I shook awake to see it was dark out. I gasped after opening my eyes, from a horrible dream that I couldn't remember the second I awoke. All I remember is my body being anxious and the horrible gut feeling that built in me. My body is aching terribly. I could feel my ankle throbbing horribly along with my wrist, I suddenly wish I hadn't taken my injuries so lightly.
"You're safe." Jack reassured me with a soothing voice after my shaking awake. I stopped in my panic and instantly relaxed in his lap. His hand was on my heart was his other hand scratched his fingers in my hair. The feeling was sweet and left me wanting to purr like a cat. I felt safe in his arms.
"Are you okay?" He asked me.
"Yeah...fine." I replied unsurely, feeling weird after my nap, some nap it was... It's dark out now.
"You were out for quite a few hours." Jack told me.
"I'll leave you two." Marina quietly told us before walking over to her hut and closing the door behind her.
"How are you feeling?" He asked with a worried tone.
"My body hurts like mother fucker." I muttered bitter.
"You didn't really want to sit when you were high." Jack told me, snorting softly in laughter, although the smile quickly faded.
"Yeah..." I replied awkwardly while agreeing with him. It fell awkwardly quiet. The only thing I could hear was the fire right in front of us that was burning away. If it werent for the warming flames, I'd be shivering with the mid fall weather now kicking in.
"Arie... Why didn't you tell me the truth?" Jack questioned me, with hurt in his voice. I wanted to pretend that I didn't know what he was talking about, but we both know that I understood exactly what he meant.
"I didn't tell anyone the truth." I replied to him like it wasn't something to be bothered by.
"Why didn't you?" Jack asked me again, this time more angrily.
"Because sometimes it seems you get more hurt by this bullshit than me! I don't want to deal with it anymore. I can't stop him at this point. If he gets his hands on me I just have to expect the worst." I explained to him as I started to get frustrated too.
"That's not the point Arie. He's mentally abusing you. He's breaking you down, and I'm trying to put you back together."
"Be real Jack, I'm a broken piece that'll never be fixed." I bitterly snapped back at him. My eyes stuck to the fire, watching the flames, never had my eyes once tore away from them.
"You can't lie to me right now that those two days didn't hurt you Arie. I've watched you shut down in the last couple weeks. You keep falling apart... When was the last time I even saw you smile."
"I ask myself everyday when was the last time I was happy." I added to his statement, with my hollow chest aching softly about my honest response.
"I need to find happiness Jack, and unfortunately it's going to take a lot for that to happen. It might never happen. Maybe I might die... Who knows."
"You're doing anything but dying." Jack suddenly replied as if he would sacrifice his life for the guarantee.
"Just get me somewhere safe, and ill be happy." I told Jack, almost like it was a simple answer. In words, it was was. I know it's going to be almost impossible to get that one thing right, but if he does, I won't find myself breaking anymore. We remained in silence. It was quiet for a few minutes before any of us broke it. It was comforting though, our silenced thoughts. I didn't feel out of place when lying in his lap, not at all.
"We're leaving soon," Jack told me. I looked up at Jack, with his face only half lit up from the fire. His eyes were starring not at the fire, with his eyes looking angered. I could see the flames dancing in his eyes, while fighting to stay alive.
"We're going to the reserve," he added.
"We don't know where it is." I responded with confusion.
"We got a map from Marina." Jack told me. "We're taking you there."
"You're coming in with me though." I responded suddenly as sat up. A soft smile appeared on his lips as he placed a soft kiss on my forehead.
"Of course," he mumbled. I leaned into his torso and hugged him tightly to me.
"Jack, whatever you do, just dont leave me." I mumbled emotionally.
"I won't ever let that happen." He replied to me as he hugged me back with his arms holding my tightly to him. An adorable groan interrupted between the two of us. There I saw Samaya impatiently sitting while wishing to join us. I could help but die inside at how cute she is. I waved her over and instantly in a happy skip she ran over to us. She hopped into Jacks lap, placing her paw straight on his crotch causing him to yelp out. I giggled out loudly while shushing him with everyone sleeping. She attacked Jack with puppy kisses, slobbering all over his face.
"She's grown." Jack commented.
"Yeah, she's bigger." I realized with agreement.
"Maybe she could be the most badass zombie killer one day." Jack enthusiastically imagined.
"She already is." I corrected him.
"That's true." Jack agreed with me. "Almost as badass as you."
"Flattery doesn't get you anywhere Jack."
"I don't need flattery to get you, I already have you." He responded smoothly while kissing me. Samaya pressed her nose between the kids out of jealousy, making me giggle out loud.
"SHH!" Jack joked back to me about earlier.
"Shut up!" I yelled in a whispered.
"Only if you're kissing me." He replied to me while pressing his lips onto mine again.
"You're cute." I mumbled while caressing his cheek softly.
"We should probably go to bed, we're heading off tomorrow afternoon." Jack told me. "I want you feeling better by then too."
