It's been two days since her mental breakdown in Lioras' cottage. Since then, Tara has not gotten out of bed or woken up to eat or bathe.
The seers words taunted her, mocked her as she dazed in and out of sleep. By this time her body ached from lack of movement and her tormented mind reluctantly accepted her fate.
She would never see her family ever again.
She refused to get up. Maybe if she withered away and let death claim her she would know peace. Or at least feel some semblance of it. Anything to erase the ache in her heart for never seeing the ones she loves and hurting the ones she loves now.
Night fall came and still they insisted she eat but again she refused. Her throat dry from not speaking or accepting an ounce of water. She could barely reject the tray placed before her due to the beginnings of fatigue. By this time she was faced by a handful of wary sad servants that pleaded for her to at least drink the beef broth they had prepared for her. As enticing as it sounded she did not have the desire to drink even that.
Depression. It was a dangerous illness that lurked in the bowels and recesses of the mind and soul. Then when it rears it's ugly head, it can drag you down to hell to happily enjoy it while it parades your sorrow, hurt, pain and worries around like a flag.
That's how she felt.
The familiar voice and figure of Aidan sat before her then. Pleading with her to at least sit up and drink a sip of water. He thought he could get through to her. But, it was useless. Even as his tears fell and he blamed himself for what she was going through, it hadn't moved her. She just couldn't shake this horrible feeling from herself. It was eating away at her like a disease.
She just shut her eyes to will the image of him away barely able to turn her weak body away from him. It ached so much.
Sleep claimed her for the third time in the day shutting away the worry, the arguments and the protests to force her to eat.
"And what do you prefer? For her to whither away and die!" Duncan shouted at the door as he was blocked by Aidan.
"No, but It does her no good to deal with your barbaric ways. Look at her! She can barely lift her head," he shouted back.
"And who's fault is that?" Duncan hissed stepping closer.
"No! do not blame me for this. If you had not insisted on the marriage then she would have not been driven to go see Liora," Aidan bit out.
Duncan scoffed.
"You...brought up the idea, brother."
"Besides, she would have gone to the seer regardless." His voice lowered.
He stood there with his shoulders slumped against the doorjam. Defeat creased his brow as he looked from afar and watched Tara sleep.
*~*~*~*
Cool fingers rubbed her arms and the familiar voice broke through to her. Her eyes fluttered open slowly to stare into familiar brown eyes filled with mischief.
"Wake up sleepy head," she teased.
"Mimi!!," Tara barely got the name out.
"Who else would it be silly?" Mimi laughed.
Tara groaned not able to lift her head.
"Man, you sure know how take it for the team. I'm afraid your not Flu retardant, ergo no game tonight," she stood and began to comb her hair.
How can this be?
"The flu?" Tara asked.
Mimi turned to look at her.
"Yeah, it's a yucky season. Andrew just got over it. You probably got it from him."
The bright morning light only increased the thumping in her head.
"What...?" Tara began to speak when the voice that her mind had forgotten long ago called from the door.
"Mimi your mom's down stairs hun," her mother walked in through the bedroom door.
"Mom!!!," she croaked.
Her heart slammed in her chest. Tears formed in her eyes.
Confusion mulled in her head. Her blurry vision took in the semi-familiar bedroom.
Tears welled in her eyes with a mixture of fright and excitement. She watched as her mother came closer. She looked more beautiful than anything. Her hair she noticed was the color she had before undergoing her chemo treatments.
How she wanted to sit up and wrap her arms around her but deep she knew this wasn't real. It was a dream. It had to be.
Those loving eyes looked directly at her with a smile. She knelt beside her and gently touched her forehead and then her cheeks.
"Mom," Tara whispered.
She watched as her mother's eyes filled with tears. And knelt beside her in the bed.
"Shhhh!" She gently caressed her cheek.
Tara lay silent staring at her mother. Taking in all her features. How she missed her so much. How she needed her now more than anything.
"I want you to listen to me baby girl," her mother whispered as she brushed her hair away from her face.
"This is not your time to be with me love," she dashed away a tear.
"You must go back," she said.
Tara shook her head not wanting to here that. Now that she found her she didn't want to.
