Mr. & Mrs. Crazy Pants •A Jer...

By Superjusticeleaguer

22.4K 663 130

Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.... •He was deranged and twisted...• •She was a killer and loved a... More

One: Waffles & A Murder
Two: Murderous Bonding
Three: Home Run..
Four: One Of The Good Guys
Five: Every Girl Loves Neck Biting...Right?
Six: Please Don't Take My Sunshine...Away...
Seven: I'm A Menace To Society...And I Love It
Eight: Are You Deranged Like Me?
Nine: What Are We, Some Kind Of Suicide Squad?
Ten: You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Eleven: His Last Laugh?!?
Twelve: Friends? Foe? Who Knows?
A/N GOOD NEWS KIDDIES!!!

Thirteen: The Whole Worlds Laughing

1.1K 33 2
By Superjusticeleaguer

Quinnie:

I walk into my room and open the top drawer.

"Buttercup..." I feel Jerome's hands wrap around my hips as he kisses the back of my neck.

"Hmm?" I close my eyes as I feel him tug at my ear with his teeth.

"When will I get to go after Galavan?" I open my eyes and turn to him. I place my hands on both sides of his face and go to kiss him but he stops by placing the tip of his finger against my lips.

I kiss it and move my face back.

"I'm planning everything perfectly, for you baby. As we speak, Penguin is speaking with Galavan. I'm sure his plan to become mayor will go all like its suppose to...except when we surprise him."

"Good, I want him to suffer. I want him to think he's won and when he least expects it..."

"How ya gonna off him?"

"Should I tell you?" He looks at me and I get a shiver between my thighs. I suck his finger and nod.

He slides his finger between my lips with a grin across his face.

"I'm thinking about getting a crowbar..." I let his finger go and snake down so that I'm on my knees.

"Keep going..." I reach up for his zipper and he clears his throat.

"...he's going to be tied to a chair. But I won't tape his mouth shut."

"Oooh, this is getting exciting.." I reach into his boxers and stroke him as he bites his lip looking down at me.

"Urm...then I'm going to take his sister and make her knee down in front of him. Then I'll ask, him if he likes playing a hero."

I lean forward and take him in my mouth. I look up and see his eyes fluttering close.

"Fuck...then, I'm going to bash her skull in with the crowbar while he screams for me to s..s..stop." I take him to the back of my throat and he grips my hair.

"Th..the...fuck it." He moves back and yanks me up then throws me on the bed.

"Awe but you were getting to the good part." I say with a pout. Jerome lifts my chin and he whispers.

"Don't worry. The best part is what I do to him."

"Oh I can't wait to hear that."

"How about I tell it to your clit?" I giggle and know the fun is about to start...

I place the mask on and Jerome looks at me in the mirror while he lays on the bed with the sheets draped over him.

"Why do you wear that?" I pull my hair back and pull up my hood then turn to him. "To honor my father."

"Would he want you to wear a mask? I mean, no disrespect gorgeous but if you want to honor him. Don't wear that. Make Gotham fear Quinnie Valeska." I lift up the mask and give a side smile.

"You know puddin, Theo's an idiot for what he did to you. You're a lot smarter than they think." Jerome sits up and motions me over.

I walk over and kneel down beside him.
"Never wear a mask again. Your own face is the truth that the world needs to see. Honor your father with...a rebirth."

"A rebirth?" He nods and kisses my ring finger.
"You'll get it when your eyes are more open, buttercup." My heart throbs and I glance over at my sewing kit.

"Wanna have some fun?"

"Always, buttercup." I look back at him. "Get your box cutter, and...wear that purple tux from our wedding day."

"Must be a special occasion. What do you have planned?" He asks as he gets up. I look at his bare ass as he goes to our closet. "Rebirth to an old joke..."

Johni Dango:

I walk into Rotten Kisses Strip Club and look at the scene. "Yo, Diego, any fresh ones?" I ask one of the bouncers, who happens to be one of my dealers to the girls.

