say, Noddy?" he shrugs. "It's my favorite thing to do, I guess," he smirks, the sapphire tinge of his eyes shining even in the dark of the night.
I roll my eyes and shake my head. I think why on earth did I even agree to come out with Niall, and that makes me feel that something must be wrong with me.
Soon, we reach the gas station and I find myself looking around, trying to guess which restaurant Niall thought of us to go. However, I grow impatient very quickly.
"There it is," Niall says. As I look at him, excitedly, he resumes, "We've to cross the road, c'mon."
We jog across the road and find the restaurant called "The Platter" written on a wooden cut out, standing before us. I smile at the view and feel impressed at Niall's choice.
"You like it, don't you?" he asks, catching me.
I smile widely, strangely blushing before nodding. He laughs and pats on my back. "Let's go in," he says.
We walk in, and enter the place whose décor and ambience leaves me completely awestruck. The color combination at dark chocolate brown and copper colors with beautiful lighting makes the place stand out among other restaurants of this area. I knew from before that "The Platter" is a restaurant with a lounge, but the small pub attached to it comes as a total surprise. Being an avid drinker, the discovery excites me very much. I look at Niall, wanting to know and hoping if he would choose the bar over the lounge.
"You want the bar, right?" he points at the bar that has a dance floor present near to it as well.
My eyes widen and I nod, clueless. "How did you know?" I ask.
"I'm a soothsayer, Noddy," he stretches his arms, animating.
I laugh and move inside the pub with him. As we walk to the bar and occupy two stools, Niall continues with his animation of being a soothsayer and I laugh out loud.
Drunken people all around, dancing like there is no tomorrow, comes to my sight. Some girls even try to snatch Niall away from me while we walk to the bar. Not that I mind, but Niall and I aren't even together.
On reaching the bar, we sit on two stools and I instantly commence to scan the bartenders. To my utmost disappointment, none of them looks good and I shift my eyes to the bar to decide what to order.
"Good evening, ma'am," a bartender smiles at me as he stands before me, holding the menu card.
"Good evening," I smile, and take the menu card.
He leaves right away, and I try to pass the menu card to Niall, but he refuses to take.
"You decide," he says.
I sigh and look through the menu that is pretty cheap and versatile. When done, I call the bartender again to place the orders.
"Hi, ma'am," he smiles again.
I nod. "One pitcher, one sherry garlic chicken and one oyster mushroom rice. Give the rice later, when we say, okay?" I point my index finger at him.
He nods an "okay" with the inevitable smile.
I sigh again, and this time, take a look around myself. Although nothing new catches my attention I remain stunned at the amount of groping that is occurring. And call it strange, it reminds me of those two girls Niall had his hands on the night Liam threw a party for his promotion at their place.
"Pitcher? Are we getting drunk tonight?" Niall asks, coughing.
"One pitcher won't get us drunk," I roll my eyes.
"Really? Your capacity is that high?" he smirks, leaning closer to me.
"How much do you know about me?"
"Please entertain me, Noddy," he crosses his arms before his chest, and prop up on his elbow.
"Watch me out, tonight," I raise my eye brows.
"Woooo," he rolls his lips. "I'm excited. Until now I thought you're the most boring person on earth."
I look at him helpless more than annoyed. I can't believe he can be this irritating, every time and all the time. And I can't believe I lost my senses so bad that I even expected for him to behave any different than what he has been doing all this while.
I don't know how long I glare at him, but when I feel a hand on mine I know it's long. The touch makes me break my gaze from him and I shift my eyes away, keeping them on the bartender who rests the pitcher before us, along with two glasses.
"One pitcher, one sherry garlic chicken and one oyster mushroom rice," the bartender says after placing every order.
"Can I ask you something?" I ask Niall, catching him with his eyes on his phone as the bartender leaves.
He immediately looks at me, and keeps his mobile away on the counter - a smirk hauntingly decorating his lips. "You don't need to ask me for asking something, Noddy. That's so not you, you just shoot right away."
I cringe my face, and furrow my brows, but decide to avoid his comment anyway.
"I read in Psychology that being rude or sarcastic is a defense mechanism for those who're somehow troubled in their lives," I swallow, and continue, "If you've any problem, instead of being rude you can tell me. Maybe I can help, you never know."
Niall's expression becomes as blank as any person can make and I don't know what to think or how to react. His eyes bear the same sapphire tinge it has, but his face is ridiculously blank.
And then, as I open my mouth to ask him if he's ever gonna respond, he erupts into fits of mad laughter. I blink my eyes rapidly, totally taken aback.
