See? Here I am! Truckin' on! I ain't lyin'
Two days later...
GWEN'S POV:
"Ok, sure. Yes, I'll definitely call you if....WHEN he wakes up. I promise. It was so great to finally meet you all. Gavin's so lucky to have a wonderful family." I said to Gavin's mum and dad and brother.
We were standing outside of Gavin's room. It was absolutely KILLING ME not to be IN his room. And it had killed me for the past two hours, as I had to wait here in the hall with Nate, while his family all visited. They're his actual family, so I was lowest in the order of things, so I got kicked out while they visited. I mean, not actually kicked out...I gave them my spot. I could have stayed and let just one of them visit at a time, but....they're his family. I couldn't do that.
And the doctors allowed all three of them in there at once, which was good. Took up less time, anyway!
They were saying goodbye now, and they'd be back tomorrow. His mum told me he's in good hands with me by his side, so she didn't want to stay here all day and bother me.
They had finally all found flights in. They'd been trying for a few days, but there were terrorist attacks and and also weather problems going on all at the same time, so they finally just made it now. They hadn't even learned that he was kidnapped till a few days ago!
His brother Oliver got here first, and sat in his room for an hour with me. I let him have his privacy at first, then he noticed me standing at the window, and he told me I could come in and stay with him also. We got to talk in that time, which was nice. His brother was about 2 years older than him, and he was really nice. He looked a lot like Gavin, actually, so he was a cutie. His hair wasn't nearly as ginger as Gavin's though. No tattoos that I noticed, either. He was more quiet, laid back and sort of shy and reserved than Gavin, too.
When I came back into the room with him, his eyes were red and puffy, so that made me sad and teary as soon as I walked in.
Of course, I went in and went straight to Gavin's bed and told him I was there again, and gave him a kiss and a hand squeeze.
Soon, his family got there, and Oliver stayed in there while I gave them all space. I didn't really meet them until a while later. Their top priority of course, was to see Gavin. They'd been waiting long enough.
Soon though, his mum came out to the hall where I was sitting by the wall resting my head on Nate's shoulder, and she sat with us and we all talked. She was happy to meet me and asked me lots of questions. She talked with Nate, who she knew very well, obviously. We told her the entire story...except we left the sex out. All of it. I didn't know if she even knew anything about Gavin's prior story of how he met me and rescued me, but...we just left it all out. He could tell her later, if he wanted.
Plus, it'd be embarrassing to me in the first place.
There were more tears as we told the story, and she hugged Nate a lot when it was done, and cried and thanked him for trying to take a bullet for her son, and thanked him for possibly saving his life anyway, by knocking him an inch or so to the side, so it missed his heart.
It was a good talk.
But I just wanted to be in there with Gavin. Oliver and his dad were in there meanwhile.
Then his mum went in and the dad came out. He said he'd get the story from his wife, so we didn't have to tell it all over again for the 30th time. But we did get to talk a while and get to know each other. They both are so nice. And Oliver too. I was jealous, I'll admit. Not that my mum isn't nice...it's just that Gavin grew up with such a great family...it must have been a great time being a kid for him and his brother. The way he always talked about his family to me, and the way he'd talk to them on the phone, I knew they were all very close, even if they were far away and didn't talk every single week.
I waited sooo impatiently for his family to disappear around the corner down the hall, then I practically BURST back into Gavin's room. I didn't want him to be alone for a second, and it had already been several minutes. I felt horribly guilty for it.
Nate told me he was going to get us some food and he'd be back soon.
I liked when Nate would leave for food. It gave me alone time with Gavin, and I could talk even more privately and open to Gavin, in hopes that he could hear me.
This time was no exception.
I told Gavin about meeting his family and how wonderful they all are, and how lucky he is.
I told him that was the first time I'd been out of his room, and it was driving me crazy not to be by his side, breathing the same air as him.
Speaking of air, he'd been breathing on his own for the past day. So that was a GREAT sign, the doctors said. His lung was healing wonderfully, and now it was strong enough to support him.
I was so happy when there was one less big noisy machine and less wires around him. It was a giant step in the right direction. Let alone the fact that his body was functioning properly on its own.
It was sooo tense when the doctors took the machine off of him, though. I mean, if it didn't work, they'd just hook it back up, but still....it was nerve wracking as fuck!
When I heard him breathe all by himself from across the room where Nate and I stood hugging in nervousness and anxiety, (they let us stay for it, cause we're well behaved.) I bent over in tears, holding myself up by my hands on my knees, trying to cry really quietly so they wouldn't kick us out.
After that, I didn't want anyone to leave his side for a second, in case he forgot to breathe or something!
But now, that he didn't have stuff in his mouth and all, his lips looked irresistable. A little chapped, but Nate had bought some chapstick at my request, and we'd been putting it on him for the past day. I bent over him, trying to lean as best as I could without moving his body any, so as not to disturb his bullet wound.
I touched his nose with mine, and gave him a kiss right on the lips.
Then I got an idea......
I pressed my lips to his, and I left them there. I kept my lips on his and hardly moved at all, for as long as I could hold myself in that uncomfortable position over him, with nowhere to really lean.
