"We have to take the elevator up to Pride, and then transfer to the pit line to get out of here," I said to Blake as we walked through Greed.
"The 'pit line'? I'm going to be very literal and assume you guys have a giant pit at one end of it."
"The only end, really. There's three elevator lines, one between floors, one that splits the place into thirds, and then... one to the pit. We have to take it to Earth."
"You know that you have to tell me a little more than that."
"There's two Earths."
"Fantastic," Blake said, pulling a face like he had long come to accept everything weird about Hell.
"One Earth is in the present, where we are. Heading up to the surface brings you there. It's also where Heaven is, and is entirely desolate."
"Now, that's not quite the Earth I know and love, but okay. What level of desolate do you mean? Post-apocalyptic wasteland or scattered, archaic ruins death zone?"
"There's no one left but the trees and angels," I explained. "Which is why we need to jump through a rift at the bottom of the pit. It'll take us to the Earth you're from- the past, stuck on a nineteen year cycle. At the end of which- about a week from now, actually- the Earth resets again."
"Can you maybe offer some reasoning as to why this is a thing? What went wrong?"
"Hell doesn't know why the cycles exist. There's been nine of them, but... most of how they work, or why they exist, is a mystery. Still, Earth is there, and that's where we want to go."
"Well, what happens after the end of the cycle?"
"Like I said: full reset. Everyone goes back in time to May fifth, nineteen years previous. No one remembers but the demons."
"You know, it's weird how I'd just about accepted Hell for everything it was, hellfire and office culture and the like. But suddenly you throw this curveball at me and I'm like- well, you toss me into a supernatural world and then present me with something sci-fi. Little off balancing!"
"There's not much technological about it."
"Still! Time travel!"
"Just... time."
"Ugh."
We came to the lobby area of Greed and I tapped the button for the executive elevator. I guess not working for Kell meant I should have seceded my right to use this thing, but man, I was too much of a sucker for glitz to do that.
Blake gave a nervous wave to the doorman. "Hey."
He was a frightening looking guy, I guess, the type who kept all of his non cumbersome demon bits exposed, meaning he had a soft green hue to his skin and three sets of jagged horns. His tongue was white and his teeth were like those of a deep sea fish.
Still, he looked silly in his golden buttoned and tasseled uniform. I'd never actually spoken with him before, but I'd grown fond of how the dull green scales on his hands contrasted with his bright red clothes.
"Don't speak to him while he's working." I batted Blake's hand out of the air as I took my customary place in the center of the shining elevator, back straight.
"Just trying to be polite." Blake nervously looked at the doorman, who continued to be an absolute professional and stand by the door.
The elevator stopped at Lust, and I moved over for whoever to get inside. However, no one came, and the doorman was keeping the doors wide open.
"Pride." I reminded. "Not Lust."
The doorman nodded sadly.
Blake, meanwhile, peered outside. "There's something going on down the hall, like a huge crowd is gathered and there's two of those big wolf demons."
"Oh god. Hellhounds." I looked out and confirmed my suspicions. "Come on. It's a security checkpoint. We have to pass through and take the next elevator up. Might as well walk to Pride from here."
Several hundred people, more than I'd ever seen hang out in the inter-level passage beyond rush hour in Pride, were waiting in a haphazard line that filled the entire width of the hall. Taller than everyone were two hellhounds, who sat on either side, tails whipping about. Just in case.
This was going to take hours, but until everyone was through, there was no way around it. I wondered who they were expecting to catch? Hell had a pretty low rate of violent crime, so it had to be someone interesting.
"Is this going to be a problem?" Blake asked. "My uh, whole thing?"
"Probably not, but I don't have my ID on me. I can probably get through if I... if this wasn't such a high level search I could probably get us through on word alone, but two hellhounds probably means they're out for a murderer. Maybe a serial killer! Hell hasn't had a good one of those in a long time."
"You sound a little too psyched about that."
"Besides the killing bit, it is all good fun." I reached into my pocket and brought out the angelsword. "As long as it's obvious I'm not threatening them, this thing should solve all our problems. Except you being human."
"Wasn't I already slated to die in a few days? What could they possibly do to me?"
"Actually kill you in a few days?"
"Right."
"Stick with me. and you should be fine." I started making my way through the crowd, scooting through the thicket of people. A little bit into what felt like a jungle- man, I was short- I realized I had left Blake somewhere behind.
I turned around and found him at the end of the line. "Let's just wait, politely, like lawful citizens."
"With this ring, I can basically claim to be anything I want and people will move right over. You're not from here-"
"Be quiet about that-"
"-So you don't really get how freaked out everyone is by the angels. You could sell an angel's shirt to someone for a bundle of cash just for them to burn."
"I'm also scared of crowds."
"Agoraphobia?"
"More like claustrophobia."
"In that case, suck it up kid. This isn't a dark enclosed tunnel."
He stared at me flatly.
"Well at least it's well lit!" Blake didn't seem amused, so I frowned and grabbed his hand, pulling him forward into the crowd. I had no problem pushing people aside to make my way towards the checkpoint, ignoring their judgmental gazes, but Blake kept apologizing with his head down.
When I got maybe two lines of people away from the gate, a security guard split the line and walked up to me. "End of the line. No exceptions."
