Epilogue
I rummaged through my stuff looking for the necklace I was planning to wear. I knew it was somewhere here, I probably should have looked for it earlier. After looking through what seemed like the fifthieth drawer, I had finally found it. I was all set now and ready to go, I looked at myself in the mirror and gave myself a pat on the back. You did it, somehow.
I went down the stairs to find my Dad charging the camera and getting everything ready. I rolled my eyes but was amused at his excited behavior. He couldn't wait to see me walk across that stage. For a second, I thought I wasn't even going to. I thought that I would jus give up with my academics after the accident, but I had support from the people I needed it most from and it helped me get through a lot. There were times when I just wanted to give up on everything, and then either my Dad, Cas, Brax, and especially Caden were there to tell me to keep going.
It was refreshing, but frustrating at the same time. Especially during the physical therapy. Caden decided he would go with me, and he would not let me stop. Sure he understood when my body really couldn't take it anymore but he also knew when it was just me giving up internally but I was still capable physically. He gave me a bit of tough love, and I pushed through the drills with the thought of inflicting pain on Caden afterword. I would feel bad after the therapy when I thought about hurting him, but he understood that when I lashed out, it wasn't necessarily meant for him even though it was directed at him.
When it came to school, he wouldn't let me be lazy about that either. I was just going to take a break and see if I could take all the needed classes over the summer and complete the missing work then, but Caden was sure that I could get back on track with three months, and graduate with the rest of my class. I remember all of the nights where I felt like throwing my textbooks at his face.
"Caden, I don't want to do anymore." I said already tired from the thousandth question we finished.
"Do one more and then we'll watch a movie or something." He said but I had no gas left in me so I stubbornly put my pencil down and then went to the living room and sat down on his couch. I grabbed the remote that was on the table and flicked through the channels until I found something I wanted to watch."
"How about we just skip right to the movie?" I asked looking over to his disappointed face at the kitchen table. He was trying to make me feel bad and go back to the work. That face had worked so well on me during all of the other times, and I would always find myself going back to the table and finishing what he asked me to.
Now looking back at it I was glad that he had pushed me as much as he had. Without him, without everyone that was there for me, I wouldn't be graduating today with the rest of my senior class. I was a bit nervous to graduate. Sure I was already eighteen and all, a "young adult" as many would put it, but graduating high school made it so much more real. I wasn't going to be depending on my father or anyone anymore, I was going to have to take care of myself, find a job, continue with school, and pay my own bills. What if I became a complete failure in life? What if everything that I worked for during the years of my adolescence were a complete waste. I didn't want to screw up and I didn't want to disappoint anyone.
There was a knock at the door bringing me from my thoughts and I went to go answer it. There stood Cassie and Braxton with big "we're finally done with high school" grins plastered on their faces. I rolled my eyes and let them inside. Clearly they weren't worried about the years after this as much as I was. I could tell both of them were going to be successful though.
"Hey Dee" Cas said pulling me into a bone crushing hug.
"Can't. Breathe. At. All." I said trying to take deep breaths and Braxton finally helped me out by prying Cassie away from me. It was like she hadn't seen me in months when literally we saw each other only a few days ago. I think she was just a tad bit excited thinking about graduating today. We walked into my kitchen where my dad was eating a sandwich with his tie swung over his shoulder so he wouldn't risk ruining it.
"Hey Cassie, Braxton" my dad said nodding at both of them. "Is your mom going to the ceremony?" My dad asked and then took another bite of his sandwich that looked a bit tempting right now. I had already ate though and I didn't want to make anything else and risk getting dirty.
"Yeah." Cassie sitting down on one of the stools next to Braxton. My dad nodded and returned his focus back to his sandwich. "Why?" Cassie asked and I wanted to know as well considering it was a bit random to ask.
"Oh no reason" He said. "I didn't want to sit alone at the ceremony." He said reasonably. I felt a pang of guilt, I don't know why, but I did. He shouldn't have to worry about sitting alone, his wife should have been here with him. It took me a while to finally understand that all relationships wouldn't end up like that, my father was just unlucky. He deserved better than my mother, somebody who actually would appreciate him and his work, and understand that everything he does is for the people he loves.
It was time to go to the ceremony so we all drove together, Cassie's and Braxton's family would meet us there. Once we reached up to the school, I became more nervous. My palms had became so sweaty that it was gross, but thankfully they were the only thing that was sweating. I looked at the school and thought to myself how this will be the last time I ever have to walk these halls, speak to these teachers, deal with a bunch of people I couldn't stand.
When we reached the rest of my senior class, my dad went into crowds of parents and found Cassie's mother. They sat together at the chairs set up for the bystanders and began talking, laughing. I started complaining to Brax and Cas again about how scared I was. "What if I fall. Oh my god what if I trip on stage in front of everybody." I said covering my eyes with my hand and imagined the whole scene. I pictured myself with a huge grin plastered on my face, as I smugly walked the stage and recieved my diploma, silently laughing at anyone who doubted me and then BAM! Face plant. Now I really didn't want to get on that stage what so ever.
"Oh relax," Braxton. "You will be fine, and even if you do trip, it's not like you have to see any of their faces after today." He said and I nodded gaining my confidence again. Yeah, so what if I fall! I wish one of them would laugh, see how quickly I'd get up and beat the shit out of them. And then on the brightside, I wouldn't get suspended for it.
