At 1600 that night, I take Lilyanna with me to shoot the propo. She is not oblivious to the fact that Chase and I had a fight, and wants answers. I tell her I was mad that he couldn't control himself, but we made up earlier today. She seems satisfied enough.
Plutarch is overjoyed to see Lilyanna. "You'll be a valuable addition today, young lady." He says.
Fulvia films us with Cressida's backup camera. I explain to the world that I'm pregnant with Chase Moore's child, and talk about how happy I am that the child will be born. Lilyanna says she's happy to become a big sister and cracks a few jokes.
Plutarch and Fulvia congratulate us, and we head off to bed. Chase is inside our compartment sitting on the bed. "I got accepted to go to the Capitol today." He says. "You were right, Alex. They're sticking me with a 'Star Squad'. I'll be doing nothing but smiling for the cameras."
"But you're going." Lilyanna clarifies.
He nods. "I've gotta be there, being useful even if it's not much useful at all."
"When do you leave?" I ask.
Chase sighs. "Tomorrow."
Lilyanna runs to hug him, and I follow her. Our broken little family embraces each other, and I remember how far we've come together. We all sleep in one bed that night. Chase puts both his arms around me, and I hold Lilyanna's hand.
***
At 0400 the next morning, Haymitch barges in and tells us that Johanna is back in the hospital. Chase and Lilyanna stay in bed, while I go to visit her.
"What happened?" I ask Haymitch.
He rubs his temples. "Ah, she went to the Block today-it's some training course that targets your weaknesses. They flooded the street because she's afraid of water. Ever since the Capitol tortured her with electric shocks under water., she hasn't been able to go near it. Anyway, Johanna had a flashback and freaked out."
I sigh. Now Jo can't go to the Capitol. She'll be devastated.
Haymitch pushes open the door to her room, where she is fighting with a doctor.
"Just give me the painkillers!" Johanna moans. "You have no idea how much my body hurts! No f*****g idea!"
The doctor shakes her head. "I'm sorry Johanna, but you need to heal naturally, and we don't want you getting attached to these painkillers." The doctor leaves before Jo can protest anymore.
"Hey brainless." I say lightly.
She moans in reply. "Did you hear I can't go?" She asks quietly as Haymitch slips out. "They won't let me go."
Johanna's voice is broken, and I realize everything has gone wrong for her since she was reaped. Most Victors have some good days, but Johanna's hardships outweigh mosts'. She was reaped, survived the Games, got all her family killed when she refused to be a prostitute, was reaped again, got tortured in the Capitol, was sent to 13 where she got addicted to morphling, and now can't go help destroy the one person who caused her all is pain.
"I know." I say.
She picks up the applesauce they've given her and throws it at the wall. Johanna's strength in the second Games would've made the container crack and break against the wall. The applesauce doesn't even make it to the wall today.
Angry tears charge down Johanna's face. "I just hate everything about my life, Alex. The only reason I haven't killed myself yet, is because I want to see him suffer. If I have to cut off my arm and leg, I will just to see the light leave his eyes."
"I'll make sure you live long enough to be happy." I tell her.
She sighs with an exasperated smile on her face. "Six people." Johanna says softly. "I've killed six people. Made six families cry. Hell, I killed my own friend. I killed one of your closest friends. Why do you not hate me?"
I lean forward and embrace her. Johanna and I have never hugged before-not once. Not when we've said goodbye or even I've had emotional breakdowns. Not even when she came back from the Capitol.
I look her straight in the eyes. "I've run dry on hate."
Johanna wipes her eyes and spits on the floor. "I can't believe I'm not going."
"Me either."
She sighs. "It'll just be us, Haymitch, and Annie." Johanna says. "What're we gonna do?"
Johanna reaches up to run her fingers through her hair, only to realize there's none there. She always used to run her fingers through her hair. Johanna sighs and her eyes fill with tears. "They screwed us up good, didn't they?"
***
Corie finds me that afternoon and tells me she's in a squad with Chase, Gale, Finnick, Everdeen, and Boggs.
"We leave in a few hours." She tells me. Corie looks down at my stomach. "Hopefully we'll be back in time to see him or her be born. It's all Chase talks about during training."
I smile lightly. "He's really excited." I pat my stomach. "I want him to be with me through this, but I guess he'll be helping the cause though."
Corie smiles. "You two will do fine. The way you talk about each other lets me know you'll be in love forever."
I've never thought long-term until now. Everything before my first Games, and up until getting rescued from the second games, I didn't wonder about if the Capitol would ever fall. If there's a forever for us, then maybe Chase and I will be together forever. Who knows? Maybe we'll win this war.
We go to to Special Defense, and I get the feeling that I am not supposed to be where I am.
Finnick, Gale, Everdeen, and even Chase are there. This is the Star Squad meeting.
Plutarch smiles at me and presses a button. A holographic model of the Capitol pops up. "This, for example, is the area surrounding one of the Peacekeepers' barracks. Not unimportant, but not the most crucial of targets, and yet look." Lights pop up and Plutarch points to them. "Each light is called a pod.cit represents a different obstacle, the nature of which could be anything from a bomb to a band of mutts. Make no mistake, whatever it contains is designed to either trap or kill you. Some have been in place since the Dark Days, others developed over the years. To be honest, I created a fair number myself. This program, which one of our people absconded with when we left the Capitol, is our most recent information. They don't know we have it. But even so, it's likely that new pods have been activated in the past few months."
I almost collapse from sheer surprise. Pods controlled by the Gamemakers... It's just like the Hunger Games. Everdeen, Finnick, Chase and I exchange a look.
"Ladies and gentleman...." Finnick murmurs.
Everdeen smiles coldly. "Let the 76th Hunger Games begin!"
Silence falls across the room as Everdeen forces a laugh. Just to make her feel better, Chase, Finnick and I chuckle too.
"I don't even know why you bothered to put us Victors through training, Plutarch." Everdeen jokes.
Finnick smirks. "Yeah, we're already the best-equipped soldiers you have."
Plutarch points at them impatiently. "Do not think that fact escapes me. Now back in line, soldiers. I have a presentation to finish."
He finishes, and the rest of the presentation is rather boring. I say goodbye to Corie, who has to go say goodbye to her mother. Me and the other Victors- Finnick, Chase, Everdeen, we keep walking around the halls talking.
"What will I tell Annie?" Finnick says softly.
We hit a wall and slide down together, all four of us. "Nothing." Everdeen says. "That's what my mother and sister will be hearing from me."
"If she sees that holograph-"
Everdeen puts a hand up. "She won't. It's classified information. It must be."
I nod. "Yeah, and more people than one will live." I say.
Chase's brows furrow. "You still want to go, right?"
"Of course. I want to destroy Snow as much as you do." He says.
Everdeen nods convincingly. "It won't be like the others." She tells him. "This time Snow will be a player, too."
That will be better-Snow is no different from any other players. A taste of his own medicine.
Haymitch finds us. He's real jittery, and on edge. "Johanna's back in the hospital."
Of course, I know this, but Finnick and Everdeen are shocked. They are putting two and two together about how Jo can't go to the Capitol now.
Everdeen and Finnick go to visit Johanna. They leave in five hours. Chase and I look at each other. We are determined to spend one last hour together.