"Miss Martins..." Somebody was shaking me. "Miss Martins!" I opened my eyes and frowned at the sight in front of me. I was in a minibus with Nathan asleep against my shoulder and a woman I didn't know was looking at me expectantly as if I was supposed to know exactly who she was.
"Hmm... What's going on?" My voice sounded croaked.
"Welcome to Saint Anne's High School!" She said with a strong British accent and a huge smile.
"Hmm... Thanks but what are we doing there?" I asked her, feeling totally confused.
"Your parents have decided to send you and your brother here until your brother's done with his A-Levels..." She answered as if she thought I was silly for asking.
I must be dreaming, I thought.
"And would you mind telling me where Saint Anne's High is located exactly?" I tried to keep as calm as I could considering the circumstances but found it hard when she looked obfuscated.
She furrowed her eyebrows when I narrowed my eyes at her.
"You mean they sent you without telling you?" she exclaimed in disbelief. I clenched my teeth angrily.
"We're supposed to surprise friends by joining them for a long weekend in Greece..." I stated blankly.
"Oh my Goodness!" She exclaimed in a high-pitched voice with her hand on her chest. "Have the two of you really been in and out of juvie for the last two years?" She asked in a lower voice as if to make sure nobody could hear her.
I huffed.
"No, Miss, Nathan and I have never been to juvie..." I was literally seething now.
"I see..." She muttered, looking downright sad now. "Just to make sure, Bianca Martins is your mother, right?"
"That, she is..." I mumbled seconds away from breaking down in front of her.
How on earth was I going to explain our Mother's latest stunt to Nathan? He'd been so excited to surprise Leo in Greece and now I had to tell him that not only we weren't in Greece at all but that he'd probably never see Leo again or at least not before the end of the school year in...
Wait a minute!
"Where did you say Saint Anne's High School was?" I asked her again, feeling even more stupid this time.
"It's an hour away from Newcastle-Upon-Thyne in the North East of England..."She replied apologetically.
At least, she seems nice... I thought after nodding.
There wasn't much to say. Our mother was our legal tutor so if she'd decided to send us all the way to England, then there was nothing we could do about it.
My heart sank when I realized why she had taken our smartphones. She knew we'd try to contact Tyler, Owen or Leo - even Bryan, maybe - and she'd made sure we wouldn't be able to do so.
A thought occurred to me. Maybe we'd be able to find the Van Houten's landline number on the internet.
No way would they have their number available for anyone to contact them, I realized the minute after.
"Poppy?" The red-headed woman's voice brought me back to the present.
"I...I was just trying to find a way to contact some people back in the US..." I admitted, too exhausted to hide how desperate I was. "Maybe they'd talk some sense into her..." I added more to myself than to her.
"The thing is, Poppy, your mother's chosen our school because we're specialized in reforming delinquents. She's registered the two of you as red codes..." She paused. "Which means that you're not allowed to use any means of communication outside class..."
I frowned.
"I don't understand..." I muttered.
"It means no phones, no internet, no video games, no TV until you leave the school..." She studied my face for a long time as if she was pondering something.
"So what are we allowed to do?" I jumped when I heard Nate's broken voice. One glance at him and my heart sank at his crestfallen face.
"Art, music, drama, sports..." She listed. "We offer plenty of activities... Of course, we'll first have to catch you up on school..." She added and I scoffed through my tears.
"Nathan and I are good students, Miss..." I couldn't help but point out. "I can't believe she went that far..." I cried out angrily.
Nate huffed at that.
"Well, I can." He said. "Want me to go and get you a mirror so you can remember just how sick she is?!" He exclaimed and sniffled loudly.
"Are you saying that she's the one who did this?!" The lady looked outraged.
I sent a glare Nate's way.
"Sorry to burst your bubble, Sis, but I'm done with being nice or hoping she'll change..." My tears doubled when I heard his eerily cold voice.
"Don't give up, now..." I cried out. I sounded desperate because that was exactly what I was, desperate. I refused to see my brother become the shell of the bubbly, athletic boy he was because I hadn't been able to protect him properly.
"Pops!" He exclaimed after wiping some tears away with his hoodie's sleeve. "She's sent us on a one way trip to England..." He shouted. "She didn't even have the decency to tell us the truth. Instead, she made us believe we were going to join the others in Greece and then had us drugged so we'd be asleep until we got here..." He sniffled again. "Two days ago you went to the hospital after she beat you up... She's been lying to us for years about Dad, Bryan... I know she's our mother but I don't have it in me any more..."
"B-but..." I didn't want him to give up. I wanted him to believe that things would get better, that this was just a bad dream and that we'd wake up and laugh about how crazy it had been.
"Don't worry about me..." He added with the tiniest smile. "I may have lucked out with my parents but I have the best-est-est sister ever..."
Normally, this would have been enough to cheer me up a little but right now the hole in my chest was so big that I wasn't sure if I'd ever find a big enough patch to fix it all better.
When Tyler's handsome face popped into my mind and the realization that I'd probably never see him again before God knows how long, I finally broke down.