I didn't care that my arm muscles and stomach muscles were burning. I had to do this.
He had loved it that first time we did it. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before. Me either, obviously. But for him...with so much experience already, for it to be so different and crazy feeling, it really MUST have been something special.
So I did that now. Hoping the feeling in my lips would get to him. Hoping he'd feel it. Hoping maybe the prolonged contact would somehow transfer my love through our lips and he'd feel it.
I didn't want him to wake up earlier than his body needed to, though. It would wake up when it was ready. I just wanted him to feel my love if he possibly could. REALLY know that I was here with him.
As I leaned there, lips against his, I started to feel....good. I started to feel like Gavin was awake and pressing his lips against mine too. Even though he wasn't. It felt good to just do that again with him. I felt our love again, just a little bit.
After a few minutes of that, I noticed the heart monitor started beeping faster. It hadn't done that in all the time I'd been in here. It made me extremely excited. Could he feel this? Was his heart rate rising because of me? Because this position was such a powerful feeling for him?
Soon, a doctor came in sort of hurriedly, and found me there, lip to lip with Gavin. It was....awkward, so I acted like I was just finishing up a kiss, and turned to see what he wanted.
"Did he wake up at all? Move? Anything?" he asked me, concerned.
"No. Not at all", I answered.
"Ok. His heart rate elevated, which can mean that someone's waking up...aware of their surroundings...but maybe it was just from you kissing him. He probably felt it. That happens. Just go easy on him. He'll wake up when he's ready", he said as he checked Gavin's charts and checked Gavin over a little bit.
"Alright. I was just.....we have this thing we do, and we leave our lips together for a while without moving, and he always liked that, so I tried it. I'm sorry....I didn't mean to...." he stopped me from talking. "No, that's fine. If there's something he liked, by all means...try it. It all lets him know you're here, and that he's loved. Helps his entire body feel better, and gives more will to heal. There's so much more to it than just medicine and doctors, after all. You're fine. Just be careful to watch his wound area."
"Yes. I've been. I stay away from his entire body except his hand and face", I laughed a little, awkwardly.
"Right then....carry on" he said with a slight smile and he walked out of the room.
Whew. I thought I'd done something horrible. If I did anything to put him in worse condition, I'd.....I don't even know what I'd do.
I talked to him again, close up to his face while stroking his cheeks and neck.
"Gavin, I put my lips against yours for a long time, because you always loved that. I loved it too Gavin. I felt....us, and it felt wonderful. I love you so much. If you can hear me, keep holding on, ok? Keep healing. And keep working on coming back to me. Take as long as you need to, though. I'm not in any hurry. I'll stay here and wait for you forever. I promise. I cross my heart."
Nate came back a few seconds later with food, and we shared the only chair in the room as usual, using Gavin's rolling bedside table as our table, and we ate. He sat like a pretzel in the chair, and I sat on his lap. There was no other place to eat, unless we put our tray on Gavin's bed by his legs. And I just didn't feel right about that. I didn't want to feel like he was a "table".
I told Nate about what happened when he was gone.
He seemed really excited. "Wow, really? I guess that would be quite an experience...having your lips pressed against his for a long time. I remember him mentioning something about that months ago. He said it was crazy fucking feelings that he'd never felt before."
"That's what he told me. So I had to try it now. I mean, I thought of touching his....junk, just to see if he'd respond at all, but I figured I'd keep it clean and try his lips instead", I laughed. Nate looked surprised at me, and started to laugh too.
I was so happy Nate was here with me through all of this. Sometimes I'd get a feeling, like a chill, but not...like a sudden warm feeling, that radiated through my body from my face on down to my toes, when I'd realize what a great friend Nate was. When I'd realize how glad I was that he was here.
"I'm so glad you're here, Nate. I just want you to know that. Sometimes I get an overwhelming feeling of....I don't know what it is. Love. Appreciation. Happiness....something good, I know that.....when I think of you being here for Gavin, and for me", I said, feeling awkward, but also needing to let Nate know that his actions aren't going unnoticed.
He stopped chewing and looked at me a few seconds. He smiled a small, humble type of smile, and looked down toward his stomach with shyness. "Thank you Gwen. That really means a lot. It really does."
He laughed, then looked up at Gavin. "Did you hear that mate? Keep on sleepin' over there, Gav! My plan to win over your lady is working!" then he laughed more.
I hit him in the chest and laughed and shook my head and called him an asshole.
Then we got back to eating, a few leftover laughs coming out for the next few minutes.
After we ate, we were both tired and bored, so we curled up and drifted off into a good, long nap.
I was happy to have someone to hold. And I was happy to have someone to hold me. I just wished it was Gavin, but Nate was just as good at it, honestly....it just didn't have the same feeling....the same...something extra. WAY extra.
We just needed each other right now. Even through the laughs and the calm times, we were both hurting inside, horribly, waiting for any good signs that Gavin would be alright.
The doctors said we were pretty much out of the woods now, and he was doing great and all...but they just didn't know when he'd wake up. And what he'd be like when he woke up. He'd needed blood transfusions, because he'd lost so much blood that night. And he was just plain....weak. They did tests on his brain every day. Looking for responses to stimulus that I didn't even know what they were looking for, but they said he was passing them all perfectly, so....mentally he'd most likely be fine.
