Shawn's POV
My Granny must have been in her recliner that sits near the window. She opened the door for me as soon as I walked up to it.
"Hey, Granny. What you doin' up?"
"Waiting for my pooh bear." My Granny has been calling me "pooh bear" since I was a baby. Apparently, I used to growl as a baby and kid, so it just went hand in hand. She isn't allowed to call me that in public anymore. I'm too old for that.
"I'm fine, Granny." I smiled at her.
"Mmhmm. Who you been with, boy?" She took a step closer to me with a grin on her face. "And why you smell like perfume?
"I don't smell like perfume." I took a step back but she took another step towards me.
"Boy, yes you do. You smell like." She grabbed my shirt and sniffed it. "Chanel perfume."
I laughed, because that's BK's definitely perfume. That shit is strong as shit.
"Mmmhhmm.." She gave me a look that I couldn't read.
"What, granny?" I chuckled.
"Where did you meet this girl, pooh bear?"
"Granny, what girl?"
"Listen, little boy. You gon' learn me. Here? Now, I done wiped ya lil butt and everything else! I know!"
"But Granny, what does all of that have to do with a girl?"
"Because! You think you're slick!"
I laughed.v"How do I think I'm slick?"
"When have you ever told me that you're gonna stay out later?"
"There was that one time-...She's just a friend, Granny."
"Mhmm, and what did you and this 'friend' do on a school night?"
"We just went to eat."
"At Jack N The Box?"
"No."
"Okay, so where did y'all go?"
"Chili's."
"Aaaaw. My pooh bear went a date." She smiled and pinched my cheek. I swear I'm too old for this.
"It wasn't a date. She's just my friend."
"Did you pay?"
"I need to take a shower." I attempted to walk away but she stopped me.
"You paid for it, didn't you?" She said with a huge grin on her face.
"Only because you told me told to always pay for-."
"The girl you want to date." She said for a matter of fact.
"Well this time is different."
"How so?"
"Because she's...I just met her a week ago."
"And you're already paying for her dinner?"
I kissed my teeth. "Man. I'm going to sleep." Granny laughed at me.
"Just admit that I'm right."
"Nope."
"On a more serious note."
"Is everything okay?"
"Your dad sent you a letter."
"Oh.. You can just put it with the other ones."
"How long are you going to ignore him?"
"Forever."
"Pooh bear, you should at least read one of the letters." She desperately encouraged.
"Why should I? It won't change anything. I'm still gon' be here and he'll still be where he is. That man ain't father of mine."
"There still isn't any changing your mind, is there?"
"No."
Granny sighed. "Okay, well. Go on about your business."
"Good night, Granny." I kissed her cheek.
"Good night, baby. I wanna meet the girl that smells like Chanel."
I laughed. The fact that my Granny knows perfume so well. She is a mess, for real. My Granny has the sweetest voice. I think that's why I loved her so much as a kid. I know that doesn't make sense..
I've been living with my Granny since I was seven years old. She's my legal guardian. I mean I am eighteen, but yeah. My Mom passed away before my seventh birthday, on November 28th. That was very traumatic for me. Sometimes the imagine passes through my mind. I have nightmares about every now and then.
My Mom and I were in a bank. That morning when I woke up the thought of my mom dying right before my eyes never crossed my mind. The bank was robbed by three base heads. Out of all the people to grab while demanding money, he grabbed my Mom. The stupid woman wasn't filling the bags fast enough and within seconds, my Mom was gone.
As for my "father", he and my mom weren't together when she passed away. I don't think they ever were. They had that "we have a child, so we can have sex whenever" type of relationship. You know? He was there for me before she was murdered, but not like he should have been. He wasn't a complete dead beat though.
For a few months after my seventh birthday, I was bounced around from group home to group home. My "father" didn't want to man up and have the responsibility of raising me, so he signed over his parental rights. My Granny adopted me and she has been a great grandmother. She wasn't my mom, or my dad, but my Granny.
I say that, because she gave me that Granny love. That's nothing like love from your parents, in my opinion. My Granny spoiled me like she didn't know the word "no". I obviously loved that. I guess that because I needed it. As for her sweet voice, it comforted me when I went through everything.
I sat in that bank listening to angry voices. The voices haunted me while I was in those group homes. Not to mention the mean ass older kids that teased me. I needed to hear something soft, like my Granny's voice. I probably sound like a punk, but that's real life for me.
