I started the car and called Sid. He answered on the second ring, "Stella?"
"Where's your hotel?"
"We aren't there right now, we're staying at the Marriott down the road from the arena, but we're at the club you took us to last season. Why?"
"I'll meet you there," I replied, ending the call.
I drove quickly, having little regard for the speed limit and made it to the club and record time. I stalked inside and paid my cover. I saw Geno through the crowd and made my way to him. "Where are you guys sitting?" I shouted over the noise. He pointed to the back room and led me trough the crowd. I followed on his heels and Geno lifted a curtain to the room where everyone else was. It was quieter back there and I relaxed some when I saw all of their familiar faces.
Robert stood and walked over to me, "Is everything okay?"
"Of course it's not okay, did you miss the whole incident?" Beau demanded of his roommate.
"Right, sorry. Stupid question," Robert hung his head and turned away. He sat back down and began playing on his phone.
"What happened after we left?" Sidney asked.
"I dropped him at home, grabbed some stuff and left," I shrugged.
"Wait, wait, wait. You left him?" Robert demanded.
"Not like left him, left him. Just for tonight, I think. I have to see him again tomorrow at work and I don't have anywhere else to go," I shrugged.
"So you came back to us?" Fleury asked.
"Yes."
"You do know that's just going to piss him off more," Sidney reasoned.
"I know, but he interrupted our night and I hardly get to see you guys anymore. He can calm down," I replied, crossing my arms.
"He's not going to," Kunitz said earnestly. I felt like they didn't want me there, which hurt, especially after my fight with Claude.
"Am I crashing guys' night?" I asked.
"No! No, of course not," they all answered immediately and I scanned their faces, looking for anything that said otherwise. Robert was absorbed in his phone and Geno was looking guiltily at the ceiling.
"I can come see you guys later, it's fine," I lied.
"No, you're already here, stay," Letang said.
"No, you guys need to bond and stuff before the game. I don't want to be a party crasher," I grabbed my purse and stood up to leave.
"Stella," Dupuis gave me an apologetic look.
"No, Pascal, it's fine. I'm fine," I exited the way Geno had showed me in and wove my way through the mass of bodies in the club.
I hopped in my SUV and sat there for a minute before buckling my seatbelt and preparing to drive. I needed to not think about anything until I got to a hotel so that I wasn't driving distractedly; that would be too much like my recurring dream. I turned on the car and my passenger door opened.
"I don't know who the fuck you are, but I recommend that you get out of my fucking c- Robert?" I blinked, surprised.
"Hey," he flashed a nervous, quick smile, "So I think I have the knowing you part covered, but I'll still get out if you want me to," he reached for the door handle and jerked his thumb at city out the window.
"No, it's fine, I thought someone was going to carjack me or something," I shook my head.
"You really thought you'd stop them with that little speech?" A full, deep laugh came from Robert's throat.
"Yes, actually," I snapped, "now do you need a ride or are you sitting in my car for no reason?"
"Yeah, I'd love a ride actually. And I think I know someone who needs a place to stay tonight so I was going to offer her the extra bed in my hotel room," he offered me a soft smile.
"You aren't sharing with Bennett?"
"Not this time. We have an odd number of guys so we rotate off having our own rooms," he explained.
"Okay. You're staying at the Marriott, right?" I switched gears and backed out of the parking spot.
"Yep," he popped the 'p' and I started driving. The ride was quiet; neither of us spoke and he didn't turn on the radio. Of all the guys on the team, Robert and I had been the most distant from each other. We obviously knew each other since we both worked in the lower part of Consol energy and he was often one of the people coming in to get patched up, but we weren't close. I knew him, and he knew me, but I had spent more time with guys like Letang, Bennett, Dupuis, Fleury, and Crosby. Even Geno, who was one of the quietest guys I'd met talked to me more than Robert had.
When we finally got to the hotel, I was seriously considering dropping Robert off and moving to a different hotel, but he got out and looked to me to follow. I grabbed my bag and he led me inside. "Why didn't the other guys come?"
"Well, like you figured out, it is guys' night. We had been planning on going out just us guys after dinner with you, and as you know, that got cut short, so we went to the club," Robert said.
"Why didn't Sidney tell me when I called?"
"He said you kinda just asked where we were, said you were coming, and hung up," Robert shrugged.
"Jesus, someone should have told me, I wouldn't have come," I smacked my forehead with my hand.