"Yeah, this blonde with ass as firm as a peach."

That's what I like to hear. "Where is she?" Diego points to the main stage and I look just as a girl with a bubble gum pink wig struts on stage.

I whistle at her. "I didn't know it was costume night."

"It isn't, but do you really wanna tell her otherwise?" She was wearing a skin tight nurse uniform and I watch as she grinds against the pole.

"What's her name?"

"No clue, I don't think she speaks English."

"Really?" I ask. "Yeah, exotic looking girls like that, they ain't from Gotham. I bet she's like Polish or Swedish. A dumb broad."

"I want a private show with this one. I need my cock sucked like no tomorrow since the Misses ain't doing it for me."

Diego laughs but gives me a shoulder pat. "Sure thing, boss. I'll go set it up for you."

I walk on over to the bar and order a bottle of the top shelf stuff.

"Boss, she'll be in the gold room."

"Let me not keep her waiting." I wink at him and walk on over with the bottle in my hand.

As I walk inside I see her twirling around the pole.

"Don't you look fitting." I watch her for a bit and feel a stiff one coming on.

"What's your name doll face?"

She looks over at me and crawls towards me.

"I'm whoever you want me to be." Hm?

"Your accent?"

"Russian, but don't worry. I'm not a communist."

"Doll face, you could be the spawn of Satan and I honestly wouldn't give two shits. Why don't you come here and have a drink. You look thirsty."

I help her down and offer her a glass.

"I must say you are stunning. And quite...tempting." I let my hand travel up her thigh and she looks right at me.

"That's extra." She plucks my hand away and takes the whole bottle from me.

"How much? I'll pay for all your dreams to come true doll face."

She sits down on my lap and strokes my cheek. "Mm, all it will cost you Mr. Dango, is a smile."

"Oh, you know my last name, huh?"

"I know a lot more than that." She leans over and pulls a little baggie out of her bosom.

"Whoa, I don-"

"Don't you wanna have some fun? I love fun. Especially when I get my mouth and hands involved." She licks her lips and I feel the tip leak a bit.

"Just this once." She smiles and opens the little baggie, dropping the little black tablet in my mouth.

The moment it hits my tongue it fizzes and starts to burn a bit.

"Go ahead and swallow for me." I choke and swallow it down but seconds after my stomach feels as if it's about to burst.

"Wh..at di...d you do, you...ack! Crazy broad!"

I hear footsteps behind me and she gets off of my lap. I go to grab her but my hand gets yanked back.

"Ah!"

"Now, now. Don't get ballsy with my lady." I look and see some ginger kid sporting some purple suit.

"Awe, puddin we were just havin some fun."

"I know, but now it's time for business. You're a businessman right, Johni? Listen up, you're going to die because that pill my sweetie pie gave you was a calcium tablet. Funny thing, in about ten minutes, buttercup?"

"Exactly."

"Exactly! Ten minutes after this chat or depending on how slow I talk, you'll be dead with a hole through your stomach. Now, here's the thing, my lovely wife here, happens to share a past with your old man. He offed her dear old dad. Which trust me, makes it hard since she loved him. Now, what you're going to do is show the people that even after death. We all end up getting the last laugh." My stomach feels more swollen under my suit.

The girl looks at me and her facial expression changed as she took the bubble gum pink wig off.

"Mistah J is being too nice."

"Hm? Mister J? I like the sound of that."

"I figured you would puddin. Now back to you bozo. Boy I'd hate to be you. Tonight you're not going to be like the others. In fact you're going to be baptized so you can be reborn again....this is going to be so much fun." I groan and he pulls my chair from under me, making me fall.

"Ah!"

The girl takes her stripper heal and kicks me in the gut making me cough up blood...

Quinnie:

"They killed him on that battlefield. By making it look like he shot himself in the mouth. You're lucky I don't have a gun Dum-Dum or else you'd be spittin bullets."

