Monday
I get to the bus stop, there's my boyfriend playing around with his friends. (Laugh) He's unique I swear. Camila wannet me to go where she sits, with her group with Michael and Bebo. They don't know me and Ricardo are dating, well Michael he knows but I'll let the rest find out themselves (laugh). Franchesca seat next to camila in the table , next to her there was her sister Megan.
Franchesca: I found out you and Ricardo are dating...
Me: who told you?(laugh)
Megan: everyone knows (laugh)
Camila: wait you're dating Ricardo??!
Me:(laugh) yes
Camila: ew! Why him?
Franchesca: I know right?! I even told him, she's too pretty for you ...
Me:(laugh) that's so mean guys
Franchesca: What do you even see in him?
Joelys: Gary!
I turned around
Me: yes?
Joelys: Ricardo said for you to go up to him.
Me: okay, well I'll talk to you guys later...
Franchesca: okay go with your.... Boyfriend (laugh)
Me: hush (laugh)
Jasmine runs up to me and grabs me by the arm.
Jasmine: Gary I got to talk to you
Me: okay, Joelys tell him I'll be tjere in a couple minutes...
Joelys: Okay
Me: Alright, what do you want to talk about?
Jasmine: Are you dating Ricardo?
Me:(laugh) yes , why?
Jasmine: Why!? You're too pretty for him!
Me:(laugh) why everybody keep saying the same thing?!
Jasmine: Because is the truth!(laugh)
Me:(laugh)
Jasmine: Well I'm going to tell you one thing , watch out because I've heard a lot of things about him.
Me: You trying to say that he would cheat on me?
Jasmine: no! Never!(laugh) it's just... You'll find out yourself... Just don't do anything stupid and whatever he does let me know so I can hurt him okay?
Me:(laugh) okay
Jasmine: alright I'll see you later...
Me: alright
Before I even go there the bus came so now I have to walk to the bus, I'll talk to him in the bus (laugh). He gets first in the bus, he sits in the 2nd seat in the right side of the bus because well, see the thing is that I have that type of luck where I date trouble makers (laugh). As soon as he saw me he seemed nervous, I've never seen him getting blushed like a tomato (laugh). I seat by the window next to him. He couldn't look at me without smiling and covering his face. " What's wrong?" I said between giggles. He looked at me and covered his face again while smiling . Joelys, Valeria, Camila, Rachel, and Brianna kept staring at us.
Ricardo: what's with y'all?
Brianna: what's with you? You're red as fuck!
Rachel: awh! He really likes you, I've never seen him blush with any girl.
Me:(laugh) that makes my day than...
Ricardo started playing with my hand and measured my hand with his, his hand was twice as bigger than mines. Why I had to be so small?!(laugh). He couldn't look at me without smiling and seeing how much I mean to a certain person it also makes me smile, maybe he'll be the one to rip Jayven off my heart and put his name instead. We started talking normally but he was still blushing. I mean is our first time holding hands after all this months that he liked me and somehow I felt attracted to him. I would of been blushing too i it wasn't because I met Jayven and fell in love with him. We got to the school he left with his friends to the cafeteria and I left with mines to go walk around the school. The fact that me and Ricardo are dating has been the topic of the day.
Jayven
I'm on my way to my 6 period, as I walk up stairs I started to remember about how me and her always used to walk to class together and now that she's gone everything feels empty and coming to school has loosed its purpose. I miss her a lot but at least I got the hope to see her again, no, I know I will when I ask her out. God! please give me the courage to ask her out before someone else does it first! (laugh) I'm so happy knowing I mean something to her, when she said she missed me a lot I turned red! I can't believe all this is happening, the girl of my dreams likes me back well I don't like her I LOVE HER! I love her with all of my heart, I swear on my life I will always try my best to keep her in my life. I will never let anything or anyone hurt her I'll protect her and love her till the day I'll die. I want her to be my childrens mom and my future wife, I want to die with her and wake up every morning and see her beautiful smile. I know it sound pretty lame coming from me or even immature but I've never been so serious about a girl like I am with Gary. I told Rain that I love Gary since the moment I first saw her and I couldn't hurt her that she is an amazing girl but my heart belongs to someone else and she understood anyways this relationship wasn't going nowhere and she knew it all along. I went up to my sit and waited for Kiara to arrive. I want to know how Gary was. There she comes by the door, she sat in her cheir and put her stuff down. I seat next to her to talk about Gary,
Me: Hey!
