"We never got to play twenty questions..." I pointed out two weeks later after we'd dropped Leo and Nathan at the bowling alleys where their football team would celebrate yet another victory. We were headed to the Chinese where we'd meet Landon, Owen, Rosco and Keira.
"That's right..." He said with a smirk, probably remembering what happened the last time I'd suggested we play.
"I'm only talking about the normal version, by the way..." I added and laughed when he sent me a puppy look.
"I'll start then..." He said very seriously a few seconds later. "What's your favorite place in the world?"
I had to laugh at that considering that I'd never even left the State. But he didn't know that so I didn't say a word and started thinking about an answer to give him.
Only I was kind of embarrassed by the first thought that popped into my mind.
Wherever you are...
I sighed.
"What's wrong?" His concerned voice brought me back to the present.
I grimaced.
"Nothing... It's just the only answer that came to my mind is incredibly cheesy and I'm a bit embarrassed..."
I lifted my head to see his reaction and frowned when I realized that all his attention was on me, instead of on the road. I started to panic but realized we were no longer moving. A glance through the window finished to reassure me.
He must have been really worried by my silence because he'd parked the car to the side of the road.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" He said softly. I instantly felt bad about worrying him about something so ridiculous.
I took a deep breath and averted my eyes from him before mumbling, "Wherever you are..."
"Look at me, Poppy..." He instructed seriously so I did. "Not so long ago you told me that Nathan was your only priority..." He started.
"He still is..." I cut in and lowered my gaze again before pursuing. "B-but I just can't imagine my life without you in it..."
"F*ck, Poppy!" He groaned. "Do you have any idea of what you're doing to me?!" His words didn't fit with his gentle tone so his statement left me totally confused. "Look at me, Baby..." My heart skipped a beat at his nickname but I did what he asked anyway. "I was a goner the minute you walked into my life... When you slapped that bitch after she'd taken the piss at Leo, I had to stop myself from proposing on the spot..."
Was I even still breathing? I had the impression to be floating in some alternate universe. Things like that didn't happen in really life, did they?
"Poppy, my little Firecracker..." He was smiling now. "I..." He was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He rolled his eyes and answered. "Yeah?" I recognized Landon's voice on the other end. We were late and they were wondering where we were. "We're almost there." He replied shortly and hung up.
His cheeks were a nice shade of pink when he started the car again but I knew mine were probably even redder so kept quiet.
I was kind of relieved he'd been interrupted because I was still petrified by the extent of my feelings for him and I wasn't ready to address them but his almost-declaration had filled me with so much hope that I was almost bursting with it.
When I'd finally recovered and the silence got too much, I decided to lighten up the mood a bit.
"What's your favorite memory?" I asked.
"Of course you'd ask me that..." He sighed with a small smile. "My favorite memory..." He paused. "It was before my mom got ill..." Damn! I thought, realizing I'd done anything but lighten up the mood. "She and Dad took Owen and I for a weekend at our beach house on the East Coast to announce to us she was pregnant with yet another boy." He chuckled a bit. "She was wearing her long white dress and Dad made her dance for hours in the sand at the end of our picnic while Owen and I built a huge sand castle." He raked his hand through his light brown hair and shook his head slowly. "Leo's birth and the first few weeks that followed come a close second but that weekend at the beach was just perfect..." He added thoughtfully.
"I'm sorry, Tyler..." I muttered, feeling bad.
"Don't, Poppy!" He interjected. "I want to share it all with you... The good, the bad and everything in between..." He added as we reached the restaurant carpark.
For the second time that evening, I was speechless.
"They're waiting for us..." He then said before getting out of the car so I followed him out.
"What the heck took you so long?!" Keira exclaimed when we finally joined them inside.
"Leave them alone, K-K!" Rosco said to her. "It's high time our Ty starts getting some!" He then joked.
I was mortified but I didn't want to embarrass Tyler either so I keep quiet.
I groaned.
"Had I known my sexual life held so much interest to you, I'd have sent you weekly updates, Adams..." Tyler's harsh tone surprised everyone, especially Rosco.
"It was a bad joke..." He said sheepishly before turning to me. "I'm sorry, Poppy..."
I shrugged and Tyler took my hand under the table and started tracing circles on my knuckles.
The silence was awkward, though, and I was glad when the waitress came to our table to take our orders.
"Did you get your dress?" Keira asked me after she left us.
"Hmm, what dress?" I said, confused.