"Should've had a V8," Bortuzzo muttered.
I rolled my eyes, "So, why'd you come back?"
"You needed somewhere to stay," he shrugged as if it was no big deal and he opened the door to the room. "Mine is the one by the door, feel free to take the other one," he motioned to the bed that was neatly made and I nodded my thanks. I set my bag down on the foot of the bed and sat next to it. I realized that if I'd thought the car ride was weird, these next few hours would reach a level of awkwardness I was not familiar with.
I cleared my throat, "Uh, do you mind if I shower?"
Robert scratched the back of his neck and shook his head, a small smile on his face, "Be my guest."
"What?" I asked.
"Hmm?" He raised his eyebrows, the smile was gone, but there was amusement in his eyes.
"You were making a face at me," I stated.
"Stella, it's not like I own the place, you don't have to ask. And there's no need to be so nervous and on edge; I won't hurt you. Uh, I mean, well it's not like I would hurt you but that's not what I meant. We're friends-" he stuttered.
"Yeah... Thanks..." I said, grabbing my bag and heading into the bathroom. I shut and locked the door behind me and stood there, unmoving, until I heard Robert settle in and flip on the television. Then I undressed and hopped in the shower. I let the warm water run over me and release the tension of travel and my fight with Claude. Claude. I hoped he was okay. I loved Claude. He had been the first to befriend me when I came to the city despite where I'd come from and he made me feel wanted. When we kissed, I never wanted to stop and when we had sex, well, it was the best feeling in the world. He made me feel like I could do anything and I knew he'd be there by my side. It hurt when he had come in to the restaurant and started throwing insults in the guys' faces, especially since it had been outside of a game setting. He usually wasn't that bad; I didn't know what had gotten into him. In a few days, if we won that was, then we'd kiss and make up. Maybe even tomorrow if he had cooled down and wasn't too hungover. I smiled at the thought of him and turned to wash my hair.
In my hurry to leave home, I'd forgotten to pack most of my toiletries, so the only option I had was to use Robert's; I really hoped he wouldn't mind. The heat of the water made the soap smell stronger and I was surrounded by the scent of flannel and musk.
I turned off the water, wrapped myself in a mediocre hotel towel, and began getting dressed. I didn't care if my hair was wet, I'd just be sleeping on it anyways, it was not like I was going out. I put my dirty clothes in my bag and went back out into the room. Robert was on the phone and he flashed a smile at me. I smiled back and set my stuff down next to the bed.
"Thanks. Goodnight, Vero," Robert said, ending the call. Vero was Marc's wife, and it was odd that Robert was talking to her, but it wasn't my place to say anything, so I kept my mouth shut.
"Did you leave me any hot water?" Robert smirked.
"Maybe," I yawned.
He laughed, "Okay, thanks, I'll be right back."
I nodded and settled into the bed. I unlocked my phone and sent Claude a text, 'Goodnight, G. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I love you.' I turned over and closed my eyes, falling asleep enveloped by warm covers and musk.
I woke up to Robert shaking my shoulder, "Stella? Stella, are you okay?" He was leaning over me with concern in his eyes.
"I- I-" the image of the little girl flashed before my eyes again and I shuddered.
"You were screaming and I didn't know what was wrong," his concern changed to panic as I struggled to respond.
"I- I had a bad dream," I stuttered.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He sat down on the edge of my bed.
I looked at him for a minute as the images from the dream flashed behind my eyes before the words began tumbling out of my mouth, "It's the same dream almost every time." He nodded for me to go on. "I'm driving and I look in the rearview mirror at the little girl in the backseat... I think," I paused, trying to be coherent, "I think she's my daughter."
"Wait, you have a daughter?" Robert asked, surprised. "Did you adopt or something?"
"No, I don't have a daughter, you know that, Robert," I replied sharply.
"Right, uh, sorry," he scratched the back of his neck.
"Sorry, I'm sorry, I just- I'm stressed. This dream won't leave me alone."
"So, there's a little girl in the backseat. What happens then?" Robert prodded gently.
"I'm looking at her in the rearview mirror and then we get hit by a semi truck," I closed my eyes to block the image, but it becomes more vivid and tears slide from the corners of my eyes.
Robert wrapped his arms around me and I held on to him for dear life, my tears soaking through his shirt in seconds. "She died; I didn't," I sobbed.
Robert made soothing noises and stroked my hair, "I'm sorry, Stella."
