Thomas' POV
My heart is beating too fast. I don't know why but it started when I put my arms around her. Am I feeling nervous? I was just being nice to put my arms around her since she's feeling cold. Why am I making this a big deal?
The movie came to an end already. We went out of the cinema house and my heartbeat is in a normal rate again. What am I feeling? Whatever it is, I don't like it.
"Thom?" Ara called me, bringing me back to reality.
"Ano yun? Sorry, I was just thinking about something." Yeah. I was just thinking and technically, ikaw ang naiisip ko.
"Nagtatanong lang ako if gutom ka na rin. Si Kat kasi she's starving na daw."
"Tagal mong sumagot, Kuya. Gutom na kaming dalawa kaya kain na tayo." Pagyayaya ni Kat and she pulled Ara away. I have no choice but to follow them.
We ate and I'm just listening sa mga pinag-uusapan nila. Kat is really happy right now bonding with Ara. Sana she'll give Denden a chance too.
"Ate, punta ka sa house namin." She wants pa yata na doon na lang tumira si Ara sa house namin.
"Hindi ako pwede ngayon and late na kaya." Ara told her. Lumalalim na rin ang gabi.
I noticed Kat's expression changed. "Sayang naman. I miss having you there in our house."
"Huwag ka na ngang malungkot diyan. May next time pa naman siguro." Ara tried cheering her up. Lumalabas talaga pagkababy ng sister ko kapag kasama siya.
"If you're thinking na it would be awkward since the last time you went there ay kayo pa ni Kuya, then don't. Para sa akin ka lang naman pumupunta."
The last time she went there, she broke up with me. That was the time my heart got shattered and I thought that it couldn't be fixed anymore. I looked at Ara and I know that she's thinking what I'm thinking.
"Oo naman. Pupunta ako doon for you. And besides, miss ko na rin naman ang mga niluluto ni Manang Mila." She replied after a few seconds of silence.
"She misses you too, Ate. I bet miss ka na rin nina Mom." I know that Mom misses Ara too. Everyone misses her in the family.
"Miss ko na rin naman sila. Busy lang talaga ako right now. Alam mo naman dahil sa volleyball." Ara reasoned out. Hindi pa pala nila break. I know that it's their semi-finals already.
"Running for MVP kasi kaya masyadong focused." I teased. Nakwento lang sa akin ni Jeron na dikitan lang talaga ang stats nilang dalawa ni Aly.
"MVP ka diyan. Si Aly na yun." She replied.
"You know what? That's what Aly's telling Jeron too. Ikaw daw ang MVP." It's so funny that they're both saying na hindi sila ang MVP pero they'll say each other's names.
Kat and Ara both laughed. "Bahala na. Okay na siguro sa akin kung makapasok kami sa finals and makapagchampion." Yun naman talaga ang gusto ng isang athlete for their team; to be champions. An individual award is just a bonus for athletes like us.
"Ang galing niyo kasing dalawa, Ate. Ang hirap pumili sa inyo. Dapat dalawang MVP awards na lang." Ara and I laughed of what Kat said. Totoo naman kasi na dapat dalawa na lang. Pero nonetheless if pipili ako, I would definitely choose Ara. She deserves it because she made a major comeback in the volleyball scene.
"Hindi naman pwede na dalawang MVP awards and parang hindi naman kami pwedeng maging tie."
"It's gonna be your team and her team in the finals. Nararamdaman ko." I told her. They're the top two teams so hindi malayo na these teams will face in the finals.
"Marami pa namang magagaling. Pero sana nga."
"Hindi malabo yan, Ate. Ang lalakas ng mga teams niyo."
"And let us not forget that you're Ara Galang." I said and smiled at her.
After eating, hinatid na rin namin si Ara sa house nila. Medyo dumidilim na rin kasi at alam naman namin na she needs to rest dahil pagod pa rin naman siya from training kahapon.
"Thanks, guys. Nag-enjoy talaga ako for today. See you soon, Kat. And pasensya na Thom. Sumama ka pa sa amin." She's still in the car and nasa harap na kami ng bahay nila.
"It's really fine with me. I enjoyed din naman." I said. I had fun spending some time with her even though parang third wheel lang talaga ako dito.
"See you soon, Ate. Manonood ako ng mga games mo."
"Asikasuhin mo muna ang pagpasok mo sa school. Tapos you can watch my games na." Ara said to Kat. Mag-aaral muna siya dito and pwede pa naman siyang makahabol.
"I will. Thank you for today, Ate."
"Wala yun. Lakas mo kaya sa akin." Ara smiled at Kat. "Baba na ako ah. Bye, Kat. Bye, Thom."