"Homecoming is next weekend, Pops..." She interjected. "Don't tell me you haven't asked her to the dance, Ty?!" I chuckled at the death glare she sent his way but I frowned when nobody else laughed.
I turned to look at Tyler and did a double take when I saw how pale he looked.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I totally forgot to tell you..." His panic deepened my frown.
I lifted an eyebrow questioningly.
"Our Dad is flying the four of us to Greece right after the game on Friday..." He explained.
"Wow, that's great!" I exclaimed but reconsidered my answer when he frowned. "What?"
"Are you being sarcastic?" He asked, his eyebrows still knitted.
"Hmm... Why would I be? Your workaholic Dad is taking you away for the weekend..." I answered. "In freaking Europe, on top of that! How is that not awesome?!"
"You do realize you're not going with them right?" Keira asked, looking just as shocked as Tyler.
"I think he clearly said the four of them, so yeah..." I interjected blankly. "You're really confusing me right now..." I admitted before taking a long drink of my diet soda to do something with myself as all eyes were still on me.
"Which means you're going to the dance alone..." Keira went on as if going alone to a dance was a federal crime or something. Only there was something she didn't know.
"I'm not going..." I said hoping it would stop their strange reactions.
"Of course, you are!" She shot back. "Everybody is... Well apart from Ty and O, that is..."
"I've never been to one and I don't really care to be honest..." I explained. "Plus I'm not that great at dancing..." I added with my nose scrunched. "I've even been told I was a spastic dancer back in Junior school so..." They burst out laughing at that.
"Oh, I so want to see what that look like, now!" Rosco exclaimed and Landon high-fived him.
"Well, thanks to Mr. Van Houten, it won't be at the Homecoming dance..." I interjected wiggling my eyebrows.
"You're no fun, Poppy..." Landon pouted.
Meanwhile, Keira looked deep into thoughts.
"You're sure you don't want to come?" She tried again. "We could find you a substitute date, you know..."
"The hell, you will!" Tyler growled.
"Well, you should have been there, then!?" She snapped and I was once again surprised by her extreme reaction.
"Hmm...Keira?" I asked her. "Why is this so important to you?"
"Because it will be our last Homecoming together..." Her voice broke. "I just want this year to be perfect..." She added, her hazel eyes almost green now that they were full of unshed tears.
I shouldn't have glanced at Landon because as soon as I saw how brokenhearted he looked, I almost started crying on the spot.
"How about we have a Homecoming-themed party at the house the Friday after?" She perked up at my suggestion. "I'd even let you take me dress shopping and everything and I'll demonstrate my out of this world dancing talent..."
By the time I was done, she was no longer fighting her tears.
"You'd really do that for me?" Her tears were contagious it seemed, because I could feel two fat tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Aye, aye, Captain!" I answered, using the expression I used at practice whenever she gave me an instruction.
"Ty, O, you're ok with that?" They both nodded. "Ok, then..." She muttered, clearly appeased.
Once again, the waitress had a perfect timing as she arrived seconds after. I quickly wiped my tears and dug in my egg fried rice with the fork Tyler had thoughtfully asked her when we'd ordered.
"So you're really ok with us being away for four whole days at the other end of the world..." I grimaced when I realized he was still stuck on that.
I swallowed my mouthful.
"I'm really happy for you, yeah..." I said truthfully. "I'll miss you like crazy, of course, but I mean, you're coming back, yeah?"
"On the following Wednesday..." He answered and I could tell something was still bothering him.
"I don't understand what the big deal is, then..." I was getting slightly annoyed, now.
"Ty, drop it..." Owen intervened and hearing his voice made me realize how much I'd missed it, not that I did anything about it, right then, though.
"She should be throwing a tantrum, giving me an ultimatum, threatening me, anything but that..." He answered his brother as if I wasn't there, and that was actually when I saw red.
"You want a freaking tantrum?!" I exclaimed. "Well, you just got it, talking about me as if I wasn't sitting right there next to me! What is this, Tyler?!" A piece of duck was dangling dangerously from my fork as I made big moves with my hands. When I realized that Rosco was waiting for the moment when it would just end up on somebody's face or something, I sent him a glare and dropped the fork. "Do you remember what you told me in your car earlier?" I asked him. "Because no, Rosco, sorry... We weren't making babies but talking..." I added with another glare in his direction. He lowered his head at that.
"I do, Poppy... I do." He shot back. "I also clearly remember what you told me."
