When I woke up, I awoken at 6:38. I yawned loudly and saw that my door was broke down. I gasped and put my hands over my mouth in surprise and fear. What happened yesterday when I was asleep? I jumped off my bed and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, shower and comb my hair. When I was finished, I got out the bathroom and ran downstairs. 7:15, read the clock, but I ignored that and went into the kitchen. On my way there, I saw the livingroom a mess. Oh my lord! I quickly ran into the kitchen and poured frosted wheats into a bowl and made english muffins. I smeared butter on the muffins before putting them on the table for father. I went back to the livingroom and saw everything was clean. What in the devil's name?! It was just now dirty, rubbish everywhere! I rubbed my eyes before focusing my gaze on the place again. Oh my mother...it was still clean. How was it dirty before and now suddenly clean.
I went back into the kitchen to see if someone's here or someone broke into the house because father would never clean up his mess or any mess except the dishes. When I got there, the bowl of cereal was gone. "What in the blasting's name!" I yelled, pulling at my hair. I looked around, but the place was empty and dead silent. I quickly made new english muffins and poured frosted wheats in a bowl and was about to set them on the table, but then suddenly the bowl of cereal and frosted wheats from before were there. "What the..." I whispered. I quickly headed to the livingroom to look if it turned back to normal, but to my surprise, it was still clean. "Who's messing with me?" I asked myself before going back into the kitchen.
I set the bowl of cereal and the plate of english muffins on the opposite side of the table. "Mm...I like what I see." I quickly turned around in shock. I saw Dyson there with a smirk. Yes, you have guess right, he is indeed my "old bae." I quickly moved back in fear, but he said, "No need to be scared. I've changed." He got closer, extending his arms to give me a hug, but I yelled while pointing to the door, "Get out of my house! Father's home, if he sees you, he'll kill the both of us!" He smirked some more before saying, "I did miss your beautiful accent, but not only that. I also missed you." I felt my face get red as I continued to yell, "If you don't get out, then I'm going to phone the cops!" He laughed and said, "Who still says phone instead of call?" I blushed more red in embarrassment.
I pointed to the door again causing him to shrug and say, "See you in school then." Oh my mother! If this is what love makes people into, then I don't want any part of it!
He left making me sigh in relief and go back into the kitchen to see if father's food was still there and indeed it was. At least he left the food this time.
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When I got to school, not getting a beating because I left early while father was still asleep...actually I snuck out to be honest. I looked around the school, but no one was looking at me.
Good.
I quietly and quickly walked to homeroom, keeping my head down, making sure that no one sees or recognizes me.
"Is that you, Rebecca?" Someone asked in a girly voice making me walk quicker in the opposite direction. I looked up to make sure that no one was looking at me because of that foolish girl, but instead I was headed right for someone in full speed before..."Emph!" I rubbed my head after the unknown specimen and I collided into each other. He got up and helped me up. I moved back in fear. He's so sexy! He has to be a bully because the hot ones are the mean ones.
"Don't be afraid, I don't bite unless you want me to." He said in a flirtatious voice before biting his lip. I instantly opened my mouth a little and titled my head. He's so...hot...and that voice! Oh my mother! He smiled and said, "My name's Noah, but you can call me some other sexy name." I giggled before saying, "My name is Rebecca, but you can call me Becca...well, my dog is named Becca, so it'll be kind of awkward, but...just call me Becky or--"
"I'll call you mamas," He cut in making me instantly blush red. "I love your accent by the way." He told me with a smile. "I love your...face?" I awkwardly replied since I didn't really know what to say back. "Thanks. I get it from my mom, but mostly my dad. Where do you get your beautiful one? Do tell." He asked with a smirk, saying the last part in my accent. I giggled again, but then when I remembered his question, my smile faded. "I don't know how my mother looks, she died 4 years ago, and my father, I rather not look like...he's not...nevermind." I answered, tears stinging my eyes.