It was too much. Too much pain, too much anger, too much distance... TOO MUCH.
"Pops..." Nate sounded just as broken as I felt but I didn't have it in me to be the strong one and comfort him this time.
We'd lost too much.
Nathan would probably argue that Tyler and the Van Houten, or Leo for him, were the only things we'd really lost. He'd say that we'd never had a real mother in the first place and he'd probably be right, as well, but the hole in my chest was so painful that nothing could have cheered me up.
"Let me show you to your suite..." The lady who name we'd yet to learn, interrupted my thoughts.
"Our suite?" Nathan repeated in disbelief.
"That's the one thing your mother requested..." The red-headed woman replied. "For the two of you to share the same suite..." She paused, looking uncertain. "That won't be a problem, will it?"
"That's probably the only truth out of all the bull she told you about us..." Nate answered for the two of us. She didn't comment his statement, she simply nodded before gesturing for us to follow her into the stone castle-like building that loomed above us like some medieval prison.
The wooden door opened on a dim hall where the only light came from an ancient-looking chandelier that cast creepy shadows on the dark colored-walls. I shivered when we walked past a series of hundred-year-old portraits whose eyes seemed to follow us.
Nate must have had the same impression because he slipped his hand in mine. At the end of the hall, the lady opened a small door that led to an even darker corridor. We passed four doors on each side of us before reaching a wooden staircase which creaked whenever we stepped on a new step.
"This is our students' wing..." She said, gesturing to the long and wide corridor in front of us. "There are forty rooms in total. We added an extra bed and desk in yours so you could both fit in it." She added as she opened the door of the oldest-looking bedroom I'd ever seen.
It was quite spacious with a high ceiling, tall and narrow windows with thick velvet and lace curtains and maroon and beige tapestry on the walls.
The room had been divided into two sides, each comprising a small single bed, a tiny bedside table with a lamp, a desk and a chair along with a small wardrobe.
"All our rooms are en-suite." She opened a door and revealed a recently renovated white and brass shower room and a toilet. "I'll let you unpack..." She finally said pointing to our bags that somebody had obviously carried upstairs for us. "Your laptops and electronic devices have already been confiscated..." We didn't have the time to comment her last statement not only because she was already gone by the time we both realized what she'd just told us but also because as soon as the door was closed, the familiar noise of a key being turned into a lock echoed from where she'd just disappeared.
We didn't even bother checking the door, we knew she'd locked us in the room.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
After that, I cried myself to sleep into Nate's arms every night for weeks.
Roles had been reversed since we were in England. I knew my brother needed me, probably more than ever before, but it was as if all fight had left me. I went through the motions without really processing what was happening to us.
We hardly ever saw the other students. Classes were taught in very small groups of two or three and when they saw that I didn't need the extra help they were giving every other students or pupils, like Mrs. Maunders said, they just let me work on my own.
Weeks turned into months. I would have missed my birthday if Nate hadn't brought me a cupcake with a single candle when we met in our room at the end of the day. I didn't even ask him where he got it. We simply shared it in silence the way we did most things those days.
I barely realized we were now a few days away from Christmas. I didn't have any gifts for Nathan anyway since we weren't allowed to leave our rooms except to go to class.
We were having breakfast in the common room when Mrs. Maunders came to our table.
"Good morning!" She said in that syrupy voice of hers that tended to get on my nerves more days than not.
"Good morning, Miss Maunders..." Nate and I answered without her enthusiasm.
"Now that school is out for two weeks, it's only going to be you, Sam and Ginger over there." She motioned to two kids who looked a couple of years younger than me. "They are not as quiet as you are but both of them have been with us long enough to be trusted..." She went on and I furrowed my eyebrows, having no idea what she was getting at. "So I thought I'd allow you to go into town to make some purchases since you'll all be spending Christmas here..."
"Awesome!" Nathan exclaimed in front of me. I would have loved to share his excitement but Christmas shopping was the least of my worries.
Look at how selfish you are! I chided myself. Your little bro has literally carried you for weeks now and when you're given the opportunity to spend some time with him outside this prison, you just moan! Things would never have worked out with Tyler anyway. He was way out of your league! I told myself.
"It sounds good..." I managed to mutter with a fake smile.
"Great." The redhead answered cheerfully. "We'll leave at nine thirty." She added before walking away from our table, her high heels clicking loudly in the empty room.
We left the school in her family car at nine thirty on the dot. One thing we'd learnt with Nate was that whatever Miss Maunders said she'd do, she always followed through. Not that we'd got to see her bad side, she had yet to raise her voice at either of us, but we'd witnessed other kids try and test the water with her and all of them had got exactly what she'd promised, be it a detention or a week locked in the seclusion room.
She was so different from our mother I sometimes wished she was our Mom and I'd seen Nate look at her with a longing in his expression that told me that he did too. She may be tough and seem cold at first sight but a warm smile lit up her face whenever a pupil achieved something.