"And?!" I snapped.
"And if you'd been telling the truth you wouldn't have reacted that way to the news..." Lethal Tyler was back, except that instead of being scared I was two seconds away from throwing my bowl of rice in his face. "So tell us the truth, now." He ordered.
"Ty..." Owen tried again.
I was so furious that my entire body was shaking when I stood up.
"The truth! You want the truth?!" I exploded. "Ok, then." I tried to think of the worst story I could find. I wanted him to be just as angry as I was and my voice was eerily quiet when I said, "The truth is Leo told Nathan weeks ago about your little trip..." His face fell. "The truth was I was waiting for you to explain to me why I wouldn't be able to attend my first ever Homecoming Dance, which you never even mentioned when all our classmates have been talking about it for weeks..."
"Pop..." Keira was about to call me out on my lie so I hurried to continue.
"The truth is I knew the infamous Tyler Van Houten couldn't be trusted so I simply took everything you had to give me until it was time to part ways... Because I know exactly what my grandma, whom I know by the way, will do when she knows we've been together..." Why not? I thought, And now the finale. "The truth is that I was so fed up to wait for you to come clean that I contacted Ollie last week and we had a drink together..." Even Keira frowned at that. "And I will attend a homecoming dance, only not Rochester's..." I paused for added effect. "Brading's... Now, how is that for the truth?" I sent a final glance his way. "Have a good life!" I called out to them before fast-walking out of the restaurant.
As soon as I was outside, I ran as quickly as I could. I ran and ran until I reached the Van Houten's gate. I ran up the stairs and into Tyler's room. I packed all my stuff and went to the room Nathan and I had slept in, locked the door and only then did I allow myself to cry.
I was so disappointed. I felt so betrayed. He'd had no right to react that way? I didn't care whether it was out of fear. I had already given him another chance, and I was once again picking up the pieces of my shattered heart.
What did he think?! Did he really believe that he could behave the way he had and then apologize the day after? What about me?!
What about you? A little voice said at the back of my mind. Without him, you're nothing.
Nothing.
"I was a goner the minute you walked into my life... When you slapped that bitch after she'd taken the piss at Leo, I had to stop myself from proposing on the spot..."
"I want to share it all with you... The good, the bad and everything in between..."
What a load of bullshit! I thought. How could he go from professing that kind of things one minute to accusing me of being a liar?!
"Nathan..."
I reached for my phone and texted him to let him know I wouldn't pick him up later.
Back home early. Staying at the downstairs' room. Xo
Less than a minute later, it vibrated.
What happened?!
Nothing
Bullshit, Pops! Tell me!
It's over with Tyler...
On my way...
Stay with your friends.
Yeah, right...
I groaned.
What's going to happen, now?
The usual, you're going to get up and go through the motions...
I'm so tired, though.
Tough! Life's shitty, you know it so clench your teeth and move on...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I woke up with a start when I heard somebody knocking on the door. I didn't want to see anybody, unless Nathan needed me, of course.
"Poppy, open! It's me!" He called from the other side of the door as if he'd just read my mind so I got up to open the door for him.
"I've been knocking for five minutes..." He was out of breath. "I was so worried, Pops." A wave of guilt washed over me when I saw the tears on his face.
"I fell asleep..." I mumbled sheepishly dragging him inside before locking back the door. I dragged my sorry self back to the bed and crawled under the covers. He sat next to me.
"What happened, Pops?" So I told him everything.
"I think I'd have reacted like you..." He said in a small voice when I was done.
"Leo actually told me weeks ago but I was convinced you knew so never brought it up..." He sighed.
"It wouldn't have changed anything, Nate..." I pointed out. "He'd have found a reason to mess everything up anyway..."
"Maybe but I still reckon you need to tell him you lied about Ollie..."
"No way!" I exclaimed. "And don't you dare tell anyone I made that up!"
"Come on, Pops." He argued. "The two of you are meant to be together, you know it!"
I huffed.
"Did you just miss the reason why I ran home tonight?!"
"You know he has anger-management issues..." He insisted.
"He's just broken my effing heart for the second time in less than two months, Nate!" I snapped, furious he was still taking Tyler's side after everything I'd told him.
He sighed.
"I know... I just think you should have fought more, that's all..." He muttered and his words had the effect of a punch in my stomach.
Not only was he taking Tyler's defense but he was accusing me of being a coward. I couldn't start to describe to you how hurt I was. It was like my entire world was crumbling under my feet.
