I wait throughout the entire night for Penguin to show up. Of course he doesn't. Why would he? I was the one that left. He has more going for him now than ever, even without me. He has less leverage, an up-and-coming doctor, a loyal lackey. What would he need of me?
Am I to assume our relationship is over? I want him to fight for me. I want him to understand me. Before I settle in, I remember my letter from Falcone. I dig for the note beneath a large pile of papers on the table. It reads:
Dear Sera,
I apologize for having to meet you in such a way. With the circumstances, I'm afraid I had no other choice. Your relationship with Oswald has put my safety and yours at stake. I don't know if he turned you against me, or if you even care for this old man. When I put you two together on that first night, I must admit I didn't know things would escalate in this way. It was not my intention, but as our lives continued, I found my hopes rising that you two would end up together.
I want to give you and your brother my sincerest condolences. It's not very often that children lose their parents so young. You have known a loss unlike most others, and for that I am deeply sorry. This city rarely leaves anyone unscathed.
Your father was a good man and your mother was the kindest woman I'd ever met. Even after your father's death, she called me once a month to make sure I was still around. I cannot thank you enough for allowing me into your life, Sera Gordon. It has truly been a blessing on my life.
You love more passionately than anyone I've known. You have compassion for the broken and dirty people of the world. That is a rare, beautiful gift. I can only believe that Penguin sees that in you as well. I understand that your brother's praise is not far behind yours, but this letter is to you.
You have my number. Please call me if you ever need anything.
Sincerely,
Carmine Falcone
Tears stain my cheeks when I finish. This letter is a physical reminder of who I really am. This is who I am without Penguin or Jim's influence. I might not have my hands, but I am still worth everything I was prior to the accident. I will figure out where I belong, again.
When dawn rises over the jagged horizon, I give up my emotion. If Oswald wants to fix this, he will know where to find me. If not, then I will learn how to move on.
My dreams consist of the same nightmares I've had for almost three months. I relive the torture. I relive the abuse. Then I wake in a cold sweat and scars.
"Sera? Sera!"
I gasp, realizing the voice isn't from my dreams. I answer the door in a groggy haze.
First I register the flowers, then the suit, and lastly his face.
"Can I help you?" I must look horrible.
He doesn't bother with formalities. "I came here to apologize. It's funny I— I had this long speech prepared, but I won't say any of that. I'm just going to say that I'm sorry for hurting you."
I'm tempted to shut the door. Look at him! He's pitiful. He's controlling, manipulative, and homicidal on top of it all.
I let him in. "You almost killed my brother. He's all I have left."
"I know. I should've— I should've at least let you know ahead of time. Jim doesn't let me get off with a free pass, so I'm not planning on extending the same hand to him. I'm sorry for the position that puts you in." He sets the bouquet on my table. "I'm sorry. I won't allow things to go that way ever again."
I cave, leaning into is gentle touch. "I forgive you."
His eyes close in overwhelming relief. "I've never cared about anyone as much as I care about you, Sera Gordon."
"Not even your mother?"
He hesitates when he answers. "Not even her."
I kiss him in a moment of sheer relief. He's fought for me, just as I wanted and now he's won me back. A fire ignites in my chest. His arms snake around my waist and we reunite.
An hour later, my phone buzzes from my jeans draped across the loveseat.
"Hello?"
"Penguin?" I can hear my brother's horrified voice. "Where's Sera?"
"She's right here."
"Hey, Jim. What's happening?"
"Are you okay? I'm on my way home right now. Please tell me Barbara isn't there."
"On your way?" This time I'm the mortified one. Oswald and I both jump out of our positions and throw on our clothes. "What's going on?"
"Turn on the TV!"
I clamber for the remote as soon as I'm dressed.
"That's right, Gotham!" Valerie Vale appears on the screen. "What you're seeing is live. Who exactly are these Maniax!? What are they planning to do? Stay tuned to find out."
Seven men lay splattered in the middle of Gotham's busiest street. The letters on their chests spell out Maniax! This must be in the result of the Arkham Asylum breakouts not too long ago.
Jim's going to have to do major overtime this week.
Oswald wraps his bony hands around my stomach. "Oh, my."
My brother runs through the door. "So you've seen." Then he briefly pauses to slap Oswald's hands. "Get your hands off my sister."
He slips them into his pockets. "It seems like you're going to have your hands full, detective, now that the commissioner has resigned."
The comment is another knife in my back. Why wouldn't Jim think to ask me for the favor? Wouldn't Oswald be more inclined to oblige if I was batting his eyelashes at him?
I take in a deep breath. It's over and done. There's nothing I can do about what happened.
Jim shoots him a sideways glare.
