Bright light blinding my eyes, a light summer breeze sending shivers down my spine, I looked around; beacons of light touching every inch of the ground, painting the sky in beautiful shades of yellow, rose and purple. The sound of the current of the river underneath my feet was barely recognizable through the murmuring crowd that was standing on the bridge, regarding something I couldn't see, yet.
Perhaps I didn't want to see it, didn't want to be that curious. But just like a moth was attracted to the light, an inner desire was pushing me towards the spectacle, reluctantly at first. And with each step I made towards the scenario, the noises of the crowd were getting louder and louder, penetratingly invading my ears. Some of them were silent sobs, some seemed to be in some kind of shock, covering their wide open mouths with their hands, their pupils dilated, while others were already trying to put the pieces together.
And eventually, I was able to make my way through the crowd, make my way to the one place everyone was observing so closely; in opposite to me who easily managed to find a way through this mess without catching anyone's attention at all. To be honest, it was not really surprising, regarding the fact I was a dead man, simply strolling around earth like ghosts did occasionally. No one ever made a mess out of that. Well, except a few gifted people, who probably wouldn't name themselves like that but more less haunted.
Regardless from that, I eventually spotted what was keeping everyone in shock. And if I hadn't already been dead, my heart probably would have skipped a beat at that sight, instantly bringing back those old, painful memories.
There was a man laying on the cold concrete ground of the bridge. A tall, athletic man, pale face, with chestnut brown hair and a three day stubble, his clothes wet soaked while two other men were kneeling right next to his (seemingly) lifeless body, pressing their hands against his chest over and over again.
"C'mon", I could hear one of them, a paramedic, mumble under his breath, "Stay with me."
Tilting my head, I moved closer towards them, curious as I was. Until I eventually knelt down right next to the unconscious man, regarding him closely just like those annoying people I had always despised, the ones that were watching my accident, our accident like that.
With his eyes closed, he seemed to be so peaceful, like he was just asleep, taking a short nap. And as the paramedics continued resuscitating him, I started wondering whether this was what he wanted. Did he want to live? Live this life, each and every day?
Usually, you'd expect a simple answer like yes. But suddenly recognizing the gap in the barrier, I was no longer sure about that. Taking a step closer towards the edge, I eventually spotted the cause for this gap. A car, a grey Audi I suppose, was slowly sinking in the river, small bubbles of air reaching the surface as the vehicle sank deeper and deeper.
Maybe it was an accident. But maybe it was on purpose. Nobody knew and perhaps would never know.
Turning around, I instantly paused, feeling someone else's gaze locked on me. Looking around, I eventually saw him. A man, he was there, standing on the other side of the bridge, his eyes constantly focused on me and every move I made.
How was that possible? Did he really see me or was there something else he was regarding? Something behind my back, maybe? He couldn't be watching me, no, definitely not.
But as I continued walking around, I realized he was in fact observing me, his blue-greenish eyes never looking away.
Slowly feeling nervousness and anxiety (for whatever reasons at all) growing on me, I decided to walk away, leave this horrible planet, be with her, with them again.
Kate.
Grace.
Those two words, their names, and the wonderful sound they made in my head, were already enough to calm me down again. Because they were waiting for me. I knew, they were waiting for me. And within a heartbeat, I could be with them again, within the glimpse of a second.
But curiosity had somehow drawn me to this world, I couldn't completely let go of. Although, there was nothing left on this side that would have been worth my attention at all. Well, that sounded harsh, indeed, regarding the fact that my father and loving sister, my best friend and the woman who (somehow) managed to save my miserable life were still remaining on this side of the world. Not that they wouldn't have been worth to watch out; no, quite the opposite in fact. I loved them, each of them; even my father, albeit it was probably the weirdest and most complicated kind of love I had ever felt.
Uttering a sigh, I ran my fingers through my hair as I looked up to the colorful sky, watching the sun go down above the horizon, about to cover the world in the darkness of the night.
Yes, this world was beautiful. In its own and special way it was. And part of me would always miss this; friends and family, nature and its beauty. But that was nothing compared to the magical place I was now allowed to spend the rest of my so called life with the people I loved the most.
And not even the man that I could now regard closer, who was still observing me with his piercing eyes, could ever take that away from me. Standing there in the sunlight with his black suit and tie, and a white buttoned shirt, arms crossed in front of his chest.
I should have taken a deep breath. Should have taken a deep breath and walked away. Retrospectively, that has always been the best solution if I got angry. Yet, I still hadn't learned anything.
"Hey!", I yelled at him, clenching my fists as I quickened my pace, "What do you want? Has no one ever told you it was rude to stare at other people?"
Unimpressed as he was, he didn't even offer a slightest reaction to my words, simply remaining in his spot.
"Do you hear me?", I asked angrily, still walking towards him.
But he just blinked a few times before his gaze focused on the man who was still fighting for his life. And as I had almost reached him, already reaching out for him, he simply vanished, disappeared, making me pause immediately.
Where did he go? I didn't know.
Quickly looking around, I tried to find him. Desperately. But as much as I kept searching, he was nowhere to be seen.
"Robert!", a drawly voice rang in my ears like someone would have been standing right next to me, shouting at me.
Immediately, I ducked, trying to escape the voice that was now echoing in my head all over again, ringing in my ears. All I wanted was to escape this demanding voice that- eventually- brought me to my knees.
"Robert!"
Just like an echo, repeating all over again, slowly ebbing away.
I closed my eyes, internally praying for it to deceive, go away; covering my ears with my hands to shut everything out.
"Who are you?", I asked fearfully, trying to find him who had just scared the hell out of me, "What do you want from me?"
