Hi guys
Thank you all for reading, voting, commenting and fanning!! Its been great so far.
Another chapter :) Just because I can. Im writing exams at the moment so expect another upload next week only.
Hearts
Tee <3
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“We can talk for a while
But I have sweet nothing to say
You don’t want me anyway
You don’t want me anyway
So why?
Why should I stay?”
Chapter Five
Why does it always seem like I’m counting down the seconds of my pathetic waste of existence.
Why can’t I be left alone to wallow in my own sorrow.
Why do I have to try?
Like why do I have to make an effort?
What’s the fucking use?
I dressed in my usual outfit, jeans, a top and sneakers. My long dark red hair loose and covering my face at all times.
Not because I had bruises or anything.
God! Did I miss the pain.
No, my hair was covered so I wouldn’t be tempted to look up and take in my surroundings.
The pack hall was packed, it unnerved me.
The pack was happy, chatting and laughing together like a family.
I sat in the back away from my grandparents even though they insisted I sit with them, they sat right in the front, with the other high ranking pack member like the pack doctor. I sat in the back like the piece of shit I am.
The room went silent, as the Alpha walked into the room. Everybody bowed their head as a sign of respect. I could feel the power emitting off him, it surrounded me, I was suffocating because besides acknowledging him as my Alpha I also acknowledged him as a mate. Instinct was pushing me run to him, to beg him to take me back but I held myself back.
This was so unnatural.
A mate didn’t want me.
I was on the edge, feelings bubbling inside me that I couldn’t pin point one, all I knew was that they were threating to bubble over.
I couldn’t handle being this close to him.
Again, I had no control of my actions, I looked up and followed his movements. He stood tall, the fact that all eyes on him didn’t affect his proud stance at all. I would been cowering under the pressure.
I’m a coward.
I looked away quickly, I couldn’t let myself linger on what was not mine anymore. Not that he ever was, I lost him before I could have him.
He walked onto the stage.
“Good evening. It is good to see that everybody is here for this very important meeting.” His voice filled the room, sending shivers down my spine.
Physical attraction made me sick.
“As you know our Beta has returned from his trip with his son.” He continued. “Please welcome Beta Anthony Thorne and his son Slade.”
Thorne.
Thorne.
Thorne.
Uncle Anthony.
Thorne.
Beta Thorne.
My father’s Beta.
He survived.
I thought, well I didn’t know there were survivors. Uncle Anthony was like my second father, I was the daughter he never had. That’s what he always said. His mate and he were my godparents. I was really close friends with their son Slade. We were inseparable. He was my other half.
Slade.
I looked up at the stage and my eyes met with brown. Almost black eyes.
That’s who he was.
I wanted to kick myself for forgetting.
How could I have forgotten.
He gave me a knowing smirk, to which I only raised my eyebrow in reply.
Thorne.
I felt relieved, something that was unfamiliar to me. For the first six years of my life we were so close, then my father ripped that away from me.
I cried for him, until I locked his memory away. But it’s coming back to me. We did everything together, he was two years older than me, and thought he knew everything. We went camping, and had sleep overs. We finished each other’s sentences.
I felt the need to be close to him, to…
What was I thinking?
We were not the same people we were when we were six. I was a child then, not tainted with the past twelve years of my life.
During my internal battle words were exchanged and the pack seemed pleased.
“That will be all.” The Alpha said, dismissing the pack. Refreshments were set up and everybody was welcomed.
I got to my feet and rushed to the door.
Needing to be alone.
“Sage.” A deep voice called out to me. I didn’t want to stop but something made me.
I turned to face Slade. He had a small smile playing on his lips, a familiar one.
“You remember now?”
“Yeah.” I said sheepishly, my gaze directed to on the floor, “I’m sorry, it’s just been awhile.” I confessed.
“No hard feelings.” He said, “Come say hello to my father.”
I nodded and followed him, I wished I hadn’t because his father was in deep conversation with the Alpha.
“Dad, look who I found.” Slade said, excitement leaking from his voice.
“Sage.” Beta Anthony said excitedly.
I glanced up at him, and took a quick look at the Alpha who looked annoyed.
“Alpha. Beta.” I said in respect.
“Sage.” The Alpha’s husky voice said in acknowledgement to my presence.
“Oh nonsense Sage, you know I never liked you to be so formal with me. Come over here and give your uncle a hug.”
I stared up at him as if he had just grown three heads.
A hug?
Was he seriously asking that?
Before I could protest he grabbed me gentle and hugged me, I was as stiff as an ironing board, and freaking out. I’m sure by now all the werewolves in the room could hear my erratic heartbeat.
Breathe.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
He eventually let go and I felt I could breathe again.
I stood next to Slade, who put his arm around me and kissed my forehead. He used to do this a lot when we were kids, he said that every time he done it was a reminder that he loves me and he will never stop protecting me.
We were some deep kids back then.
For once I didn’t stiffen, I welcomed his touch.
Beta Anthony looked at us expectedly, like he was waiting for us to tell him some big secret.
“Well?” he probed.
Slade rolled his eyes, “You know you should get that mate thing out of your head pops, Sage and I are not mates.” He said rolling his eyes.
“No way! I’ll tell you Alpha, these two were thick as thieves when they were younger and were so convinced that they were soul mates that they wanted us to bind them together. It was adorable.”
“They must be so devastated.” The Alpha said in a bored tone.
Devastated?
He didn’t know the meaning.
“I think we will manage just fine.” Slade said, never letting his arm around my shoulder drop. I was just silent refusing to talk because my voice would betray me.
“Don’t worry Sage, I still think of you as my daughter.” He joked. I gave him a small smile and diverted my gaze to my fingers, taking a quick glance at my mate, the Alpha.
I noticed him watching us quietly, his stance stiff, a tight jaw and a clouded look covered his face.
“If you will excuse me.” He said walking away.
“Alpha, we will talk more later.” Beta Anthony called after him, he just nodded and left. Without giving me a second glance.
“I’m sorry to hear about your father Sage.” Beta Anthony said. “He was a good man.”
Was he?
I shifted uncomfortably wanting to get away from here.
Slade didn’t say anything.
“Uh I have to go, I have some homework I need to complete.” I said.
“oh of course, don’t be a stranger now, come visit any time you can.” The beta said with his warm smile, walking away.
I let out a sigh, but forgot that Slade arm was still around me.
“You have homework?” he questioned.
“Yeah tons.” I said shrugging his arm off me and turning to leave.
“I haven’t seen you in twelve years and you don’t want to just catch up.” He said, hurt reflecting from his eyes before he masked it.
“I do. Just not right now. I just need some space.”
“Right. Space. See you around.” He said walking away.
I needed to get out of here. I walked towards the door for the second time this evening, after telling my grandparents I was heading home.
But before I made my escape a hand grabbed my wrist bringing me to a standstill. Electric shocks shot up my arm. I involuntary took a sharp breath in.
“Not so fast.” He whispered in my ear. I was pretty sure it was so only I heard, but the feeling it gave me was unexplainable.
“We need to talk.” He said.
Talk.
He wanted to talk.
I wanted to die.