His smirk fell. "Oh my gosh, that's so sad. And...don't worry, my pops is hard on me, too." He says with a nervous laugh. "He beats you, too?" I asked a bit too excitingly, but not because he beats me, but because we have so much in common. "...No...he just yells at...me...wait, your pops beats...you?" He asked hesitantly. I quickly kept my mouth shut, in fear that I may say something that I would most definitely regret later.
"It's alright, you don't have to answer me if you don't want to...so...let's hangout sometime, kay?" He asked before walking away. He didn't even wait for me to answer...how hot...
I sighed while tilting my head, looking at him walk away. I looked around to see if we drew any attention and trust me, it'd be an understatement to say that it was dead silent and everyone was looking at me.
"Am I dead, or did one of the most popular guy's in the school flirt with Rebecca?" One girl said.
"I need new glasses because I don't think that I saw correctly."
"Damn, Noah is sexy as fuck!"
I looked around as the chatter got louder. Well, this is my cue to either run or walk quickly away, but instead something in my mind told me to run, which I gladly did. I heard them angrily follow me, yelling curses at me and making fun of me.
"No way that Noah is that dumb! He's a grade A student!"
"Noah talked to this bitch, but not me?! Wow, this bitch is so dead!"
"Someone grab her with her smell ass!"
"Noah senpai--notice me for crying out loud and not that bitch!"
The angry chatter got louder as they drew closer and closer to me. I picked up the speed, but I was already running fast, so I don't see how running quicker would help.
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I found out that Noah has a class with me, and it's not that he's a teacher's pet, but the teacher loves him. Not like love love, but like loves his work. Makes two, huh mate?
When school was over, I got chased all the way to the bus stop but to my luck, the bus came so everyone got onto it and since I don't take the bus, I got to walk the way peacefully home. How this day has been a total horror on my behalf.
As I was walking, feeling the lovely spring breeze hit my face with every passing second, I thought about mum. I do miss her a bunch and wish that I could see her face again one day. Before father started to get the way he is now, he used to always tell me that mum is in a better place now where she wouldn't have to feel pain anymore. Of course, later on, he found out himself that he was entirely wrong and that in fact he wants her back. Even though I feel the same way, I still take his old advice about how she is in a better place now where she feels no pain.
I know that when she was alive, she would always come home stressed from work and then father and her would fight about the little things that eventually turn major. Of course, I didn't know at the time that they were fighting since it's something they do all the time. I just thought that it was a routine.
As I continued to walk, taking my last turn because I board the public bus, I spotted Noah. My first instinct is to say hi or hello or even wave, but instead I stood silent as I neared him.
"Oh, hey Rebecca!" He greeted making me smile in reply. It's not that I don't want to talk or I'm furious, it's just that I have a lot of things on my mind and I don't really want to talk much. "How was your day?" He continued, but I shrugged while watching as the bus neared the stop.
I don't think that he thought anything of my small gestures because he nodded and got onto the bus when it came to a halt. I also got onto the bus, inserting my metro card before boarding. $5.78 Ugh, now I have to ask father for more fare. This day is just dreadful.
I took a seat next to Noah as he pulled out his phone and started to play a game. I watched intensely, never really ever playing games on my mobile phone. Well, mostly because father doesn't permit it. He says that it's a big waste of time and that it takes time away from my education, so in order not to get punished, I must obey.
Noah looked at me--from his game--smiling. "Wanna play?" He offered, still smiling. I shook my head no before staying silent and folding my hands in my lap. After some silence of him continuing to play and me watching, I admitted, "I'm not allowed to play such content. I would get in trouble with father if I did." He looked at me with worry as I said this. I guess that he paused his game because the screen went dark as he watched me silently.
"Y'know, becky. Uh, you don't have to follow the rules all the time. Your father isn't around now, so you can go on and live the way you want to live. Of course without getting caught." He told me, not changing his worried expression. I sighed as his words struck me like a dagger through my heart. What am I supposed to do if father ever finds out that I disobey him? Nothing. Absolutely nothing!
