Sirens. That's all I heard, were sirens. I slept with them (pun very much intended) blaring, I just felt tired. Weak, and vulnerable. I felt like my whole world had collapsed. I can still hear the ringing in the ears, and I still have the blood stains on my clothes. I won't ever forget the way he held my hand as his eyes slowly closed, his face resting in peace and relief.
"Kellin Quinn?" I sprung up at the sound of his name, holding Vic's hand tighter if possible.
"That's us," The doctor nodded his head and we began a surprisingly short walk to a corner of the hall, where almost nobody was. I shifted uncomfortably where I stood, studying the doctor's expression. His eyes held sadness, I don't know if it's sincere but it doesn't mean good news.
"Well, I would say I have good news and bad news, but sadly there's no good news." What hope was left in me fell to the out of my stomach like a brick. "Kellin-" I gulped down any tears that would try to flow out. "I'm afraid to say he's passed away," my heart dropped down to where my hope sat down beneath me, and I felt my grip on Vic's hand loosen.
"This can't- n-no," I choked out, feeling a sob bubbling in my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut, latching onto Vic with my arms around his neck. Thankful for the support, I buried my face in his shoulder, letting the tears finally rush out. But they didn't, all that was there were almost fake tears. It's like I was in so much pain that tears couldn't show it.
I don't know what worse, crying and someone seeing the tears or feelings like your crying but no tears come out. It's the worst emotion to feel, so blank but in the inside your heart is turning cold, your stomach is churning and your hands are shaking with fear and shock. "Let's go home love," Vic said, continuing the gentle rub to my back.
By the time we were in the car, not a single tear had shed. It was the same feeling, just hurt and pain. I like dyed a hand to my forehead, letting it rest there as if it helped me see clearer. The situation was clear, but so blurry and jumbled and a complete mess. But of course, when things go amazing, something bad has to happen.
Once we got to our shared small apartment, (sorry for not saying before) and I had finally gotten inside, I finally felt a rush of tears and I couldn't do anything but fall to the floor and cry. "(F/n)!" Vic exclaimed, coming up to me and scooping me up in his arms, taking me to the couch. He didn't say a word after that, and I appreciate it.
Vic held me closely in his arms while I cried, the tears finally coming to a stop so that it was now just a silent whimper and sob. I lifted up my hand, running my thumb as gently as possible over Vic's cheek, where a tear had been slipping down. "It hurts," I muttered, burying closer to Vic as much as possible.
"I know it does love," he sniffed away his tears, giving me a sad smile. I knew he was trying to be strong for me, and I can tell. "It hurts a lot," he added, rubbing my upper arm and giving me a squeeze. For awhile it was silent, just the sniffles and silent crying left in the room. Vic was right when he said that. Because it doesn't just hurt, it hurts a lot. It's the feeling of loosing your best friend, knowing they're gone, and having to realize that I was the last one to see him, and to touch him, and to hear his voice.
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Andddd the end! Thanks for reading! It means a lot :)
Sike bitches here's some more
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"Are you ready?" I nodded my head to Vic, adjusting the sleeve on my black dress. Vic and I both wore all black, and I'm sure anyone can guess why. Today is kellin's funeral, otherwise known as a really crappy day. I smoothed out the bottom of my dress, giving Vic a small smile and grabbing his hand.
I nodded my head to Archie, Anthony, and Roy who sat in our living room, they too wearing all black. Archie came up to me, and I knew immediately I wanted to give him a hug. I hadn't seen him since we last recorded, just before Kellin passed. I reached up and gave him a hug. And a good hug, a hug everyone needed. And I did the same for Anthony and Roy, knowing they needed it too.
When we got there, the scene was depressing in the most non-depressing way. There were fliers placed everywhere, a video of his best moments playing, and the saddest music possible, clearly to set the mood. We all walked into the big room, looking around at all the different colors of flowers, some of us stifling giggles at some things Kellin said in the video.
It woke my heart to see him there, smiling, running around in his long sleeved shirt. Nobody thought anything of it, but I just wish someone would've. Or even me, but I suppose I'm just stupid. We took our seat, right in the front. After hearing some things from other people , it was my turn. "And now a few words from a close friend, (F/n) (L/n)." I gave Vic's hand a squeeze, standing up and making my way to the podium.
"Where do I start with him?" I sniffed a sob back, a small smile on my face. "Kellin was always so lively, happy, joyous and sweet. He found a way to make anybody laugh. I was mixed into his life's equation when I met him at warped tour, my first time going. Ever since then we really hit it off, and became good close friends. When I'd look at Kellin I saw life, and beauty, and courage in anything he does."
"No matter what it was, whether singing, or played my stupid games, or just having a conversation he showed these three things clearly. He was incredibly talented, and certainly not in a show off type of way. He was a great friend to all of us here, but I'd hate to say goodbye. I just don't simply think I should. Why say goodbye, when he's right here with us." I placed a hand in my hand to symbolize what I meant, and left to my seat.
No matter what, or where, or what I was doing, or listening to, I couldn't get him off of my mind. He was so vulnerable in that moment, and all he spoke about was seeing me and hearing me for the last time, and it kills me.
It really does.
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So many feeelssssss thanks for reading!! I love seeing your comments they make my day! <3