"It's not- your fault-" I hiccuped; I was a blubbering, snotty mess, but Robert didn't seem to care.
He held me close. "Don't worry, Stella. It was just a dream, don't worry," Robert whispered over and over; he scooted farther onto the bed and pulled me down next to him. Robert kept his arms wrapped around me and continued trying to soothe me.
"She's dead," I whispered.
"No, she isn't," Robert replied at an equal volume.
"I never gave her a chance," I continued as though he hadn't interrupted.
"You made the best decision for you, Stella," Robert said.
"But I don't know if it was the right decision."
"You were scared, I understand. It will be okay, Stell. It will all be okay; it was just a dream," Robert murmured into my hair.
My eyelids fluttered closed and a few more tears slipped from their corners. "I didn't want that to happen," I said.
"I know, and it won't."
I only nodded and breathed in Robert's scent, calming down as I did so. He wrapped his arms tightly around me. "Sleep, Stell. It will all be okay in the morning."
"Don't leave me," I whispered.
"I won't," he breathed.
In the morning I was warm and content with the November sunlight shining on my face. I blinked awake and saw a navy blue, long sleeved shirt in front of me. Claude didn't wear blue very often, and he certainly didn't wear shirts to bed. I tipped my head up, wondering what the hell I had done and I saw the relaxed face of Robert Bortuzzo; his mouth was hanging open and he was snoring slightly a few inches above my head. Then it all came back. The flight in, Sidney's early phone call, the shrimp scampi, meeting the boys, Claude's interruption, our fight, my visit to the club, going to the hotel with Robert, and the nightmare.
As I looked at Robert, I wanted to feel horribly guilty, but I couldn't. Nothing had happened between us; he was just being nice, and he actually knew everything behind the dreams and my fears. The whole Pittsburgh team knew, because they had been my counsel in my time of need. I was young and foolish so I turned to a group of guys who were equally young and foolish and somehow, we had made a decision I hadn't come to regret... Yet.
I tried to slip out of Robert's arms so that I could get ready to go to work and maybe catch Claude on the way home, but unfortunately, Robert woke up. "Hey," he said, his voice scratchy from sleep.
"Hi," I replied, feeling awkward. Robert lifted his arms from around me and rolled over to stretch. I immediately felt cold in his absence.
"Are you feeling better?" He asked with a yawn.
"Yes. I always feel better during the day. But Claude... Claude doesn't understand," I said.
"You didn't tell him, did you?"
I looked away, ashamed, "No."
"You really should tell him, Stella; he deserves to know. It has been, what? Three years?"
"Five," I replied.
"Stella," Robert said sternly.
"I know, I know, I should tell him," I sighed, climbing out of the bed and grabbing my bag so I could go change.
"Then what's stopping you?" Robert sat up; there was something in his eyes, but I couldn't quite tell what it was
"I'm still afraid," I whispered before hurrying into the bathroom and shutting the door. I heard him sigh from the other side of the door, probably frustrated with my stubbornness. At least he knew and understood my problem, even though he had been against the solution when we came up with up. I didn't think Claude would be so understanding; he was just as stubborn as I was, and I was afraid that he would leave me if he ever found out, which was why I hadn't told him.
I came out dressed for work in semi-dressy pants and an orange Flyers polo. Robert rolled his eyes at the shirt, "You look better in Pittsburgh black and gold."
"Well, I can't exactly wear those colors anymore now, can I?" I retorted.
"Whoa, hey, sorry, Stell. It was just a joke," Robert smiled to prove it.
"I'm sorry. Thank you for everything and if I don't see any of you before the game, good luck," I walked towards the door.
"What, no hug?"
I froze, debating turning back and leaving. Screw it, I'd already spent most of the night in his arms, a hug wasn't going to kill me. I turned around to see Robert holding his arms open for me. His face brightened when he saw me turn and I walked into his open arms. "Thank you, for everything."
"Of course, Stella. What are friends for?" He laughed, and it vibrated my head which was resting on his chest.
"Please don't get injured," I said.
He laughed some more, "I'll try not to."
"Good," I pulled away first and Robert let me go, his smile not as big as it had been moments before.
"I'll see you later, Stella," he said.
"Bye, Robert," I left the room and made my way down to my car, hoping I would be ready to face Claude and the team.
Author's Note
I'm sorry it's late! Please vote and comment to let me know what y'all thought! Thank you so much for your support :)