"How's your wrist?" Jack asked me. I looked down at my wrist to see a tight tensor bandage on it, so many layers were put on that I couldn't move it. It was probably for the better. I don't even know if it's broken or not.
"Marina said you just fractured it, it isn't fully broken, which is great news I guess."
"I hope so." I responded with a mumble. "It really fucking hurts."
"Anything that heals will hurt." Jack replied to me like it was surely to be right.
"I guess," I hummed to his response. He stood up to his feet, and then helped me up. By his side I limped my way over to the door. Samaya stood right by my side as I stepped inside and slowly made my way to my bed. She laid down next to my hands, and then Jack slid in behind me. He hugged me tightly to him before passing out. He fell asleep quickly, while I remained wide awake in his arms. His stomach was placed at my stomach, where his fingers just touched my bloated stomach. It felt bloated in the last couple days, and hasn't been changing at all. My nausea came back again, and it felt odd. It wasn't my typical kind of nausea either. My body has been dragging weak, so I must have definitely caught something, like the others. I just hope it doesn't get worse, we don't have medicine anymore to save us. I heard some soft footsteps, they made their way towards me and eventually I saw Marina. She placed a cup down by my side. She gave me a soft smile with the candle still light by my side. Her eyes fell the my stomach, where Jacks hands rest.
"How are you feeling?" She asked me.
"Tired, and relaxed." I told her honestly with my heavy body.
"Good, get some rest. You really need it. It's going to be a long few days for you."
I gave her a soft thankful smile before she blew out the candle. I closed my eyes and listened to her feet until silence filled the room. All I could hear was the occasional creek of the wood and the wind in the branches. I felt comforted with the blanket clinging to my hip bones, and Jacks hand holding me to him lovingly.
"Arie," I heard someone say to me. I didn't respond at first, but then I heard my name again, "Arrrieee."
I opened my eyes to see Mark smiling at me. I felt overwhelmed for a second, with his face close up but I smiled while very softly slapping his cheek before dropping my head again.
"It's time to wake up, you have to eat breakfast and get a check up by Marina before we leave." Mark insisted to me. I nodded my head at him sleepily while wishing to not wake up.
"Give me 5 minutes." I mumbled to him. He released a sigh before I felt myself instantly fall back asleep.
"Arie," I suddenly heard again.
"Jesus I said five minutes." I mumbled grumpily, after him giving me only a minute.
"I gave you ten," Mark told me right after. What had felt like a short moment had passed so quickly.
"Oh," I mumbled uselessly into the pillow still fighting to not sleep. My, my, time flies when you're sleepy. I forced myself up to wake up and instantly in front of me sat a bowl of food. I can't stomach the idea of eating.
"I'm not hungry," I replied to him as I looked up into his eyes.
"Dammit Arie, you're under fucking weight just eat your goddamn food." Mark snapped angrily placing the bowl down and then getting up to leave. I suddenly felt very rejected by him, I looked over at the others and they seems just as surprised as me.
"Mia?" I called to her for an answer in a somewhat whisper. She shook her head cluelessly with her hair messily sprawled across her head. She shrug her shoulders uselessly with her eyes showing me her mutual confusion.
"He's just stressed." Marina told me as she came over with a cup of tea. "If you eat small bites while drinking the tea it will help your nausea."
"Are you sure?" I questioned her nervously, doubting my bodys skill to adapt.
"I'm confident," Marina confidently replied, with her eyes looking up to me with answers I wish I knew. She knows something I don't. Her eyes quickly flicked away to the boys transferring our stuff back to the vehicles before taking off.
"Will I see you after this?" I questioned Marina, wishing to not part from her.
"I'll try. I was requested to be a doctor at the reserve after the winter season." Marina told me surely. "They left the position open for me, they told me they need there."
"What for?"
"People are getting sick."
The idea sent chills up my spine. The common cold has become dangerous even for us now, my infection isn't getting better, what if they can't do anything?
"Don't get scared my child, you will be fine," she answered my question like I had said it out loud. "Just don't get yourself in trouble for small things. Be humble and care for yourself."
"Anyways, you should eat, Arie." Marina told me before getting up to attend to things of higher importance. While watching everyone run around like ants, I forced a few bites of the cooked oats and wild berries into my reluctant mouth. On the plate next to the bowl was well cooked flesh, looking like dry bacon almost. I took sips of tea when I felt myself get nauseous from forcing the food down. After a few minute wait, surprisingly it helped to continue.
"You doing alright?" Mia asked me as she pulled herself over to me. She softly dragged her finger down my leg in a caressing way.
"I feel weak." I honesty confessed to her.
"You haven't been eating. You were passed out for almost half a week." Mia explained to me with concern. I looked up at her large, hazel eyes. Her long brown hair was messy but hung on her shoulder beautifully. Only now did I realize she was getting thin too.