Kiara:... Bye
Me: Really?! What did I do to you! (laugh)
Kiara: Nothing It's just that everytime you talk to me it's for a reason and it's either Gary or that you need help on something.
Me: No, well... only sometimes (laugh)
Kiara: see!
Me: but this time is different! (laugh)
Kiara: uhum ...
Me: so how was the party yesterday?
Kiara: It was great, I met Gary's friends in her new school and met this guy named Jonathan, he was cute.
Me: Get it girl!(laugh)
Kiara: (laugh) shut up Jay jay
Me: so how was Gary?
Kiara: Oh my God here we go...
Me: Tell me!! please!! Does she likes someone else now? does she still likes me? does she miss me a lot? how much does she miss me? Should I ask her out today or should I wait till Friday? Kiara!!!!!
Kiara: OH MY GOD !! Move on !!! She has a boyfriend now leave me alone and stop asking about her Jesus!
My heart just dropped and broke into a million pieces as soon as she said that.I looked down to the floor and said " oh okay" as my voice cracked and I was trying to hold back my tears. I walked away and seat on my cheir in the back of the room. How was I so dumb?! While she's with another dude I'm here thinking about making her my girl, How could you be so stupid Jayven !!! Now you lost her forever and the last hope you had has slipped away. I should o asked her our when I had the chance. Maybe she found out I was wil Rain and that's why she started dating someone else. But yesterday she told me she missed me it doesn't make sence! Why does it still matters anyways I loosed that one girl that meant my everything. My first love has gone away and now I have to watch another guy have her because I didn't have the guts to ask her out. I loosed her and by loosing her I have lost myself along the way too. That day I didn't talk to anybody in class and when I got home I went straight to the bathroom and closed the doors and started crying my eyes out just asking "why?". When I finally found happyness it slips away out of my hands, maybe it was Kiara just kidding about her being with another guy Gary would of told me right?! That has to be and if it isn't I don't ever want to love anyone ever again. She was my strength and without her there's no hope left in my life.
Gary
I'm in the bus with Ricardo, he is sitting next to me and just saying this will be for the rest of the school year or if we last less.
Ricardo: You're not leaving without a kiss.
Me:(laugh) Don't worry, I won't.
We get to the bus stop and got off the bus, there were mark and his brother sitting in the place where Ricardo and his friends always hang out at. We walk together over there and everyone else is just getting off the bus staring at us.
Mark: I want to see the first kiss hold up!
Patrick: hurry up nigga and give her the kiss!
RIcardo: Hold up! (laugh)
Me:(laugh)
Okay, here it goes my first kiss everygirl dreams of this moment in their lifes and he is going to have my first kiss. He bends down and grab me by my hips. He closes his eyes and pushed his lips against mines and stayed like that for 4 seconds . I could hear everybody making their "oh!" sounds and Nydia screaming of disgustiness. I open my eyes and see him smiling at me so I smiled back, he kissed me again there goes my second kiss.
Ricardo: I'll text you when you get home, I love you...
Me:I love you too
We went our different ways to our houses. When I got home I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror repeting in my mind that I already had my first kiss with Ricardo a moment I was waiting for since I used to dream of those love fairytales . I look on my phone to see Ricardo's message saying "your lips are so fucking soft! I could kiss them all day long!" I smiled and text him back. Kiara texted me too but something that didn't make me as happy.
Kiara: I feel bad....
Me: why?
Kiara: I yelled at Jayven and told him to move on that you had a boyfriend...
Me: Why would you do that!? You know he likes me!
Kiara: What?! He kept annoying me saying your name every freaking day!
Me: Still! anyways what did he do?
Kiara: he put his head down and said "oh okay" and didn't speak to anyone the whole day...
ME: Omg Kiara!
Kiara: what!? he deserves it for being a fuckboy...
Me: Nobody in this world deserves pain regardless of what they did Kiki...
My heart broke and my day has just gotten fucked up. I never imagined this was going to affect him this much. I want to text him but I can't I'm scared of what he might do or say. It hurts me to know I hurted him and most of all because I hurted the one that I truly love but I can't leave the one that truly loves me. I feel trapped because they both like me and I'm scared of what could happen. Now I have to watch how I loose the one I truly wanted a future with and see him walk away and love someone else now I have to be happy by just being his best friend. All I got left is a broken heart, some old messages, a letter, and thousand of memories with Jayven, my not so mine Jayven.