Bumaba na siya sa car at hinintay na rin namin na makapasok siya sa house nila.
***
"Did you enjoy this day, Kuya?" Kat asked me while I'm driving. Lumipat na rin siya sa passenger seat.
"Oo naman. I don't need to ask you if you enjoyed this day. Kita na sa mukha mo."
"Good to know na nag-enjoy ka. I'll guess nag-enjoy ka nung nanonood tayong movie." Nginitian niya ako ng nakakaasar. I grimaced. "Joke lang. Hindi ka naman mabiro."
"I was just being nice to her. Nilalamig siya and I didn't bring any jacket kaya yun na lang ang naisip ko. Baka ano-ano nanaman ang tumatakbo sa utak mo, Kat."
"Kuya, chill. Ang defensive mo and if you can see your face right now, nakakatuwa." She laughed. Am I being defensive?
"Kapag may sinabi, defensive. Kapag tahimik naman, guilty. Ano ba talaga?" I replied at her. Totoo naman kasi. I don't know where to place myself right now.
"Sorry. I was just joking around." Kat apologized and we remained quiet the whole ride home.
The moment we got home, Kat talked to me bago kami bumaba ng car.
"Kuya, sorry about what happened awhile ago. I know that you got offended because of me." Hindi ko rin naman matitiis ang little sis ko so I smiled immediately at her.
"It's okay. Huwag mo na lang uulitin yun. Remember that I was just being nice to your Ate Ara."
"You will always care for her talaga." She said.
"Always." I told her and went out of the car already.
***
Jeron was waiting for me in the veranda of our house. For sure, he went on a date with Aly. I can feel it.
"Bro! What are you doing here?" I asked him. Medyo late na rin naman kasi.
"I visited Tita and Tito. And wala lang, I just want to chill." I have this feeling that he wants to talk to me also.
"Bro, I know na hindi lang yun ang pinunta mo. Admit it."
"You got me there, Thomas. I just want to talk to you." Parang alam ko na kung saan mapupunta ang conversation na 'to.
"Alright. I think I know kung ano ang pag-uusapan natin."
"Tara. Let's go to the nearest club here. I'll drive you home later."
"Ang sabihin mo, ako pa ang maghahatid sa'yo." We both laughed after that. I hope Jeron won't get wasted tonight.
We went to the nearest club. We'll just drink and talk. Ayaw ko naman sa bahay since I know that Kat is such an eavesdropper.
"Uunahan na kita. You invited me here because you want to talk to me about what happened awhile ago in the mall." I told him.
"Talino mo talaga." He chuckled. "So, ano nga ang nangyari sa mall kanina?"
"Kung ano ang ginagawa ng isang tao sa mall malamang. We ate, shopped and watched a movie. What do you expect?"
"And?" He raised his brows at me.
"And what?"
"What did you feel? May nararamdaman ka ba after mo siyang makasama?"
"Why are you asking me that? Of all the people who'll ask ng mga ganyang questions, I'll never expect na tatanungin mo ako ng ganyan."
"I was just asking kung ano ang naramdaman mo. Yun lang. Is that question too hard?"
"Eto na, sasagutin ko na. I didn't feel anything at all. Wala."
"Ulol. You're denying it pa. Ilang years na tayong magkasama so there's no escape from me."
"Ano ba dapat ang isagot ko? That I really felt something? My heart tugged when I put my arms around her and it seems like I can't control its heartbeat? Yun ba gusto mong marinig?" I blurted out. Shock is written on Jeron's face right now.
"Why did you put your arms around her? Isn't that a little awkward for the both of you?"
"Dude, she's wearing a muscle tee and a pair of shorts. She's freezing so I had no choice but to put my arms around her. Ewan ko ba kay Ara at sinuot niya yun. Guys were staring at her and it pissed me off awhile ago."
"I get your point. Pero kanina you got pissed off when guys were staring at her?" I nodded. "Thomas, you're acting as if you're Ara's boyfriend."
I took a sip on my drink. Napaparami na yata ako. "I am not. I was just being nice to her. And I don't know but there's a part of me na nagsasabing I need to protect her at all times."
"Bro, I thought you moved on already."
"I moved on. I already moved on. What makes you say na hindi pa ako nakakapagmove on?"
"The way you talk about her; I can really feel that you still have feelings for her. It seems like you would never stop loving her." I laughed in disbelief. Why is he saying these things right now?
"Are you crazy? I would not pursue someone if I still have feelings for Ara. Will you please stop saying that I am still in love with my ex?"