I nodded my head in understanding even though I don't actually agree. He is right about the fact that father won't find out and he's not around all the time, but he's wrong about living the way that I want to live. With father around I won't be able to do anything that I want until the day that I move out of that wretched house.
~
Before Noah finally got off the bus, he gave me his phone number and briefly stated, "Give me a call if you need anything and I'll be happy to sneak out of the house for you. Just know that I'm going to be there for you even when people in school don't want to. Just think of it as both of us being friends, alright?" And with that, he got off of the bus and vanished as the bus took it's leave.
Noah is a friend? What does that even mean? I never had a friend before because no one wants to be friends with the ugly and depressing girl who has a father that practically hates her and a mother who is dead and gone. Noah says that he'll be there for me, but can I even trust him enough to tell him any of my secrets? How about if he turns on me and starts to abuse or bully me? How about if he leaves me in the dust to become one with the wind, or how about if he thinks that my life is too dreadful that he can't even handle it so he leaves? I surely can't let him know about my mother or father. Surely, he may have a thought of just how much my father loves me from earlier today, but no one has ever told him just how bad it can get and no one ever will because he does not need to know.
Once my stop approached, the old woman sitting next to me got up as I was getting ready for my stop. I looked at her with a thank you smile and she returned it. "You are very beautiful young one." She told me in an accent similar to mines.
"Why thank you. You are quite kind yourself." I proceeded to answer with a warm smile. I got up, causing her to sit back down as I held the handle bars so that I don't fall as the bus moves. Weirdly, she didn't note my complement because she continued, "Now don't let anyone take that beauty away from you." And with that the bus came to a halt and my stop was now here.
"Thank you, ma'am. I surely won't." I replied before getting off of the bus. As the bus was leaving she was waving slightly her weak arm. I could see that she looked a bit pale with some of her grey hairs poking out here and there along with her light green eyes having some darker highlights in them. She is gorgeous for an old woman.
When I got home, father was on the couch looking at me. I guess that he was looking at the door because when I came in, he made no movements to look where I was for he was already doing so.
"Good afternoon father." I mumbled, fear already traveling through my body. He speechlessly looked at me, not changing from his angry expression. I choose to wait for any directions that he may want to give me, fearing that if I try to leave, I would get punished.
"Rebecca?" He finally called after a moment of him just looking at me.
"Yes father?" I answered back quickly. He gets up as I answer him back, but he doesn't approach me. Instead he walks over to the kitchen. I quickly follow him, fearing that he might be testing me to see if I am going to follow. "Why did you not greet me earlier today!?" He questioned, anger more stern in his voice. I slowly moved back, getting ready to run.
After I did not answer, he raised his voice more, "Huh!?" I looked behind me slightly and at the floor, planning my escape that doesn't end in my tripping and falling. "I-I'm sorry father, but I was very late." I lied trying to make sure that I don't get punished.
My palms started to sweat as he was approaching me, but I couldn't move my feet anymore. When he got to me, he smacked me on the face causing me to fall. That slap was very powerful knowing that father never holds back his strength when he deals with me. "You fucking liar! You would have not have been late just to say a greeting to me!" He yelled before he kicked me hard in my sides causing me to yell in agony.
"I'm sorry!" I yelled as he continued to kick me—hard—in the same spot. Now that is definitely going to leave a nasty bruise.
After a few more minutes of getting beaten, he cursed me out and walked away in a huff. I cried hard at this pain that I fell both mentally and physically. Why does he have to treat me like this every day!? He treats me like I'm some sort of stranger! I'm his daughter for fucks sake!
I get up slowly, but collapse back onto the ground, feeling weak everywhere. I sob into the cold kitchen floor as Becca came into the kitchen whining. She snuggle close to me, but I ignore her and cry harder. Father is all I got, but it's as if I never had him before. Surely he treats me like an enemy so I see him as one. Some say not to hate family, but when my abusive father is the only person I have left, what shall I do?