NATE'S POV:
Curling up with Gwen every night, and during naps in the day, were my favorite times. I admit it.
I hate to admit it, but yes....I admit it.
And the guilt I deal with because of that, is immense.
But I'm not doing anything wrong, or taking advantage in any way.
I simply can't help but enjoy the time I get to have with Gwen. The intimacy I never imagined I'd have with her. When Gavin woke up, I was going to go through withdrawl from Gwen, I knew that. It was going to hurt like hell. I remembered what her lips felt like against mine. I remembered what her body felt like underneath mine. I remembered how she felt as she quivered against me, unexpectedly.
Yes, there would be big time with drawl when I couldn't be close to her like this anymore.
But Gavin being awake would drown out all of that. Because that's what I wanted most of all.
I just.....enjoyed taking over for him in the mean time.
I enjoyed it too much. Every time I hugged her or held her while we slept...I had to make my movements so much less than they wanted to be. I had to hold her less tightly than I wanted. I had to turn my head away from her face when she got too close to resist for much longer. I had to refrain from pulling her against me when the nerves all up and down my body came alive because she was laying on me.
And that's where the guilt came in to play.
I'm not gonna lie, either. Yes, I had imagined what could possibly be in the future, if he died.
And I'm not a shitty friend for imagining that. I'm not.
Because I would give my life for him, even if Gwen loved me instead of him. If she'd suddenly loved me instead of him, I'd still jump in front of a bullet...well, try, anyway. Heh.
So I know I'm not a shitty friend.
I just....liked to imagine that Gwen could possibly love me if things were different.
I didn't WANT things to be different, though, is my point.
I want Gavin to wake up. NOW. YESTERDAY, even.
But I am only human. I am still just a boy. Who loves a girl....
I woke up for no reason in the middle of the night that night. Gwen was peacefully asleep on my chest in our small reclining chair. We had blankets now, and I had a pillow, the nurses had given us, so that was nice. I stared at Gwen. Her eyes darting all around underneath her lids. I wondered what she was dreaming about as I watched their jerky movements.
I pulled my arm up out of the blanket and pulled some of her hair off of her face, and I just laid there looking at this beautiful woman sleeping on top of me.
I let out a sigh, and closed my eyes for a few seconds, then looked at the ceiling to clear my head.
When I looked back down, I glanced over at Gavin, just a foot or two away from us.
My eyes continued down past him to settle back on Gwen before I'd try to drift off to sleep again, but something made me do a double take, and look back up at him.
Gavin was looking at me.
My whole body jerked, including my voice. "Gah!" I blurted out, causing Gwen to stir on my chest.
"Gav?" I squinted my eyes and blinked a few times to make sure I was seeing right. It was dark, and there was just a slight light shining on him from the machines, but the light from the nurse's station was also shining on him, so all together, I could see his face.
It must have been the reflection of light on the wetness of his eyeballs that attracted my attention at first.
Gavin's head moved, in sort of a nod. "Nate mate", he scratched out the words, barely audible and really slow and weakly.
Holy SHIT!
Gavin was AWAKE!??????????????
I looked down at Gwen....I wanted to wake her, but...she was just sleeping so nicely....I wasn't sure how long Gavin would be awake..........
"Don't", he forced out the word.
I looked back up to him. "Why not? She'll be so ha...."
"Tired. I'm....tired. I wont....want.... to sleep if I see.....her", he struggled to say, mostly ending up in a whisper.
"Oh, ok...I get it", I whispered now.
"Beside.....s........you are enjoying.....her......so.....live it up mate......before I ki......kick...your arse...." he said, and he coughed a little bit and squinted in pain, probably from a laugh shaking his chest.
A huge smile came across my face. That's my mate right there. Just woke up and joking already!
"I will, mate. I am. And just try it, buddy!" I joked back to him.
He slowly turned his head and stared at the ceiling. "Thank you Nate", he said so quietly, and then closed his eyes.
I smiled more, but then I was worried when he closed his eyes. Was he still alright? Was just just tired and going back to sleep? I watched his machines for any change in beeps or numbers, for a long long while. I watched them until I couldn't keep my eyes opened any longer. The last thing I saw was his heart monitor, beeping peacefully, consistently. He was fine.
I'd talk to him tomorrow.
I was so fucking excited! I felt horrible not telling Gwen, but he's right....she'd freak out, and they'd reunite, and he'd never be able to resist that, and he was just too damn tired. It was for the best right now. I felt honored that I'd been the one to talk to him. I felt privileged to know something no one else did.
I thought I'd heard someone rush into the room as my eyes closed, but I was too tired also, and I didn't want to tell them he'd woken up, or Gwen would wake up, and the doctors would come in and he'd never get to rest like he'd wanted and needed. So I just let myself drift off, knowing they were checking him, wondering why his monitors changed from him being conscious, but yet, he was asleep.
Gavi's waking up!! Ahhh. I feel so much better.
If you feel better, then why don'tcha vote about it!?
Haha. See what I did there?