"Quinnie..." Jerome warns. "Let me enjoy him seeing his insides slowly turn into soup for a little while, puddin. I want to see his last words written across his face. I want him to think he has no hope. How I imagine my Papa felt."

Jerome snakes his arms around me and I see he hands me his box cutter.

"Make him beg. I wanna hear him squeal like a stuck pig." I take him and flick it out.

I walk around so that I was above his head. I kneel down and look up.

"Join me." I offer the box cutter back and Jerome seems to smile wide enough that the smile almost splits his face in half.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Quinnie." Jerome looks down and the guy was splurting more blood out of his mouth.

"Wanna hear a joke?" He asks. "Oh, course you do, buddy. What's the difference between you and a donut? Nothing! Both of you have a hole in the middle! Hahahahahaha!"

Johni starts to cough harder but Jerome yanks his head up and brings the blade to his mouth.

"Why so serious?" He hisses as he jerks his hand.

Johni screams and I sit back, smiling as I watch my hubby work.

"Your turn, I'm sure you want to get it done before he pops."

I nod and get up standing over the bloody faced man.

I take out my sewing kit and get to work.

"When we're done with you, you'll never frown again..."

Detective Gordon:

I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing. I go to grab it but Lee gets to it first.

"Hello?"

I turn over and feel her tap my shoulder.

I then take the phone and bring it to my ear.

"Gordon."

"We got another body. And this time it's personal." Harvey says over the phone.

"What are you-"

"Just get to Rotten Kisses, it's a strip joint." He hangs up and I sigh.

"Duty calls." Lee says as she turns over.

About ten minutes later, I was walking up to what looked like a crime scene. When I find Harvey walking out he had a grime look on his face.

"What's going on?"

"The owner of the club, said one of his girls was bringing in a client and that's when the body was discovered...I don't think I'll be able to sleep for a month." He walks away from me and I decide to head inside to get a look around as well as getting some feel of what's going on.

I walk inside and see other cops, questioning the men and women.

"Detective Gordon?"

"Yes?"  I walk over to officer Nev.

"I'll warn you. It's not pretty in there."

"I hear, what happened?"

"The Vic's name is Johni Dango, he's sort of a small time drug Kingpin in these parts. One of the bouncers here, said that the last person to see Dango alive was a woman who they just learned, wasn't even registered to work there."

"So some stranger just kills him?"

"It's suggested that this was a two person job, but what makes this murder so terrible...is...well you'll see."

He leads me into the room and all I smell is blood and...

"Oranges?"

"We're trying to figure that out too Detective. Here." He motions me over to the body and he lifts up the sheet.

I'm glad I didn't eat anything before getting here.

The man had a big gaping hole where his stomach use to be, he had a sewed on smile and his eyes were designed like diamonds. Just like a clown. But what made this murder more chilling was my name was carved into his chest along with a few laughing characters.

I know who did this.

There's no doubt about it....

The next morning when I walk into the station I see Harvey marching over to me.

"Whoa, what's wrong?"

"Your little friend is here." We both walk up the stairs and before I can say who, I look and see the commissioner coming out of the interrogation room.

I glance behind his shoulder and there she sat, as if she didn't just kill a man last night.

"James, James!" I hear the commissioner call after me, but I was already in the room.

"Quinnie." She looks at me and I see a small smile on her face. "Hello, Jimbo. How's the Misses?" I never wanted to hit a woman before, but now that I see her, I want to slap some sense into her.

"You're going away for a very long time."

"Did you enjoy the present? I hear a lot of pigs in this joint like donuts." She gives me a smug smile and I grab her by the face.

"Let her go!" The commissioner shouts.

"Let me go, Jimmy-Jack. Or else I won't spill the re-fried beans." She clicks her tongue at me and I let her go.

"Quinnie here, has agreed to give us information, for a reduced sentence in prison."

"Plus, I gotta speak up for my sins." She says as she bats her eyes.