I showed the ring, which I had suitably slipped onto my ring finger. "I have to deliver this to Kell. And you do know what this is, right?"
The guard cooly turned her head, and then looked back to me. Before I could react, she slipped the large ring off my finger and held it in her palm. "In that case, I'll bring it to him. Back of the line to you." She walked back through the checkpoint.
"Is he there? Tell him Mannie could use his help! And that he likely owes me one!" I called after her, while I could feel Blake tugging on my arm to turn around.
I let him drag me back to the end of the line. "We'll just wait. Like normal civilians of Hell, which is what both of us are." He was obviously blushing, and still pretty clammy from the whole ordeal.
The line moved pretty fast, meaning they were most likely just checking bags and ID. Still, the crowd was thick, and it was absolutely going to be over an hour before we got anywhere. I passed time by kicking at the slightly sandy floor and thinking up ways to get through.
"Kell's boyfriend runs Lust," I said. His name was Kelsey, and Kell wasn't really dating him. They'd been together for years previously though, and were still best friends. Due to Kell's habit of thoughtlessly describing to me his love life, I knew they were still a little bit more than that.
"What do you guys even do in, er, 'Lust'?"
"Manage and report sales."
"Which is...? You should know better than to leave me hanging like this."
"Soul selling. Kelsey doesn't like me, but if we get him, he can get me to Kell..."
"And how are we supposed to get to him? Just give it up and wait. We're nearly there, and we can ask to call Kell's office or something to get approval to go through."
I kicked at the wall, trying to see if I could dislodge a tile with the edge of my shoe. I surveyed the crowd again, seriously not willing to wait another hour. "Can you hold my spot?"
"How about you just sit still?"
"You're still supposed to be obeying my orders." I scurried through the crowd again, and looked for something that might help. After only a minute of searching, I gave up, and went back to Blake.
As I was walking dejected back to where he was standing, I saw a familiar shade of green emerging from the elevator. The moment I confirmed it was Sydney, my face fell. Hers seemed to rise with elation.
"Mannie, my mischievous miniature... oh, I don't know. Minesweeper? Minivan? What's this mess about?"
"Se-" Blake started to say.
Sydney laughed rudely. "Just kidding! I'm the one who called for it." She winked with more zest than most people wink with. "See you dudes later."
"Can you get us past this? I'm in a hurry."
"Oh dear." She turned around, and just from her saccharine voice alone I knew she wasn't going to be of much use. She gripped both my shoulders with nails like claws. "Do you remember what the last thing I said to you was?"
I kept quiet, waiting for her to finish her own hypothetical.
She kept staring at me.
"I want an answer here."
"Don't be a such a bitch." I groaned.
She immediately retreated her hands, and scoffed. "Bitch? Do you even know know how problematic and demeaning to women that is? I'm offended now. I'm not letting you through now for certain, as you have truly bested me with your snappy remarks and vaguely sexist language." She laughed, and walked off.
"What's her problem?" I huffed. "I barely know her!"
"Some people are a little off. It's best to not provoke them."
"She's the only who was provoking me."
"I know."
I watched as Sydney easily parted the crowd and passed through security, and resigned to my fate of waiting. No one else was particularly happy around us either, and some were using this time to bond, chatting every so often about how inconvenient this was.
It wasn't like there was a deadline to me getting to Earth, but since I now had this human in tow, later probably was better.
Waiting is awful, though. Half an hour passed, and we shuffled forward. Finally, at a point where my mind had receded into only apathetic thoughts of dirt and floor panels, Kell happened along from our side, emerging from the elevator like Sydney had. He walked calmly forward as people moved aside for him, and when he failed to notice me, I lightly tapped on his shoulder when he passed by.
"Oh."
"Can you let us through?" I said, feeling like I was begging.
"You're nearly there already." He scratched at his neck. "And besides, aren't you supposed to be out of my hair?"
"Soon." I looked down, more ashamed than I should have been. Something about needing anything from anybody made me upset. Needing something from Kell especially made me feel even more pathetic. He was the type of guy many people needed many things from, and my constant desire to be important demanded I not be one of them.
"Here," He said, briefly grabbing my forearm before letting go. The actual physical contact made me more light headed than it should have been. I don't know, I tended to get weird around Kell.
Kell brought us through the checkpoint in the same amount of time that it took him to walk through. Just a wave of his hand and some steps on our behalf, and it was done.
"Are you okay, Mannie? You look sick."
"I'm fine." I was having a hard time meeting his gaze. He had the nicest, greenest eyes too, which made looking at him all the worse. Oh god, was I blushing? Was that noticeable? I was probably a lot paler than I should've been from these years in Hell, and I hoped I hadn't reached the point where my blush was a serious pink.
"Good luck then." Oh man. He grabbed my shoulder lightly, and smiled, though I saw it fall as he turned around and walked away.
It wasn't like I had a crush on him, or anything as dumb as that. That'd be stupid. Sex is gross. I don't want it. Kissing disgusts me too, especially when tongues get involved. And bodies are so sweaty, and hairy, and... gross.
Kell was just nice to me, and treated me kindly, and he was a super cool guy I guess. And a terrible bastard, and an asshole.
But you know. A friendly guy. The sort you wanted to like you.