"You're ok?" Ginger, who had curly blond hair asked me. I was sat in the middle of the back seat between her and Nate who, like me, had been looking through the window since we'd left the school property. It was the first time we got a chance to see what the North of England was like, or at least the town St Anne's was located in.
I nodded, hoping she'd get the hint that I wasn't in the mood to talk.
"I'm Ginger..." She clearly didn't.
"Poppy..." I muttered blankly and I winced at how rude I was being so I immediately added, "I'm sorry..." I sighed. "I just don't feel like talking..."
"Rumors say you think you're too good for us..." She went on, apparently not bothered either way.
"I'm not good enough for my own mother..." I interjected without thinking. "So I don't see how I could be too good for anyone, really." I had to blink back the tears that threatened to escape after my outburst. That was another reason why I didn't want to engage with other pupils. Not only didn't I want to get attached and lose them but making friends meant letting them in and talking about the reason for our presence there was far too painful.
"Oh..." She gasped, having clearly not expected this type of reaction from me.
Oh well, I thought. At least it shut her up. I blinked and blinked, praying the tears would stay put. Nathan must have felt my disarray because he slipped his hand in mine and squeezed it twice.
Neither Sam nor Ginger approached us after that. Part of me was glad but another part wondered if Nate wouldn't benefit from making friends. In the end, I brushed the thought off as quickly as it had come, reasoning that if Nate had wanted to get to know them, he'd have talked to them in the car.
Miss Maunders had driven us to a shopping center that looked oddly similar to the one we used to go back home and my heart sank when we walked past a Tommy Hilfiger shop sporting a huge American flag in its window.
We were in a shop called Top Shop / Top Man when I caught sight of a nice wooly jumper that I knew Nate would like. I thought of going to get him to make sure I had picked the right size but thought it would spoil the surprise so went with my intuition and paid for it with my card.
I was waiting for the shop assistant to wrap it up when he came up behind me.
"I was thinking..." I frowned at his uncertain tone. "There's an internet café at the end of this floor. I could try and email Leo..."
I stared at him blankly. Miss Maunders had given us two rules. We had to behave as we would at school, which meant we were still not allowed to use any electronic devices amongst other things and we had to be back at the car at eleven thirty.
"It's just that..." He started but lowered his gaze sadly. "I miss him..." I immediately wrapped my arms around him.
"I know..." I muttered, and Boy did I know!? Tyler's blue eyes flashed in my mind and I started crying in silence right in the middle of the shop.
We stayed like that until an old lady came to ask us if we were ok, reminding me of where we were. I draped my arm around his shoulder and guided him to a coffee place that sold the most beautiful cupcakes I'd ever seen.
"How about we go and eat a couple of those yummy-looking monsters?" I suggested, hoping he'd agree.
He did so we entered the small place and headed to the counter where a man took our extravagant order wordlessly.
We ate no less than three cupcakes and a huge hot chocolate with marshmallows each and went to walk around other shops until it was time to go.
That Christmas was the saddest we'd ever had. We went to the local church Christmas service with Ginger, Sam and Miss Maunder and I surprised myself by praying that God I didn't know to help us out of this hellhole our mother had put us into.
The only bright side was that Nate liked his jumper. He went a bit over the top when he jumped into my arms to thank me - It was only a jumper after all – but I was glass to see him happy nonetheless.
On Boxing Day, Miss Maunders brought each of us some stockings full of chocolates and other bits and pieces. I almost cried when she knocked at our door with the little red and green socks with cute white reindeers embroidered onto them.
We spent the following days walking around the school grounds. We'd read most books the library had to offer and I was saving those I'd bought during our trip to the shopping center for the nights when sleep wouldn't come as it often happened.
Ginger and Sam sometimes came along and we played soccer or basketball until it got too cold to stay outside.
Three days before the end of break, we decided that it was high time we did our homework. Not that we had heaps of them but we both had a couple of essays due the following Monday that would require to go to the library and that was the only place in the school that totally creeped the two of us. Hence, the last minute' rush.
We waited for the almost white winter sun to be high enough to shine some light through the narrow windows of the otherwise gloomily dark room and made sure to settle down on the table that was the nearest to the tall dark colored wooden doors.
I first helped him find the books he'd need and we then went to look for mine together, jumping whenever the old wooden beams that supported the high vaulted ceiling cracked above us.
We were relieved when we finally got back to our table and immediately began our research.
The quickest we'd be done the quickest we'd get out of there. I wouldn't be able to explain why we were so ill at ease in that library. I knew we must have looked pretty dumb whenever we ventured there but to be honest we didn't care what people thought of us.
We left our books on the table to go and get the packed lunch the school's cook left in front of our room every day and went back to the library where we resumed working with our sandwich in our hands.
We'd been working for a couple of hours when I thought I heard some people shouting.
I briefly wondered whether I should go and see what was going on. Nate must have thought the same because he sent me a questioning glance.
"Probably some student who's not so happy to be back..." I muttered before looking down on my book again.
We both jumped when the shouting seemed to come from right outside the library and our eyes grew wide when we finally heard what they were saying.
They were looking for us.