"No," Tara shook her head slowly her tears felling heavily.
"Sweety, listen to me," she gently wiped a tear away from Tara's face.
" I am watching over you, your not alone. You have to go back. For your dad, your aunt, Mimi, Andrew, Carl." Her mother mentioned them slowly.
Tara shut her eyes tightly tying to envision her friends and family.
"And Duncan," she breathed.
Tara immediately opened her eyes. She watched her mother sniffle with a beautiful smile wiping away a falling tear.
"They love you sweetheart. He loves you."
"You have to be strong honey and fight this I want you to fight this. You will be fine. Remember I'm always watching over you," she held her hand and squeezed it tight.
"I want you to rest , close your eyes and get your strength back for me, o.k. ?"
Tara nodded. Reluctantly she shut her eyes not wanting to loose sight of her mother. Her sweet voice slowly began to hum and caress her. It calmed her as the soft familiar voice soothed her into a deep sleep. The warm kiss above her forehead was the last thing she felt before darkness claimed her again.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Darkness enveloped her for only a brief moment as she fought her way back out of it.
She jerked a little slowly becoming aware of her surrounding. Her eyes fluttered open and she realized she was back where she left off. Lost in time. Like so many times she repeated to herself now it finally stuck. She was lost in time. With no possibility of ever returning home.
She turned her body slightly and noticed that slouched in a chair next to the bed, Duncan slept with his head tossed back and legs crossed and propped on the bed.
She felt too weak to lift her head or move.
She ached all over and felt thirsty as if she had the flu.
She licked her lips that were so dry and partially cracked from lack of water.
"Duncan," her voice rasped.
Her throat dry, Tara swallowed hard licking her parched lips.
Slowly he stirred and sat bolt up right. He looked at her.
"Water," she said.
He quickly walked over to the nearby table and poured a gobblet of water.
Holding it to her lips, he watched her guzzle it thirstily.
He set the goblet aside and knelt down beside her.
His eyes sadly roamed over her face taking in her appearance. Her eyes held so much sadness that his heart ached for her. He could not imagine what she was going through.
He gently caressed her cheek and softly spoke to her.
"You had me so worried," he whispered.
"I'm sorry," tears began to form in her eyes.
"Shhh, no love it is not your fault." He shook his head.
"It was I that she ask your forgiveness. I wasn't thinking of how you would feel with any of this," he caressed her cheek lovingly.
Suddenly a silence fell between them as they took in each others features.
She shakily lifted her fingers to his cheek. She watched as his eyes closed and he sighed pressing his hand over them. His face etched in worry softened with her touch. He let her cold fingers trace every outline of his face. Slowly his eyes opened and locked with hers.
He watched as she shivered a bit and quickly placed his warm hand over hers.
"I must find you something to eat and see that Moira get a bath ready for you." He said starting to stand up.
She shook her head slightly.
"Please, don't go," she begged.
He stopped and looked at her.
"Stay with me," she asked.
The concern in his gaze changed and softened to a sweet smile that barely reached his lips. He shifted his weight and stood up slowly, pulled the coverlet aside and climbed under it next to her. He moved closer to her until his body was flushed next to her.
His warmth soothed her just as his closeness calmed her rapidly beating heart. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close and tightly closed his eyes as she nuzzled her face to his chest. He exhaled briefly as if he had been holding his breath for a long time. He caressed and hugged her as if he didn't want her to slip away.
He leaned his head down and lovingly kissed her forehead, her nose, her eyes, her cheek then gently brushed her lips with his. He held her with such tenderness as if not to break her.
"I want you to know that you will always have me, I love you," he whispered.
He pulled her closer as she nodded her head. He felt overwhelmed at this moment and it weighed heavily on his heart. She looked so fragile, defeated and as if she was giving up and he feared that if he didn't do anything now he would most definitely loose her. And he would not let that happen.
"Everything will be alright," he closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair letting sleep claim his tired body. Together they let sleep claim them. With nothing but a promise of a new day was on his mind. A promise to make her better, a promise to love her unconditionally. A promise to make her forget.
Deep down he didn't know how he would manage it but he would try. For her sake he would try.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Hello my lovelies,
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