He must have known how much he'd just hurt me because he started crying.
"I know I'm being harsh but the real reason you snapped at him was because he'd hurt your pride..." He then said.
"Partly but not only, Nate..." I defended myself, as fat tears streamed down my face. "You weren't there..." I reminded him. "He's the one who took the easy way out first..." I went on. "I just took the same door..."
"Please, Pops." He pleaded me now. "Don't give up on him..."
"Did he put you up to it?" I asked him, not understanding why he was being so adamant.
He huffed.
"I told Leo I had a headache and called a taxi..."
"Oh ok..." I muttered with a grimace, which he didn't see since all the lights were off. "Were there any adults with you?" I then asked him when it occurred to me Leo was now on his own.
"Yeah, don't worry." He hurried to reassure me.
"Ok... I think I'm going to try to get some sleep, then..." I muttered and closed my eyes.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I got a weird sense of déjà-vu when I was jostled out of sleep by a loud banging on the door.
"Open that f*cking door, you piece of shit!" Tyler growled before banging on the door again.
"Did you tell me everything?" Nate whispered, probably wondering why the boy behind the door was so angry.
I decided to go and open the door before he actually broke it but after he sent me flying across the room, I understood he was actually not looking for me but for my brother.
"I swear to God, Jerkface! Touch my brother and you'll regret it..." I threatened when I saw him looming above my frightened brother.
When he ignored me and grabbed Nate by the collar of his shirt, I lost it.
Nobody touched my brother. NO-f*cking-BODY!
I jumped on Tyler's back and punched him again and again. He immediately let go of Nathan and tried to get me down his back, but he'd unleashed my most primal side so I kept punching and kicking him like a possessed woman until somebody came in the room and got me off his back.
"You're bleeding, Poppy..." Landon said but I barely registered his voice.
"Your best friend threw her to the floor like some vulgar ragged doll, that's why!" Nate spat.
"F*ck..." Landon mumbled. "Ty. Man, you need to come with me..."
"I don't think so..." He growled. "The f*cker left Leo on his own at the bowling alley..."
"Did something happen to him?!" Nate and I cried out at the same time.
"So now, you care!" Tyler growled.
"He got drunk with a few of your teammates..." Landon answered. "We've just tucked him in bed so he can sleep it off for the night..."
"And how is that Nathan's fault?!" I asked Mr. Jerkface.
"He should have been there..." He growled.
"Want me to list all the things you should have done but didn't tonight, you hypocrite?!" I shouted next.
"If I'd wanted the opinion of a cheating bitch, I would have said so... So just F*ck off, will you?"
I walked to him slowly until our feet were almost touching and slapped him across the face.
"This room isn't yours so you're the one who's going to f*ck off." I mimicked his words. "And don't you worry that Jerkface of yours, you will never hear from me again..." I promised.
"Guys..." Landon hissed through clenched teeth. "This is getting out of hands. Tell him you made everything up because you were pissed off, Poppy..." He tried to reason me but there was no way I'd be the one to surrender, especially after the way he'd just treated my brother.
"She did..." Nate murmured but I cut him off.
"Just get out ..." I shouted.
"Come on, Ty..." That's when I noticed that he seemed frozen all of a sudden.
"You made everything up?" He asked, and this time it was his heart I could hear as it broke into one million pieces when he realized the mess his insecurity had generated.
But unlike him, I wasn't one to break my promises so I ignored him and walked to the door, hoping they'd get the hint.
"Of course, she did!" Landon sounded exasperated. He started pulling at his hair angrily. "Do you know how lucky you are to have found a girl like Poppy?!" He exclaimed. "I get that you were scared, believe me, I really do but she's already forgiven you once and right now, even I feel like she should just tell you to go to hell." He paused to catch his breath. "Her head is bleeding because you threw her across the room..." He said in disbelief.
Tyler literally fell to the floor when it all sank in and I bit the inside of my cheek when my heart broke – yet again - at the sight of the boy, who despite my anger, still owned my heart.
"What did I do?" He muttered before violent sobs took control of his body.
His breakdown was too painful to watch so for the second time that evening, I made a run for it. I ran down the beach and followed the path lounging the beach until I reached the pontoon at the very end of the Van Houten's property.
My head felt so heavy after my run that I pulled the hood of my sweater on and lay down at the end of the pontoon. I stargazed for a while, my head throbbing, until I had the impression to be enveloped in cotton and fell in a deep sleep.