I Remember

Maturing in a Hurry

Primary school was a nice escape from my chaotic home life. I was always a good student. I was quiet and serious and neat. I was always the one picked to write up kids who would misbehave while the teacher stepped out. I hated when kids were bad, I didn't see any sense on just running around getting sweaty, musty and messing up your uniforms. We wore white button up shirts, blue skirts blue socks and black penny loafers. What I had failed to realized was that every one except us had a washing machine or the means to use one. The kids who had a real childhood wasn't supposed to be concerned with clean uniforms. Their only concern should be which way to run and or how fast. Their only concern should be to just be kids, goofy and cared for. Of course that wasn't my reality. I had to worry about clean uniforms, about food, shoes etc. I had to worry about surviving. We couldn't wash but once a week, iron once a week so forth and so on. We would only had one or two new shirts per year. So I had to wear a shirt at least three times before I was able to put it on the dirty clothes basket. It is just the way it was. We had to save lights, water, and gas. There was no fooling around, we seen the man come cut it all off, so we had to learn to make grown people's decisions. This was the reason I didn't play and ran crazy at lunch time or recess. One time my 4th grade teacher ask to speak to my parents. She wrote a note that asked my parents why was I so quiet? Why was I so timid and serious? Was there problems at home? Why couldn't I just loosened up like the other kids? I was trained to conserve everything, to eat a spoonful of rice, a thin piece of meat, a glass of kool aid, one spoonful of peas, everything in moderation because it was only two small incomes and 14 mouth to feed. Which in terms taught us to appreciate things in life better. But it also robbed us from the childhood every kid should be born to and enjoy. Where do you draw the line?
As I write this lines I'm discovering the why's and the how come's. I just found out the reason I was so serious and not playful. I had to grow up in a hurry. Immaturity will leave you left behind. I had to catch up or be left. I simply couldn't afford it. I remember...