My granny keeps telling me that I need to talk to someone. Not necessarily a professional, but a true friend would be fine. When it comes to friends I have TyTy. I met him in one of the group homes. His parents passed away in a car accident. When I left the group home I thought about him a lot. He was just like me, shy and quiet, so we clicked instantly. We ended up going to the same middle school, now that's my bro! My team is coo, but I wouldn't consider them family like BK does with her team. I wish I could but nah.
When I met BK, she really was annoying! Asking me questions and shit. All of that changed quickly changed, when she told me that I should talk to someone. It instantly reminded me of my granny. That's why I went back to gym the next day. I lied when I said that I'm there everyday. My granny bought me a basketball court, and it's in our backyard. That day, I just wanted to get away because she was nagging me about my father.
Now, BK. She's fine as hell. I ain't even gon' lie. Her ass is nice, too. Don't get me started on her hips. God has blessed her in all the right ways when it comes to her body. She has nice lips, all shinny with that lip gloss or whatever it is. Maan, her eyes are pretty too, cool how they change colors.
I think she's a really coo person. Her company is already addicting. Maybe that's just because I haven't had that many female friends. Now that I have BK, I like it. She's really funny. I like that she's has a sense of humor. She seems like the girl that you take the strip club with you and your boys, and she's just one of the guys. At the same time, she seems like the girl that you could bring home.
I opened the door to my bedroom and walked in. Just like most niggas, I don't clean at all. My Granny be getting on me about my room a lot. I swear keeping this shit clean is like mission impossible. It takes me three days to clean it. As of right now, it's clean.
I slipped my feet out of my slides and put them in my closet. I'm trying this "put things away when I'm done" shit. Blame my Granny. I got some draws from my dresser then headed to my bathroom to shower. I don't know how long it lasted, but it seemed long.
As I was sitting at the edge of my bed putting lotion on, my phone vibrated next to me. I looked down at my phone and smiled.
Received from Brooklyn: Hey, Big Head. I'm home. :-)
Sent to Brooklyn: That's good. What you doing?
I finished putting lotion on then put my draws on.
Received from Brooklyn: I can't tell you.
I got some socks from my top drawer. It feels weird when I sleep without socks.
Sent to Brooklyn: Why? :-(
Received from Brooklyn: It's too inappropriate.
Sent to Brooklyn: You bout to get undressed or nah?
I put a tshirt and a pair of basketball shorts then turned my TV On. Granny tells me that I'm afraid of the dark because I sleep with TV on. I'm way too old for that. It's just another stupid habit of mine. After I turned my light off I got in the bed. If I could stay in my bed all day, I would. I got that memory foam so it's hella comfortable.
Received from Brooklyn: :-O How did you know?
Sent to Brooklyn: Because I'm awesome, remember?
Received from Brooklyn: No. -___- lol.
Sent to Brooklyn: Hater.
Received from Brooklyn: Never, Big Head. Neveeeeeer! Lol.
Sent to Brooklyn: Yeah yeah yeah. Can I be honest with you?
Received from Brooklyn: Of course, Big Head. That's what friends are for!
Sent to Brooklyn: I'm glad that I met you.
Wait. Shit. I shouldn't have said that. I hope she doesn't take that the wrong way, like I like her or something.
Received from Brooklyn: "Don't feel special" Are you taking that statement back?
Sent to Brooklyn: No, 'cause you ain't special, CUH! Lol.
Received from Brooklyn: If you admit that I'm special, I'll admit that you're awesome.
Sent to Brooklyn: Nah, BK. I can't do that. Lol.
Received from Brooklyn: Good night, hater.
Sent to Brooklyn: You know damn well your ass ain't going to sleep.
Received from Brooklyn: Yeah but you don't need to know that tho.
Sent to Brooklyn: But....
Received from Brooklyn: Lol. Get out of my bidness..
We were text back to back. I don't think that I've replied to anyone's texts so quickly. An hour had passed while I was texting her. She dust reply to my last text. Im guess she fell asleep on me. I'ma just watch TV until I fall asleep.
--
Bey's POV
Last night, I wanted to text my Big Head back, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. It felt so uncomfortable to even type a message. I deleted it, and forgot about it. I just couldn't talk to him after John did what Chico did. It wasn't the first time, though. Actually, he was the one that started this...whole thing.
I was laughing so loud and hard at Shawn, that I didn't hear my door open. The reason for me not feeling him sneak into my bed because I was laying on my side, and I was just in a really good place until it happened.