"We're all getting thin." I replied to her with realization. I looked over at Sean, who's body looked slimmer too. It was terrifying me now that everything was clicking in my mind.
"We have to get to this reserve." I told Mia with complete seriousness. She looked deep in my eyes and nodded anxiously.
"Your cheeks." She expressed to me with deep concern. I never thought about my body until now. My jeans are getting big on me, and I looked at my wrists, they're skin and bone. She picked up a shard of a mirror and handed it to me. I took it in my hand and looked at it. I didn't recognize the human in the glass. Her eyes are dark and indented looking. This persons cheek bones are over defined and her neck looking sickly thin. I lifted my baggy shirt, and there I saw my well defined hips and softly bloated stomach. My ribs weren't yet overly visible, but they were still seen.
"Goddammit." I cursed with fear as I started to cry nervously. My whole body is falling apart.
"It's fine, just please start eating again." Mia quickly rushed to help me. I nodded my head and began to force the rest of the food down despite my nausea.
Marina called everyone in once they were done, and the table was filled with loads of food she had just cooked. There sat large amounts of meat, fruits and different oats or grains she collected.
"This is most of what I have," she told us, "but I'm leaving soon and it will all spoil if I don't eat."
The boys didn't hesitate to sit at the table and beginning to stuff food in their mouth. As they did, I forced the last bite food down my throat. I was done with it quickly, and I felt past full. Marina noticed instantly I was done and started to make her way over to me while the others were busy filling themselves.
"Final check up." Marina promise me as she took my hand in hers to pull me to my feet. She lead me to the corner where I was laid flat on the ground, our of sight. She lifted the shirt off of my stomach and began feeling around it, and pushing softly in certain areas. I watched her eyes as she did it, she was intrigued and knowledges completely about what it was.
"What is it?" I questioned her nervously.
"I'll tell you soon." Marina dismissively responded to me before moving on to other limbs. I suddenly grew anxious, I have to be sick, there's no other reason she wouldn't tell me. I've grown weaker in the days since I woke up from my deep slumber. All the others are only just recovering too with whatever they grew sick with, now almost all of us are no longer healthy.
I felt Marinas hand come over my leg, she took off the thin layer of cloth to reveal the injured part of my limb. I looked up to see a massive scab in place, with the swelling completely gone. A hopeful smile spread across Marinas lips.
"Your infection is gone." She sighed happily. I reacted the same way, with relief filling me dearly.
Her hands moved across my body, observing every area that had been previously hurt, and everything surprisingly seemed okay.
"Your wrist will have to be taken care of in the reserve, but everything else seems healed, including your ribs."
"My stomach?" I proceeded to question her, expecting the answer.
"I'll tell you later." She quickly told me with a voice indicating for me to hush up. Her eyes quickly dragged to the boys, making sure that they didn't hear. I nodded my head and sat up. I could feel ankle throb softly while scooting myself against the wall. It hurts from being strained the wrong way. As long as I don't put pressure while walking, I should be okay. Samaya suddenly came hoping over to me and jumped in my lap.
"Hello," I chirped happily. Her large legs hung over my thighs while she tried to fit between my legs. Her snout rested against my stomach while her head twisted around to look at me while I pet her. She looked uncomfortable in the position, but her panting told me differently. She had a doggy smile with her tail wagging, and smacking the floor with happiness. Her adorableness warmed my heart.
"Cutie," I mumbled as I leaned over and kissed her head. She instantly jumped out of my legs and then fell straight flat on her back, flashing me her stomach.
"Of course," I replied with a roll of my eyes. I scratched at her stomach while making ridiculous noises and baby voices at her. I leaned over and kissed her forehead lovingly. She groaned out happily while remaining restless. I looked up to see everyone starring at me. I flashed an awkward smile with the silence suddenly filling the room.
"Hi," I awkwardly responded before chuckling to myself at my weirdness. Samaya stop up and hopped on my back out of nowhere and started climbing all over me.
"Something tells me she missed you." Jack told me.
"No I thought she was sick of me." I sarcastically responded to his comment.
"Oh that's definitely it!" Wade agreed jokingly.
"Attack!!" Bob added while laughing out. Samaya growled playfully before hopping off me and running to them. Mark threw a large piece of meat coldly to her to she wouldn't bother her. I eyed him closely, with his eyes lifting up to mine. They were darkened with anger and a cold mood. I rolled my eyes with anger.
"Samaya," I called her with a kiddy noise followings right after. She skipped her way back to me with a piece of meat bigger than the size of triple my hand dragging from her mouth. She sat in front of me happily while tearing and chewing away at it hungrily.
"Has anyone been feeding her?" I questioned everyone in shock at her monstrous eating.
"Yeah, she's just always hungry,"
Mark replied coldly.
"Could you maybe loose the mood?" I suddenly growled back at him, with the room falling silent. He rolled his eyes without even bothering to reply and continued to eat.
"We head out in 20," Mark informed everyone as he dropped something hard onto the floor.