*
I sit on the toilet lid with tears streaming down my cheeks. I stare down at the white stick in my hand that has a very clear pink plus on it. I can't believe it. I can't be pregnant. But it's right in front of me. That little pink plus staring up at me mockingly.
After almost a week of throwing up, I knew it was something more than the simple flu or stomach bug. I tried so desperately to ignore the signs, ignore what my body was telling me but I also knew the problem wouldn't just go away if I ignored it.
So here I am, taking my third pregnancy test. I didn't want to believe the first one and the second one made me nervous but the third is forcing me to admit defeat.
I'm pregnant.
How will I tell Jack?
The thing is, I know he'll be over the moon... me on the other hand, I'm devastated.
*
I find Jack in the kitchen. He's cooking dinner. I lean against one of the kitchen counters and bite my lip as I stare at the back of his head. His dark hair that's beginning to go grey is all I can really see.
I sniff as my eyes begin to well up again. The sound catches his attention and he turns around, his eyes instantly locking with mine.
Jack smiles at me for a second. I can't return the smile as I quickly wipe my cheek rid of that tear but more follow it. Jack's smile vanishes and he regards me with concern.
"Meredith? What's the matter, baby?" He asks as he abandons the food and takes the few steps towards me.
He cradles my face in his large rough hands and scans my face with his eyes.
"Are you feeling sick again?"
I shake my head and try to pull away from him. He lets go of my face but grabs onto my hips to pull me closer.
"Tell me, Meredith." He demands a little sternly.
"I'm pregnant." I whisper after a few moments.
"What?"
"I'm pregnant." I say louder and look up to see his reaction.
His face is a mask of pure shock. The tears run freely down my cheeks and I try to pull out of his grasp, I just need to get away but his grip tightens.
"I'm sorry. Please just let me go." I cry softly.
"You're pregnant... of course." He murmurs to himself.
I watch a smile slowly form on his lips until it's a full-blown grin.
"Why are you apologising? This is amazing news!" His cheeriness makes me sick.
I don't want a child with him. He's twice my age. I never chose to be with him.
I'm just his prisoner.
*