After a moment of crying, I gathered the rest of my strength and went upstairs before he chooses to come back downstairs. As I walked by his room, I saw him on the bed looking at a picture silently.
While sighing, I walk past his room. If he really missed her, then the only gift that she left over should be the thing that he values and not beats half to death! Fuck it all! Excuse my language but I am most furious at this whole situation! I get bruised and then after, he looks at mum with sadness when he is the one who brought more unnecessary pain my way!
Becca looked at me for a second before going into father's room. I understand that she has to sleep there today so as to tell me when he wakes up so I choose not to complain.
When I get into my room, I look at the phone number that Noah gave me. Shall I phone him and tell him what happened...no! Never! He mustn't know!
I sigh and insert his contact into my phone, but I have a little bit of trouble since I never inserted a phone number into my mobile phone. When I got my phone, father and mother's contact was already inserted into it. Of course when mother passed I never deleted her number, hoping that one day when father caused me great pain, she would call me and talk to me sweetly. Never happened, but it's worth the effort. Sometimes I call her number just to hear her voicemail. Her beautiful voice...so close yet so far.
Once I entered Noah's number, I decided not to call him so as not to disturb him. Surely he doesn't want to hear about my miserable life so as to ruin his most cheerful day. I looked at the clock. 5:15pm. Wow time flies knowing how much pain can be brought upon you.
"Rebecca! Come here, now!" Father's voice barked, causing me to quickly hop out of bed, forgetting all about my injuries. I limped into his room as fast as I could, watching as he was looking at the ground.
"Yes, father?" I asked while Becca looked at me with fret in her eyes.
"Come sit next to me." He commanded, causing me to approach him with fear. I sat down and folded my hands in my lap calmly.
"I love you. Don't forget that. No matter how foolish you are and how much I pounce on you, it's all out of love. You're all I have sadly, so I have to accept that and deal with it." He announced, but I didn't think nothing of it knowing that he has this meaningless speech with me twice a month.
"Okay!?" He asked in a menacing manner after I didn't say anything. I quickly looked up at him in shock. "Y-yes father! I love you too!" I quickly said, causing him to sigh. "Why must I yell before you answer me?" He calmly asked rhetorically. I sighed before he hugged me tightly. I hugged back instantly in fear that if I didn't, I would get punished.
When the hug was gone, I looked at Becca who was smiling and wagging her tail. Too bad she does this--every time he has this speech--in hopes of change when it never comes.
"Now go on and do what you do, but make sure not to upset me. I am far too stressed! Also don't forget to make supper before you do what you need to do!" He commanded causing me to nod and reply, "Yes father." He got up, leading me to the door.
Before I left, I felt his hand stop me. I turned around to look at him. "I love you." He said to me before tears fell from his eyes.
"I love you too." I croaked half meaning it. He is all I have so there has to be some love, am I right?
He smiled at me, causing me to smile. "You smile just like your mother." He added causing my smile to fade into sadness. I miss her so much. After a moment, I asked, "May I please be excused to prepare supper?" He nodded his head yes before going into the room and closing the door softly. I sighed in relief that I went another month of father's regretful stage--that only happens twice a month--without getting beaten.
I prepared supper of mashed potatoes and gravy with a side dish of salad and baked bread before going to father's room to call him. After he told me that he'd be down in a minute, I went back downstairs and back into the kitchen. I sat down on the chair and prayed to mum. I told her everything that happened today and how I finally got a new friend named Noah. I wonder how long our friendship will last before I get on his nerves and he leaves me forever.
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Sorry for this book being so depressing, but that's her life and you need to know that. Anyways, I hope that it wasn't boring because I put effort into it. These days, I felt like a bad writer even though that may not be true. It's just that I get more and more into writers block, so sorry about the slow updates. I'll continue to update chapters from "Never The Same" once I edit the already completed chapters. This story isn't completed already which is the reason why it's a bit slower. Anyways, don't forget to comment, vote, share, add and stay tuned. Thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next. --Lovely_girl_writer <333