I pull the commissioner over to the side so Quinnie couldn't hear.

"You don't actually believe her do you?"

"I know what this looks like, Jim. But we don't have any options. She already told us why those men and women have been targeted."

"And why is that?" I ask. "Because they are part of a killing bloodline." Quinnie pipes in. She was sitting on the table looking at her nails.

"Get off the table, Rasputin."

"Someone didn't get their coffee this morning." She get off the table and winks at me.

"She is a manipulator. Plus she's smart, how do we know she isn't the one doing these murders and attacks?"

"Would I really be that stupid to come here?" I look over and Quinnie was leaning towards us so she could hear.

I march over to her and grab her by the arm, not caring if it had hurt her. Instead she gives me a sinister smile.

"Mm, you're a rough kind of cop. How about you handcuff me and show me who's boss?"

"Stop playing around. Now tell us everything." She sighs. "Fine, but I'll only tell you, cause you're just so special." She snatched away from me and looks back at her nails and hums a strange tune...

Quinnie:

It was Jimbo and I in the room. But I know they can see me in the one way mirror.

"How ya been?"

"Quinnie, I need you to tell me why those people were targeted."

"Wow, so rude but straight to the point. I can tell you everything but wouldn't it be better if I showed you?" I see his eyes light up for a moment.

"Why would you give us so much information, what do you gain out of this?"

"A peace of mind and f.y.i. I'm telling you the information. Now, how about we get outta here an-"

"We aren't going anywhere right now. Not until you answer this, why did you shoot him?"

"Who? Him is very universal."

"Don't be a smartass Rasputin."

I want to correct him, but not yet.

Oh not yet.

"He died in my arms, Gordon. He died in my arms and it was all Galavan's fault."

"Theo Galavan saved everyone."

"Did he? It's kind of funny how he just swoops in and saves the day."

"Are you saying that he planned for you and Jerome to do that?" I just look at him and sit up.

"I'll show you, everything." I crawl across the table and look him in the eye. "I'll show you...everything." I see him swallow and he gets up.

"Where?"

"I'm not telling you anything until you take me. That's my leverage." I grab him by his tie and whisper in his ear.

"Galavan deserves everything coming to him."

About an hour later, Detective Gorbash and his buddy were in a police car.

"Turn left." I say as I keep looking ahead.

"This is the third left, I've taken, Quinnie." Harvey comments. "Fine, take a right at the light."

At a stop sign he stops and turns around looking at me. "Do you even know where we're going?"

"Of course I do! Now drive, copper." He sneers at me and pulls off quick making me hit the back of my head.

"Ouch!" I rub my head angrily and make eye contact with Jimmy-John.

"If this is a trap, Quinnie. You're going-"

"This isn't a trap. This is proof. I know because I'm connected."

"How are you connected?" He asks. "You've looked me up, over and over again ever since the whole police station thing. You obsess over me ever since Jerome died. You really shouldn't play dumb. It's not a good look on you."

I see something flickers in his eyes and I can feel the smile on my face spreading.

"Tell me, how mad was the Misses when she caught you asking about me? Do you get off on looking at my files? Does it make you hot for me?"

He turns around and just as he was about to speak, a huge truck rams into us.

Right on cue.

The world spins, but I regain control of my equilibrium and kick the glass from the back seat open.

The rest of the police cars were trapped on the other side of the truck.

I lift my hands above my head and reach into my bun, pulling out a bobby pin.

Once my hands are free I walk over to detective Gordon's body.

"Ready to go down in history?" Jerome asks as he stands beside me.

"Always with you, Puddin..."

Detective Gordon:

My hands felt tied behind my back.

I cough and my lungs feel like they had smoke in them.

"Hey, wakey wakey." I feel slap to my face and my eyes shoot wide open.

My vision was blurry but when it clears, I see...

"Jerome?" The sinister boy was in front of me smiling.