I looked over to where the teachers were standing, my eyes met Caden's and he smiled at me, causing me to immediately smile back. The relationship we had with each other was amazing, sure there were times when we wanted to kill each other, but that's just us, it wouldn't be normal for us if we weren't annoyed with each other ever. I was just glad we no longer had to hide our relationship after today. Thank god that nothing tragic happened like us getting caught all of the countless times we got carried away in his classroom. We were a bit careless sometimes, and now looking back that was completely stupid of us. We could have risked everything with only three months of school left, but thankfully we didn't.
I caught Faith eyeing Caden as well. My eyes left his to zero in on her. She looked pretty I wasn't going to lie and say she looked like some kind of creature that crawled up from the dead because she didn't. She was probably going to try her luck with Caden after the ceremony, not knowing that he was already mine. That I was the one that got to feel his soft lips against mine, or his strong arms wrapped around my waste when I fell asleep at his apartment. I already lost him once, and now that I had him, I wasn't stupid enough to let him go so carelessly again.
After a few more agonizing minutes, it was finally time. I watched as all of the students went across the stage, shaking hands with everyone, and then walking off with a little fist pump. As it went throught the people with the last names beginning with p, I began worrying again. I got a reassuring smile from my father and smiled back. I wasn't going to fall, I was going to own this stage, for one last time.
"Diem Reynolds" I walked up the stage, hearing the cheers, I could hear Braxton's howling and Cassie's high pitched cheer, and my dad's loud clapping. As I shook hands with the teachers, my hand wanted to stay in contact with Caden's but I had to pull away and shake the next person's. I was almost tempted to kiss him right there, but i knew it wasn't appropriate, that's something Faith would do, not me. We listened to the speeches given, and at the end through our caps in the air. Braxton hugged both Cassie and I and I laughed. Next came my dad and Cassie's mom.
We all went away from the crowd into one corner. There was talking, laughter, shouting all around us, but I was in cloud nine right now. I couldn't believe that I had actually done it, completed another stage in my life and was getting ready to start the next. My dad looked a bit nervous for a second before he spoke, "There is actually something I wanted to tell you." He said and I nodded. "I don't know how you'll react to it, hopefully good."
"Dad just tell me." I demanded with a laugh in my voice. I doubt that anything he said could ruin the mood I was in right now.
"Okay," he said looking at me and then over at Cassie. "I'm seeing someone," he said.
"Like a doctor or something? Are you okay?" I asked.
"No Diem, seeing someone, like I'm in a relationship." I looked at him like he had three heads attached to his body. He was dating again? How did I not notice! I am such a terrible daughter. I suddenly became excited that my dad had found someone but also cautious because I didn't want him to open himself up to the possibility of more hurt in his life.
"I think that's great, when can I meet her?" I asked.
"Actually, you already have."
"What?"
"Claire," he said taking Cassie's mom's hand and then looked back at us, "and I are dating." He said and my mouth fell open, what the hell! I looked over at Cassie and she had the same expression on her face. I thought that maybe I had misheard something but seeing them holding hands only proved to me that my hearing was intact and that I really had just heard my father saying he was in a relationship with my best friend's mom. Cassie looked at me once, and then back at them, returning her gaze back to me.
"We are going to be sisters!" She said excitedly and I laughed when she attacked me with a hug. "I mean we practically are already, but now it will be official, if they get married." She added and we both turned our gaze to the duo with a look that pretty much told them that they better get married. We then began to plan out how their wedding was going to be like, and who was going to move in to who's house. I said we could share a room if we wanted, and that this was going to be awesome.
After torturing the newly couple some more, my eyes finally drifted off to Faith doing exactly what I thought she would do, try her luck with my boyfriend. Her hand was on Caden's forearm and she was laughing with that high pitch tone of hers. Caden looked uncomfortable as he tried creating as much space between them as he could without being rude but she continued stepping forward, oblivious to the fact that he wanted her nowhere near him!
Screw being appropriate, I thought to myself as I marched over them. She looked over at me shocked, but I didn't waste anytime as I created more space between the two by pulling Caden towards me and crashed my lips against his. He looked taken back at first, and a bit hesitant, but found himself kissing me back. I heard Faith gasp in shock and then heard heels walking away. I knew that eye's would be on us so I didn't want to give anyone a public show so I pulled away. People were looking at us in shock, but I didn't care, there was nothing they could do to us now.
"Hi to you too." He said smiling at me and I laughed and wrapped my arms around him tightly before pulling back but the smile was permenantly engraved on my face. I feared that my face would get stuck like this, but there was nothing I could do that would erase the expression on my face.
For some reason, my mind drifted off to my mother and sure enough the smile disappeared. I wondered where she was right now, if she was even in the same continent as me. I wondered if she was happy with her life right now and the fact that she missed so much in her child's life. I wondered if everything she did was worth it in the end.
My mother was clearly incapable of loving anybody else but herself. She pushed people away anyone who tried to love her, and take care of her. She pushed away anyone who she actually meant something to, and for a while, I had turned into her. I began pushing people away, and running away from anyone who tried to help me. I had almost turned it her, almost but turning into her would just be self destruction.
But I no longer ran, I had no reason to.
"You okay?" Caden asked bringing me out of my thoughts with his strong but gentle hold on my hand. "What are you thinking about?" He asked.
"Nothing, just about how happy I am," I said and he smiled, "with you." I added.
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