"I shouldn't have set you up with Denden. Lalo ka tuloy nahihirapan."
"Jeron, will you please stop? I am fine with my life. I am contented with Denden. Yun naman ang gusto niyo; to see me with someone so I won't suffer anymore. She makes me happy and I like her. Hindi pa ba enough yun? And now you're telling me that you shouldn't have set up the blind date with Den?"
"You are contented. But I know na may kulang. Admit it, Thomas. Yes, I've seen you being happy with Denden but I realized that you were in your happiest self when you're with Ara."
"Just stop. What's your problem? Nalilito na kasi ako. Botong-boto ka sa akin noon kay Den and ngayon you're pushing me once again to Ara? Ano ba talaga?" I'm furious right now. Naguguluhan na ako kung anong gustong iparating ni Jeron sa akin. The alcohol is getting into me. I can feel it.
"One question. Answer it honestly."
"What the hell, man? Are we in school that I need to answer lots of questions? Spill it already."
"Do you still love her?" He asked that question.
"That's just a simple question. I still love her. No matter what I do to forget her, wala pa ring effect. Ilang beses kong pinilit na burahin siya sa isip ko, wala pa rin. And the time when I saw her in the park and she's soaking wet, that's the time I knew na mahal ko pa rin siya. Pero alam mo yung hindi na kayo pwede ulit? Kasi I have someone na. And I think na meron na ring nagmamahal sa kanya. I thought my heart is fixed already. Pero tama nga sila na once a thing is broken, it can never be the same anymore. Pwede mo pang maayos pero hindi na siya magiging kagaya noon. Fuck that thing called destiny." The effect of alcohol is rushing into me that I myself can't control the words I'm saying right now.
"Why don't you fight for it? Did she even tell you the reason why she left a long time ago?"
"How many times do I have to tell you na hindi na nga pwede! Wala na nga. Hindi ganun kadali yun. She didn't tell me why she left me. And that's another reason. I won't risk breaking my heart again by the same girl."
"That's what you told me a few months ago."
"It's so scary to know the truth. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko kung malalaman ko ang totoo from her. I don't want to get hurt. I don't want someone to get hurt." Ayaw kong masaktan si Denden because of me. Ayaw kong makasakit.
"Pain and risks, hindi naman mawawala sa love yan. Ano yun? Happy lang walang ending?"
"I'm too tired to get hurt and take risks. I'm just tired. Lalo na kung nauwi lang sa wala ang mga yan."
"Sa ginagawa mo, you're missing out. Once you found out the truth why Ara left you, I hope that you won't regret your decisions."
"So ano ka na ngayon? Team Ara ka na ulit?" I laughed. Naiinis na kasi ako. Naguguluhan din. Halo-halong emosyon ang nararamdaman ko ngayon.
"I'm not teaming up with someone. I'm just telling you na I hope you won't regret your decisions talaga."
"Dinaig mo pa ang sirang plaka. I won't regret it. I'm telling you. Bakit hindi mo na lang sabihin sa akin ngayon kung bakit niya ako iniwan para matapos na? It seems like you know the truth already. Bakit kaya ako hindi ko pwede malaman?"
"Honestly, hindi ko talaga alam. And I don't have the right to tell you. Si Ara ang dapat magsabi sa'yo."
"Ang gulo mo. Whatever it is, hindi naman magbabago ang decisions ko."
"I hope na hindi mo kakainin ang mga sinabi mo."
"I won't."
I don't know kung ilang baso na ang naiinom ko. I don't care kung lasing na lasing na ako. I want to forget reality for a while. Gusto kong kalimutan ang sinabi sa akin ni Jeron. I'm frustrated and nasasaktan rin ako kasi lahat ng sinabi ni Jeron ay totoo. And I am more frustrated when he doesn't want to tell me the truth. Bahala siya sa buhay niya.
But damn it, I can't stop thinking about Ara.
--
Did you guys miss me? Charot! Huhuhuhu. Sorry kung napakatagal bago ako nakapag-update ulit. Medyo naalog ang utak ko dahil sa accounting! Hahahaha. Anyways, Christmas break naman so dapat tayong mag-enjoy. Merry Christmas once again, guys! Mahal ko kayong lahat. Mwah.
Ayan ah, revelation na yan. Ganyan ko kayo kamahal at masaya pa rin ako sa pagkapanalo ng BGSM nung 25. Lol. Okie bye. Ayaw ko na magnobela.
Don't forget to comment and vote! (Pero gusto ko talaga comment kasi nag-eenjoy ako sa mga reactions niyo hahahahaha)