"Anyways, we must be off. We have work to do." Oswald wraps his arms around me to escort me out.
My brother grabs onto his shoulder, yanking him from my side.
"You're going to protect her."
"Of course, old friend. She is my highest priority."
"I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. You will have your best men with her at all times. She will not get any more injured in your care than she already has. If I see a single scratch on her head, I will find you. I will—"
"—break every bone in my body? So I would presume." He shrugs off Jim's grip. "I would give my life for your sister. Good day, Jim."
"I'm actually quite behind on my work," I say once arriving at the mansion. "I must finish setting up the other warehouses today."
"Butch and Azariah will accompany you. I don't have tabs on your shadow." He adjusts the edges of his suit. "I trust you can take care of it."
I mock salute him. "Yes, sir."
As my lackeys approach, Oswald has that expression I always see from him. It's as if there's one last thing he wants to say, but for some reason, he keeps it to himself.
"Sera?" Butch pulls me out of it.
"Right. We'll see you later."
"So I take it that you two worked it out?" He asks in the car.
"We did." I put the phone to my ear. "We're good again. Hello, Loren. Can you meet me at the last warehouse in fifteen?"
"You got it, boss."
"The media is going nuts over this Maniax! thing. This is the opposite of what Gotham needs."
"It's just a fad. Once my brother gets it under control, Gotham will be back in the regular routine."
Loren meets us at the warehouse. She's already started the process by the time I get in. We pause after three hours of taking inventory, restocking, and training to take a break.
"So is this what you do?"
"No. I have to train the medical staff, order supplies, keep track of numbers for board meetings—"
"Do you get to actually do your job, though? I know you're usually caught up with the boss and all."
Butch and I exchange an awkward glance.
"I'm kind of out of commission right now," I say while motioning to my arms. "Why do you ask?"
She avoids my eyes. "I mean, everyone knows you and him are a thing. They do, don't they? Am I supposed to bring it up?"
"I certainly don't mind. Can't say the same for him, but I don't mind talking about it. I think we're serious enough."
Butch chimes in. "He did announce you as the queen of Gotham, so he's definitely not hiding it."
"Plus it's hard to hide when you're making oogly eyes at each other all the time."
I roll my eyes, feeling my heart just a little lighter.
"I guess it's good for you, though. No one would dare to ever attack you. I can't imagine what he'd do if you were taken, or something."
I shutter at remembering what happened when we ran into Eustace, more for myself than for his actions. "Last time which wasn't that long ago, Penguin slit his throat."
"What happened?" Loren asks. "Was it your arms?"
And just like that, my heart sinks all over. Butch tries to cover up for me.
"A lot happened. There was a war and—"
"I can tell her," I say. "Oswald started a gang war to overthrow the leading families. In doing so, he involved everyone in Gotham. I was working for Falcone at the time. Maroni responded to the war by blowing up the warehouse where I was."
"Oh my god!"
"There's more. I was the only doctor Falcone had at the time. When Maroni found out, he kidnapped me and tortured me. He— he ruined my hands." As soon as I say it, I regret it. I can't count the number of times I've woken up screaming for my ruined life.
Maybe I should've talked to someone before now.
Gilzean rests a hand on my shoulder. "It's okay, now. It's over."
I don't need his comfort; I don't need anyone's comfort. It's far too late for that.
By the time we leave, Gotham's criminal underworld has twelve safe houses that are stocked with black market doctors and nurses. When we get back to the mansion, I teach Loren how to make schedules around everyone's day job.
"I think I like this better than my real life."
Real life. It makes me chuckle. What life would I have outside of these huge halls?
"Do you want the position?"
She laughs, assuming that I'm being sassy. "No thanks. I'm very grateful for what you do."
"I'm serious. I told Penguin that once he had the throne, I didn't want to be in this position anymore."
"What are you going to do instead?"
"I'm not sure," I admit. "Maybe take my place at his side, maybe nothing at all. I need to figure out myself. I can't do this kind of work anymore, Loren. I don't know where to go from here."
"Is that why you've been having me shadow you?"
"Yes. You have a heart for these people. You're the only person I trust with my family."
And suddenly, I feel like the queen Oswald described me as. I suppose how I proceed with this new status is up to me. I can rule ruthlessly, like him or I can be nurturing. Maybe that's the touch Falcone never had.
"You don't have to answer right now, but I'll need to know soon. If not, I need to be training someone else. You understand?"
Loren heaves, blowing her blonde bags out of her face. "I signed up for the gang, Sera. I wasn't trapped or tricked into it. My dad can't make it on his own, my mom is long gone. It's a way to live for us. Train me all you need to. You'll get out of this soon enough. I accept the position."