But as a new kind of pain- and by new I was talking about a completely different kind of pain than I've been used to. Not the mental pain I had definitely endured for too long during my past and painful life; and- although it was another sort of pain inside of my chest- it still felt different from my tumor pain. I didn't even really know how to explain, everything just felt so strange, unreal, new. In a negative way. It was simply-- Everything hurt. Starting in my chest but soon reaching into my toes. Everything hurt, every cell and every bone and every muscle of my body hurt; some kind of electricity constantly sending shocks through my veins.
And with the air around me getting thinner and thinner, less and less oxygen happened to find its way into my lungs until- eventually- I found myself lying on the ground, gasping for air with the last of my strength, begging for everything to finally stop and let me carry on.
But instead, the shrinking feeling inside of my chest only got worse. It felt like someone was jumping- yes, almost dancing- on my chest, like someone had dropped some weight, a heavy cross on my chest, leaving me up to my inevitable fate.
This feeling, this painful feeling, was nothing I hadn't already been used. Yet, an emotion I still didn't quite know how to deal with; especially now that I was almost paralyzed by the never ending pain. And in the end, although it probably didn't make any sense at all, I was just praying for it to stop, to finally let it all end and let me be with her, with them, again.
All of sudden (and just before I was about to eventually pass out) I recognized footsteps coming closer towards me, pausing right next to my head that was resting on the cold concrete pavement beneath me.
"P-please", I begged with the last of my strength, my voice weak and barely audible, "Help m-me."
But there was no answer. Just the remaining noises of the murmuring crowd a few feet away from me and the sound of someone breathing heavily, deep and heavy breaths.
And although I was no longer strong enough to actually look around or turn my head, I recognized how that someone was now kneeling down next to my head, probably still regarding me closely; surrounded by some strange kind of mysterious and powerful aura I had never sensed before. I was pretty sure it was the same man who had been watching me earlier, the same man who simply vanished right in front of my eyes, who somehow managed to see me.
"Please", I whimpered one last time before my voice failed eventually and my eyes, that had become way too heavy to keep open any longer, simply closed.
But he didn't reply. I could only hear his breath through the crowd although everything got duller and duller until almost everything had completely ebbed away, covering me in that uncomfortable silence, the weight on my chest getting almost unbearable. And suddenly, there was something else making its way through the fog that was surrounding me, some kind of-- warmth; right above my head, letting my hurting body relax until eventually, it was all gone.
There were no noises, no summer breeze, no current underneath the bridge, no warmth and (for the glimpse of a second) no pain. It was just nothing, everything was simply empty and I was all alone. Once again.
I didn't even know why but I wanted to scream. Scream at the top of my lungs to let anyone recognize me in my miserable situation to finally help me. But nothing happened. Not only did my voice totally fail but on the other hand, who should have heard me? There was no one here, so-...
Electric shocks sent all through my body, I suddenly started to scream in agonizing pain. My whole body tensing up, begging for it to deceive, to live in peace again.
"Please!", I yelled with tears in my eyes, "Make it stop! Please!"
But as I had already imagined, nobody could hear me crying, nobody even knew where or who I even was. Because I was alone, all by myself.
"P-please", I begged once more, arms wrapped around my hurting body, "I-I'm sorry, Kate. I'm so sorry."
And as fast as everything had started, it had already ended again, leaving nothing more than a metallic taste in my mouth and a dizzy head like I had been drinking for the last two weeks, a grating sound ringing in my ears, torturing me.
"Sir", I could hear someone's voice through the foggy darkness inside of my head, "Sir, can you hear me?"
Was he talking to me? How? How was that possible? Who was he?
"Sir! Sir, I need you to answer me!", he continued yelling, "Can you tell me your name?"
I gulped, inhaling the fresh and salty air that was already invading my lungs, leading to an episode of coughing like I was about to-- die? "R-Robert", I eventually managed to say whereby my voice was only slightly above a whisper.
"Good", the man replied with relief and I could almost sense him smiling, "That's good, Robert. Now listen to me, you've had an accident but you're in safe hands. Just stay with me, okay?"
An accident? No! No, that couldn't be. This must have been a mistake. A terrible, horrible mistake. I wanted to tell him. Wanted to tell him how wrong he was and that there was no way to possibly save me from whatever I needed to be saved from. But (once more) my voice was somehow stuck inside of my throat and none of my thoughts actually made it into words, leaving me up to another episode of drifting into the endless darkness of my mind.
________________________________________
Hello and merry belated Christmas everyone :)
So, yeah, that's it, the prologue of the "How To Save A Life" Sequel, my birthday present from me to you ;)
I really hope it's not too confusing... I'm sorry in case it is but hopefully, everything should become clearer throughout the book.
As you might see, I've made a few decisions regarding the portrayal of Robert's and Kate's characters or more less, well, no, I'm not going to spoil it... *insert evil laugh*
Anyway, it's been a hard choice for me but eventually (and mostly after finally watching Star Wars) I decided that Ewan McGregor was the best to portray Robert in this life. I had actually gone through it with a couple of actors and he was the one who matched best.
Same goes for Kate who'll be portrayed by Emilia Clarke.
However, there are going to be a couple of scenes where Robert and Kate are going to look just like themselves (does that make sense?) but you'll definitely know when that time has come.
I really hope you're not going to be disappointed with this but unfortunately and obviously, they could no longer look like they did in the first book but their personality still is the same...
Anyway, I am super excited for this one and I really hope you'll like what I've planned for this one! It's probably going to take some time until the first real chapter is actually going to be released but I just wanted to give you something so you know what's going to happen ;)
So, yeah, that's it, basically...
I hope you've had some great Christmas days and you're all going to have an amazing new year!
Lots of love,
Sarah :)
P.S.: I'm sorry for this crappy cover, I'm not really talented to be honest, haha.