"Hello, my Jim, you look you've seen a ghost. Cheer up man!" He laughs and I try to figure out where I am.

"He does look pale." I turn my head and see Quinnie sitting on what I think is a large trunk, cutting an apple.

"How about we put some color back into those cheeks."

"Oh!"

"Not yet, buttercup."

"Awe..." Quinnie pouts and Jerome pulls up a chair placing it in front of me.

"How..are you alive? We saw Galavan stab you in the throat."

Jerome looks back at Quinnie and she takes another slice out of her apple.

"I knew he was planning something big. I wasn't stupid and Galavan knew, that if Jerome were out of the picture, then I would have no choice but to follow. Boy was he an idiot. No wonder his family was kicked out. Anyways, while Galavan was prepping for his big hero moment, I went and replaced majority of the real knives with novelty ones, that were used in the show. I left about two real knives, just for laughs. Now the good thing about the knife used on my Puddin was, it was one of those knives that they used in the movies. You know they push in when they come in contact with any solid object? Anyways, before the whole shindig, I slip puddin a cherry capsule and well you know the rest."

"My girl, she's not only smart, but a keeper. Now I bet you're wondering why you're here?Well, we both have a bone to pick with you, but...we want to tell you our motives...I just wanted to ram you with a truck. Hahaha!"

"And, I want to give you what you wanted. The names of those people and why they were targeted."

I try to move, but my shoulder feels terrible.

"In this trunk, is a secret. It's a secret known by, only the founding families of Gotham. Well with one exception." Quinnie gets up then hands the knife and apple to Jerome.

"My family..." She opens the trunk and we're greeted by a musty smell.

Where are we? I think to myself as I look around.

She pulls out a book and walks over to me.

"This, is my father's journal. He wrote just about everything down when it came to his skills. Also this holds all the names of the people targeted. But I have the names all in here." She taps the side of her temple.

"I hurt those people. All because they are associated with the dirty bastards that killed my father. And you know what?"

She leans down just so I can hear.

"I enjoyed cutting into their faces, because I can see they were miserable. Why not add a smile or twenty? You see, I'm not going to stop hurting people...not for a very long time..."

She leans back and Jerome walks over to me. "You see, you're going to be in on the secret. All because in the end, you're going to let us go free."

"What makes you think that?" I spat at him.

"Because, silly. You can't leave this place, without the keys." Quinnie jiggles a pair of keys on a necklace and I feel my blood boil.

"Someone looks angry."

"Jerome. Can you go and grab those tanks?"

"Sure, in a minute."

"Pretty please..." She bats her eyes at him and stands on her tippy toes, giving him a kiss on the lips.

"Fine, buttercup." When Jerome leaves, Quinnie stares at me for all of two whole heartbeats.

"Quinnie, you don't need to do this. I can help you."

I hear a door close and she suddenly walks over and kicks the chair I was in over, causing me to hit the back of my head.

"Help for what? I'm not sick. My eyes are wide open. My mind is clear, and I love hurting people." She leans down close enough to my face that I can smell the apple on her breath.

"My family, believes that when we die. We are reincarnated into another being. I'm sharing this with you, because I know my time will come and the funny thing is, the next time I come back I'm pretty sure I won't be so easy to take out...who knows...I might come back as some sadistic clown that will haunt you until you draw your very last breath." She giggles and when I look into her eyes, all I see is two cold blue hues and a very very black center.

"Cheer up, Jimmy. The whole worlds laughing, why don't you join us..." She says in a cold tone...

Continue Reading

You'll Also Like

113K 3.4K 31
"she does not remind me of anything, everything reminds me of her." lando norris x femoc! social media x real life 2023 racing season
377K 13.5K 58
𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 Ellie Sloan reunites with her older brother when her hospital merges with his jackson avery x ellie sloan (oc) season six ━ season se...
182K 4.9K 42
" She is my wife, stay away from her!" " Keep trying she will remain mine. " " Show me your scars, I want to see how many times you needed...