Darkness darkness everywhere
Behind my eyes and in my head.
It clouds my mind, it's dark in here.
Darkness takes over as I lay in bed.
I wish to dream a dream of happiness
With hope and light and gentleness,
But all that comes is nightmares.
The pain and fear make me tangle my hair.
I toss and turn in the dredful night.
I give my arm a pinch praying my eyes open.
Hoping to awake to the piercing light.
I sit up in bed wishing, praying, hoping
That the day won't be as dredful
As the sleepless nights and long days before it,
but I must remain hopeful
Or darkness will gain hold and drag me to the pit
Darkness, insomnia, depression, despair
All these make me rip out my hair.
As my dreams fade away, goals diminish.
Tiredness grows is my life finished?
Is suffering all that's left for me?
I thought as I walk to the tree.
Rope in hand tying the knot.
All that's left is to step off.