"What?" I ask, seeing him hold his belly while laughing and even clapping his hands.
He catches breath after a few seconds. "You're hilarious, Noddy. Now, I absolutely take back my words of calling you boring. Please forgive me," he joins his hands, and leans closer to me.
I grit my teeth and lock my jaws. I can literally feel heat emitting from my body. I haven't felt anger at this level for so long. And this realization immediately makes me storm off from the place. Not wasting a second, I grab my bag and mobile and leave the stool to exit the pub.
However, I don't make it even till the door of the pub, leading to the lounge when I hear jogs behind me. And I know those are of Niall's. He grabs my hand from behind and circles his hand around my wrist so hard that I couldn't even attempt to wiggle out of his grasp.
I turn around, and lock eyes with him. They're strangely very pale and cold, and somewhat numb. I don't understand and only stare at him deeply.
"Sorry," he breaks his gaze from me and looks at the ground.
I take a deep breath. "Look, Niall. I don't know what kind of people you like to be friends with, but I'm definitely not that type. Maybe I'm boring, a loner, and imagine stupid shit all the time, but I'm like this - this is what defines me. I don't have lots of friends like you nor do I have good looking boys throwing themselves at me, I'm just a very simple and normal girl. I don't know why I even accepted your dinner offer, when clearly I'm boring you. I've a severe problem seeing someone having even a tad problem due to me. I don't wanna do that to you, so you enjoy now and all the time. I'll not bother you anymore, or should I say give you chances to make you wanna bother me," I jerk my hand off his hold. "Goodnight," I say and turn on my heels to leave.
I exit the pub, and eventually the lounge. A tiny part inside of me tells me that Niall will come after me again, but even after I cross the road and he doesn't come - I'm sure he won't come anymore.
I wait at the bus stop for a few minutes, trying to gulp down the anger and emotion that runs through my entirety.
Unusually, I don't feel anger after taking those few minutes. I think clearly and decide that either I've to change my apartment or job to at least chuck one piece of problem off my life. Both Steven and Niall have totally messed up life so bad.
Many buses ply on the road before me. As I'm about to start walking towards my building, I catch a glimpse of Niall across the road. He stands - angry, confused, helpless, apologetic, and what not. However, I break my gaze regardless and decide to move on.
"Nadia," his voice is the heaviest and deepest I've heard in him. It rumbles down the street, and compels me to stop.
I look at him though he looks slightly small from such a distance.
"Don't go," he says. "I'm sorry."
I keep looking at him, and feel an untold mystery lie coveted in those oceanic blue eyes. It captivates me and I know some external force is controlling my sensory organs now.
Suddenly, a speeding car comes with sharp beam of lights falling on the street and I cover my eyes with my hands. But, when I hear someone's scream and realize that an accident has occurred my heart falls to the pit of my stomach.
"It has to be Niall," I think.
I open my eyes, moving my hands away - tears already wetting my face. I run across the road, when people have already assembled at the spot. I rum my trembling hands through my hair, when a hand rests on my shoulder. Frantic, I turn around and notice Niall standing before me - arms crossed before his chest and eyes still the same cold and numb like earlier.
I breathe heavily and sigh harder. And I don't know when I commence to cry audibly. Niall comes closer to me and embraces me in his arms, and again beyond my understanding I throw my hands around his torso.
He runs a comforting hand on my hair. That's when I feel my anger and hastily pull myself away from him, and start hitting him.
"Idiot, asshole, you're the worst person on earth," I blabber again and again, while hitting Niall.
He defends himself for awhile before grabbing my hands firmly, and afterwards cupping my face within his palms.
"I'm sorry, okay?" his lips is just inches away from mine, our nose tips touch, and his breath aerate over my face.
I don't respond, but only breathe - chest moving inward and outward.
"And, I promise I won't behave this way anymore," he lets go of me and moves back, leaving me still panting.
I glare in his eyes, and feel an yearning for my approval in them. Thanks to my soft heart, I nod my head.
"Fine," I say, wiping off the tears from my face and sniffing.
"Can we go and finish our dinner, now? The place will close at 11.30 Pm," Niall states, more than asks.
"Okay," I reply in my slightly cracked voice from the crying.
Niall and I walk inside the pub, my tears dried up now although I'm sure my face looks nothing more than gutter. People stare at us as we reoccupy our stools, but I try to ignore them.
Niall pours us two full glasses of beer and we sip on the drinks silently for sometime. The alcohol calms the tension running inside me, and I close my eyes - feeling relaxed and light.
"Why don't you like me?" I ask, out of the blue.