My Mom and Timothy were no where to be found. Solange was knocked out snoring. I could have screamed for help but that would just put my sister at risk. I'm not having that on my conscious. I don't want her to experience what I am, and I don't want to be the blame.
When he finished, I took a shower. The place where I don't know the difference between the water and my tears.
I'm getting ready for school, and well to make a drop. Big L text me last night. This time it's only five hundred dollars, but it's more than I had before. Matt text me this morning and told me that he didn't need a ride. I didn't bother to ask, because he's most likely balls deep in Vanessa somewhere.
"Mama." I called when she walked into to the kitchen. She looks like the morning after. Freaking disgusting man. This woman used to be my everything. It's not even her that's on drugs, it's Tim. That's what trips me out.
"Yeah?" I sat at the cherry wood kitchen nook with my bowl of my favorite cereal, Pops.
"Why didn't you come to my game?"
"I lost track of the time. I'm sorry, baby. Next time. I promise." I just looked down at bowl of cereal and circled my spoon in the milk.
Lost track of time? What was she doing that caused her to lose track of time? Why is she handing me empty promises? She does this time and time again. It means a lot to me when my mom is at my game. To some people, it doesn't matter. It matters to me. I want her to be proud of me, but I'll forget about that. Maybe my hopes are just way too high.
"Okay." I replied. I can't help, but feel sad that my mom doesn't care. I'm probably being dramatic, but I feel like crying. A "lump" formed in my throat. Ugh. This is so stupid. I hate being so damn sensitive.
"You okay?" My Mom asked as I begin to eat my cereal.
"Yeah. You said next time, right?"
"Yeah."
"That's tomorrow, at my school. 5:30."
"Alright, well I gotta get ready."
"Kay." She kissed my forehead and went about her business. Call me childish, but I wiped it off. Solange joined me shortly a after my Mom walked out. She had a bowl of Lucky Charms, her favorite. After we ate, we left for school. I dropped her off her, and she asked where I was going. I told her that I was going to CVS for some Advil.
On the way to Big L's, I rode in silence. No music, just me and my thoughts. I was there before I knew it. I greeted the trappers that were posted outside, before walking in.
"What's good wit chu?" Big L asked me. He sat on the couch with two girls next to him.
"I'm good."
"You sure, lil mama?" He studied me.
"Yeah." I chuckled. "Just tired from last night."
"Aaaaah shit. What chu gettin' into?"
"Nothing like that. I had a game." I forced a laugh.
"You was beastin'?"
"Something like that." I replied dryly.
He tossed me a backpack. "Be careful, aight."
"I will." I started to walk out, but he called me.
"Aye. You know if you need something, I gotchu."
"I know." I smiled before walking out. Successfully and safely, I made the drop. Five hundred much needed dollars. When I got to school, Shawn texted me.
Received from Big Head: That was rude of you, BK. You just fell asleep without saying goodnight.
I looked at the text and put my phone back into my pocket. After I got my note from the office I went to class. Matt gave me a look. He most likely knows. To be honest, I don't even care that I broke my promise. Class went by quickly and I was grateful for that. When it was over Matt immediately started talking my head off.
"Where you been, man?" He asked as we walked towards the quad.
"Doing what I have to do."
"You said that was done missing school, Gis."
"Sometimes I have to go back on my word."
"What type of shit?"
"Don't talk my head off, Matt. Not today. Shit."
"Yo. What's wrong with you? I ain't do anything but care about your education-"
"Lord have mercy." I let out a deep breath. "Here you go."
"Bey." He stopped and grabbed my arm. "What's wrong? For real."
"Nothing, Matt. I'm fine." I looked just everywhere except for his eyes to avoid eye contact.
"It happen again...Didn't it?...You have to tell someone."
Finally, I looked at him. "I already told you that I can handle it!"
"How are you gonna handle two grown ass that are twice your size, Gis?" With everything in me, I held back my tears. I'm not crying at school. Nope. I refuse.
"You need to get help."
"No, I don't. I'm fine."
"No you're not, Bey. You're not okay, and you know it."
"I'm fine, Matt."
"Bey-"
"I'm fine!!" I shouted in anger. "Shit! Leave me the fuck alone!" He was completely taken back. I saw in his eyes that he was hurting for me.
I don't wanna be here. I'm about sign myself out and leave. Matt stood there as I walked away.