Niall looks at me, completely taken aback for a few seconds. I don't break my gaze and keep staring at his blue eyes.
He smiles. "I'm not answering that," he retorts while finishing off his beer.
"You don't have a choice," I press.
"I don't have an answer."
"You cannot NOT have an answer."
"You don't know me, Nadia," he casts his eyes down, the empty beer glass still held tight around his fingers.
I widen my eyes and glare at him, shocked to hear him take my right name.
"I'm willing to know," I say, leaning closer to him. I'm aware about feeling slightly tipsy.
We see in each other's eyes for awhile before Niall smirks and moves back. He pops on a piece of chicken in his mouth and pours himself one more glass of beer.
"Finish the rest," he demands, passing the pitcher to me.
I don't respond anymore, and pour the rest of the beer in my glass.
We drink the beers and finish the chickens not uttering a single word. I witness couples' dancing around arm in arm while some drunk people glare at them and pass comments. I've to agree that the crowd of this pub isn't good at all.
"I don't dislike you, Noddy," Niall says as I turn my eyes to notice him serving me oyster mushroom rice in a white plate. I assume he must've asked for the plates from the bartender when I wasn't looking.
"That's a lie," I take three large sips off my beer.
"How are you so certain?"
"I've seen enough in life to misjudge people."
He looks deep in my eyes, and retorts, "There's always a possibility."
"If you don't dislike me then why do you always humiliate and annoy me?" I eat some of the rice from my plate after keeping the empty beer glass aside.
"I don't like to give so much explannations," he looks away. "I've given you enough already."
"What? When?" I furrow my brows.
"It's close to 11.30, finish your dinner fast," he coughs, and concentrates on eating.
In normal situations, I would've pestered to get more answers, but I don't - instead I just obey his instructions blindly.
When we hit the streets, it's freaking cold and I'm shivering terribly even after wearing a full sleeved top. I cross my arms before my chest and observe the stars slowly shining from behind the clouds. It's a beautiful sight with the winds kissing my cheeks, and I close my eyes and smile at it.
"You know, there's a reason for which blindness is a bad thing," Niall's voice reach my ears.
"What?" I open my eyes and look at him, brows knitted together.
"Walking blind on the street is not a good idea," he laughs mildly.
I slap on his arm, and mock his joke. "HA HA HA, very funny," I roll my eyes.
We cross the gas station and a lot more of the road, entering our area's lane when my mobile informs it's midnight. The cold winds blow harder against my skin and I find my teeth tattering.
Niall laughs out loud. He takes off his jacket and wraps around me. I turn to my right to see him in action. His locks fall on my shoulders and a faint smirk paints his lips.
"Thank you," I smile from my cheeks. Niall nods.
"I feel a bit tipsy," I giggle, sticking my hands deep inside the jacket's pockets.
Niall smiles at my giggle. "I can see that," he says.
"Do I still bore you?"
"Not at all, Noddy. I took back my words long before."
I laugh as we enter the lane of our building.
"Hey, how much was the bill?" I ask, suddenly remembering.
"I thought you paid," he points his index finger at me, eyes widened.
"Are we doing a Rachel and Joey here?" I point my index finger as well.
"I guess, we are," he tickles the sides of my stomach, making me laugh out loud.
"I guess then we're not going back there anymore," I dramatise, and we laugh harder.
On entering our building, Niall carefully closes the main gate and we stealthily walk up the stairs lest the building people wake up. Call it strange, but we laugh all the way through and it is indeed a strange feeling for me that I totally enjoy.
"Time out, time out," I gesture to Niall as we reach our apartment floor.
"Alright," he agrees and pants.
We look at each other in the eye for a little longer than normal.
"Anyway," I say, shifting my sight away. "Thank you for the jacket," I open the jacket and hand it over to Niall.
"My pleasure, ma'am," he smiles, eyes glittering as he grabs the jacket.
"And thanks for the dinner though neither of us paid for it," I laugh. "But thank you, regardless. It was nice...... and relaxing," I close my eyes briefly and smile.
"Goodnight," Niall says.
I smile harder. "Goodnight," I turn on my heels to walk to my apartment as Niall tries to unlock his flat's door.
Suddenly, something strikes my mind and I stop.
"Niall?" I ask.
"Yes," he nods, entering his apartment.
"Can we be friends now?"
He smirks at me, runs a hand through his dense, blonde hair, and looks back at me. "Sure," he replies, and continues, "But, make sure you keep it for life."
I smile. "I'll give my best."
He grins at me one last time before both of us part ways for the night.